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Well, folks, its happened again: you've outlived yet another television show. Did it live up to your expectations? Do you feel fulfilled, having followed it to its conclusion? Of course not. Like life itself, the quality of a television show declines with age. The energetic fresh faced youth invariably becomes a slow, tired and confused mess. When we can no longer enjoy the bounties of life, we retreat into our memories of the past. So, too, is it for television. While you watched True Blood go through its final deathrattle tonight, hopefully you took a moment to fondly remember the good times. Rest in Peace old friend. ------------------------------------  BILL'S DEAD TARA'S DEAD.. FOR REAL THIS TIME! ERIC'S ALIVE NO MORE WEREWOLVES True Blood is back for its ten episode final season. What happened last season? What's going on this season? Who are all these new characters? How the gently caress should I know? I'm just here to watch beautiful people have sex with mythical creatures, plot lines to be resolved in stupid and abrupt ways and Jason Stackhouse.  quote:You know, this show has to stop teasing me with constant male on male action, and constant shirtless men with ripped abs, and constant male rear end cheeks ……….When am I finally going to get to see some full frontal male nudity? All I am asking for is a nice penis every once in a while on screen, and of course it would only be acceptable if it was in a scene with two men…….is that too much to ask?     Why? Because why not? Episode 2 Recap  Episode 3 Recap NAMASTE Episode 4 Recap  Episode 5 Recap Sarah Palin posted:"Nice try HBO. I’d put any mama grizzly in America against a vampire any day; for only one of them actually exists." Episode 6 Recap  SPOILER ALERT  Episode 7 Recap For what it's worth, when I was your age, I used to gently caress my brother, too. Alot.  Episode 8 Recap RIP Violet. (nsfw) Episode 9 Recap Jason doesn't have sex with a woman. Episode 10 Recap 
Irish Joe fucked around with this message at 12:50 on Aug 25, 2014 |
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Jun 26, 2014 03:05
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I found the first episode really terrible even by true blood standards. An off camera death for a major character? Really?
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Jun 26, 2014 04:19
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Wow... this thread his is hardly getting any attention. I guess people don't care about True Blood anymore? I'm not sure I care either. I've seen every episode in the series so far, but I'm not sure if I'll make it to the end.
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Jun 26, 2014 05:14
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Maximusi posted:I found the first episode really terrible even by true blood standards. An off camera death for a major character? Really? Here's how little attention I paid to this week's episode... I completely forgot which character you even meant, and had to strain my mind to remember. She was fine one minute and then the next she's a puddle, and then the show just went on. Then nothing else I gave a poo poo about happened. It's funny that the last half of the last episode of last season was a big, disappointing pile of poo poo compared to an overall decent season, and this entire first episode is like the second half of that episode. I've got a bad feeling, guys. edit: Also this, from the AV Club, blew my mind just now... quote:James, formerly played by Luke Grimes, is now being played by Nathan Parsons (Bunheads, The Originals). It took me at least halfway through this premiere to realize he wasn’t playing an entirely new character. I had no idea that Jessica's new boyfriend was played by a completely different guy. I didn't even notice, at all. Wow. King Vidiot fucked around with this message at 05:36 on Jun 26, 2014 |
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Jun 26, 2014 05:27
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The lack of Eric in this episode made it a snooze. The problem is that they're still trying to pick up where they left off instead of time jumping forward to showcase the aftermath and getting things "exciting" again. Really bummed Tara got such a lovely send off, especially with all of the poo poo she's gone through in the series. Let them grieve a bit.
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Jun 26, 2014 06:03
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Irish Joe posted:What happened last season? What's going on this season? Who are all these new characters? How the gently caress should I know? I'm just here to watch beautiful people have sex with mythical creatures, plot lines to be resolved in stupid and abrupt ways and Jason Stackhouse. I knew you were cool, Irish Joe. My household basically spent the opening going "wait did they just kill off a major character OFFSCREEN IN TWO MINUTES?" and then realized "Wait, we wanted them to unleash the crazy for a final season, that's a pretty good way to do it".
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Jun 26, 2014 10:03
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I was hella excited about this but killing Tara off-screen like that is just pure horseshit and pretty much soured me on the episode. Did the actress quit or something? Besides the fight scene (which could've been done by a double) she wasn't even in the episode at all. The rest of the episode was weak as hell anyway, so whatever.  at Sookie walking alone through the woods immediately after an AIDS-vampire attack.
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Jun 26, 2014 12:13
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Krowley posted:
I'm pretty sure that the writers all sat down and have a 'How can we make Sookie act even dumber' meeting. It was probably an all nighter, but they pulled it off. Speaking of which, why does literally the entire town blame Sookie for vampires existing? Is there some event that I'm forgetting about where Sookie saved all the vampires everywhere and/or is responsible for spreading vampire-aids?
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Jun 26, 2014 12:23
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counterfeitsaint posted:I'm pretty sure that the writers all sat down and have a 'How can we make Sookie act even dumber' meeting. It was probably an all nighter, but they pulled it off. Speaking of which, why does literally the entire town blame Sookie for vampires existing? Is there some event that I'm forgetting about where Sookie saved all the vampires everywhere and/or is responsible for spreading vampire-aids? Bon Temps has been watching Game of Thrones and believe Sookie is Khaleesi, Mother of Vampires, Queen of Fairies and First of Her Name.
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Jun 26, 2014 12:32
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I didn't mind Tara dying, just that they didn't show it. I do hope they kill Alcide off. I don't understand how his character went from hating Sookie to dating her. I'm sure he will die saving Sookie from her own stupidity (ie walking home by herself). From the episode synopsis of the next two episodes, I'm pretty sure Pam finds Eric by the end of episode 2 as he is definitely in episode 3. I think this show is still worth watching just for the sake of Jason Stackhouse and Eric Northman.
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Jun 26, 2014 13:39
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My bet is that Tara's off screen death probably means that her mom staked her while she was fighting that other infected vampire and the writers just don't want us to know that yet.
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Jun 26, 2014 15:25
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DecentHairJelly posted:My bet is that Tara's off screen death probably means that her mom staked her while she was fighting that other infected vampire and the writers just don't want us to know that yet. Equally plausible is that Tara and a Vampburger With Extra AIDS got into a fast vampire fight and Tara killed the vamp and did that fast-running-away thing. Which makes absolutely no sense, so I could see them going with that.
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Jun 26, 2014 16:15
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It's almost like everyone forgot that Tara's cousin can see and talk to ghosts. I'm sure we'll all be seeing her again.
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Jun 26, 2014 16:19
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I wonder if Lafayette's dead boyfriend is still hanging around, watching him poop or whatever it is that ghosts do all day.
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Jun 26, 2014 16:30
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I am guessing that Tara isn't dead since right before the episode her actress said that "people who die in Bon Temps tend to not stay dead" or something like that. If she is dead, it is pretty bad writing. My fiance and I were banking on her mom being a carrier for vamp AIDS.
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Jun 26, 2014 17:31
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So am I missing something, or are Hep V vampires just like slightly more evil vampires? Or just season 2 vampires.
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Jun 26, 2014 18:37
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Harry posted:So am I missing something, or are Hep V vampires just like slightly more evil vampires? Or just season 2 vampires. Nah, they're totally different. They have no regard for life and a never ending thirst for human blood! While regular vampires have... no regard for life and a never ending thirst for human blood.
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Jun 26, 2014 19:12
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Why couldn't they introduce another stupid mythical creature like the fairy vampire? While stupid, it was immensely more fun than...zombies.
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Jun 26, 2014 19:35
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Maximusi posted:Why couldn't they introduce another stupid mythical creature like the fairy vampire? While stupid, it was immensely more fun than...zombies. They did introduce a fairy vampire last season.
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Jun 26, 2014 20:00
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pigdog posted:They did introduce a fairy vampire last season. Maximusi posted:Why couldn't they introduce another stupid mythical creature like the fairy vampire? While stupid, it was immensely more fun than...zombies.
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Jun 26, 2014 20:30
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Eh, that's... more or less what I said.  Anyhow, this season sucks, all the humans are idiots, newest villain is worst yet. Even Sookie's tits are saggy.
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Jun 26, 2014 20:33
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How many of Sookie's awful speeches about the awfulness of being a telepath do we have to sit through? We get it Sook, it's an awful burden, yada yada yada, but seriously put a sock in it.
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Jun 26, 2014 20:39
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Harry posted:So am I missing something, or are Hep V vampires just like slightly more evil vampires? Or just season 2 vampires. Hep V vampires are basically vampires with like ~2 days to live once they get infected. Since Burrell corrupted the entire True Blood supply and it can be passed through any real (blood/sexual) contact with humans (who are now mostly infected with it, it seems), poo poo is hosed for vampires in general.
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Jun 26, 2014 21:09
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Even when True Blood was bad bad, not so-bad-it's-good bad, actually bad bad, I always got some enjoyment out of it. I think that was the first episode that I found truly awful. Then again, I guess the quality of an episode has always been directly proportional to the amount of Eric it contains. I think Jason Stackhouse said something about the apocalypse that almost made me smile, and Pam played Russian Roulette I guess.
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Jun 26, 2014 21:47
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This episode was terrible. I thought I missed Tara's death because I was distracted, but nope! We've also heard Sookie's speech before so she can just shut the hell up. Alcide best be getting some nude scenes cause that's what I'm here for. That cop with the funny accent also deserved better.
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Jun 26, 2014 23:40
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I still find it really weird that Bill is just back to normal now.
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Jun 27, 2014 00:08
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Also who the gently caress is Vince? He didn't even exist as a character on the series prior to this episode, but we've got the main cast referring to him by his first name and he's getting screen time as if he's someone we should know. I even went and checked iMDb because I thought that somehow I'd just forgotten this character. But nope, never existed until this episode, along with a group of other people I'd never heard of who were all up in arms about vampires.
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Jun 27, 2014 00:25
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That poo poo was loving awful.
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Jun 27, 2014 00:30
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King Vidiot posted:Also who the gently caress is Vince? He didn't even exist as a character on the series prior to this episode, but we've got the main cast referring to him by his first name and he's getting screen time as if he's someone we should know. Also you should be reading the io9 recaps because they have consistently been the best part of True Blood.
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Jun 27, 2014 00:40
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Magic Mango posted:How many of Sookie's awful speeches about the awfulness of being a telepath do we have to sit through? We get it Sook, it's an awful burden, yada yada yada, but seriously put a sock in it. Now you know what it's like being a telepath, having to hear people's stupid thoughts all the time when you don't want to. 
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Jun 27, 2014 01:42
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Tiggum posted:Now you know what it's like being a telepath, having to hear people's stupid thoughts
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Jun 27, 2014 03:31
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FFWD Boobs PAUSE FFWD Boobs PAUSE FFWD FFWD FFWD Credits DELETE
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Jun 27, 2014 04:10
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So there is this story going around that the reason they recast the vampire James is because the actor who was playing him didn't want to "play gay" since apparently they are gonna start playing up him with Lafayette. http://www.gay.net/tv/2014/06/26/luke-grimes-left-true-blood-because-he-didnt-want-play-gay For the most part I think an actor has the right to decide what they are comfortable playing, but a part of me thinks you can't really take a role on True Blood and then get all pissy if gay stuff happens.
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Jun 27, 2014 05:17
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If you're a supernatural character on True Blood you have to understand that while its almost assured you'll gently caress someone if you're a regular, it's a fifty fifty on if it's gay or not.
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Jun 27, 2014 05:20
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They had promised the dude that his character is there to make out with Jessica, which was like a no-brainer to sign up for. Imagine the disappointment.
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Jun 27, 2014 08:36
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pigdog posted:They had promised the dude that his character is there to make out with Jessica, which was like a no-brainer to sign up for. Imagine the disappointment. Disappointing, but it's still a paycheck and a decent gig. I think it's a dumb reason to leave.
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Jun 27, 2014 12:19
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Every Lafayette boyfriend has been beyond terrible so he really is doing us all a favor.
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Jun 27, 2014 16:45
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Is still considered gay-for-pay if its on a mainstream HBO show?
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Jun 27, 2014 17:38
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Solice Kirsk posted:Is still considered gay-for-pay if its on a mainstream HBO show?
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Jun 27, 2014 17:51
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The scene where Jason finally banged countess chocula was incredibly terrible, but pretty much in line with how awful the whole episode/series is.
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Jun 27, 2014 23:48
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