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Let's use a quote from Ozzy as a sort of guideline. "I couldn’t wait to get back home and tell all my mates: ‘There’s this incredible new thing. It’s American and it’s called pizza. It’s like bread, but it’s better than any bread you’ve tasted in your life.’ I even tried to recreate a New York pizza for Thelma once. I made some dough, then I got all these cans of beans and pilchards and olives and poo poo and put them on top-it must have been about 15 quid’s worth of gear-but after ten minutes it just came dribbling out of the oven. It was like someone had been sick in there. Thelma just looked at it and went, ‘I don’t think I like pizza, John.’ She never called me Ozzy, my first wife." So yeah, think of ways to make DIY food or tell stories about the gross goony poo poo you've eaten. Some ideas for example: Bake cheesecake, but make it with American cheese instead of cream cheese. Toast some white bread, squirt on a bunch of ketchup and throw some babybel cheese/ torn up pieces of bologna on it to make pizza. Mixing water with cream cheese as a substitute for milk for your cereal (I actually tried this, it didn't work with just mixing it around with a spoon. You might need a blender or something to make it even) Buy some burrito that's filled with fuckin' rice instead of actual food. Alright shoot.
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Jul 5, 2014 21:52
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| # ? Apr 26, 2024 13:08 |
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"bien cuit" or "well done"
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Jul 5, 2014 21:54
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Wail on it with your fists
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Jul 5, 2014 21:55
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Plant crack cocaine on it and then call the police
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Jul 5, 2014 21:56
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Tell it you love it and then the next day get caught eating other food
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Jul 5, 2014 21:57
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Introduce your food to anime
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Jul 5, 2014 21:57
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If you pooped in an oven, that would be pretty hosed up! Imagine if you had a cheesecake, but made out of real cheese. Just spitballing some ideas to work with.
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Jul 5, 2014 21:57
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put pineapple on pizza  put sriracha on anything 
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Jul 5, 2014 21:57
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make scrambled eggs dump a fistful of chili powder in them 
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Jul 5, 2014 22:01
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BLACKENED CREOLE HAMSTER 10 oz. generic canned jambalaya 3 lemons 6 oz. dark chocolate 8 oz. reconstituted vitriol 1 lb. cumin 1/2 pound finely crushed pistachio shells 7 ice cubes the phone number of the fire department (probably 911) Throw the lemons in the trash and eat the chocolate. Dump everything but the shells in a soft plastic bowl and microwave on high for three days. Sprinkle crushed shells on top. Let cool for 15 minutes and enjoy! Serves 4. Oh I forgot! You were supposed to kill and skin a hamster. Make sure you throw that in too.
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Jul 5, 2014 22:02
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ghlbtsk posted:BLACKENED CREOLE HAMSTER Haha. Twisted, my dude.
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Jul 5, 2014 22:07
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Xaris posted:put sriracha on
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Jul 5, 2014 22:09
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gently caress the food
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Jul 5, 2014 22:10
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 Mordja posted:gently caress the food
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Jul 5, 2014 22:12
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BLACKENED CREOLE RANCH HALIBUT 1 medium lime 12 oz. refenestrated halibut 1 lb. cumin 1 cu. yard Kentucky Bluegrass 1 small coconut 8 oz. Fancy Feast Grilled Ocean Whitefish in Gravy 3.5 oz. banana-skin/watermelon rind compost 4 ice cubes 1/2 tsp. industrial road salt Open the Fancy Feast and feed it to your cat in the garage to stop that loving whining already. Put the lime in the coconut and drink it all up. Combine halibut, compost, lawn and spices and mix until questionable. Pour into soft plastic bowl and bake at 2500 F for 45 seconds. Spray lightly with Halon extinguisher foam and enjoy! Serves ½.
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Jul 5, 2014 22:12
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put a turd on a ham sandwich
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Jul 5, 2014 22:13
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Butter your toast by wiping it on a superfat person's unwashed armpits
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Jul 5, 2014 22:18
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by putting pineapple on a pizza what sort of fuckup does that?
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Jul 5, 2014 22:24
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Have the OP's mother give birth to it
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Jul 5, 2014 22:25
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Put ketchup on a hot dog
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Jul 5, 2014 22:27
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Let's kick this up a notch. BAM! BLACKENED CREOLE BLACK BEAN BURGERS 4 McDonalds hamburgers (whole) ½ cup black beans (broken) 45 lbs. miniature peppermint sticks 8 Cadbury Crème Eggs 3 kebab skewers 1 lb. cumin 2 indignant bay leaves ¼ tsp. blueberry Schnapps 3 electronic cigarettes (minced) 1 Janusz Kaminski 1 large plastic wind-up Godzilla 4 ice cubes a pinch of garlic salt Completely spoil your appetite by eating all of the crème eggs. Carefully build a scale model of the Hanging Gardens of Babylon with the peppermint sticks, then poke Godzilla with the kebab skewers until enraged. Point him toward Babylon, but be sure to set the model on fire before he arrives for cinematic effect. Get all up in Kaminski’s face and tell him what to do. Yell at the remaining ingredients until smooth. Arrange on a soft plastic tray and throw on the flaming wreckage for one week or until extinct. Let stand for 15 minutes and enjoy! Serves no master.
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Jul 5, 2014 22:27
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gently caress you, 'ghlbtsk'
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Jul 5, 2014 22:27
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Sentient Data posted:Put ketchup on a hot dog i will allow this though if you're eating a hot dog at all you may have already hosed up
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Jul 5, 2014 22:30
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Eat a frozen Hotpocket. (I've done that)
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Jul 5, 2014 22:34
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The Belgian posted:gently caress you, 'ghlbtsk' Just for that I'm going to post my Grandmother's secret recipe. BLACKENED CREOLE VEGAN PORK MIASMA Happy Sauce™: ¼ cup pure, undiluted liquid capsaicin (16M Scoville units) 1 tsp black Hawaiian beach sand ¼ - ½ cup powdered cardboard (bleached) ----------------------------------------------------------- 3 adorable, cuddly, fluffy, baby bunny rabbits ½ lb dandelion stems (milked) 38 tsp. white birch sap 1 lb. cumin 4 paroled oak leaves (orange or yellow) 1 cup spelt flour ¼ ream Hammermill white paper (94 brightness) 8 oz. crushed pork rinds 1 earth-shattering crisis of faith 3 tbsp. stevia extract 4 tbsp. repurposed butter 4 ½ ice cubes 1 medium papier-mâché pig 3 cans Campbell’s Chunky Mealworm soup 6 medium balloons Fill each balloon with ½ can soup and drop on the stupid punk who won’t stop skateboarding right outside the window. I can’t concentrate with all that racket and there’s a skate park three blocks away, idiot. Use a blender to transform first three ingredients into Happy Sauce™ and use an eyedropper to apply to the eye of the sweet, trusting, defenseless baby bunny. If it screams and convulses in agony, you have the mixture just right. If not, adjust cardboard content for desired graininess and try again! Make sure oak leaves do not cross state line. Combine yard waste and spices and flounce until unctuous. Kill the pig right in the motherfucking face, then remove viscera and stuff with buttered white paper and spiced mulch. Suspend over a smoldering incense stick for 3 years or until forgotten. Drizzle with remaining Happy Sauce™, then dust with spelt flour to remove all flavor. Let stand for 15 minutes, question everything you have ever believed and enjoy! Serves {-b±√(b2-4ac)/(x3+bx2+cx+d)} – {√(x-α)(x-ß)(x-♪)}.
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Jul 5, 2014 22:35
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these are some of the worst posts i have ever read
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Jul 5, 2014 22:40
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I encourage you all to make these delicious biscuits with the secondary purpose of getting rid of The Belgian. HAUNTED CREOLE RIVERBOAT DOOM-BISCUITS 3 cups all-purpose flowers 1 homosexual-pirate-cursed machete 1 Tbsp. chopped fetid rosemary 2 Tbsp. chopped decayed basil ½ cup whole malk 1 Tbsp. banking powder 1 tsp. sea silt 1 lb. cumin 2 tsp. pineal gland squeezings 1 ¼ cups buttermalk 1 damned Belgian soul 1 small head iceberg lettuce 4 medium angry blue crabs 6 Tbsp. unfocused butter 5 ice cubes 1 Sears Kenmore™ Abyss mood lighting (optional) Pre-heat oven to 72°F. Kill a Belgian using your preferred method and trap the escaping soul in a Ziplock bag. Cleave head in twain with gay blade and carefully extrude drippy pineal gland squeezings. Toss corpse into the Abyss. No body, no crime! Taunt the soul with exhortations of just how great it is to be a living person; take exaggerated deep breaths, smile, laugh, declare it to be a lovely day, etc. An anguished soul is a flavorful soul. Fill sink with angry crabs and debate the definition of consciousness. Lose the debate. Rant at the lettuce about the incomprehensible void of human “morality”, then throw it into the sea. If landlocked, either move to the coast like a civilized human being, or fill a bathtub with water and hold lettuce head underwater until hilarious. Murder the butter and flowers in a microwave for 1 min. Pour into bottomless chasm (or mixing bowl) and slowly stir in remains of ingredients. Pour onto a greased cookie sheet in 1” dollops and bake at 72ºF for 200 years. Let stand 15 minutes and enjoy!
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Jul 5, 2014 22:57
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Cook your steak to well done, anything over medium rare really. disgusting
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Jul 5, 2014 23:22
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Eat a whole bowl of salad leaves and barf them back up into the bowl instead of chopping them up
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Jul 5, 2014 23:32
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Hershey's Chocolate Sauce on urchin. Close the thread, peace out and go gently caress yourself.
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Jul 5, 2014 23:43
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eating salmon roe out of the jar with a spoon, in your underwear while watching transformers
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Jul 5, 2014 23:47
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No joke I just tried to grill some marshmallos and it didn't turn out well
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Jul 5, 2014 23:51
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1) Wash all the BBQ off Pork Ribs 2) Put uncooked bacon in clam chowder.
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Jul 5, 2014 23:52
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just add canned corn
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Jul 5, 2014 23:54
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Behold, a recipe for the breakfast Buddy makes in 2003's Elf. If you don't have the 'beetus already, you will soon.
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Jul 6, 2014 00:03
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Ketchup.
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Jul 6, 2014 00:05
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If you put A1 on a steak you're an rear end in a top hat and should be ashamed.
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Jul 6, 2014 01:58
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Full Metal Jackass posted:If you put A1 on a steak you're an rear end in a top hat and should be ashamed. i used to put a1 on my steaks when i was little until i learned that well done means "you need to dump a1 on it to taste good"
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Jul 6, 2014 02:24
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Fartmaster posted:Eat a frozen Hotpocket. (I've done that) I've also done this, but only because I was kinda in a hosed up situation at the time, and didn't want anyone else in the dorm to find out I stole a bunch of hot pockets.
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Jul 6, 2014 02:24
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| # ? Apr 26, 2024 13:08 |
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ghlbtsk posted:I encourage you all to make these delicious biscuits with the secondary purpose of getting rid of The Belgian.
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Jul 6, 2014 02:30
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