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Minimalist Program
Aug 14, 2010
I have 9 sons, each more retarded than the last and, according to prophecy, sooner or later I will meet one of them in bed.

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The Droid
Jun 11, 2012

Paternity test+prepare to be the best father a goon with a chun-li av can be

jalopybrown
Oct 11, 2012

MY BF LESLIE SAID posted:

The story isn't wild enough to get on Maury and judge judy would just yell at me. Judge Alex might be cool though

go on peoples court, Judge Milian is really sexy for her age imo

MY BF LESLIE SAID
Jun 9, 2006

by Lowtax

Minimalist Program posted:

I have 9 sons, each more retarded than the last and, according to prophecy, sooner or later I will meet one of them in bed.

this is why you sleep in a swamp

Giraffe
Dec 12, 2005

Soiled Meat
Who cares op, the kid is probably a piece of poo poo like you.

MY BF LESLIE SAID
Jun 9, 2006

by Lowtax

jalopybrown posted:

go on peoples court, Judge Milian is really sexy for her age imo

She's got it going on for someone that's vaguely uhhhhhhhh ethnic

Puppy Galaxy
Aug 1, 2004

I hear google had some good info on how to murder your child

a misanthrope
Jun 21, 2010

:burgerpug::burgerpug::burgerpug::burgerpug::burgerpug:
run to mexico -- thats my plan if that happens


or you could push her down the stairs and hope

rootphreak
May 16, 2008

HO HO HO
SPREAD EM FOR SANTA

redshirt posted:

Contact Maury or Judge Judy or one of those shows. They'll get to the bottom of this.

I agree. Also be sure to promote SA on national television. Lowtax might give you archives access or an SA t-shirt. Might. lol. Be sure to refer to yourself as "da babby daddeh" as well. Do the Harlem Shake when you learn you aren't the father.

Kelfeftaf
Sep 9, 2011
Chun-Li Avatar Dad is a father no one deserves to have.

Twee as Fuck
Nov 13, 2012

by Lowtax

The Droid posted:

Paternity test+prepare to be the best father a goon with a chun-li av can be

vyst
Aug 25, 2009



Why did you give her a way to contact you noob.

MY BF LESLIE SAID
Jun 9, 2006

by Lowtax

vyst posted:

Why did you give her a way to contact you noob.

I didn't and you can't search for me on Facebook so I don't know how she got my number

les fleurs du mall
Jun 30, 2014

by LadyAmbien

MY BF LESLIE SAID posted:

I didn't and you can't search for me on Facebook so I don't know how she got my number

Slept with your dad first, he is the father, new sister/brother cool now slap yourself with a high five babe

Al Borland
Oct 29, 2006

by XyloJW

MY BF LESLIE SAID posted:

I didn't and you can't search for me on Facebook so I don't know how she got my number

Should have switched to an ethnic accent the second you realized it was her OP. Your bad.

Big Beef City
Aug 15, 2013

Leslie I'm your dead gay son. Love me in accordance to the prophecy. For one thousand years have I slumbered, now I arise seeking your approval. Together will will reign over this gay earth.

MY BF LESLIE SAID
Jun 9, 2006

by Lowtax

Big Beef City posted:

Leslie I'm your dead gay son. Love me in accordance to the prophecy. For one thousand years have I slumbered, now I arise seeking your approval. Together will will reign over this gay earth.

My child.... *desperately tries to conceal the disappointed look on my face*

Dean of Swing
Feb 22, 2012
Congratulations.

MY BF LESLIE SAID
Jun 9, 2006

by Lowtax

Dean of Swing posted:

Congratulations.

Thank you.

OMFG FURRY
Jul 10, 2006

[snarky comment]
i hope this doesnt interfere with your cucking adventure

Pirateparty
Apr 12, 2007

Scurvy
now you get to bust in there no questions asked :regd10:

Big Beef City
Aug 15, 2013

you should buy a box of those bubblegum cigars and pass them out to homeless people

etalian
Mar 20, 2006

anti-sex abuse groups leads to sex

Madcosby
Mar 4, 2003

by FactsAreUseless
Let the sun take care of your son

MY BF LESLIE SAID
Jun 9, 2006

by Lowtax

etalian posted:

anti-sex abuse groups leads to sex

Who would have thought?

MY BF LESLIE SAID
Jun 9, 2006

by Lowtax

Big Beef City posted:

you should buy a box of those bubblegum cigars and pass them out to homeless people

The homeless here are feral and unable to process feelings due to years of relentless exposure to the sun. They'd probably start loving the cigars and that's not the kind of world I want my son to live in.

Al Borland
Oct 29, 2006

by XyloJW

MY BF LESLIE SAID posted:

The homeless here are feral and unable to process feelings due to years of relentless exposure to the sun. They'd probably start loving the cigars and that's not the kind of world I want my son to live in.

Kill the homeless for your son's sake. Kill them all.

les fleurs du mall
Jun 30, 2014

by LadyAmbien
Seriously though start a kickstarter for her abortion

MY BF LESLIE SAID
Jun 9, 2006

by Lowtax

Quickscope420dad posted:

Seriously though start a kickstarter for her abortion

The baby is already born and is like almost 2 years old it's impossible to abort at this point

Al Borland
Oct 29, 2006

by XyloJW

MY BF LESLIE SAID posted:

The baby is already born and is like almost 2 years old it's impossible to abort at this point

Teach it to say "Daddy", but to someone else and say "Welp clearly I'm NOT the father afterall!"

grieving for Gandalf
Apr 22, 2008

MY BF LESLIE SAID posted:

The baby is already born and is like almost 2 years old it's impossible to abort at this point

you should have told that to justin ross harris

a mysterious cloak
Apr 5, 2003

Leave me alone, dad, I'm with my friends!


Quickscope420dad posted:

Kickstart her abortion

MY BF LESLIE SAID
Jun 9, 2006

by Lowtax

setafd posted:

you should have told that to justin ross harris

??? I don't watch How I Met Your Mother so I don't get the ref sorry

Samuel L. ACKSYN
Feb 29, 2008


MY BF LESLIE SAID posted:

The baby is already born and is like almost 2 years old it's impossible to abort at this point



u have a car right?

Al Borland
Oct 29, 2006

by XyloJW
Also Les, what were you doing at a sexual abuse group?

John Denver Hoxha
May 31, 2014

What a persistent nightmare!
....but enough about my posts
None of this woulda happened if you would have just let her peg you

*makes u think*

PollosBromanos
May 18, 2012
Make him a brother to play with you neglectful pos

OMFG FURRY
Jul 10, 2006

[snarky comment]

Al Borland posted:

Also Les, what were you doing at a sexual abuse group?
maybe he has some issues lay off okay?

The Droid
Jun 11, 2012

Irreverent joke response

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MY BF LESLIE SAID
Jun 9, 2006

by Lowtax

Al Borland posted:

Also Les, what were you doing at a sexual abuse group?

One of my friends was a professor at my college and asked me to speak at a few group events because he knew about my childhood abuse and thought it would help give courage to other male abuse victims if they saw a dude speaking.

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