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what food do you avoid the most
flesh
booby juice
vegetables
salt
gluten free organic
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Dolphin
Dec 5, 2008
I SNIFF BUTTS

i have this friend on this diet that thinks he's super healthy. he's like 6'4" and weighs about 120lbs, has constant headaches and is sick all the time. he can barely even get up in the morning on most days he feels so bad. he thinks it's because of the additives in some of the foods he eats, so he's restricting his diet more. he also thinks gluten is a carbohydrate. also he doesn't eat nuts, they give him headaches.

meanwhile i eat a slice of bacon and he's all "that's really gross dude and super bad for you." i'm like bitch you don't know poo poo about health, stop acting like you're better than me because you don't eat any protein and have a severe b12 deficiency.

"that poo poo's processed, i only eat all natural foods"

go eat some hemlock you retard

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Fireless Phoenix
May 3, 2012

by Lowtax


Dolphin posted:

go eat some hemlock you retard

asaf
Sep 22, 2010

The cops want to search the train

lmao no nightshade is a real thing, apparently. What does your friend eat

Geoff Zahn
Aug 18, 2005


tbf nightshade causes damage health 2 points for 1 second so you probably shouldn't eat it regularly

Cesar Cedeno
May 9, 2011
If you are wondering who this idiot posting dumb shit in your thread is, it's me Pobama

lol 6'4 and 120 pounds, if your not loving around then this problem should sort itself out in under a year. So just let him keep on keeping on.

Lawman 0
Aug 17, 2010



Dolphin posted:

i have this friend on this diet that thinks he's super healthy. he's like 6'4" and weighs about 120lbs, has constant headaches and is sick all the time. he can barely even get up in the morning on most days he feels so bad. he thinks it's because of the additives in some of the foods he eats, so he's restricting his diet more. he also thinks gluten is a carbohydrate. also he doesn't eat nuts, they give him headaches.

meanwhile i eat a slice of bacon and he's all "that's really gross dude and super bad for you." i'm like bitch you don't know poo poo about health, stop acting like you're better than me because you don't eat any protein and have a severe b12 deficiency.

"that poo poo's processed, i only eat all natural foods"

go eat some hemlock you retard

how does your friend weigh 120 at 6'4, is he like all bones?

Real hurthling!
Sep 11, 2001



Nightshade allergies are real. Some people get restricted breathing if they have eggplant.

THS
Jun 23, 2002



you should have sex with your friend op

edit: i am referring to anal sex, specifically

THS fucked around with this message at Jun 17, 2014 around 21:12

Lawman 0
Aug 17, 2010



Real hurthling! posted:

Nightshade allergies are real. Some people get restricted breathing if they have eggplant.

drat that must be the worst allergy to have since you can't have potatoes, chilli's, and tomatoes too right?

Steampunk iPhone
Sep 2, 2009


"Eww 6'4 and 120 pounds, gross, thats some skeleton poo poo" *weighs 300 lbs, lives in america and has never seen a normal sized human male before*

Dolphin
Dec 5, 2008
I SNIFF BUTTS

Lawman 0 posted:

how does your friend weigh 120 at 6'4, is he like all bones?
he's actually a little lumpy, he just has no muscle on him at all. some fat though. he's kinda freaky looking.

Real hurthling! posted:

Nightshade allergies are real. Some people get restricted breathing if they have eggplant.
celiac disease is real too. these all natural gluten free organic people get psycho about other people's allergies though.

i'm thinking about telling him about salicylate sensitivity. just to see how he'll cope.

Dolphin fucked around with this message at Jun 17, 2014 around 21:22

Fireless Phoenix
May 3, 2012

by Lowtax


Steampunk iPhone posted:

"Eww 6'4 and 120 pounds, gross, thats some skeleton poo poo" *weighs 300 lbs, lives in america and has never seen a normal sized human male before*

you think 120lbs at 6'4 is "normal sized" lmbo

Cesar Cedeno
May 9, 2011
If you are wondering who this idiot posting dumb shit in your thread is, it's me Pobama

Steampunk iPhone posted:

"Eww 6'4 and 120 pounds, gross, thats some skeleton poo poo" *weighs 300 lbs, lives in america and has never seen a normal sized human male before*

You know I'm getting real sick of this pro-skeleton agenda SA keeps pushing.

It's not healthy man.

Shithouse Dave
Aug 5, 2007

each post manufactured to the highest specifications



Tell your friend about breeatharianism instead, OP.

Dolphin
Dec 5, 2008
I SNIFF BUTTS

Ooh, I found a good diet for him.
http://salicylatesensitivity.com/ab...ide/vegetables/
Only eat the items on the left. Cross-reference for gluten and nightshades. Avoid the meat and dairy sections. Only buy from farmers markets and food coops.

This will work.

Bamboo Shoots
Beans (dried not borlotti)
Cabbage (green or white)
Celery
Green Split peas
Lentils (brown)
Lentils (red)
Lettuce (iceberg)
Peas (dried)
Banana
Canned Pear****
Lime
Pear (ripe and peeled)

Maybe I can narrow this list more. Bananas have a lot of radiation for instance. Celery is empty.

The only food I can't think of a problem with is bamboo shoots. My friend will become a giant panda.

Dolphin fucked around with this message at Jun 17, 2014 around 21:35

redshirt
Aug 11, 2007

Hailing frequencies

I have a Nightshade salad every day and I'm the picture of health.

#EATMORENIGHTSHADE

naem
May 29, 2011



Nightshade as in purple nightshade, the deadly poisonous berry? Idgi

Dolphin
Dec 5, 2008
I SNIFF BUTTS

naem posted:

Nightshade as in purple nightshade, the deadly poisonous berry? Idgi
Tomatoes, eggplant, peppers, potatoes, etc.

naem
May 29, 2011



So all the best things in life basically

Shithouse Dave
Aug 5, 2007

each post manufactured to the highest specifications



Dolphin posted:

Ooh, I found a good diet for him.
http://salicylatesensitivity.com/ab...ide/vegetables/
Only eat the items on the left. Cross-reference for gluten and nightshades. Avoid the meat and dairy sections. Only buy from farmers markets and food coops.

This will work.

Bamboo Shoots
Beans (dried not borlotti)
Cabbage (green or white)
Celery
Green Split peas
Lentils (brown)
Lentils (red)
Lettuce (iceberg)
Peas (dried)
Banana
Canned Pear****
Lime
Pear (ripe and peeled)

Maybe I can narrow this list more. Bananas have a lot of radiation for instance. Celery is empty.

The only food I can't think of a problem with is bamboo shoots. My friend will become a giant panda.

Only eating brassicas and legumes, he's gonna fart himself to death

Dolphin
Dec 5, 2008
I SNIFF BUTTS

naem posted:

So all the best things in life basically
those are the things he avoids, yeah. he used to just be vegetarian, which I thought was dumb but you know whatever. now i can't even go to a restaurant with him because of his "diet." he won't drink beer if it has "gluten". he drinks gluten free beer. he won't drink wine with sulfites because he thinks sulfite free wine won't give him hangovers. he actually thinks the sulfites in wine are what cause hangovers. not the alcohol, it's the sulfites.

Steampunk iPhone
Sep 2, 2009


Fireless Phoenix posted:

you think 120lbs at 6'4 is "normal sized" lmbo

It's on the thin side but it's a normal variation, certainly healthier than being a 180lb blob of fat. goons literally do not know what humans look like

Shithouse Dave
Aug 5, 2007

each post manufactured to the highest specifications



Dolphin posted:

those are the things he avoids, yeah. he used to just be vegetarian, which I thought was dumb but you know whatever. now i can't even go to a restaurant with him because of his "diet." he won't drink beer if it has gluten. he won't drink wine with phosphates because he thinks sulfite free wine won't give him hangovers. he actually thinks the sulfites in wine are what cause hangovers. not the alcohol, it's the sulfites.

He is so ready for breatharianism. All food is poison, the most highly evolved and enlightened people live on light alone and maybe the odd cup of tea.

Seizure Robot
Sep 3, 2003

The marketing division of the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation defines a robot as 'Your Plastic Pal Who's Fun To Be With.'

Steampunk iPhone posted:

It's on the thin side but it's a normal variation, certainly healthier than being a 180lb blob of fat. goons literally do not know what humans look like

actually its severely underweight and you're going to die hahaha

Steampunk iPhone
Sep 2, 2009


Seizure Robot posted:

actually its severely underweight and you're going to die hahaha

Lighter people live longer. Caloric restriction increases longevity. Enjoy your short life and disgusting flabby body.

Professor Tomtom
Oct 22, 2010

PHD in Directionology


enjoyable human being OP

Dolphin
Dec 5, 2008
I SNIFF BUTTS

Steampunk iPhone posted:

It's on the thin side but it's a normal variation, certainly healthier than being a 180lb blob of fat. goons literally do not know what humans look like
dude it's a bmi of 14.6. and don't give me the "oh bmi isn't meant for individual health evaluation" bullshit, that's undernourishment territory.

Professor Tomtom
Oct 22, 2010

PHD in Directionology


Steampunk iPhone posted:

Lighter people live longer. Caloric restriction increases longevity. Enjoy your short life and disgusting flabby body.

Suck my dick bitch. gently caress you.

Lareine
Jul 22, 2007


It's a normal variation... if you're in a concentration camp.

hemale in pain
Jun 5, 2010


hey guys, im ugly and pathetically weak. how cool am i?

Shithouse Dave
Aug 5, 2007

each post manufactured to the highest specifications



Anorexia is particularly hot on dudes, I don't know why more bros aren't dedicated to it

redshirt
Aug 11, 2007

Hailing frequencies

Concave chests and visible ribs are sexy.

Steampunk iPhone
Sep 2, 2009


Dolphin posted:

dude it's a bmi of 14.6. and don't give me the "oh bmi isn't meant for individual health evaluation" bullshit, that's undernourishment territory.

Some people have an "obese" BMI despite being healthy because they have a large frame and tons of muscle mass. Likewise some people have small frames and naturally gain little fat or muscle mass, and are erroneously classified as underweight according to BMI. How autistic do you have to be to say "duhhhhh this number is under an arbitrary cutoff point therefore its bad"??

hemale in pain
Jun 5, 2010


Steampunk iPhone posted:

Some people have an "obese" BMI despite being healthy because they have a large frame and tons of muscle mass. Likewise some people have small frames and naturally gain little fat or muscle mass, and are erroneously classified as underweight according to BMI. How autistic do you have to be to say "duhhhhh this number is under an arbitrary cutoff point therefore its bad"??

poo poo, you had people going there for a little bit but it's just too obvious now friend.

Lareine
Jul 22, 2007


Steampunk iPhone posted:

Some people have an "obese" BMI despite being healthy because they have a large frame and tons of muscle mass. Likewise some people have small frames and naturally gain little fat or muscle mass, and are erroneously classified as underweight according to BMI. How autistic do you have to be to say "duhhhhh this number is under an arbitrary cutoff point therefore its bad"??

Nope. You're only "naturally" thin like that if you have a disease. Like AIDS or cancer.


OP, your friend probably has brittle bones now from mineral deficiencies. You should push him down the stairs.

Dolphin
Dec 5, 2008
I SNIFF BUTTS

Steampunk iPhone posted:

Some people have an "obese" BMI despite being healthy because they have a large frame and tons of muscle mass. Likewise some people have small frames and naturally gain little fat or muscle mass, and are erroneously classified as underweight according to BMI. How autistic do you have to be to say "duhhhhh this number is under an arbitrary cutoff point therefore its bad"??
what part of don't give me that bullshit didn't you understand

Box of Trial
Sep 4, 2003

TONKA HYAH

Steampunk iPhone posted:

Some people have an "obese" BMI despite being healthy because they have a large frame and tons of muscle mass. Likewise some people have small frames and naturally gain little fat or muscle mass, and are erroneously classified as underweight according to BMI. How autistic do you have to be to say "duhhhhh this number is under an arbitrary cutoff point therefore its bad"??

my dad is 5'7" and around 135 pounds because he can't eat and is dying and he looks like a skeleton so gently caress you

Dolphin
Dec 5, 2008
I SNIFF BUTTS

Lareine posted:

Nope. You're only "naturally" thin like that if you have a disease. Like AIDS or cancer.


OP, your friend probably has brittle bones now from mineral deficiencies. You should push him down the stairs.
maybe not. another quirk of his diet: he takes tons of vitamins and other supplements and thinks they prevent diseases. not vitamin deficiencies, actual infectious diseases. like sometime around last september he had the flu and took all kinds of vitamins and was convinced that his 2 week recovery was "so fast because i took vitamins and used a netti pot twice a day"

Lawman 0
Aug 17, 2010



Dolphin posted:

maybe not. another quirk of his diet: he takes tons of vitamins and other supplements and thinks they prevent diseases. not vitamin deficiencies, actual infectious diseases. like sometime around last september he had the flu and took all kinds of vitamins and was convinced that his 2 week recovery was "so fast because i took vitamins and used a netti pot twice a day"

your friend is a winner op

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Shithouse Dave
Aug 5, 2007

each post manufactured to the highest specifications



Tell him his vitamins are partially animal sourced and also highly processed.

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