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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=My1TP7-_QXc Beginner's Bible is a series of Christian cartoons that present Bible stories in a kid-friendly fashion. This particular episode struck me because of how it tries to soften up one of the uglier passages of the Bible: the sacking and slaughter of Jericho by the Israelites. This is Joshua, the successor of Moses. He has a little brown goat companion who provides slapstick humor to pad out the episode.  This is the king of Jericho. Joshua politely tries to explain that God has promised Jericho to them, but the king is a dick and won't let some foreign invaders in.  Joshua sends two spies into Jericho to assess its strength. The king of Jericho instantly recognizes them because these master spies are wearing their Israelite uniforms.  Luckily the spies are given shelter by a woman named Rahab. The cartoon conveniently doesn't mention that she is a prostitute. Rahab has heard stories of how awesome the Jewish God is, and has agreed to sell her people out in exchange for being spared. "I showed kindness to you. When your people attack the city, please, spare my family and me." It's a line that pretty much foreshadows a slaughter, which funnily enough never happens.  The Israelites eventually lay siege to Jericho. On the final day of the seige, Joshua decides to break out into a song. Every episode of this cartoon series contains at least one song number. It sounds like your typical uplifting Christian rock song that makes no mention of the terrified people within the walls. God then brings down the walls of Jericho, allowing the Israelites to take it with little effort. Now, the Bible notes this as a very bloody affair. "They devoted the city to the LORD and destroyed with the sword every living thing in it - men and women, young and old, cattle, sheep and donkeys." (Joshua 6:2) In the cartoon, however, all they do is make the Jericho army stand in a circle. There is no scene of slaughter, no scenes where Joshua's little brown goat is gnawing on the corpses of slain Jericho women.  Joshua is then presented the traitorous whore Rahab and lets her stay with them. 
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Jul 7, 2014 19:39
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| # ? Apr 20, 2024 04:38 |
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nobody cares about your loving gay anime bullshit you loving oval office human being nerd
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Jul 7, 2014 19:41
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Oberleutnant posted:nobody cares about your loving gay anime bullshit you loving oval office human being nerd carl, you're drunk, go home.
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Jul 7, 2014 19:42
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Oberleutnant posted:nobody cares about your loving gay anime bullshit you loving oval office human being nerd
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Jul 7, 2014 19:48
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Oberleutnant posted:nobody cares about your loving gay anime bullshit you loving oval office human being nerd carl its gonna be ok
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Jul 7, 2014 19:57
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How does it deal with Lot and Sodom & Gomorrah? Lot's daughters get him drunk and gently caress him to continue the family line gently caress you're famil
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Jul 7, 2014 19:58
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Oberleutnant posted:nobody cares about your loving gay anime bullshit you loving oval office human being nerd gotta agree with this guy. How come so many athiest fags are running around watching children's cartoons? Makes you think..
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Jul 7, 2014 19:59
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well I guess not much has changed in 3000 years
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Jul 7, 2014 20:02
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Veggie Tales also did an ep on this. irc there's no violence (duh) but there is that visual gag where the entire city is rubble but there is a second floor toilet still hovering in the air connected to a string of plumbing really funny, and taught me a lot about the infinite power of GOD, op
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Jul 7, 2014 20:07
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Why does everyone look so happy in this stuff? I thought everyone would be totally miserable back then. I always imagined Jesus was a man who never smiled and it made me sad.
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Jul 7, 2014 20:08
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Jul 7, 2014 20:16
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Kaantaja my friends.
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Jul 7, 2014 20:17
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welcome to bible is jericho
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Jul 7, 2014 20:24
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genocide loving owms
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Jul 7, 2014 20:25
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The year is 14 Y2J
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Jul 7, 2014 21:39
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where is chris
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Jul 7, 2014 21:41
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That DICK! posted:The year is 14 Y2J
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Jul 8, 2014 19:34
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cis white male posted:Veggie Tales also did an ep on this. irc there's no violence (duh) but there is that visual gag where the entire city is rubble but there is a second floor toilet still hovering in the air connected to a string of plumbing
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Jul 8, 2014 19:37
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Agreed, this show didn't get a chance to stretch its legs before CBS kileld it off.
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Jul 8, 2014 19:37
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Life is brutal and cheap OP. hth
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Jul 8, 2014 19:42
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Jul 8, 2014 19:46
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Jul 8, 2014 20:32
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new teen titans best teen titans
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Jul 8, 2014 20:40
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Oberleutnant posted:nobody cares about your loving gay anime bullshit you loving oval office human being nerd jesus carl 
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Jul 8, 2014 20:41
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religion? 
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Jul 8, 2014 20:44
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I think i had the childrens bible this is from as a kid
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Jul 8, 2014 20:58
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"religion of peace"
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Jul 8, 2014 21:03
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Sounds like it's time for another Crusade.
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Jul 8, 2014 21:33
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jews have a long history of being genocidal savages. makes you think.
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Jul 8, 2014 21:44
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I wish it was easy to make an absolutely literal ublinkingly traumatizing cartoon of old testament stories For Kidz.
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Jul 9, 2014 02:24
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Disconnecticus posted:I wish it was easy to make an absolutely literal ublinkingly traumatizing cartoon of old testament stories For Kidz. aronofsky's 'Noah' is exactly this
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Jul 9, 2014 21:38
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remember that tv program 'Jericho' with screech ulrich from saved by the bell
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Jul 9, 2014 21:43
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i watched these as a kid
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Jul 9, 2014 21:55
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Tear down those walls Mr Josuha!
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Jul 9, 2014 22:02
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Low Desert Punk posted:remember that tv program 'Jericho' with screech ulrich from saved by the bell yes
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Jul 9, 2014 22:27
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JebanyPedal posted:Why does everyone look so happy in this stuff? I thought everyone would be totally miserable back then. They're smiling because if they don't smile god will torture, kill, and possibly rape them, their friends and family
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Jul 10, 2014 00:43
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Jul 10, 2014 00:47
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Jul 10, 2014 00:53
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cis white male posted:aronofsky's 'Noah' is exactly this https://answersingenesis.org/noahs-ark/review-noah-movie-unbiblical/
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Jul 10, 2014 05:17
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| # ? Apr 20, 2024 04:38 |
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way crazier poo poo then that actually happened man some guy somewhere had a really cool swordfight
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Jul 10, 2014 05:34
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