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My girlfriend aint cum. She aint cum wit me, she aint cum with nobody before me nor nobody else while wit me. I've made other ladies get there, I tried all the same poo poo with this lady, poo poo I aint done with no other lady...nothin'. So the other night I'm in town, we're goin full bore, gotta inflatable vibratin' analplug in'er, I'm down on her somethin' fierce right, like I done spelled the whole alphabet, finally got that little fucker pinned down with my tongue, really digging into it while my jaw muscles are about to give out and she's singin', feels like we're closer than we've ever been and  "BITE IT!" "Wh-..wha-" "BITE MY CLIT! BITE IT BITE IT!" So what was I to do except proceed to gnaw the everlivingshit out've that little love button. I started out just pushing into into my lip with teeth from one side but that aint do it, so now I'm chewing on my gf's butter bean and, well...I guess you fine upstanding gibbis posters can probably infer the rest. Namaste.
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Jun 26, 2014 05:50
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Jun 26, 2014 05:56
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how long did it take to properly digest the clitoris op
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Jun 26, 2014 05:58
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I don't think you have a gf op
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Jun 26, 2014 05:59
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treat my clit like bubble gum please make me cum
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Jun 26, 2014 05:59
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i'm just glad the alphabet trick is widely known because that's a good one when trying to figure out a new vagina
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Jun 26, 2014 05:59
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Bishop posted:i'm just glad the alphabet trick is widely known because that's a good one when trying to figure out a new vagina erverytime i have to figure out a new vagina i usually just kidding im a virgin
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Jun 26, 2014 06:00
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thought there was a forums going down joke in here somewhere guess not
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Jun 26, 2014 06:00
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an inflatable vibrating anal plug is a pretty impressive technological achievement if you think about it and if it really exists
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Jun 26, 2014 06:03
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smash mouth eat the clit
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Jun 26, 2014 06:05
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Chevalier Cat posted:smash mouth eat the clit
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Jun 26, 2014 06:08
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zzzzz
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Jun 26, 2014 06:09
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seriously though ladygoons i'm curious just how prevalent the desire to have your magic bean chewed on is
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Jun 26, 2014 07:13
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mmmmm
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Jun 26, 2014 07:20
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Oh hel yae
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Jun 26, 2014 07:52
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The Protagonist posted:seriously though ladygoons i'm curious just how prevalent the desire to have your magic bean chewed on is don't ever do that
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Jun 26, 2014 07:54
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ChairmanMeow posted:don't ever do that yeah i thought this too but...
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Jun 26, 2014 08:00
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If you're having trouble getting into it, just think about all the dicks that been in there.
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Jun 26, 2014 08:03
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sounds like your dick isn't big enough op, just lemme know if you need to me to cuck you
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Jun 26, 2014 08:05
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OP - buy your girlfriend an account. Serious post.
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Jun 26, 2014 08:37
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when chicks ask you to do crazy poo poo like that in order for them to get off, you know that they're broken beyond any hope and you should get out immediately
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Jun 26, 2014 08:40
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The Protagonist posted:seriously though ladygoons i'm curious just how prevalent the desire to have your magic bean chewed on is Bout the same as the preference of penis owners for teeth I'd say
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Jun 26, 2014 08:42
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Loop rubber bands around my genitals and blow powdered glass at them through a straw. (until I cum)
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Jun 26, 2014 08:48
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The Protagonist posted:seriously though ladygoons i'm curious just how prevalent the desire to have your magic bean chewed on is This is a bad idea
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Jun 26, 2014 08:50
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Drunk & Ugly posted:treat my clit like bubble gum please make me cum 
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Jun 26, 2014 08:53
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This is a better version of the story ...
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Jun 26, 2014 09:04
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Ive done sex multiple times but Im still kinda confused what the clit is? Because people make it sound like its hard to find, so it cant be that thing thats always in the top corner so WHAT IS IT
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Jun 26, 2014 09:35
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its a myth like the female orgasm
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Jun 26, 2014 09:37
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i bet you didnt go down on her as long as the forums went down on all of us
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Jun 26, 2014 09:37
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*cough* bullshit *cough*
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Jun 26, 2014 09:57
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I hope she reciprocated in kind.
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Jun 26, 2014 10:03
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once you pop you can't stop
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Jun 26, 2014 10:12
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I guess theres some room for a joke about female circumsision here but I'm not going to make it.
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Jun 26, 2014 11:22
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Maybe you should make her feel super bad that she's not getting off from your SUPER AMAZING ORAL. That's really the problem, lets be honest is that she's not as good a liar as all the other girls you've dated. Also, no matter what she says, stay down there until she cums, you're better than all those other men. Get that poo poo done son. If she does't cum from oral your penis will shrink.
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Jun 26, 2014 11:40
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If you replace "Girlfriend" with "Kitchen" and "Clitoris"/"Clit"/Whatever with "disgusting amounts of cake", it all makes sense!
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Jun 26, 2014 11:52
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I was going down on a girl and found a black sesame seed down there once. It tasted terrible
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Jun 26, 2014 12:09
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I've been posting in 3 threads about vaginas and I've decided based on those threads that I hate all men. I'm not a lesbian, I just think men are terrible.
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Jun 26, 2014 12:19
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Archer666 posted:If you replace "Girlfriend" with "Kitchen" and "Clitoris"/"Clit"/Whatever with "disgusting amounts of cake", it all makes sense!  "My kitchen aint cum."
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Jun 26, 2014 12:19
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And then you woke up
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Jun 26, 2014 12:26
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Thanks guys, I was worried I was just drunk.
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Jun 26, 2014 12:26
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