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redshirt
Aug 11, 2007

Excuse the rampant bans, I've been cucked.


It's so much better for all involved.

FACT: Men's urine spray is the #1 cause of bathroom funk.

Sit down, relax, and have a piss in your own home. Read a book. Look at your hands. Contemplate life. Chill and piss.

Rather than aiming - peeing standing up is work! Don't do it in your own home!

Of course, the greatness of being male lies in peeing versatility, so if you're at a bar or the game or anywhere, piss standing up and do it loud and proud.

But in the comfort of your home, take a load off. Have a seat and a good piss - maybe you'll have a surprise poo poo! You never know.

You'll have a better time AND reduce the time needed to clean your toilet/bathroom.

Let go of old stereotypes of masculinity and what not and have a seat and a piss!

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Jay-V
Nov 8, 2009


it hurts to squat tho

Matlock Birthmark
Sep 24, 2005

LIGHT
YOURSELVES ON

FIRE


I prefer kneeling personally.

redshirt
Aug 11, 2007

Excuse the rampant bans, I've been cucked.


Jay-V posted:

it hurts to squat tho

Go see a doctor.

Twee as Fuck
Nov 13, 2012

by Lowtax


gently caress that, i'm a man and i piss standing up and i don't dilute my drinks and i only cry when field of dreams is on or when a childhood pet dies

I am Toni Lippi
Aug 16, 2004


I pee in the tub and turn the shower on for a few seconds to wash it away. No big deal.

Benito Hitlerstalin
Nov 5, 2008

We are not so very different, you and I.


God didn't give me this beautiful penis to waste on sitting down. No, I'll stand thank you very much.

reagan
Apr 29, 2008

jawohl mein fuhrer

comfort is king

Sephiroth_IRA
Mar 31, 2010


Winner #7 of the 2k14 #Gamergate Shit Show
Do not talk to me if your a SJW MRA PUA fucktarded Shitlord, (PS: GJ on ruining videogame journalism twitter drama MODS).


I only do it when I need to take a dump too because it seems to help. The only "gross" thing about it is having to tuck your thing in.

Wooten
Oct 4, 2004



As someone who was a janitor for several years, I can say 100% of the time the women's room is nastier than the men's room. Sure men piss on the floor sometimes, but they never stick pads to the walls and they don't hover over the seat and spray liquid poo poo everywhere.

Volume
May 2, 2008


redshirt posted:


FACT: Men's urine spray is the #1 cause of bathroom funk.


I'd like to see your sources because I'm pretty sure the #1 cause is bloody tampons left to fester in the waste bin.

redshirt
Aug 11, 2007

Excuse the rampant bans, I've been cucked.


Seriously, men's piss spray is the number one cause of bathroom grossness.

So not only is pissing standing up more work, but you create more work for yourself down the road.

Work less.

Have a seat and a piss!

#PEESIT

Benito Hitlerstalin
Nov 5, 2008

We are not so very different, you and I.


Having your dick accidentally touch the bowl is the loving worst. Women telling men to sit down should check their loving privilege imho

Like, if toilet makers could make a loving properly sized bowl to accommodate my sizable schlong I'd reconsider

maybe

dee eight
Dec 18, 2002

MONTANA
CATDRUG
CARTEL

no

just no

Jick Magger
Dec 27, 2005


redshirt posted:

Seriously, men's piss spray is the number one cause of bathroom grossness.

So not only is pissing standing up more work, but you create more work for yourself down the road.

Work less.

Have a seat and a piss!

#PEESIT

This is assuming that we ever clean our bathrooms.






(we don't)

PokeCrysis
Apr 15, 2013




the classy discreet and clean way to piss

Benito Hitlerstalin
Nov 5, 2008

We are not so very different, you and I.


PokeCrysis posted:


the classy discreet and clean way to piss

Volume
May 2, 2008


redshirt posted:

Seriously, men's piss spray is the number one cause of bathroom grossness.


Still want to see your sources.

Space cash
Mar 22, 2007



Life Pro Tip:

Sit down to pee in the morning to empty your bladder and clear out the morning farts. You'll be ready to start your day!

Twee as Fuck
Nov 13, 2012

by Lowtax


redshirt posted:

Seriously, men's piss spray is the number one cause of bathroom grossness.

lmao if you think that men bathrooms are anywhere near how loving gross and filthy women toilets are

Jst0rm
Sep 16, 2012

the fact you all think I made this and I am trying to self promote it to the 1300 people who read this subforum is a indication of the quality of my work


my dick is too big for that. bad position for the well endowed.

Sephiroth_IRA
Mar 31, 2010


Winner #7 of the 2k14 #Gamergate Shit Show
Do not talk to me if your a SJW MRA PUA fucktarded Shitlord, (PS: GJ on ruining videogame journalism twitter drama MODS).


The more I think about it the more I realize this will hurt the economy that desperately needs jobs because if men start sitting down to piss then there will be less mess and less need to hire custodians.

Obviously this is just a ploy by corporations and those in power to lower their labor costs, nice try.

#Standforjobs

Sephiroth_IRA fucked around with this message at Jun 17, 2014 around 22:23

Jst0rm
Sep 16, 2012

the fact you all think I made this and I am trying to self promote it to the 1300 people who read this subforum is a indication of the quality of my work


Sephiroth_IRA posted:

The more I think about it the more I realize this will hurt the economy that desperately needs jobs. If men start sitting down to piss then there will be less mess and less need to hire custodians.

Obviously this is just a ploy by management to lower their labor costs, nice try.

How does it feel to join the ranks of the job creators?

redshirt
Aug 11, 2007

Excuse the rampant bans, I've been cucked.


Twee as gently caress posted:

lmao if you think that men bathrooms are anywhere near how loving gross and filthy women toilets are

Public bathrooms are a whole different arena and I would NOT encourage men to sit and pee at work, at the bar, at a restaurant, etc.

I'm talking home bathroom only, or a trusted other bathroom like Mom's or girlfriend's.

Of course women are gross but this thread is not about women. It's about men and their peeing habits.

gggiiimmmppp
Feb 15, 2004

Just as a person haunted by a ghost exhibits madness, the best of the he-goats, attracted by the many she-goats, engaged in erotic activities and naturally forgot his real business of self-realization


i just piss out the window it's great for my roses

Momplestiltskin
Jan 15, 2014

Got any extra firstborns?

Through years of practice I have honed my ability to urinate while sporting a full erection, and this is a very handy skill to have when you wake up with morning wood. My erect penis is FAR too large to be sitting down to pee in the morning. As a side bonus I can go hands free and still aim just fine.

Ignatius M. Meen
May 26, 2011


Wooten posted:

and they don't hover over the seat and spray liquid poo poo everywhere.

i will never understand why women do this. i am weird as men go and sit as long as there is no sign of piss on the seat even with a public toilet, but i would stick obnoxious signs up about not making GBS threads on the seat in every stall if that were something men did regularly. it's like hello, there is tp you can use to wipe off piss on the seat and if there aren't proper seat covers you can improvise more tp for that job if your butt is too precious for that to be enough, why the gently caress are you still bent on having a harder time making GBS threads properly and possibly soiling yourself when you could just prep a little and then sit down???

LethalGeek
Nov 4, 2009

Angry Duck is watching you...


Wooten posted:

As someone who was a janitor for several years, I can say 100% of the time the women's room is nastier than the men's room. Sure men piss on the floor sometimes, but they never stick pads to the walls and they don't hover over the seat and spray liquid poo poo everywhere.

Male privilege is not having to clean a woman's restroom you bitches are nasty.

Also gently caress you OP I only sit in the morning cause I can't see straight yet. Stop being a candy rear end and clean your bathroom.

Twee as Fuck
Nov 13, 2012

by Lowtax


Ignatius M. Meen posted:

i will never understand why women do this. i am weird as men go and sit as long as there is no sign of piss on the seat even with a public toilet, but i would stick obnoxious signs up about not making GBS threads on the seat in every stall if that were something men did regularly. it's like hello, there is tp you can use to wipe off piss on the seat and if there aren't proper seat covers you can improvise more tp for that job if your butt is too precious for that to be enough, why the gently caress are you still bent on having a harder time making GBS threads properly and possibly soiling yourself when you could just prep a little and then sit down???

apparently the incredible technical advance of 'take some tp, get it wet using the faucet then clean the seat then wipe it with some other tp then sit on the toilet' is something they have yet to learn how to get a handle on


either that or they just think that making GBS threads on the seat itself and throwing tampons and pads so they stick on the wall is the best course of action.

LifeSizePotato
Mar 3, 2005

TY for no bm

redshirt
Aug 11, 2007

Excuse the rampant bans, I've been cucked.


Momplestiltskin posted:

Through years of practice I have honed my ability to urinate while sporting a full erection, and this is a very handy skill to have when you wake up with morning wood. My erect penis is FAR too large to be sitting down to pee in the morning. As a side bonus I can go hands free and still aim just fine.

Of course morning wood is to be considered, but sitting down presents less challenges for most than double or even triple stream pisses.

Box of Trial
Sep 4, 2003

TONKA HYAH

I can't sit in a urinal, op

jackyl
Jun 1, 2000


my dick isn't short and I'm not fat, so it is easy to aim

SpazmasterX
Jul 13, 2006

Wrong about everything XIV related
~fartz~


pretty surprised other guys don't already know this is the smart thing to do. i only take a standing piss when i'm busy and don't want to stop a few minutes to take a break

100 HOGS AGREE
Oct 13, 2007

Alcohol...
It's the water of life.



I live in a rural area so I do it outside as often as possible.

Nothin like pissin outside to rejuvenate a man's spirit, i tell you hwat.

redshirt
Aug 11, 2007

Excuse the rampant bans, I've been cucked.


Box of Trial posted:

I can't sit in a urinal, op

You have a urinal in your poo poo box apartment?

MeLKoR
Dec 23, 2004
I, Racist

redshirt posted:

Seriously, men's piss spray is the number one cause of bathroom grossness.

So not only is pissing standing up more work, but you create more work for yourself down the road.

Work less.

Have a seat and a piss!

#PEESIT

This man is right and if you bothered to clean your disgusting bathrooms you'd have figured this out long ago.

Momplestiltskin
Jan 15, 2014

Got any extra firstborns?

redshirt posted:

Of course morning wood is to be considered, but sitting down presents less challenges for most than double or even triple stream pisses.

That's a good point redshirt; the double stream and the triple stream (the hydra, as I like to call it) is a loving disaster for any man's bathroom, and you can rarely see it coming. Then you have to make yourself stop peeing, and stopping mid-piss is one of the most unpleasant feelings a man can experience.

Willy Pete
Apr 25, 2008
Twinkle, twinkle, little star
How I wonder what you are!
White with phosphorescent glow.
Burning flesh down below.


redshirt posted:

Seriously, men's piss spray is the number one cause of bathroom grossness.

So not only is pissing standing up more work, but you create more work for yourself down the road.

Work less.

Have a seat and a piss!

#PEESIT
Being a pig and not cleaning your bathroom is the number one cause of bathroom grossness. If your bathroom smells like piss all the time, clean it you rear end in a top hat.

Pissing standing up requires less work on my part since all I have to do is unzip, whip out my schlong and let er rip. Sitting down requires me to unzip, unbutton and pull my pants down to sit and then do it all again. You might as well whip while your down there since you obviously have a tiny vagina.

Momplestiltskin posted:

That's a good point redshirt; the double stream and the triple stream (the hydra, as I like to call it) is a loving disaster for any man's bathroom, and you can rarely see it coming. Then you have to make yourself stop peeing, and stopping mid-piss is one of the most unpleasant feelings a man can experience.
Pee harder to unkink the hose.

Willy Pete fucked around with this message at Jun 17, 2014 around 22:48

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SniperWoreConverse
Mar 20, 2010



Momplestiltskin posted:

That's a good point redshirt; the double stream and the triple stream (the hydra, as I like to call it) is a loving disaster for any man's bathroom, and you can rarely see it coming. Then you have to make yourself stop peeing, and stopping mid-piss is one of the most unpleasant feelings a man can experience.

this happens when the dick aperture is incorrectly positioned, but the urine pressure is too low to set up the correct laminar flow. You can apply a little sideways pressure for < 1 second and your issue should resolve itself. For "stuck dick" situations (usually caused by too tight pants or you fell asleep on your dick weird) you may have to give it a quick once over beforehand.

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