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Post your best tips here for when you've had a few too many drinks, but still need to give yourself a lift home/to get food/more booze. A good one I picked up from a buddy *Keep two fingers on your left hand on the turn signal, that way if you start to drift, it will turn on your turn signal, and you'll know you're starting to swerve off the road.
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Jun 21, 2014 02:07
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| # ? Apr 25, 2024 16:55 |
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If you find it hard to focus close one eye
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Jun 21, 2014 02:09
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Don't get pulled over but if you do just act like you were speeding
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Jun 21, 2014 02:10
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make it harder for the police to see you by turning off your headlights
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Jun 21, 2014 02:13
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park with style 
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Jun 21, 2014 02:17
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smoke a little meth before you get behind the wheel to compensate for inebriation
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Jun 21, 2014 02:17
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THS posted:smoke a little meth before you get behind the wheel to compensate for inebriation actually sound advice
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Jun 21, 2014 02:18
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Drunk drivers tend to crash into things they don't want to hit, so aim toward bridge abutments and school busses on purpose.
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Jun 21, 2014 02:18
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Jamb your thumb up your rear end in a top hat, the thrill will provoke a flight or fight response, flooding your system with adrenaline.
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Jun 21, 2014 02:18
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sniff a little bumpsky and turn on NPR, realtalk
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Jun 21, 2014 02:21
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turn the music up really loud and sing along if you run into a checkpoint just turn around, cops are lazy and probably wont bother to chase you
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Jun 21, 2014 02:21
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Don't gently caress around with anything: Just drive. No radio, no smoking, no phone, nothing. Just drive. It works OP.
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Jun 21, 2014 02:23
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1. Don't
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Jun 21, 2014 02:25
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*Roll down all your windows and crank up your heater, the combination of the two sensations will keep you awake and alert.
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Jun 21, 2014 02:25
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Use your cruise control, even on suburban streets. Speed limit 35? Lock it in, with Cruise Control. Which was invented, by the way, to help drunk drivers.
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Jun 21, 2014 02:27
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After you reach your destination, make sure to check the grill for any animals or small children.
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Jun 21, 2014 02:28
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drive real fast that way the cops have less time to find you
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Jun 21, 2014 02:29
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*Avoid main streets and school zones, where cops often patrol at night, instead try to take side streets parallel to the street you would normally use, because careful though, it's easy to get lost when you're a little wasted!
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Jun 21, 2014 02:32
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put both your hands in the air, close your eyes, and let jesus take the wheel
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Jun 21, 2014 02:37
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Park a couple of blocks away from the bar - that way any cop staking it out won't see you drive away.
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Jun 21, 2014 02:39
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if you are pulled over just dont roll down your window, you cant be arrested if you dont answer any questions
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Jun 21, 2014 02:40
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if youre in a convertible just act like you cant hear the officer
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Jun 21, 2014 02:41
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ask the police officer for his business card and explain that you are a freeman on the land
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Jun 21, 2014 02:41
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drive with thumbs up, keep left thumb on the white line and right thumb on the center line, stay in lane. also don't do this.
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Jun 21, 2014 02:42
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spengler posted:drive with thumbs up, keep left thumb on the white line and right thumb on the center line, stay in lane. well i'm not sure if he did the thumbs thing but everything else is right
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Jun 21, 2014 02:44
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Keep Listerine breath mints stocked in your "drunkmobile". Also, make sure it's properly inspected and registered. Think about skipping the vanity plate that says "Bzz-d" and go with the generic offering. When buying a new or used car, choose a dark, plain color rather than anything bright or flashy. Use a radar detector. Read the local news for information about roadblocks.
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Jun 21, 2014 02:44
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*If you see a cop car tailing you, immediately pull over to the side of the road and turn off your car, the officer can't arrest you for being drunk in a shut off vehicle.
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Jun 21, 2014 02:45
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explain to the officer that you are a sovereign citizen
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Jun 21, 2014 02:45
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Uranium 235 posted:ask the police officer for his business card and explain that you are a freeman on the land haha i just looked this up and didnt realize this was a thing like sovereign citizen
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Jun 21, 2014 02:48
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If you hit something or someone for gods sake don't stop.
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Jun 21, 2014 02:49
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keep your hands rested on your thighs holding the bottom of the steering wheel to prefent from swerving
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Jun 21, 2014 02:51
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Try and pick better times to drive drunk. For example, no one really expects you to be wasted on Sunday morning at 10AM.
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Jun 21, 2014 02:54
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Nacho Destroyer posted:*If you see a cop car tailing you, immediately pull over to the side of the road and turn off your car, the officer can't arrest you for being drunk in a shut off vehicle. This is not at all suspicious.
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Jun 21, 2014 03:05
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redshirt posted:Try and pick better times to drive drunk. *Other than your friends and family.
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Jun 21, 2014 03:09
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Nacho Destroyer posted:*If you see a cop car tailing you, immediately pull over to the side of the road and turn off your car, the officer can't arrest you for being drunk in a shut off vehicle. this might work in the sense that you will still be arrested but if you have an incredible lawyer you have a 50/50 chance of getting off
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Jun 21, 2014 03:10
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Here's a good one: Literally follow all the rules of the road. Speed limits, complete stops, blinkers, etc.
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Jun 21, 2014 03:12
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Crash early, crash often.
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Jun 21, 2014 03:14
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*Hold in a rank fart while you're driving, that way if you get pulled over, you can let it rip and the smell will be so bad it will not only cover up the booze on your breath, it will make the cop want to let you go with a warning, so he can get out of there!
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Jun 21, 2014 03:15
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Be a police officer yourself
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Jun 21, 2014 03:17
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| # ? Apr 25, 2024 16:55 |
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wear a ski mask so the cops wont know who you are
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Jun 21, 2014 03:17
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