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Life is good. Your servants obey your every command and you don't have to do a drat thing. At least it used to be. Recently, the powers that be officially decreed that you are an "Evil Overlord" and your tower is a "Fortress of Evil." Just because you employ a few goblins and maybe a monster or two. Sheesh, talk about overreacting. In theory, "Evil Overlords" terrorize the populace and everyone for months aroundcowers at the mere mention of their name. Heroes out of song are supposed to come pouring in to slay you and liberate the townsfolk. In reality the locals were never that scared of you and so instead of storied heroes there has been an unending stream of idiots with maybe a weeks practice with a pointy stick kicking down your door. Your servants can deal with them easily enough. What worse is when every so often a "Hero" with a sword and glittering armor shows up, beats the crap out of anyone who gets in their way, and steals anything not nailed down. Without so much as a by your leave! The last few "Hero's" have had the gall to complain about how little you had left to steal. One of them threatened to come back a week from now and if you didn't have something worth stealing by then he'd... Well, you shudder to even think about what he threatened, and he's the "Hero." Hah! Bunch of big bullies. At least you still have your humble abode:  In addition to your own talents and your home, you also command a half dozen goblin servants. You have 7 days before you expect the "Hero" to return for your 1. What do you do today? A) Recruit more goblins B) Kick your goblin servants until morale improves C) Explore the local area D) Explore your tower - maybe you can find some coins in your couch cushions E) Something else, write in. Welcome to the game. Evil Overlord - Being Evil Isn't Easy is a Choose Your Own Adventure game. The format of the game is simple. I will lay out the scenario and offer options to proceed with. You can always propose an alternate path to pick. When you vote, please bold your vote like this. One way this game is different from other Chose Your Own Adventure games is that your adventure is a freeform adventure. You choose your path through the world. The world can and will change around you based upon your actions and you will not have a predetermined story to run through. Your path and ultimate fate are not planned. Today, the day we started the game, I honestly have no idea where we may be a month from now, let alone how it might one day end. It is all up to you. If you just found this thread, you may want to skip ahead to here. Several issues I didn't expect were corrected by this point and we moved on to a new part of the same world. LLSix fucked around with this message at 01:26 on Aug 26, 2014 |
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Jul 10, 2014 21:53
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E) Replace your goblins with Kobolds. They're cooler.
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Jul 10, 2014 21:59
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mr.capps posted:E) Replace your goblins with Kobolds. They're cooler. What this man said.
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Jul 10, 2014 22:02
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B Show them who is boss...at least for the time being...
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Jul 10, 2014 22:02
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A More Goblins. Always more goblins!! Never enough goblins!
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Jul 10, 2014 22:02
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E. Consider your abilities and the means by which you convince goblins to serve you
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Jul 10, 2014 22:03
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E: Build an alligator pit (or just a regular pit if we must) to hide under the welcome matt, make some popcorn, and get ready to watch the fun with your loyal goblin companions.
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Jul 10, 2014 22:05
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C) Explore the local area. Maybe you can 'convince' some of the nearby townsfolk to work for you, any would be Heroes might take pause if you've got some helmetless townsfolk with names as guards instead of unnamed goblins. Also, kobolds might live nearby, you'll never know unless you look. SubNat fucked around with this message at 22:32 on Jul 10, 2014 |
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Jul 10, 2014 22:06
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E. Summon a demon and make a deal for infernal power. Lets take our evil overlording up to the next level by making a pact with the lower planes! We can give it goblin souls, or ours when we die, we won't need it then, being dead.  Lets kick it up a notch! Infernal style! Bam!
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Jul 10, 2014 22:07
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C. Go explore. People are right to say kobolds are better than goblins, but we need to go find some first.
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Jul 10, 2014 22:11
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FoxTerrier posted:E: Build an alligator pit (or just a regular pit if we must) to hide under the welcome matt, make some popcorn, and get ready to watch the fun with your loyal goblin companions. Entertainment! Marvelous, I agree with this
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Jul 10, 2014 22:12
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Kobolds are a fad and popular only with evil hipsters.
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Jul 10, 2014 22:13
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E. We need to summon up some Imp workers. If we don't have any imps mining and expanding, the goblins can't do any guarding!
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Jul 10, 2014 22:16
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E. INFERNAL POWER!
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Jul 10, 2014 22:22
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ColonelMuttonchops posted:C. Go explore. I vote for this. Whats out there? Is there something to kill and or maim?
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Jul 10, 2014 22:25
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Diogines posted:E. Summon a demon and make a deal for infernal power. Summon Bartimaeus or something!
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Jul 10, 2014 22:28
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B Sigh. It's for their own good.
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Jul 10, 2014 22:28
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C Go outside you goddamn goon.
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Jul 10, 2014 22:31
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SlothBear posted:A Fie to your Bartimaeus, more goblins is always the answer! Goblins dig pits, make new goblins, make for easy and therapeutic kicking, carry tetanus, and make more goblins. They're the dungeon fixture that keeps on giving! (and you don't even really need to feed or pay them much if at all)
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Jul 10, 2014 22:31
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The answer is more goblins. A
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Jul 10, 2014 22:34
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D - Procrastinate on the couch! We still have, what 7 days til the hero gets here? Psh! We'll do it tomorrow.
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Jul 10, 2014 22:35
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Diogines posted:E. Summon a demon and make a deal for infernal power. Do this.
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Jul 10, 2014 22:41
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E. Mine for lava pits. I'm sure there's one sitting around somewhere. And if the hero comes back, we can always say there's something neat and interesting in the massive hole in our backyard.
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Jul 10, 2014 22:47
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Diogines posted:E. Summon a demon and make a deal for infernal power. This Make sure we get everything in writing!
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Jul 10, 2014 22:54
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How about we goblin up now and then demon summon? In the least having more goblins on hand gives us more collateral to feed the demon.
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Jul 10, 2014 22:57
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paragon1 posted:C Go outside you goddamn goon. There's got to be something interesting out there.
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Jul 10, 2014 22:59
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Diogines posted:E. Summon a demon and make a deal for infernal power. Going with this.
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Jul 10, 2014 22:59
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Diogines posted:E. Summon a demon and make a deal for infernal power.
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Jul 10, 2014 23:11
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E - Recruit the townsfolk. Point out that if this "real" Hero kills you, the local economy will tank, as they'll no longer have morons with pointy sticks spending their precious coin on whatever these dirt farmers sell to wandering heroes.
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Jul 10, 2014 23:18
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Slaan posted:E. We need to summon up some Imp workers. If we don't have any imps mining and expanding, the goblins can't do any guarding! Yeah, really. We need to make room for a lair and find the portal first.
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Jul 10, 2014 23:22
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mr.capps posted:E) Replace your goblins with Kobolds. They're cooler. I agree. Goblins smell bad.
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Jul 10, 2014 23:26
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mr.capps posted:E) Replace your goblins with Kobolds. They're cooler. Kobold supremacy! 
Successful Businessmanga fucked around with this message at 23:40 on Jul 10, 2014 |
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Jul 10, 2014 23:37
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the_steve posted:E - Recruit the townsfolk. Point out that if this "real" Hero kills you, the local economy will tank, as they'll no longer have morons with pointy sticks spending their precious coin on whatever these dirt farmers sell to wandering heroes.
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Jul 11, 2014 00:13
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the_steve posted:E - Recruit the townsfolk. Point out that if this "real" Hero kills you, the local economy will tank, as they'll no longer have morons with pointy sticks spending their precious coin on whatever these dirt farmers sell to wandering heroes. This.
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Jul 11, 2014 00:18
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the_steve posted:E - Recruit the townsfolk. Point out that if this "real" Hero kills you, the local economy will tank, as they'll no longer have morons with pointy sticks spending their precious coin on whatever these dirt farmers sell to wandering heroes. Oh god. This sooooo much. Just the idea of an "evil overlord" being the driving force for a local economy is hilarious.
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Jul 11, 2014 00:24
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the_steve posted:E - Recruit the townsfolk. Point out that if this "real" Hero kills you, the local economy will tank, as they'll no longer have morons with pointy sticks spending their precious coin on whatever these dirt farmers sell to wandering heroes. This plan is solid
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Jul 11, 2014 00:27
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the_steve posted:E - Recruit the townsfolk. Point out that if this "real" Hero kills you, the local economy will tank, as they'll no longer have morons with pointy sticks spending their precious coin on whatever these dirt farmers sell to wandering heroes.  Genius. Also throw a party with rest of our alcohol to convince the goblins to reproduce.
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Jul 11, 2014 00:36
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Ralith posted:E. Consider your abilities and the means by which you convince goblins to serve you You believe yourself to be a wizard of unrivaled talent, intelligence, good looks, wit, charm and talent for deception. You're pretty sure that even though you only weigh 120 pounds you could bench press any of the heroes that have been harassing you. You just didn't want to. Too much trouble, yeah, that's it. Obviously the goblins serve you because you broke their feeble wills with your mighty magics and force them to serve you. That you feed them twice a day and goblins in the wild are lucky to eat every other day. That goblins are the lowest and least respected of the bipedal monsters and are hunted by everyone, even other monsters has nothing to do with it. Yep, definitely your command of mind altering magics. You have many artifacts and tomes of magic at your disposal, but everything has been so hectic lately that you're not sure what all is still intact or where it is. Diogines posted:E. Summon a demon and make a deal for infernal power. Your summoning chamber, like everything else it seems, has been damaged by the endless waves of attacks. Your circle was engraved in the floor and inset with precious metals and gems. The metals and gems have all been pried up and carted off and some over-ambitious hero even scratched up the pattern. Using it as-is wouldn't just be dangerous, it would surely result in your demise. Greater demons are well out of your reach for now. However, there are demons and then there are demons and then there are demons. You really hope you don't get the second kind. The summoning chamber always smells like the South end of North bound mule for weeks after one of those. You spend all morning ordering your goblin servants to clear sufficient space for a new circle in a chamber that once housed devious traps that are now just so much trash. The afternoon is spent in the delicate and finicky task of drawing a new summoning circle. Creating even the simplest of summoning circles is a task beyond most mortals, but you are an Evil Overlord and at last your circle is complete:  At least you think it's complete. If there's even the slightest flaw the demon could escape the circle and rend your soul from your body. Yeah, you're pretty sure it's finished, and it's not like you have time to double check it anyways. Contrary to popular superstition, demons can be summoned at any time, but it's easiest right at dusk as the day gives way to night. It's growing dark already. You hurriedly place all your remaining demon bait inside the circle:  Almost as soon as you begin the incantation, you feel the spell hook onto a demon and begin reeling it in. The demon is strong and it is a great struggle to bring it forth. Maybe even stronger than you really wanted. That'd be just your luck, beaten up by a hero and your own demon in the same day. You collapse to your knees just as the circle fills with clouds of brimstone. You're completely exhausted. If the demon tries to break out your not sure you can hold him in there; much less send him back. You're going to have to give this The wards contain the smoke and it billows straight up, piling up against the ceiling. The smoke begins to thin and a demonic faces leers up at you from within the circle:  "I suppose you did well enough, fleshling. I'm here after all, but I can't say I'm impressed. You'll have to do better next time. Mice would be good. Lots and lots of mice. Well, what do you want?" It sniffs at you, then prowls around the circle once. Sitting down with it's back to you it talks to the far wall. "Imps? Useless things, I can give you a good deal on them. Or perhaps you'd like a taste of real power? Or knowledge? I know so much and you know so little..." 1. What do you want? You can mix and match A) Imps. You get 3 imps for a year and a day for every goblin (write in how many you want) B) Knowledge of the local area. (costs 1 goblin) C) Blackmail material on the nearby residents (costs 1 or 2 goblins) D) The location of a kobold camp and directions on how to reach it (costs 2 goblins) E) A one time favor, anything the demon can do in an hours time (4 goblins, up front) F) A permanent pact for power. Generally this involves the demon tattooing a channel to it's power into your skin, so you'd have to go inside the summoning circle to allow this. (2 goblins as well as all the problems involved in a demon having a link to your body) G) Granted Power. For a year and a day you can use any of the demon's powers once a day (3 goblins, if this wins) Write In 2. Only if you voted F or G. Which power(s) do you want? Pick up to 2. H) Invisibility I) Fear Aura J) Inhuman skill at riddles K) Armor piercing claws. L) A charming voice that is hard to refuse. M) Greater Magical might N) Write in, but the demon may not have the power you want LLSix fucked around with this message at 00:56 on Jul 11, 2014 |
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Jul 11, 2014 00:37
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Assdicks! If only we'd more goblins on hand we could have bargained for more upper tier powers. Too bad nobody tried to suggest that like five minutes ago or anything.  How many goblins do we have right now anyway? I'd like to wait on voting until I know for sure.
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Jul 11, 2014 00:42
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| # ? Apr 24, 2024 11:05 |
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   (Bloody icons available here: http://imgur.com/a/ttpuC , Bronze icons here: http://imgur.com/a/2q3kU )
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