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nullscan
May 28, 2004

TO BE A BOSS YOU MUST HAVE HONOR! HONOR AND A PENIS!

nullscan posted:

I've got a new one for yall.

Two weekends ago Usfk went dry for a weekend, GO1 as a stand down to think about all the assholes loving it up.

Apparently since you couldn't buy booze anywhere, and three days was too long to go sober for a comm troop (CST helpdesker), a group of geniuses decided to go robotrippin. Bought 4 bottles of robotussin and Gatorade, proceeded to party.

Well apparently they made it known, so Monday morning word gets back to leadership and everyone rolls over except the one legitimate alcoholic who instigated it. He keeps denying his problem despite many "If you volunteer to go to ADAPT it won't be as bad" warnings. He somehow thought no one has any proof.

So guess what, commanders can apparently pull your purchasing history from DECCA.

He's slated for happy fun Correctional Custody ADAPT at Yongsan now. With typical USFK kneejerking I'm waiting for robotussin to be off limits.

Fly High.

Apparently

nullscan fucked around with this message at 11:23 on Jul 1, 2014

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Larry Parrish
Jul 9, 2012

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tGKJAKx979I

pray for iraq 3

Casimir Radon
Aug 2, 2008


My new trainees have confirmed to me that the kind of people who volunteer to be Rape Ropes are exactly the kind of people you think they are.

Larry Parrish
Jul 9, 2012

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
every tealrope i met was a creepy gently caress, and they went to the strip club every weekend, which wasn't that bad on its own if they weren't awkward spergs. the least spergy people at keelser who would have actually done an OK job, of course, either weren't there long enough to be one or were creeped out by the existing ones too much

OMFG PTSD LOL PBUH
Sep 9, 2001

Larry Parrish posted:

every tealrope i met was a creepy gently caress, and they went to the strip club every weekend, which wasn't that bad on its own if they weren't awkward spergs. the least spergy people at keelser who would have actually done an OK job, of course, either weren't there long enough to be one or were creeped out by the existing ones too much

The Air Force wasn't always horrible.

It's worth noting that.

Godholio
Aug 28, 2002

Does a bear split in the woods near Zheleznogorsk?

Larry Parrish posted:

pray for iraq 3

Operation EXTENDED WARRANTY

Helldump Immunity.
Aug 2, 2013

Fuck you
Papa needs some of that sweet defense contractor money again. Here's hoping :)

pkells
Sep 14, 2007

King of Klatch

Casimir Radon posted:

My new trainees have confirmed to me that the kind of people who volunteer to be Rape Ropes are exactly the kind of people you think they are.

You mean the type who creepily hits on high school girls, and then just happens to start dating one on the day she turns 18, and then proposes to her 3 months later, after calling back to Mississippi to make sure that the watch he bought on a payment plan from the Gulfport Mall was paid off so he could afford a ring? Cause that's the only teal rope I've known.

quantumfoam
Dec 25, 2003

pkells posted:

You mean the type who creepily hits on high school girls, and then just happens to start dating one on the day she turns 18, and then proposes to her 3 months later, after calling back to Mississippi to make sure that the watch he bought on a payment plan from the Gulfport Mall was paid off so he could afford a ring? Cause that's the only teal rope I've known.

barracks roommate, i guess?

pkells
Sep 14, 2007

King of Klatch

tuluk posted:

barracks roommate, i guess?

Nah, just a new airman that got to my shop about 6 months before I got out. Stereotypical idiot junior enlisted. He's my go-to story when I try to explain to non-mil friends how dumb most of the military is.

quantumfoam
Dec 25, 2003

nice.
I'd make a Lt Col Jeffrey Sinclair leadership joke, but he's US Army.

my go-to "morons in the military" story is a guy who almost lost all his fingers due to frostbite at Fort Drum(cold weather training).

Cenen
Apr 7, 2011
We had a guy in my tech school class who used to robotrip almost constantly outside of class. I don't know if he had someone else buying for him but the amount of Robotusin he would buy on his own should have tripped some flags but somehow didn't. I remember one night he was obviously high as gently caress walking down the halls with his headphones on jammin to some Nirvana and he's just kind of strutting and flailing and jamming when he suddenly swings his head into the cinder block wall and drops like a sack of potatoes. I look down both ends of the hall and don't see anyone else so I book it the gently caress back to my room. The next day he asked me if he hit his head and passed out and I said "yes" he then asked if I just left him there and didn't tell anyone and I said "yes". He just nods his head at me and says "hardcore man".

It was also funny in that he always had the cops and the K9s in his room and they'd be screaming "WHERE'S THE DRUGS" at him while kicking over, stepping on, and throwing around the piles of Robotusin packages he left around his room.

Dude got kicked out of the Air Force after passing the end of course test and starting his out processing infront of the whole class. I guess he had like 6 LORs in a four month period.

Cenen fucked around with this message at 02:04 on Jul 2, 2014

pkells
Sep 14, 2007

King of Klatch

tuluk posted:

nice.
I'd make a Lt Col Jeffrey Sinclair leadership joke, but he's US Army.


We've got a better Lt Col story:

Air Force Officer In Charge Of Sexual Assault Prevention Program, Arrested For Alleged Sexual Assault

My favorite idiot tech school story was the pair of guys, just about done with airfield systems tech school, who decided it would be a good idea to get drunk and walk around the dorm area at Keesler with their cocks hanging out of their pants. During the AF birthday celebration. With just about every MTL and important person on base walking around. They got off pretty light though- got recycled back to block 1 of 12 and had to repeat training.

Godholio
Aug 28, 2002

Does a bear split in the woods near Zheleznogorsk?

Cenen posted:

I guess he had like 6 LORs in a four month period.

That's not too hard. A couple of missed appointments, show up late to work, fall asleep in the shitter, gently caress up your CDCs, etc.

xaarman
Mar 12, 2003

IRONKNUCKLE PERMABANNED! READ HERE

This is the worst part of the USAF:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/07/18/jeffrey-krusinski-charge-dropped_n_3618658.html

Guilty until proven guiltier. Every SAPR brief had him plastered all over about the "problem within."

It's disgusting.

Cenen
Apr 7, 2011
Well that and he openly talked backed to the instructors and the MTLs. We got told what sealed the deal was after he passed the EOC test he told some MTL he couldn't do anything to him since he was going to be leaving in about 5 days. Later got told by one of the NCOs in the class that there was probably no way they would have let him go anyway but that was just the icing on the cake.

Mud Shark
May 12, 2012

Cenen posted:

Well that and he openly talked backed to the instructors and the MTLs. We got told what sealed the deal was after he passed the EOC test he told some MTL he couldn't do anything to him since he was going to be leaving in about 5 days. Later got told by one of the NCOs in the class that there was probably no way they would have let him go anyway but that was just the icing on the cake.

HAHAHAHA SEE YOU LATER SHITLORDS

*drops the mic*

Cojawfee
May 31, 2006
I think the US is dumb for not using Celsius

Mud Shark posted:

HAHAHAHA SEE YOU LATER SHITLORDS

*drops the mic*

At least he didn't graduate tech school and then not tell the MTLs about it for a week until he's discovered still living in the dorms. That guy later got kicked out for failure to adapt.

Mud Shark
May 12, 2012

Cojawfee posted:

At least he didn't graduate tech school and then not tell the MTLs about it for a week until he's discovered still living in the dorms. That guy later got kicked out for failure to adapt.

Maybe he hadn't gotten married yet and didn't want to miss the golden opportunity.

bloops
Dec 31, 2010

Thanks Ape Pussy!

tuluk posted:

nice.
I'd make a Lt Col Jeffrey Sinclair leadership joke, but he's US Army.

my go-to "morons in the military" story is a guy who almost lost all his fingers due to frostbite at Fort Drum(cold weather training).

How the hell do you manage that? I don't know how cold weather survival school is handled in the army but in the AF is just a camping trip with duty hours.

Godholio
Aug 28, 2002

Does a bear split in the woods near Zheleznogorsk?
^ I know a guy who got 7 IVs during plain-Jane SV-80 SERE. He cried in the commandant's office and didn't get washed out. He also almost started a fire by using tupperware in the E-3 oven ("It says its microwave safe!"), got commander downgraded for almost putting two airplanes together, and finally got RIF'd after drawing his M9 during a disagreement with a SNCO in the desert.

Former AWACS wing commander getting nominated for a 4th star and PACAF/CC. She was a good one.

Godholio fucked around with this message at 02:32 on Jul 3, 2014

quantumfoam
Dec 25, 2003

holocaust bloopers posted:

How the hell do you manage that? I don't know how cold weather survival school is handled in the army but in the AF is just a camping trip with duty hours.


We were reservist infantry marines not army so that's 50% of the stupidity accounted for.
My unit was doing our cold weather 2 weeks-a-year active duty training at fort drum in 1997, and had been out in the field for 2 days in -10 degree weather when the event happened.
the dude this happened to was one of the first marines who went through the "crucible" in boot camp that joined our platoon. He was a cocky moron who didn't listen to anyone because of his "crucible" experience and hadn't gone to his MOS school yet(SOI/school of infantry).

the dumbass in question was also the stove bitch for his fireteam(3-4 people, 1/3 of a full squad), and spilled -10 degree cold fuel all over his fireteams tent, sleeping bags, his clothes, and his gloves. Cold weather training & gear loadout means you wear a few set of gloves and swapped out gloves whenever they got wet, and/or borrowed a dry pair if needed.

Dumbass didn't tell anyone every single loving pair of gloves he had were soaked with fuel until the squad corpsman noticed his hands were shaking & the frostbite had set in. Dumbass got medivaced out and his squad leader & fire team leader got court martialed over the event.

It ended with the dumbass needing skingrafts and being out on medical leave for 2 yrs while he healed/tried to sue the unit & his squad leadership. When he came back/everything blew over, he was assigned to another platoon, but still hadn't done his SOI training.

quantumfoam fucked around with this message at 02:10 on Jul 3, 2014

iyaayas01
Feb 19, 2010

Perry'd

Godholio posted:

Former AWACS wing commander getting nominated for a 4th star and PACAF/CC. She was a good one.

Pretty stoked to hear she's on to bigger and better things.

Probably the only ABM I want to see be successful.

Godholio
Aug 28, 2002

Does a bear split in the woods near Zheleznogorsk?
That's probably because she has about as many hours on the jet as I do. She's definitely a career officer vs a career ABM. Great OG and WG/CC though. I hope she keeps climbing.

Helldump Immunity.
Aug 2, 2013

Fuck you

iyaayas01 posted:



Probably the only ABM I want to see be successful.

Rekinom
Jan 26, 2006

~ shady midair gas hustler ~

~ good hair ~

~ colt 45 ~

Godholio posted:

That's probably because she has about as many hours on the jet as I do. She's definitely a career officer vs a career ABM. Great OG and WG/CC though. I hope she keeps climbing.

A careerist ABM sounds like one of the worst possible choices to lead a command like PACAF. I'm sure she will command great respect from the PLAAF's top general after mentioning her awesome PME essays and strats from being an general's exec.

Godholio
Aug 28, 2002

Does a bear split in the woods near Zheleznogorsk?
I hate to be in the position of defending a general and patch wearer, but she's good people. The only wing commander we had at Tinker that was actually honest, even when the news was bad. Damned smart, personable, an actual leader capable of motivating people...basically what every AF O-6 and above thinks they are.

Godholio fucked around with this message at 19:43 on Jul 3, 2014

OMFG PTSD LOL PBUH
Sep 9, 2001
I'm just gonna say it.

Having a woman lead a combatant command is the goddamned dumbest thing I've ever heard.

Are you loving kidding me.

Jesus loving christ.

She's gonna menstruate and ruin everything in that nice office they give her.

nullscan
May 28, 2004

TO BE A BOSS YOU MUST HAVE HONOR! HONOR AND A PENIS!

Anythings better than skeletor who helps majors get underground Turkish abortions.

xaarman
Mar 12, 2003

IRONKNUCKLE PERMABANNED! READ HERE
So... should I volunteer for a deployment?

y/n/maybe

iyaayas01
Feb 19, 2010

Perry'd

Godholio posted:

I hate to be in the position of defending a general and patch wearer, but she's good people. The only wing commander we had at Tinker that was actually honest, even when the news was bad. Damned smart, personable, an actual leader capable of motivating people...basically what every AF O-6 and above thinks they are.

She was like one of two people out of the 30+ that spoke to us at SOS who I actually gave a poo poo about listening to (the other one was Leo Thorsness).

xaarman posted:

So... should I volunteer for a deployment?

y/n/maybe

BAF maybe, KAF no, Kabul maybe depending on what you're doing, Afghan adviser trip gently caress NO, other Afghanistan location no unless it's MeS in which case sure, Deid/Dhafra/other Gulf bases I suppose, anywhere else sure, why not.

Lazy Reservist
Nov 30, 2005

FUBIJAR

xaarman posted:

So... should I volunteer for a deployment?

y/n/maybe No/Hell no/gently caress NO

xaarman
Mar 12, 2003

IRONKNUCKLE PERMABANNED! READ HERE
It would be flying the E-11A BACN out of Kandyland.

Pros:
~650 hours in 6 months
Global Express 6000 type rating ($$ on the outside)
Free Airline Transport Professional license because training is contracted out (~$4k on the outside)
I need more flight time to be competitive as a direct hire to the major airlines

Cons:
Deploying.
Kandahar.
Air Force 24/7

Although I hear deployments are getting better as we draw down, IE less Chiefs outside the chow hall.

Godholio
Aug 28, 2002

Does a bear split in the woods near Zheleznogorsk?
BACN seemed like a pretty sweet gig, honestly.

Edit: Bring a stack of books or load up an ereader. You're gonna spend about 600 of those hours using it.

whatspeakyou
Mar 3, 2010

no fucks given.
As if you didn't know what kind of fagAir Force you all are in (mostly) already, let me tell you of how our CC Call was going to go down today (before it got cancelled):

So there's a SrA in my office who is one of them squadron safety rep people. She was told to make a powerpoint slide for holiday/weekend safety. She spent 2 hours on it. She actually did a really good job. Covered Grill safety, sun burns, boating, the usual don't drink and/or rape people, etc. She sent it up to this 1LT who is apparently her new flight CC. He send it back down for corrections, and apparently he told her to remove all the photos of the people with sun burn because they were in their swim suits. That was deemed "inappropriate."


:psyduck:

whatspeakyou fucked around with this message at 02:54 on Jul 4, 2014

Hotel Kpro
Feb 24, 2011

owls don't go to school
Dinosaur Gum
I tried volunteering for a deployment and they told me no. Take it while you can.

Rekinom
Jan 26, 2006

~ shady midair gas hustler ~

~ good hair ~

~ colt 45 ~

xaarman posted:

It would be flying the E-11A BACN out of Kandyland.

Pros:
~650 hours in 6 months
Global Express 6000 type rating ($$ on the outside)
Free Airline Transport Professional license because training is contracted out (~$4k on the outside)
I need more flight time to be competitive as a direct hire to the major airlines

Cons:
Deploying.
Kandahar.
Air Force 24/7

Although I hear deployments are getting better as we draw down, IE less Chiefs outside the chow hall.

650 hrs in 6 months is ok I guess, but it's not going to really make a difference unless you are seriously low time when you get out. Like, if you were going to VSP and get out 3 months after the deployment and it put you at like 3000 hours, then yes, go do the deployment. But if you're not getting out for years and years, you'll probably get to 3000+ regardless, so you're just rushing for no reason. The type rating is pretty much only useful if you plan on doing corporate flying. Airlines won't really care that you have a GLEX type. The ATPL is nice, but then again I'm the kind of person who will pay 3k and just take a weekend checkride rather than go be deployed for 6 drat months to get it.

That said, if I lived in Enid, was single, had nothing better to do, and hadn't been deployed in like 1.5-2 years I'd probably just do it to bank the extra cash.

Godholio
Aug 28, 2002

Does a bear split in the woods near Zheleznogorsk?
I'd volunteer for a 365 to get out of Enid. I almost did it to get out of OKC.

Sax Offender
Sep 9, 2007

College Slice

Godholio posted:

BACN seemed like a pretty sweet gig, honestly.

Edit: Bring a stack of books or load up an ereader. You're gonna spend about 600 of those hours using it.

Flying in slow circles around the desert is great for hours and catching up on medical journals.

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Godholio
Aug 28, 2002

Does a bear split in the woods near Zheleznogorsk?
The reason I bought my Kindle was because it fit perfectly in the leg pocket.

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