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runupon cracker posted:Willpower is overrated. Discipline is everything. Absolutely this. Willpower puts your foot on the path to change, discipline is what keeps it there. ChairMaster posted:Well there's a certain point at which eating right and walking to work every day isn't enough and you have to either cut calories to a bare minimum or start properly exercising and running and poo poo. I know for a fact that I don't have the willpower for either. If you can't buy ice cream without downing the whole tub, don't buy ice cream. I get it, there are gonna be chinks in your armor. Pizza and donuts are pretty much strictly off limits to me, cause I get in this weird zone of 'one more won't hurt, one more won't hurt, one more won...oh no they're all gone, WHAT HAVE I DONE?!', I've accepted that for the time being, I can't control myself with those types of food. I have a fairly serious psychological condition that drastically affects my ability to control myself sometimes, but I'm still managing weight loss through strict discipline. Edit: Answering some more of the general questions in the thread - were/are you a picky eater? I asked this before but no one responded. Is this a bad question? I'm adventurous when it comes to food. I'll eat just about anything, but I don't particularly care for some foods with weird textures, like coconut or hominy. Grape and orange soda make me vomit with an alarmingly fast reaction. I'm pretty damned allergic to apricots. Overall, I'll at least try anything once. My relationship with food For a long time it was what I imagine junkies' relationship with heroin must be like. I ate for comfort, and ate for boredom. I ate just to feel full, and would push that to a gross level. Like, literally eating so much I had to poop before I ate more. Which I then did. During my early childhood, my family was very poor, and as such we were on fairly strict rationing with food. Sweets were a rare treat, beans a common entree. When I was in a situation where food was more readily available, especially good food, I tended to gorge. I remember when I was in 7th grade I believe, I stayed a summer with my grandparents and managed to put on like 30 lbs. My weigh when I was young was incredibly variable. How am I losing Strictly counting calories, and exercising six days of the week. Exercising, especially running and biking, I've found I really enjoy. Weight lifting blows, but its only an hour or so out of my day tops, so I just push through and get it done. I have definition in my pecs for the first time ever, and that's a pretty exciting thing to see. When I first started trying to lose I went paleo, but pretty quickly defaulted to just calorie counting. I very rarely do a cheat day, like maybe once a quarter. Most embarrassing fat moments Day to day I'd say the fatty grunts. Not familiar? Here's a funny cartoon about it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lRsNFTvmui4. Not realizing how fat you were and clumsily hitting on women way out of your league, was pretty embarassing too. The single most embarrassing thing was meeting back up with friends from high school, and family I hadn't seen in a while, and the look of shock and horror on their face when they saw how fat I was. Oh to put some of these weight numbers in context, I'm 30 and 6'1 Dreqqus fucked around with this message at 13:20 on Jul 25, 2014 |
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Jul 25, 2014 13:05
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ChairMaster posted:Well there's a certain point at which eating right and walking to work every day isn't enough and you have to either cut calories to a bare minimum or start properly exercising and running and poo poo. I know for a fact that I don't have the willpower for either. It's not about willpower. Willpower suggests that it's an external force, something outside of your control, like "oh I'm just broken I don't have any willpower so gently caress it ice cream forever!" For me it was about desire. Which did I want more - cookies and cake and french fries, or the ability to walk around the zoo with my niece without having to play "where's the next bench?" every time we went to look at the animals? Did I want to sit on the couch eating a pound of beef jerky, or did I want to be able to buy clothes at any store out there instead of only at Lane Bryant and the like? You have to WANT it, and I think that's mainly your problem right now. Losing weight is some nebulous concept for you now, some vague desire, but the desire to eat a lot of food is stronger. Take some time, sit down with yourself, and be really, truly, incredibly honest about why that is. You don't have to fix it right now. You don't have to go on some weepy emotional journey. But you DO have to look into why you're grabbing onto the immediate wants (food) instead of the long term, way better wants (health, positive self image, and overall quality of life improvement). But the important part is be honest TO YOURSELF even if you lie to everyone else.
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Jul 25, 2014 13:30
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Frost Alias posted:2 months ago on my wedding day, at about 145 lbs: Sup milf buddy 
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Jul 25, 2014 14:03
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runupon cracker posted:It sounds like you're still living with your parents, and are they the ones cooking the meals? If so, talk to them about how you feel and what you want to do, and that you want them to help. The first step (for either you or them, whoever is doing the cooking) is to cook less food at each meal. You can't have three plates at dinner if there's only enough food for everybody to have a single plate. Not having food ready to go is a more powerful deterrent to overeating than a lot of people realize. Your first line of defense can be to limit your access to food. Get rid of all the junk food in your house. Make any convenience food in your house low-calorie. This will of course be much more difficult if you're living with family, but your family SHOULD support you in your efforts. A few years ago my parents decided to start eating healthier, and now only make enough healthy food for everyone to have one serving. Three servings at dinner was at my colleges greasy, awful dining hall. There's a second place to get food there, but it's usually so crowded that getting anything takes half an hour. I do need more discipline. I've definitely challenged myself to eat less than the day before and failed. The most awkward moments for me are when I get cookies at the dining hall and friends go "you can eat that many cookies" and all I can think is "oh boy I can eat so much more you don't even know"
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Jul 25, 2014 14:16
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Women's Rights? posted:You have to WANT it, and I think that's mainly your problem right now. Losing weight is some nebulous concept for you now, some vague desire, but the desire to eat a lot of food is stronger. Take some time, sit down with yourself, and be really, truly, incredibly honest about why that is. You don't have to fix it right now. You don't have to go on some weepy emotional journey. But you DO have to look into why you're grabbing onto the immediate wants (food) instead of the long term, way better wants (health, positive self image, and overall quality of life improvement). But the important part is be honest TO YOURSELF even if you lie to everyone else. Yea probably health is the only thing that's keeping me eating healthy at this point. Chances are I'm not ever gonna have a positive self image and my life is gonna be pretty much exactly the same whether I'm obese or skinny. Even back when I was obese I never had any trouble getting around or anything. I couldn't run any distance at all without being absolutely winded in seconds but I could walk or hike for literally hours and never really need much of a break or anything. I honestly have never understood how people can get tired from just walking.
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Jul 25, 2014 19:44
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ChairMaster posted:Yea probably health is the only thing that's keeping me eating healthy at this point. Chances are I'm not ever gonna have a positive self image and my life is gonna be pretty much exactly the same whether I'm obese or skinny. Even back when I was obese I never had any trouble getting around or anything. I couldn't run any distance at all without being absolutely winded in seconds but I could walk or hike for literally hours and never really need much of a break or anything. I honestly have never understood how people can get tired from just walking. Are you seeing a therapist? Because if not, you should get on that. Body image issues can lead to a lot of unconscious self-destructive behavior, so doing something about those can make everything else a lot easier.
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Jul 25, 2014 21:51
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Liquid Communism posted:Are you seeing a therapist? Because if not, you should get on that. Body image issues can lead to a lot of unconscious self-destructive behavior, so doing something about those can make everything else a lot easier. This absolutely. I spent a long time with a therapist getting over my issues. I wasn't depressed because I was fat. I was fat because I was depressed. Vague attempts at losing weight would be dropped quickly because I would immediately think "well doesn't matter i can't do it anyways because I'm useless sooooo time to go buy some candy." And even if I lost the weight who cares because I'll still be ugly and stupid. THAT was what I had to get over. I had to see value IN ME before any attempt at losing weight would be successful. And since I didn't believe that I had any value for a long time, it didn't matter if I was 100 lbs or 500 lbs. Once I worked my way through my depression, it allowed me to be completely honest with myself about what my weight was doing to me and how I was using food to smother feelings and my weight as an excuse to push people away. I'm in a much better place mentally, and I DO have worth and value as a person. I am a nice, bright, cheery person, a god drat ray of sunshine. And as a person with value, I DESERVE to be the healthiest, happiest person I can be, which means losing tons of weight until I look good and feel great.
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Jul 25, 2014 22:05
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Women's Rights? posted:I had to see value IN ME before any attempt at losing weight would be successful. And since I didn't believe that I had any value for a long time, it didn't matter if I was 100 lbs or 500 lbs. Wow this is exactly what I went through, too. I began thinking "Oh, well, maybe I don't actually DESERVE to die..."
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Jul 26, 2014 01:07
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Women's Rights? posted:This absolutely. I spent a long time with a therapist getting over my issues. I wasn't depressed because I was fat. I was fat because I was depressed. Vague attempts at losing weight would be dropped quickly because I would immediately think "well doesn't matter i can't do it anyways because I'm useless sooooo time to go buy some candy." And even if I lost the weight who cares because I'll still be ugly and stupid. THAT was what I had to get over. I had to see value IN ME before any attempt at losing weight would be successful. And since I didn't believe that I had any value for a long time, it didn't matter if I was 100 lbs or 500 lbs. This is exactly where I'm at right now. I'd like to say that mental health is one of those things you can fix once and it'll stay good, but depression's a bastard that likes to come back under stress.
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Jul 26, 2014 10:40
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Dreqqus posted:This is entirely untrue. Calculate how many calories you need in a day. Eat less than that. That's all weight loss is. Its simple math. Calories in VS calories out. The biggest reason so many people rebound is because they take this advice and nothing else. They either reach a goal weight or something disruptive happens and they stop counting. Ultimately, calories in vs. calories out is what matters, but sustained positive change (weight loss or gain) come from adopting a lifestyle that causes you to hit your goals without needing a lot of attention. If you eat 1800 calories of unsatiating crap to lose weight, then the moment you lose the dedication to keep to 1800 calories, you'll undo all your change. If you make food choices so that you get to 1800 calories and are satisfied and feel great, then slipping is less damaging. It's pretty tough to overeat when you're mostly eating veggies and lean meats. It's pretty easy to overeat when you're weighing out pasta, measuring 1/2 cups of ice cream, and budgeting around the calories in french fries and potato chips.
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Jul 26, 2014 17:46
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That's very true and I apologize for over simplifying.
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Jul 26, 2014 20:01
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I read something interesting about that recently: http://www.npr.org/blogs/health/2014/04/14/299179468/mind-over-milkshake-how-your-thoughts-fool-your-stomach Basically, your body straight-up processes food differently based on how calorie-rich you THINK it is. In this experiment, two groups consumed an identical smoothie, but one group was told it was super-rich and indulgent, and the other group was told it was fat-free, no-sugar-added stuff for dieting. Just being told different things was enough to drastically impact how their bodies responded to the food hormonally.
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Jul 27, 2014 03:07
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disheveled posted:It's pretty tough to overeat when you're mostly eating veggies and lean meats. You're not loving kidding. Now that I've cut out a lot of the really bad stuff I was eating, and I've reached my target weight, I actually have to focus on maintaining weight as I continue to work out. Now that working out has turned from a "losing weight" thing into a "increasing my fitness" thing, I've had to focus more on making sure I'm getting good-quality calories to maintain and build muscle. 4 months ago, I never would've thought I'd have typed that sentence. I've been a lazy rear end pretty much all my life (aided and abetted by a birth defect that makes me poo poo at most sports, which really didn't help my motivation in school PE), but once you get used to it, it's pretty great. I was never obese (definitely overweight, though), but my fitness was really lovely for most of my life whether I was "thin" or not.
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Jul 27, 2014 05:10
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Missouri Fever posted:I read something interesting about that recently: I remember reading about this study a couple weeks ago. It seems like the observed change was in the amount of ghrelin that your body releases--so saying that your body processes the food differently is a bit disingenuous. You process the food in exactly the same way, and utilize or store the same amount of calories, the only difference--if the study is accurate--is that you can trick yourself into feeling more hungry or full.
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Jul 28, 2014 02:20
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yo I used to be really fat, then got real skinny and now I'm just a little fat for powerlifting me at about 220lbs, 16 years old. Only pic of that time, doesnt even show my body  then I got sick of it and stopped eating and started running, after about one year I looked like this (about 135lbs)  I actually got motivated to change because I had nothing more to accomplish on WoW. I had pretty much the best gear and was well known on my server, so there was nothing more to do. I'm just real stubborn like that and thought I'd try to lose some weight. The way I did it was REALLY stupid (I literally ate like an apple a day) but it was still a good decision. I was however not very happy with my body at 140lbs, so I started lifting for looks. Got to about 160lbs which looked good (ABS!!), but the training was boring so I started more serious powerlifting. It's going slow but steady, I've packed on both muscle and fat but it's the happiest I've been with my body. I look strong and can lift some heavy stuff! Currently hovering around 185lbs and looking like this (I am 24 now)  so basically aside from bragging, what I want to say is the number on the scale doesn't matter. It's how you look and feel that is important. I remember looking at the scales seeing 140lbs and not feeling happy or accomplished or anything
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Jul 28, 2014 10:38
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Missouri Fever posted:I read something interesting about that recently: It bothers me how the writer of this article arrives at completely the wrong conclusion. "Calories in, calories out" is indisputably true, it's just that when you're told to actually pay attention to how many calories you're taking in, lo and behold, people take their time and feel more full afterwards.
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Jul 29, 2014 13:58
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I'm probably going to regret posting in here because I guarantee I'm going to end up in one of the fat threads, but here goes. I'm 6'1" and 270ish lbs, which is pretty much dead-on into the obese category. I've been some flavor of fat since entering college, but it wasn't until I took a night shift position with free soda that I jumped up to 290, which was thankfully my highest weight. I'm lucky in that I'm broad shouldered and my fat distributes fairly evenly, so I don't look as fat as I am. Some of my friends were kind of shocked to hear how heavy I am. Probably building on that is that I've internalized some really hosed up ideas about my self and suffice to say, it's hard to care about myself when I feel worthless all the time. I have a good career/etc, but I'm constantly down on myself and the self-loathing is just the normal now. When I try to not be lovely to myself, I feel guilty about it, so there's another voice in the hat for 'fat people tend to have some hosed up emotional attitudes'. Time to answer some questions: Why did I get here? Definitely just not paying attention once my activity level dropped off and I started buying my own food. Being broke in college meant I ate like poo poo all the time. Also, getting a night shift job where I worked terrible hours and had access to free soda meant I packed on a shitton of calories really fast. Why I'm still there? Because I hate myself, and every time I say I'm trying to lose weight/etc the discussion gets aggressive. Had a coworker berate me for ordering a salad and having chicken on it, because 'it ruins the whole point of the salad' - but if I shove another slice of pizza in my face I can just be like 'gently caress you, I'm eating pizza'. I've always been scientifically minded and all the bullshit around weightloss is frustrating to sift through, so that's another excuse for me to use. Also, I didn't really have context on how much calories stuff was. I'd sit down and have a glass of milk and a plate of oreos and not realize that's like probably 6 or 700 calories, which is a delicious meal's worth of food in one fairly lame sitting. I'd recommend everyone, even thin people, count calories for a few weeks to just like fully internalize how much stuff is in terms of other stuff. It's been really eye-opening. What I'm doing now? Started counting calories (using myfitnesspal) to start off, exercise is painful currently and I don't have a lot of time for it currently, and I'd rather prioritize finding therapy as well. (Side note: I actually realize I'm probably lucky. I don't have an eating disorder, I don't have to eat all the time, although I do stress eat and I do snack when food is around, but at least for the first week I haven't really had a problem coming in way under my caloric goals without being miserable.) A big part of this (and part of the reason I'm already 20 pounds under my highest point) is that I got married and my wife and I cook a lot and do our best to try and make vegetables/etc better than it was growing up - both of us had parents that kind of just boiled vegetables so mcdonalds was way more appealing. But these days we can make things like sesame broccoli stir fry or broiled asparagus and really enjoy vegetables without having to hide them or fake it. It also makes it significantly easier to count calories when I know everything that goes into it. Embarassing stories: Bulleted list so this can end up in a thread or redtext avatar mocking me later: * My sex drive is pretty much shot and it's a big disappointment to my wife. She wants it regularly, like every other day, and I'm in the mood every week or so, max. * I can't walk up stairs without getting winded. One time, we were picking up food for my team and a bank of elevators went out so I had to climb up eight flights of stairs. I had to stop on the fourth floor for a breather like I was halfway through a marathon, it was a disgrace. * Really bad stretch marks on my waist and arms to the point where I don't use a public pool even though I love swimming. * Went through a fair number of computer chairs over the years, likely just due to my weight. * Can only sleep in one position on my side, am often way too hot at night. I guess thanks thread for forcing me to think about this more and not just be another thin guy being preachy or my parents trying another goddamn weight loss 'trick'. "Oh I love exercise it's so relaxing" "gently caress you, you're 115 lbs wet. Do that poo poo with a 150 lb backpack on and we'll chat." Edit: found these, answering them. - were/are you a picky eater? I asked this before but no one responded. Is this a bad question? I was never a really picky eater, my brother was but he's still rail-thin, so this doesn't really apply to me. I'm not particularly adventurous either, but I eat a fairly decent variety of food and am willing to try most things once. - do you have a physical goal in weight loss (assuming you want to lose or are losing weight) like "I want to be able to do a particular activity or exercise" or "I'd like to fit into a size __" I'd like to be back to 180 lbs, ideally. It's looking like I'm going to end up balding young anyway, so gotta get thin so at least I'm only partially ridiculous looking. - how do you see food? (No, not literally.) Honestly I really enjoy food. Cooking is one of my hobbies and my wife and I both love to cook, but I am starting to appreciate food more for tastes and textures rather than just 'yes bacon and sugar delicious'. - for those who are still at the start of or haven't started their weight loss (or don't want to lose weight), how do you feel about other people's success stories? Does it make you feel bad that you haven't done what they have done, or feel good to know that it's possible no matter what size you start at? It, like anything else that makes me evaluate myself, pretty much just adds deep shame feelings, but it's also pretty incredible to see what people have gone through. Falcon2001 fucked around with this message at 17:01 on Jul 29, 2014 |
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Jul 29, 2014 16:56
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Falcon2001 posted:Had a coworker berate me for ordering a salad and having chicken on it, because 'it ruins the whole point of the salad' Wow, what a jackass. I bet he wouldn't have said anything if you'd had some chicken with veggies on the side, either, even though the only difference is how they're physically arranged on the plate. Definitely keep up with counting calories - it gets easier and easier with time as you get used to it and it becomes just a thing you do.
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Jul 29, 2014 17:36
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Third Murderer posted:Wow, what a jackass. I bet he wouldn't have said anything if you'd had some chicken with veggies on the side, either, even though the only difference is how they're physically arranged on the plate. Definitely keep up with counting calories - it gets easier and easier with time as you get used to it and it becomes just a thing you do. Yeah. I mean you can definitely have a 'salad' that's just a fat delivery system - had a coworker who used to have a 3:1 ratio of toppings to greens, but this was mostly just a chicken caesar with little in the way of dressing. In any event, so far it's going well and it's honestly been way less of a pain in the rear end than I thought it would be. I would highly recommend to anyone watching this thread to just start trying it for a couple days because it's pretty really interesting to understand how much stuff is and how much I can still have, as long as I don't eat a shitton of it.
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Jul 29, 2014 17:47
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Falcon2001 posted:exercise is painful currently and I don't have a lot of time for it currently You really ought to make time for it though. You're always going to be busy, and starting to exercise will always leave you feeling awful for a bit if you're out of shape. You said you like swimming but you're using your stretch marks as an excuse not to, so try getting up an hour earlier and hitting the pool for an hour or so every morning. Pools tend to be pretty empty in the morning, you can focus on the hammerheads to help with perceived attention. A good portion of the things you listed as being downsides of being fat also stem from being out of shape and if you want to fix them you have to decide that you want that more than you're afraid of/don't want to exercise. There will always be an excuse for you to justify not starting to yourself, you just need to push through that.
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Jul 29, 2014 18:00
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I flew yesterday and was this close to having to ask for a seatbelt extender. It took me a solid five minutes repositioning everything to make it work. I'm flying a lot next year and it should be motivation to lose weight but I just keep thinking about how much it'll suck instead of looking at my schools gym hours. I suck pretty hard right now 
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Jul 29, 2014 18:21
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Falcon2001 posted:I'm probably going to regret posting in here because I guarantee I'm going to end up in one of the fat threads, but here goes. Your story sounds a lot like mine. Seriously, all this stuff: Falcon2001 posted:* My sex drive is pretty much shot and it's a big disappointment to my wife. She wants it regularly, like every other day, and I'm in the mood every week or so, max. ALL OF IT also applied to me, and more, so if you're getting redtexted, so am I, bro. Here's the good news: other than still not wandering around my house topless (loose skin is not sexy), everything else is fixed, and more. I used to snore, every night. I don't snore at all anymore. I could go through lists and lists of stuff that just got better. Sex drive? Oh yeah. Fat turns testosterone into estrogen, which in turns lowers your sex drive. Guess what happens when you start dropping fat? Here, I'll go one past you in the embarrassment department. I am the opposite of well-endowed. At my former weight, many positions we used to enjoy were simply impossible for us. Now we can do all that stuff again. It's loving awesome. Literally. I started a little heavier than you, and my knees fuckin hurt all the time before I started exercising. Which is why I say: start exercising. I know it's tough at first, but your leg muscles will gain strength surprisingly quickly. Walk lots. Walk everywhere. I get razzed quite a bit about the treadmill thing, but it helped so much, you really have no idea. Stop feeling ashamed. Overweight is just a state of being, and you can change it. That rear end in a top hat who gave you poo poo about chicken on a salad? He's a loving idiot, and probably wants you to fail. Ignore the gently caress out of those people. Hang in there. Get stronger. You can do it!
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Jul 29, 2014 18:36
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Man are you saying my sex drive will go up even more if I lose more weight? Man gently caress that.
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Jul 29, 2014 18:43
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Godsped posted:I flew yesterday and was this close to having to ask for a seatbelt extender. It took me a solid five minutes repositioning everything to make it work. Hey man I was in the same boat on the way to Mexico when I flew, except for I couldn't get it buckled and decided gently caress it and hit it under a fat roll, they never noticed. Sounds like on the food front you have the same poo poo I have going on, what I am doing that helps me is buying groceries/cooking meals and then immediately portioning them out. I write on a piece of masking tape/ziploc what it is and how big the size is. Then when I finally eat it first thing before I put food in my mouth is I track it on my phone. This way I see where I am at for calories and sodium (screw having high blood pressure) so far for that day. I also am very much in the hate exercise camp as well but I have been going every day to swim since that is the least painful/sweaty cardio I can get in and it is summertime. If you don't want to take your shirt off find a cheap rashguard/swim shirt. Also doing the elliptical is not as hard on us fatties it seems so you could try that if you don't like the water/sun. Mind you this is my 2nd week dieting/exercising so time will tell.
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Jul 29, 2014 19:08
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ChairMaster posted:Man are you saying my sex drive will go up even more if I lose more weight? Man gently caress that. True story, if you're a guy: it's like being 14 all over again. But you have to lift a things.
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Jul 29, 2014 19:23
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Godsped posted:I flew yesterday and was this close to having to ask for a seatbelt extender. It took me a solid five minutes repositioning everything to make it work. I remember the day I had to ask for a seat belt extender. It was ten minutes of trying to get it to work (it was only millimeters from clicking) plus anxiety that the attendants were going to kick me off the plane. Eventually I asked for one and the attendant was really nice about it. It was a terrible day for me due to the embarrassment and the experience ruined my vacation as I knew I'd have to face the same thing flying back. It's easier to ask the second time and after, but it's still frustrating to do so. Eventually I just bought one for personal use just in case, and the case turned out to be by the time I bought one, I didn't need one anymore. Buying an extender does give piece of mind. I suppose buying an extender is an option, but it's more of a short-term solution than a long-term one (plus some flights may ask you not to use it, as it's not FAA regulated). Eventually, though, you should look at working out- it doesn't have to be suck. Just go for thirty minutes and do something, anything that has movement. Or change your diet- track your food and cut even the smallest thing out once a week (that's what I did in order to make the flight back home a couple weeks later). By the time you fly next year, you should be able to fit much more comfortably in a seat. 
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Jul 29, 2014 21:07
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I PROMISE you, to the point where I will come to your house and cook any meal that you want if it ends up not being true, that if you stick with exercising for a month that it will become routine and if you stop you will miss it. Just a month. Four weeks. 30 days, give or take. Just stick with whatever X times a week you decide to do, and then DO IT. The first month is always the hardest. After that it becomes routine- AND after a month you don't suck as much as you did on the first day so it becomes easier, too! And Falcon, you DESERVE to feel better. You DESERVE to go swimming whenever you want and enjoy your time in the pool. You DESERVE to have a sex drive that is in line with your wife's needs. You DESERVE to be able to walk up stairs without breathing hard (it's possible! I've been there!). You DESERVE to eat good food that tastes good and that you enjoy, that also is in line with your caloric needs and supports a healthy lifestyle. Falcon, you are a wonderful human being RIGHT NOW, fat and stretch marks and getting winded going up the stairs and all. And because you are a wonderful human being, just like everyone else, you DESERVE to feel as good as you want to feel and look as good as you want to look- and it's possible for you to feel good and look good. And you can take the first step towards that, and the next step, and the step after that, and all of the steps that you need to take to get there. You CAN do it. You possess, within yourself, the ability to do that. And when you take those steps we will be here cheering you on. Because you DESERVE to be happy, just like everyone else. Don't listen to your depression, man, gently caress that noise. You deserve to be comfortable in your own body, and you can take the steps that you need to take to make your body comfortable and enjoyable and exactly what you want it to be. 30 Goddamned Dicks fucked around with this message at 21:56 on Jul 29, 2014 |
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Jul 29, 2014 21:49
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Yeah, not going to argue about the exercise thing because I know you guys are right, but on the wonderful human being part, here's my thoughts on it, and I suspect others have the same issue: None of those words have anything to do with my mental state about this. The way I feel about myself is a universal constant, as real and unchangeable as gravity and the speed of light in a vacuum. I hear people say stuff like this and I just know 'they're wrong, you don't deserve to be happy'. I recognize that this is hosed up in an academic sort of sense, and that's why I'm going to try and get therapy at some point. I think it's probably worth noting that for a lot of folks, especially for those that have dealt with it for a while, self-loathing is not just an action, it's an ingrained part of yourself that feels as true as anything ever does and all the 'man you're great' or 'you deserve to not be upset' doesn't even scratch it. Sorry
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Jul 29, 2014 22:23
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Falcon2001 posted:Yeah, not going to argue about the exercise thing because I know you guys are right, but on the wonderful human being part, here's my thoughts on it, and I suspect others have the same issue: I know man, I've been there. I know the words seem empty. Keep reading them and repeating them to yourself until they no longer feel empty. And yes, get yourself to therapy stat, and feel free to come back here when you need to.
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Jul 29, 2014 22:33
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Falcon2001 posted:Yeah, not going to argue about the exercise thing because I know you guys are right, but on the wonderful human being part, here's my thoughts on it, and I suspect others have the same issue: I know what you mean. When I was depressed I heard the words "it will get better" and, while I knew people were being truthful in theory, it just sounded empty and hollow... like an advertising slogan or something that was kind of irrelevant or meant for other people. It's like someone's knocking on a window and you can see them knocking, but it's not making a sound. Honestly though, the more you can repeat that kind of thing to yourself, the better. It will get better, you deserve not to feel like this, it is possible to heal. For me, I just got home one day and thought "wow, some of that was actually enjoyable." It was the first time I enjoyed ANYTHING, even for a minute, for ~5 months. Therapy helps, as does medication. I certainly don't think depression is something you can think your way out of, or pull yourself out of by your bootstraps, but I do think that clinging to, or listening to, or perhaps attempting to believe, those kind of reassuring positive statements reduces the unpleasantness of the experience, however numb those statements feel at the time.
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Jul 29, 2014 23:05
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Falcon2001 posted:Yeah, not going to argue about the exercise thing because I know you guys are right, but on the wonderful human being part, here's my thoughts on it, and I suspect others have the same issue: It seems counter-intuitive, but the best way to get yourself out of feeling like that is to exercise! Not only will it boost your morale by improving yourself, but you will also be releasing sweet sweet endocannabinoids in your brain that will boost your pleasure levels and make you feel a lot better. 5 x 30 minutes of moderate exercise or 3 x 30 of vigorous exercise is proven to do tremendous in terms of boosting happiness in depressed patients through clinical tests.
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Jul 29, 2014 23:32
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Twee as gently caress posted:It seems counter-intuitive, but the best way to get yourself out of feeling like that is to exercise! Not only will it boost your morale by improving yourself, but you will also be releasing sweet sweet endocannabinoids in your brain that will boost your pleasure levels and make you feel a lot better. 5 x 30 minutes of moderate exercise or 3 x 30 of vigorous exercise is proven to do tremendous in terms of boosting happiness in depressed patients through clinical tests. On top of that, getting back into shape, taking care of yourself, and losing weight are all accomplishments you'll be able to look back on. Saying that you "don't deserve" something can be rephrased as saying that you haven't earned that. It's a lot easier to be push off thoughts like "I don't deserve to be happy" when you can rebut that by pointing out that you've lost 50 lbs and should you maintain your focus on that will be a healthy weight/run a marathon/whatever future goal in X time.
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Jul 30, 2014 01:34
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ChairMaster posted:Man are you saying my sex drive will go up even more if I lose more weight? Man gently caress that. I've been lifting weight and while I wasn't fat to begin with, I've cut a decent amount of fat as a side-effect of gaining muscle, and lately, I'm lasting two to three times longer with my wife in bed these days. Being fit really is a hell of an experience, especially the first time you glance at a mirror and see muscles sliding under your skin like a network of pistons and cables where you didn't see them before. That's a motivation booster right there. Pretty sure the first time it happened, I dropped what I was doing and went to the gym right then and there. Gindack posted:(screw having high blood pressure) This also came right under control a month after I started lifting. No meds helped it and simply losing weight did nothing to lower it. Both my parents and both sets of grandparents, as well as my aunts and uncles all have high blood pressure, but once I started lifting, it just shot down to normal range and has stayed there. Seriously, after lifting or running 5k these days, I still feel like I have a ton of energy to spare. I usually use it to take the dog out at night and wear her out so she'll let me sleep, which I now do like a corpse thanks to my nose not becoming congested all night, something else that has vanished since I started lifting. The Bible fucked around with this message at 02:09 on Jul 30, 2014 |
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Jul 30, 2014 02:01
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I have more questions! - For those of you who have lost weight, how did you manage hunger? - Has hunger always been at the same intensity or has it eased as you've lost weight/hit plateaus? - For those of you who haven't lost weight, how do you see hunger, and how does hunger impact your eating (say, vs. boredom or emotional coping)?
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Jul 30, 2014 04:10
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For those of you who have lost weight, how did you manage hunger? It was actually pretty easy - since my eating habits before hand were always based on boredom/emotion and not actual hunger. I am still in the process of losing weight, obviously, but now I drink water to quell hunger, since that's usually what the problem is to begin with (lack of hydration). I still very seldom get hungry on any kind of intense basis, which is kind of weird. Usually I have other more pressing sources of discomfort (headaches almost 90% of the time). Has hunger always been at the same intensity or has it eased as you've lost weight/hit plateaus? It's roughly the same intensity as before but I find it much easier to ignore after having shed some pounds. It's like having a cat that just meows all night, ignore it or it will end up controlling you.
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Jul 30, 2014 04:36
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messagemode1 posted:I have more questions! I can't remember the last time I really felt hungry. The better term for what I usually feel before a meal is Not Full. The experience is different for everyone of course.
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Jul 30, 2014 06:23
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I was never morbidly obese, but I was definitely obese. Right now, my weight is climbing back up to a bad, bad place. There's a couple reasons for this, and they're entirely of my own doing. More on that later. I'm trying to write this out as honestly as possible. As I speak, I've had, I'd say, about ten shots of whiskey. They're 'mini shots,' as in half ounce shots. But I take 19 of them a night. That's 900 calories, at the very least. Alcohol will do some poo poo to your waistline. The only reason I mention this is that someone mentioned the 'food addiction' thing, and addiction being a loaded word. While, yes, it's loaded, and it makes it sound like it's diminishing towards more "serious" addictions, I will say as a class-A alcoholic who's looking to go into rehab as soon as my working situation allows for it that the stories described here are absolutely, one hundred percent, describing addiction. Someone talked about that first taste of ice cream and how amazing that was. That's what a functioning alcoholic craves from their first shot of whiskey after a long work day. It's amazingly satisfying. It really is. The first hit off a cigarette in the morning fits the same bill. And you're right, you keep running after it. The one and only difference is that, in my case, I could die on the spot if I keep chasing it, but that's where the word 'functional' comes in. Also, I get the 'benefit' of hiding it. Until recently. You see, drinking is increasing my waistline, after I fought really goddamn hard to shrink it down. It's ruining my life in other ways, as well, but the emotional side of the alcohol portion of this post has ended; that's for the withdrawal thread. When I was a teenager, I was 240lbs, at 5'10". Not terrible, but not great, and I was shaped like the liberty bell at that weight, so that didn't do a whole lot for my already lovely self-confidence (and my clothes were partly to blame, but I wasn't about to get caught in form-fitting clothes). Given some hormonal problems and what have you, I've shifted in and out of depression on a rapid cycle that got misdiagnosed as bipolar more than a few times, the medications for which didn't do jack squat for me during the cyclical periods, and often made me go for food comfort, since I was a fat slob that wasn't getting any intimacy. I dated online for a bit, met a girl, moved out of the house, and after taking initiative, magically stopped eating like it was going out of style. I stopped drinking soda, as well. I dropped 50lbs over five months. Stress had a lot to do with that drop. When I went back to my hometown (the move was a bad idea for many reasons, but a good thing overall) I hovered around 180-170 for a while, then dropped to 160 after regulating my diet a bit more. Not a bad range, overall, but I hated the way I looked. My second go with a girlfriend bombed after that, and I started puffing up again. When I finally went to a doctor for an unrelated condition, the scale made me panic. I was nearing 180. I thought I was going to shoot back up to 240, and immediately started to diet and exercise as much as possible. Since I was in my early 20's, dropping down to 140 from 180 took five months. It's ten years later, now, and trying to regulate both a need for food stimulus (sugars/fats/whatever), and, well, alcohol, is a loving trial, one I don't expect sympathy for. I got myself into this mess on several fronts, and, like many other people on this thread have said, you need to get yourself out. At the moment, I'm back to sitting at around 170, but that's why the detox is needed. Most of the 'food' I intake is alcohol, and eating enough to not have my heart flutter from anemia basically makes me fatten up again. The worst part is the feeling of bloat, like something under your skin is trying to escape, that you're not supposed to be this shape. The feeling is one that's made me wonder about how obese people feel, as well. When I sit in my chair and type this, I am acutely aware of my formerly-loose-skin-now-paunch hanging over my belt. I am aware of my bare arms jiggling as I type. I'm aware of warmth from my lower abdomen pressing against my thighs. I'm aware of my thighs spreading out against the chair like my skin is barely containing a water balloon filled with Crisco. Does that just become white noise? Is it as uncomfortable for any of the respondents as it is for me? Do you notice it on a daily basis and just say 'this is normal anyway' as part of the denial process? The reason I ask is because of the things I noted above. I'm aware of what my own addiction is doing to me, and always have been. I haven't wanted to admit it until recently. But I suppose I have a weird perspective on it, since I've always regulated my diet, and been very careful to stay on top of it, but it's another addiction entirely that's taking over, and adding to my overall waistline, in a way that I thought I'd gotten over in general. I hope I'm making sense. It took way more effort than I'd like to admit to write this up. But I did want to at least add my two cents in regards to the things I've seen here regarding food_want, and my own experience with having been through two rounds of me vs. chemical addiction, which... Well. Is basically what food addiction is anyway, given the brain-highs it gives off. It just does it on a different level, overall. I'm living with a guy who is chronically depressed, and sublimates his discontent with boxes of cookies. They're full in the evening, gone by morning. I liken it to my bottles of whisky. We all sublimate our (whatever) with (whatever). It's just a matter of finding the will to get the gently caress over it, no matter how goddamn difficult it is (or feels like it is). EDIT: The Door Frame I completely relate. When I was younger I used to be the ~world class butterfly champ~ on my swim team, and I find myself wishing I could go back to it, especially since being this weight with complications makes me feel generally terrible. Trying to butterfly the last time I was in a pool felt like all I was doing was tearing my shoulders out of their sockets the next day. EDIT 2: Hm. I think I answered my own question of 'feeling the weight' after pondering it. When I was 240 as a youngin', I can't remember noticing the physical discomfort all that acutely, and being attractive didn't really register on my radar, since I figured I was unattractive from the get-go. I only ever noticed my weight when I sat down really heavily on a chair and there was a noticeable shake in the floor, enough that the teacher was startled, and tried not to be startled after she saw the reaction I had. After losing all of it, I became acutely aware of any changes in my body, and equally aware of loose skin (which I likened to 'still being fat'). PigsEye fucked around with this message at 06:48 on Jul 30, 2014 |
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Jul 30, 2014 06:32
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messagemode1 posted:I have more questions! - Last year when I lost 5-6kg, hunger was a massive problem at the start, which I fixed by making high protein snacks. - I find when I start deliberately restricting my intake I tend to start feeling extremely hungry, particularly because my portion sizes are smaller and the foods I eat are less energy-dense. Over time I go from really hungry to really thirsty. - I don't usually eat because I'm hungry, I eat because I'm in the habit of eating something at a particular time. Match this with stress eating and ta-da, hello fatty!
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Jul 30, 2014 06:42
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messagemode1 posted:- For those of you who have lost weight, how did you manage hunger? 1) I managed by switching up what I ate. I ate what made me feel a "good" kind of full, not a bloated kind of full. I noticed that when I ate pizza, I felt like I'd eaten a grease-coated rock. I noticed that when I ate a spinach, cheese, salami and meager-amount-of-dressing (jalapeno ranch) wrap (in a flour tortilla), I felt satisfied and full. I stuck with what made me feel satisfied and energized, and tried to incorporate as much foods that had the greatest amount of nutrition. Eating smaller portions ever four hours, or breaking up a full meal so I'd eat every two hours, made the hunger much more manageable. I knew I could eat every two hours if I wanted, even if the sacrifice was that I wouldn't be able to eat as much for (any given meal of the day). 2) The more good things I ate, the more my hunger pangs regulated. It was surprising how correlated it was to the types of nutrition I was going after. The more vitamin-heavy/good-for-you (whatever) I ate, well... The hunger was eliminated. Cravings are still there no matter what, though. I had to tell my ex to leave the room if he wanted to eat McDonalds, or some sugary-rear end treat that had way too much high-fructose in it for me to handle, because I definitely wanted them, and it sucked to watch someone else - a someone else who is constantly in close quarters with you - eat it right there in front of you without gaining a pound. 3) It's all about stimulus when it's not boredom. See above post for all other reasons, but when it comes right down to it? If you're feeling isolated, awful, and generally depressed, that stimulus of a piece of cake, or a cookie, or whatever, is loving amazing. PigsEye fucked around with this message at 07:02 on Jul 30, 2014 |
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Jul 30, 2014 06:59
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messagemode1 posted:I have more questions! - eating a fuckton of fiber and protein - drinking water all the goddamn time - eating small snacks between meals (ymmv, I hear a lot of people say this is "bullshit" but it helped me) - making drat good and sure I got enough sleep every night Has hunger always been at the same intensity or has it eased as you've lost weight/hit plateaus? I am less hungry, on the whole, now that I'm on a constant calorie deficit than I was before I started losing weight. It definitely seems odd to me, but I think the hunger response is a relatively fragile thing in human physiology and can be broken pretty easily.
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Jul 30, 2014 10:53
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