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Uncle Wemus
Mar 4, 2004

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Clitch
Feb 26, 2002

I lived through
Donald Trump's presidency
and all I got was
this lousy virus
I've worked plenty of awful jobs where cleaning the bathrooms was one of my duties. It never fails that there's at least one female who says they shouldn't have to clean the men's room, because we're so gross. Then I tell them that I've never walked into a men's room, and thought a hatchet murder must have taken place. That usually wins the argument for me.

Be thankful that horrible scene predated cellphone cameras. Whoever committed that atrocity must have left that bathroom a quart low.

Oh, and gently caress you, OP. How am I supposed to uphold the Patriarchy, if I sit down to pee?

klapman
Aug 27, 2012

this char is good

Clitch posted:

I've worked plenty of awful jobs where cleaning the bathrooms was one of my duties. It never fails that there's at least one female who says they shouldn't have to clean the men's room, because we're so gross. Then I tell them that I've never walked into a men's room, and thought a hatchet murder must have taken place. That usually wins the argument for me.

Be thankful that horrible scene predated cellphone cameras. Whoever committed that atrocity must have left that bathroom a quart low.

Oh, and gently caress you, OP. How am I supposed to uphold the Patriarchy, if I sit down to pee?

you missed an opportunity to make it so that only women have to clean the women's bathroom


you won the argument, but you lost the war

you irl
Jan 22, 2014
once i walked into the office bathroom and there was a guy at the urinal. w/e i'll just use the stall. its a handicap stall and the stall door is open so i push it and walk right in, and there's a guy standing like 4 feet away from the toilet with his dick out grinning like a motherfucker, spraying piss in a big arc into the toilet.

first thought: who doesn't close the loving door while long-distance pissing?
second thought: 4 feet? what is this, amateur hour?

Creamfilled
May 11, 2007

???
I do all my peeing in the shower for the ultimate in clean, no mess pissing

Chris Awful
Oct 2, 2005

Tell your friends they don't have to be scared or hungry anymore comrades.
I don't get why men and women don't just urinate outside. Urinating in a toilet is a waste of water.

Bread Set Jettison
Jan 8, 2009

i pee standing up all over your things OP

ziasquinn
Jan 1, 2006

Fallen Rib
Careful about sitting or bendyman will get your butt

Unless you kill you're family

Zzulu
May 15, 2009

(▰˘v˘▰)
i pee within myself so I don't have to pee without

Fishy Joe
Apr 19, 2005
Eat at Fishy Joe's
sometimes I pee on my balls what should I do about that op

Bread Set Jettison
Jan 8, 2009

Fishy Joe posted:

sometimes I pee on my balls what should I do about that op

grow a bigger dick

Robo Reagan
Feb 12, 2012

by Fluffdaddy
a lot of toilets sucks because if you're not careful your dick will touch the porcelain inside the bowl and that's gross

you irl
Jan 22, 2014

Robo Reagan posted:

a lot of toilets sucks because if you're not careful your dick will touch the porcelain inside the bowl and that's gross

sometimes when i'm feeling naughty i'll push my urethra against the porcelain underside of the rim

ziasquinn
Jan 1, 2006

Fallen Rib
The funny thing is the only reason the front of the porcelain would be "gross" is from other men's dicks touching it

Fister Ardennes
Apr 25, 2008

War is not the answer but it sure is fun

Your Dead Gay Son posted:

The funny thing is the only reason the front of the porcelain would be "gross" is from other men's dicks touching it
Or you know, diarrhea.

plain blue jacket
Jan 13, 2014

IT DOESN'T STOP
IT NEVER STOPS
How am I supposed to piss on a piss bottom sitting down??

newreply.php
Dec 24, 2009

Pillbug
if you pee while sitting down a few ml will always be stuck in your urethra until you stand up and put your boxers on which will then be soiled just a little

now your gross dick gets to sit in that hot cotton/acryl/piss mix until the next time you take a leak and add some fresh piss

should you ever trick a lady into taking off your boxers to gain access to your penis her face will be closer to your dick than yours is on a day to day basis and she might refuse to touch it, let alone put it in her mouth

ziasquinn
Jan 1, 2006

Fallen Rib
That's why you shake brah

Fishy Joe
Apr 19, 2005
Eat at Fishy Joe's

Bread Set Jettison posted:

grow a bigger dick

:vince:

Robo Reagan
Feb 12, 2012

by Fluffdaddy

Your Dead Gay Son posted:

The funny thing is the only reason the front of the porcelain would be "gross" is from other men's dicks touching it

splashback from the constant stream of turds and piss are also contributors to the "gross" factor

Iamblikhos
Jun 9, 2013

IRONKNUCKLE PERMA-BANNED! CHALLENGES LIBERALS TO 10-TOPIC POLITICAL DEBATE! READ HERE

Chris Awful posted:

I don't get why men and women don't just urinate outside. Urinating in a toilet is a waste of water.

i always defecate on my crops. anything else is a waste of fertilizer.

insaneway
Feb 10, 2014

I think when there's enough will and aggression, there's no shortage of talent either.
-Jurgen Klinsmann-
I used to be too fat to pee sitting down
Couldn't get my dick in the toilet

It feels so nice to sit down now

SniperWoreConverse
Mar 20, 2010



Gun Saliva

you irl posted:

sometimes when i'm feeling naughty i'll push my urethra against the porcelain underside of the rim

don't do it this is a good way to get a case of the water bears

10,000 of these dudes runnin wild all in your piss tract

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TdaM5Mv-TTo

you irl
Jan 22, 2014
extremophile tardigrades are about the only thing that can live in the vicinity of my toxic urethra

Liquid Chicken
Jan 25, 2005

GOOP
A real man has to piss standing up. Gotta mark one's territory.

you irl
Jan 22, 2014
another good reason to pee standing up is if an assailant busts into the bathroom you can turn and pee in their eye, temporarily blinding them and allowing you to protect your homestead

3 DONG HORSE
May 22, 2008

I'd like to thank Satan for everything he's done for this organization

OP do you have more than one urethra? That could explain your aiming problem

redshirt
Aug 11, 2007

Reporting for shovel mission Sir.

old dog child posted:

OP do you have more than one urethra? That could explain your aiming problem

How many are you supposed to have?

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Cannonballoon
Jul 25, 2007

redshirt posted:

How many are you supposed to have?

I had three last I checked

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