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wilfredmerriweathr
Jul 11, 2005


I forgot to put gold bond on my nuts today before work and now I'm sweating it out for another 6 hours with some serious swamp crotch. My coworkers probably think I have ants in my pants as I can't stop adjusting my stickyass sack.

Post your favorite gold bond uses/swampass/crotch stories here

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VelociBacon
Dec 8, 2009

Hey, hey, you better get back out there. There's a few places on that 'bot that weren't ripped to shreds.

Just got some last week after another goon recommended it. How are you supposed to apply it without it going everywhere please help tia

wilfredmerriweathr
Jul 11, 2005


either stand naked over your toilet while you dip your nuts into a handful or do it with pants already on and standing in the bathtub. I prefer the latter method because then you get extra residual bond in your pants' crotch zone to soak up moisture all day long

otherwise your gf/partner will endlessly complain about the goldbond you leave on the floor/rug/whatever

VelociBacon
Dec 8, 2009

Hey, hey, you better get back out there. There's a few places on that 'bot that weren't ripped to shreds.

Is this a balls only product or is a goon supposed to apply this to rear end cracks also

Crow_Rodeo
Oct 3, 2007

Trust Me


Bond, Gold Bond.

wilfredmerriweathr
Jul 11, 2005


I only use it on balls and feet but feel free to apply to whatever part of your bod gets sweaty, crack included! It'll knock your swampass right out, and as a bonus if you fart after putting it on you'll generate a minty-smelling cloud! (this is conjecture I have not actually tried this)

might make your butthole tingly too if you put enough down there

NihilismNow
Aug 31, 2003

Chief Quality Inspector of Donner Kebab & Coffee Inc.


I do not recommend you invest in Gold bonds. Gold price still has a significant potential downside and gold bonds are not as a useful as physical gold for when SHTF. Maybe look into investment grade coins?

SirEvelynTremble
Dec 25, 2013

UNDEAD RACIAL CLEANSING

I think it's dangerous

Now you can't tell a paedophile in a nursery

psyopmonkey
Nov 15, 2008


Indeed.

I thought gold bond was an anti itch powder for old people.

Are you guys old people.

This crap is gross.

Doctor Dogballs
Apr 1, 2007

0.00 posts per day

VelociBacon posted:

Is this a balls only product or is a goon supposed to apply this to rear end cracks also
now here is a gentleman who'se name creatively combines two of every goon's favorite memÍs

Reginald Bathwater
Dec 19, 2009

MINE EYES CAN BUT WEEP AS THEY BEAR WITNESS TO THE MAJESTY... THE BFG 9000!


changed my life op. ball and rear end sweat is a serious problem for manly hunks of testosterone like me

100 HOGS AGREE
Oct 13, 2007

Alcohol...
It's the water of life.



Reginald Bathwater posted:

changed my life op. ball and rear end sweat is a serious problem for manly hunks of testosterone like me

When you say hunk of testosterone you actually mean pile of lard, right?

Reginald Bathwater
Dec 19, 2009

MINE EYES CAN BUT WEEP AS THEY BEAR WITNESS TO THE MAJESTY... THE BFG 9000!


obviously. i am posting on the something awful dot com forums

MOOBS!
Dec 10, 2013

malditos cerdos fascistas


wilfredmerriweathr posted:

either stand naked over your toilet while you dip your nuts into a handful or do it with pants already on and standing in the bathtub. I prefer the latter method because then you get extra residual bond in your pants' crotch zone to soak up moisture all day long

otherwise your gf/partner will endlessly complain about the goldbond you leave on the floor/rug/whatever

protip right here let that poo poo coat every surface of your sweaty genital coverings

question: is mentholated powder a joy only men can experience? taking a cold shower and turning my dick into a kool cigarette feels amazing but i bet it burns vaginas

The Science of Suck
Mar 17, 2009


Sorry op, sweaty balls are a condition of my continued employment here at urban outfitters

Skeleton King
Feb 19, 2011

I'll take another

MOOBS! posted:

protip right here let that poo poo coat every surface of your sweaty genital coverings

question: is mentholated powder a joy only men can experience? taking a cold shower and turning my dick into a kool cigarette feels amazing but i bet it burns vaginas

your av is really distracting

in a bad way

MOOBS!
Dec 10, 2013

malditos cerdos fascistas


Skeleton King posted:

your av is really distracting

in a bad way

if you cant look me in the eyes maybe you should grow up

Reginald Bathwater
Dec 19, 2009

MINE EYES CAN BUT WEEP AS THEY BEAR WITNESS TO THE MAJESTY... THE BFG 9000!


your headlights are on

Skeleton King
Feb 19, 2011

I'll take another

MOOBS! posted:

if you cant look me in the eyes maybe you should grow up

i cant im worried about getting stabbed

Athropos
May 4, 2004

Woofus T. Dog @UCBarkeley.edu


lol if you havent adblocked moobs avatar by now or just blocked him

Darth123123
Jan 26, 2006



you should see a doctor about your sweaty balls OP

amityville anus
Jan 30, 2010


deez nutz don't sweat because underpants are for suckers

grellgraxer
Nov 28, 2002

"I didn't fight a secret war in Nicaragua so you can walk these streets of freedom bad mouthing lady America, in your damn mirrored su

This product ameliorates swamp rear end better IMO:

http://www.antimonkeybutt.com

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warderenator
Nov 16, 2013



"Gold Bond is like a breath mint for your balls."

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