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Full disclosure: I mock fat people. A lot. Not to their/your faces, usually in threads like the fat-shaming one in GBS or with friends. Actually I do make fun of my fat friends to their faces but I've also helped a handful of them go from morbidly obese/overweight to a healthy size. I use fat acceptance movement posts and pictures as motivation to work out even harder. I've been fit all of my life save for gaining a 20-30 pounds after an accident forced me to spend some weeks in a wheelchair and physical rehabilitation. I felt so disgusted with myself and terrible being merely a few pounds overweight that as soon as I got the OK from my physicians I immediately started training as much as I could and lost them as quickly as could. After my accident and reflecting on how I felt like when I was out of shape as well as the obesity pandemic going on in the last couple of years, I've decided to spend the rest of my life to help train people so they are fit, and help people lose weight. I'm gonna be getting a personal trainer certification this autumn, and gonna switch the rest of my studies starting next winter in phys ed. I'm not sure whether I'm going to be a gym teacher, work in a gym or go for physical rehabilitation yet, but I genuinely want to help people get better. Vyst is a great poster in the fat-shaming thread, and he's lost an incredible 250 pounds in the last few years due to changing his diet and exercising and he's been posting a lot of really interesting (and terrifying for me) stories about what it's like to be morbidly obese. It made me realize that if I want to spend the rest of my life helping others get healthy and fit, I should learn what life is like for the people I plan to help. Specifically I would like to know hear from morbidly obese goons, or former morbidly obese goons. I'm not talking about having 40-50 pounds too many. I'm talking being 70-100lbs, 200lbs, 300lbs overweight. When doing what I consider absolutely normal every day activities becoming daunting tasks. I think that by reading more about how difficult it can be, I can gain some compassion and it's gonna help me help others in the future. Please share your stories, your struggle, how you got there, why you got there, why you think you're still there. Share anything you think is relevant and that thin/fit people have no idea what your life is like. never realized that so many of you lurked in the fat-shaming thread in GBS, so I wanted to ask as well: How do you feel about the it? Is it a thread you read at all/often? Do you use it as a source of motivation, does it make you feel actual shame? Is it a positive tool for you or anger-inducing or both? Please, if you want to mock fat people, fat-shame or tell people to exercise more, go to GBS and do it there. I want testimonies and for people to explain what they are going through/went through, I don't want them attacked for sharing their experiences. Thank you. This is A/T so A/T rules apply here. edit: although it was not originally intended as such, exercise/how to lose weight keeps coming off so I have a quick handy FAQ/resources for those inspired by this thread. Feel free to disregard if you're not interested! Question: I've heard that 95% of diets fail. I've always been fat and can't possibly be part of those lucky 5% Why should I even bother? Answer: That statistic is based on a self-reported study from 1957 with 100 participants. Actual studies have shown that the fatter you are and more weight you lose, the likelier you are to keep it off for a decade plus (there has not yet been any study that's more than a decade or two yet, afaik). It's because people who try to lose 15-20 pounds usually do it for vanity reason and resume eating crap after the summer is over, while people who are losing 40+ are usually doing it because they are trying to change their lives. When you stop seeing weight loss as 'This is a temporary thing until I get smaller then I can eat crap again' and instead 'I need to change my relationship to food and exercise so I can live a long and healthier live and not die 14 years earlier on average than I would if I were not obese', then chances of the weight loss sticking go up exponentially Question: Yeah but how? Paleo, Keto, McDo, so many fad diets I just don't know what to do? Do I really need to eat raw steak and drink 1 liter of honey a week but avoid white bread? How do you lose weight? Answer: You lose weight by eating less than your body requires. It really is as simple as 'Calories in, Calories out'. If your body requires 2500 calories to maintain its current weight and you eat 3000 a day, you will gain a pound a week. If you eat 2000 a day, you will lose a pound a week. It doesn't matter if your calories come from the freshest kale and chicken you slaughtered yourself or from eating ice cream and po boys. You will lose weight or gain it based on those calories. Question: So you're saying I can stay in bed all week, eat only ice cream and lose weight just like I would if I busted my rear end in the gym 6 days a week as long as I keep my calories in check? Answer: Yes. The difference is that the first will make you thin but sick, while the second while make you fit and healthy. So do the mature thing and hit the gym (you can still eat ice cream, just not buckets) Question: Counting calories seems like a real pain in the rear end though. Answer: Thanks to the internet, it's never been easier to keep your weight in check. Personally, I recommend you either get an account at Livestrong's My Plate or My Fitness Pal although there are others. Some websites even have barcode scanner so you can just scan things you eat on the go and enter the calories on your phone. It's a process that will take you literally between 2 to 5 minutes a day, and can help you tremendously and insure literally decades more of healthy living. Question: Anything else I should know? Answer: You need to be honest. If you start counting calories, don't think 'Oh well it's just one bar of chocolate/piece of cake/apple I don't need to factor it in. You do. Secret Eating is 95% of the reason why you'll hit a plateau and seemingly stopped losing weight. It's not that you have a bad metabolism, it's that you're eating more than you're logging, or doing less physical activity than you do. The key to success is to overstate your calories and to understate your workouts. Not sure if you ate 2 or 3 tablespoon of peanut butter? Enter 3.5 tablespoons. You ran for 30 minutes? Log in 25. Question: I really do have a lovely metabolism, though Answer: Maybe you do. However people who have the slowest metabolism have to calculate around three hundred calories less a day than average. 300 calories is about a bar of chocolate and a half a day. Even if you have terrible metabolism staying in shape is extremely easy. If you have a thyroid condition, it might account to between 8 to 10 extra pounds and all of this can be kept in check thanks to medication. As I said earlier, the most important thing is to be honest with yourself. If you are fat, you eat too much. That's all there is to it in the end. Resources: Counting Calories Livestrong's My Plate My Fitness Pal Level up your life through exercise Fitocracy General diet and nutrition megathread Here GBS diet, nutrition and shaming megathread Here (no seriously come ask any questions about anything 75% of the posts are about nutrition and fitness on any given day) Inspirational Ultimate Transformations r/ProgressPics Small Successes thread r/LoseIt Twee as Fuck fucked around with this message at 20:10 on Jul 13, 2014 |
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Jul 11, 2014 17:56
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vyst posted:Every time I ate another 15 dollars worth of McDonalds for dinner I would think to myself "I wonder if this is the one that will kill me", but it wouldn't stop me from consuming it. See it's things like that that blow my mind. You sound like you were absolutely miserable, you knew you were killing yourself but you were still going through the motions three times a day. I mean you can literally change the words 'of McDonalds for dinner' with 'heroin' and you sound like you're describing the painful trials of junkies who stopped having fun a long time ago and just can't stop themselves from shooting up. Is that a common thing. Do people who get so big that they reach 400-500 just living happy lives and still really enjoying their foods, or is it all just a defeatist 'my life sucks and pretty much the only temporary pleasure I get is from food, so I might as well keep eating until I die'? Can others chime in?
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Jul 11, 2014 18:32
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vyst posted:It's a mix of defeatism and comfort. Food was a substitute for real feelings- filling in gaps for anger, loneliness, fear, you name it. Food will never let you down so it was easy to retreat to it and the foods I chose were readily accessible and quick. It would make a lot of sense, since people who become alcoholics or addicted to drugs don't usually become like that because they enjoy doing drugs but because they are trying to flee from some kind of emotional (or more rarely, physical) problem plaguing them, so what you described in that first line is exactly what I'd expect someone who was addicted to those things to say if they were honest about why they do/did what they do/did. If anyone else is or became morbidly obese and wants to discuss having an unhealthy relationship with food as a moral crutch I'd really appreciate it too
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Jul 11, 2014 19:19
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Thank you for sharing, meataidstheft! If you don't mind, I have three questions (and feel free to disregard either if you don't feel comfortable answering them): 1) Was there a singular moment where you decided 'That's it, I can't live my life like this anymore', or an accumulation of events in a relatively short period of time, or you just got gradually more fed up? 2) Your obesity seems directly related to the emotional issues you mentioned. Did you seek therapy before you started the weight loss, in conjunction with it, or not that all? 3) In terms of getting back in shape, can you give me a bit more details what you're doing (like, are you tracking calories, just cutting certain foods, etc...) I was gonna ask what you thought was the absolute worst thing being at your fattest, but it clearly seems to be the fingers!
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Jul 12, 2014 00:21
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Thank you so much for all of the stories so far, I've got some questions with individuals posts that I'll post soon, but I wanted people to answer another question if they don't mind (and I've updated the OP to reflect that) because I didn't realize how many of you lurked it without posting so I'll ask everyone: How do you feel about the fat-shaming thread in GBS? Do you read it at all/frequently? Is it a motivation or source of shame or motivation through shame?
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Jul 13, 2014 12:32
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Goobish posted:Hi I'm fat. It wasn't always this way. I actually grew up very thin, and was able to stay thin until I became pregnant at 18. I put on something ridiculous like 60-70 pounds. It's been a struggle ever since. I'm 5'8 and the heaviest I became was 223. I'm not entirely sure, but I think that is right at the "morbidly obese" mark. But it was fat enough for me to start having major issues because of the fat. How old are you now, if you don't mind me asking? Also, were you just thin and lazy, or thin and fit? Because if you were the latter, it's honestly people like you who blow my mind. Like, I can wrap my head around a fat child of fat parents who was always fat but knew otherwise, but it's those people who were thin and fit who let themselves get to morbid obesity that I just can't understand. As I said earlier, after a bad accident I gained some weight, not too bad like maybe 30 pounds but I felt so terrible, sluggish and disgusted with myself that I couldn't imagine myself ever staying like that, even less get fatter. I imagine that for you, it was a vicious cycle of gaining all that extra weight during pregnancy with the crazy hormones and what not (because 60-70 extra pounds is most definitely not the average) and then post-partum depression and then just never really getting out of that funk? It's not exactly the same thing as letting yourself go, obviously, but since you know what it's like to be thinner and healthier, did you not think 'I can't stand this I need to lose it as fast as possible' or anything like that? quote:His theory is that if we tackle the chronic fatigue and fattiness maybe the depression will also lift. Sounds a little far fetched Actually it's not far-fetched at all. It's scientifically proven that 5 x 30 minutes of moderate to vigorous physical activity a week provoke the release of endocannabinoid which not only help stabilize mood but also boost feelings of happiness. Both the extra endocannabinoid and boost of self-esteem will get from not being overweight anymore will get you out of your depression for sure (unless it's an actual chemical imbalance in your brain, but that's clearly not what your doctor think is the problem with you So I'm supposed to eat like this for 5 weeks then he's upping my diet to 1400 calories a day. I JUST started this poo poo yesterday. It is loving hard but I'm doing it. I had already lost 12 pounds just half-assedly trying. So hopefully going full force I'll get some major results. I am not loving giving up. All I have to think about is poking oozy chest holes for motivation (see below). quote:Yes. I personally think it's hosed up. I HATE the way my body looks. Nothing attractive whatsoever. Yet I still get flirtatious dudes (usually older I've noticed), and my boyfriend is definitely a chubby chaser. He voices his concern about me becoming skinny. Not even too skinny, just skinny. And I basically tell him tough poo poo. If I become skinny(ish) again I'll actually think I'm attractive. And I truly loving miss thinking I'm attractive. If you lose weight and your boyfriend tries to get you to pack it on again, he's probably not just a chaser but downright feeder and I would suggest you reconsider your relationship with him. As you said with the story of your father dying and how it impacted him, having a loved one trying to fatten you up is no different than having a relatively actively trying to get an alcoholic on the wagon to start drinking again. You're on the path back to help, which is important not only for you but your child(ren), as children with overweight parents have a staggering 80% chance of becoming overweight themselves. quote:At first I felt shameful. But I found myself agreeing with a lot of the posters. I hate this stupid fat acceptance poo poo. I have no loving idea how someone like me (and bigger!) can look in a mirror and honestly feel content with what they see. It's also a huge motivation. The past couple days I read the fat shame thread and this thread to help ignore hunger pangs. It works! Yeah there is vitriol for sure, but a lot of us also try to write positive and constructive posts and genuinely help people who come in the thread saying 'I'm fat I want to stop how do I do that?' Good luck with everything! Hopefully in a few months to a year's time, you'll be posting your picture in the Ultimate Transformation thread in YLLS. I highly suggest you read it, read the previous one, subscribe to both threads and also visit places like r/progresspics. The fat-shaming thread is good motivation for sure, but it's also really important to see what so many people do and how its attainable for everyone and how great it's like to turn your life around
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Jul 13, 2014 15:29
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Liar posted:Despite being fat though I'm insanely energetic. I run up and down ladders like a monkey at work. I'll spend an entire day kayaking, hiking, or playing some basketball. I honestly love walking. Oh, and I can do a full goddamn split. It blows people's goddamn minds! I'm not attacking you in any way, but do you notice that you first started talking about energetic you are, only to follow it up about spending days just sitting in front of the computer doing nothing? Could it be that you're not, in fact, as energetic as you think you might be, and that might contribute to your current obesity? Especially when you mention how when you were going at the gym 5 days a week with a controlled diet it was the best you've felt in years? quote:My other big issue is that I'm hungry ALL THE GODDAMN TIME. No matter how much I eat it feels like I'll starve to death. I'll eat a whole pizza as a snack. I feel embarrassed when I go to the buffet because I eat until I feel like I'm going to throw up. It's honestly like my stomach has no sense of when its had enough beyond me being in pain from over eating. The desire to eat is overwhelming. I imagine it's what a drug addict feels like. The second I realize I'm hungry I can't think of anything else. I would second going to the doctor, and possibly a mental health professional, to get this checked out. This clearly seems to be a huge problem for you and could be sign of a severe disease or problems you need to take care ASAP quote:I actually was on track towards a healthier lifestyle. I'd gone down to 270, was hitting the gym five days a week, and was eating only 1600 calories a day of homemade food (no soda, or prepared, or fast food). Leaving for work out of state disrupted this, and since then for the life of me I can't motivate again. It really, really depresses me because it was honestly the best I've felt in so long. You clearly hate the way you feel, you've been 50 pounds lighter and felt better than you had for years and years, and today you find yourself with no motivation to start that process again. What do you feel is missing that would get you off the couch and in the gym again? Gindack posted:I am currently 380 and 5'10 and haver been overweight since I have been 14. Main reason I got this way, still am here is just due to laziness and complacency. Just recently I have realized how truly unhappy I am with myself and now I am trying to change it but I fear it is just too late unless I do something drastic (surgery or hiring a personal chef). Unless you are going to drop dead in 6 months, it's never too late to change. Vyst has been able to shed off 250 pounds in a couple of years, and he's not even done! You've got 120 pounds on him, so imagine what you could achieve in a couple of years. Two years from now, on this very date, you could be 5'10 and weighing 170 pounds. Two weeks from now, you could easily be 370-372 pounds. Two months from now, you could be 350 pounds. In six months, you could be sub-300s and never again hit those dreadful numbers on a scale ever again. Something really great when someone your size decides to lose weight is that it will literally fly off those first few months. By merely changing your diet and nothing else you could be losing 10-15 pounds a month like it's nothing and sustain that loss for months on end. The only thing you need is the desire, to say that 'Today is the first day of the rest of my life' and act on it. Honestly I would advise against getting an operation unless a doctor tells you it's a matter of life and death for a very simple reason: if you don't work to change yourself, if you don't sweat it and you don't really work for it, you're never going to be able to keep it. All studies of weight loss have shown that the bigger the weight loss and the bigger the effort, the more chances you will be able to sustain that weight loss and keep your active lifestyle a decade from now. That's why I have no trouble believing that Vyst will never be fat again. He's worked so hard for it, made so many sacrifices, for the rest of his life he's going to continue appreciating his newfound fit body and never again let himself slide back. If he had an operation, most likely he would have backslid because it wouldn't have come from him. quote:I hate cooking and the clean up so trying to make healthy stuff is very hard for me to get off my lazy rear end and do it. The amount of money I spend eating out is insane (avg 500 month easy) and I usually eat fast food which is terrible. I have been trying recently to go to the gym and eat better once a day (Chipotle instead of Mcds) but even that is difficult for me to do as I am so set in my ways. The gym is the hardest part because even low impact exercise like the elliptical machine hurts, the only thing that doesn't is swimming. That's it, though, at the end of the day the change has to come from you. If you're stuck in your ways, you have to realize that your ways are sending you to an early grave. I've got good news for you, though: swimming is one of the best physical activities you can do to burn fat! Even better news: at your weigh, hitting the gym right now is not your priority. Changing your diet is what will get you thin, exercising is what will get you fit. The most important step for you, if you decide to turn your life around today, is to count your calories, NEVER eat something you don't log in, and follow it every day. The weight will fly off of you like crazy and six months to a year from now, when you're hitting around 280 pounds you can start thinking about getting serious at the gym (until then, keep hitting the pool though!). Register on MyPlate or MyFitnessPal and they will tell you exactly how much you need to eat every day to lose three pounds without having to do anything, even get out of bed. The embarrassing/lovely things you mentioned (and honestly they all sound terrible) could be a very bad memory a year from now, and a vague bad dream a few years from now. The only day it's too late to turn your life around is when you're in the grave. All the best and by all means keep posting here or the fat-shaming thread if you want motivation and advice. YLLS is also chockful of great threads for motivation and knowing how to turn your life around. I've got PM so if you want me to help you keep you motivated just PM me I'll be more than happy to help you, I genuinely love doing it and want to make it my life's purpose (that's an open invitation for anyone) Good luck, and get better!
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Jul 13, 2014 15:51
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Shoshie posted:I know this isn't the "morbidly obese" story that you were looking for, Twee, but you said that you were looking for help as a gym teacher. Most kids like me, especially fatties, are going to be resistant to exercising and losing weight, simply because when someone does tell you to, even if they have the best intentions, to me, anyway, it felt like they were making fun of me. That along with the PE teachers constant emphasis on competition, and being the best, versus being the best YOU that you can be, and being thin versus being fit, it really turned me off and may have possibly been some of the reason for my psychosis. Perhaps I'm just too sensitive. Thank you so much for sharing, and this is absolutely the kind of stories I want to hear about. You've just inspired me to make a '[Tell] me about your time in gym class' thread too at some points. I'm glad to read that your problems got sorted out, wish you all the best and to keep focusing on being healthy first and foremost. meataidstheft posted:Of course, it is really disheartening to know people want you to DIE because you let your depression and lovely habits get the best of you. But the reality is I know none of those people would actually come up to me in real life and say anything to my face, and the internet is hyperbole. Yeah I can understand how it would feel disheartening, but I don't think anyone in that thread actually wants fat people to literally drop dead. I think most of the hatred and venom is directed at the fat acceptance people and those to try to make the lifestyle seem glamorous or desirable because a lot of posters in that thread are very health-oriented and to hear people advocate a lifestyle that literally kills people just makes so many of us mad. Obesity reduces your lifespan more than smoking does. It can cut on average 14 years of your life. 14 years, and that's without taking in account the diminished quality of life during those years. So yeah if you read hyperbolic statement don't feel like we're talking about you, especially since you're trying to get your life back on track and you're not in any way embracing FA bullshit. 30 Goddamned Dicks posted:Twee, thank you for making this thread. Hearing stories from others makes me feel like my own experience wasn't unusual and that I am not a failure for having gone through it. Thank you for sharing, you've made amazing progress and I'm glad this thread is helping you! quote:Also one of the hardest things about writing this entire post is that I do not see that much of a difference from my before and after pictures. I feel like all y'all are going to jump on me and tell me I don't look that different and I'm just in denial about how I look, because I have the hardest drat time processing the changes that have happened to my body and in my head I don't feel like I've changed that much. Don't worry no one is gonna jump on you in here! And when you're following a strict diet and strength training, it's not about the numbers on the scale as much as it is your measurements. I can't speak for the others, but those last pics show a clear different from the earlier ones roughly at the same weight but not fit. I understand it can be a long and grueling process, but don't lost faith that it's gonna happen, because it will as long as you stick with it! You're doing incredibly great. quote:How is life different now? This is incredible, and I hope that anyone morbidly obese will read this and use it as inspiration to kickstart their own return to health and realize that all of these things they struggle with, you struggled with but are not a problem anymore.
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Jul 13, 2014 16:37
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Liar posted:It's basically like this; if someone else has planned an event then I'm super excited to do it and I'll be jumping around like I'm half the weight I am. This includes just the general stuff I'm told to do at work. However I have no motivation to do poo poo on my own. So I wind up sitting on my butt, feeling like I shouldn't leave my house because... who the gently caress knows. Coupling that with quote:Then my job sent me away for a week and when I came back it was suddenly like "why bother". and quote:I can't fully explain my adversity towards accepting a doctor's assistance on this. I do have a doctor who I see for yearly physicals. He just kind of bothers me because of his "Oh here's this year's hot new medication..." approach. I would reiterate my advice to go seek help from a professional, most likely a mental health one. If you don't mind (and you don't need to reply to this if you don't want to/don't feel comfortable) that your lack of motivation also affects other aspects of yourself, like your job, your hygiene, your interpersonal relationships etc... This is more or less what you've expressed so far anyway, and that tells me you probably have issues you would do well to discuss with someone who knows what he's talking about and to help you through them. So far for everyone here who reached morbid obesity, it certainly played a major part and dealing with those things certainly proved to be the clincher to send them down a healthier path. A healthy mind in a healthy body and all that. quote:I've also considered things like lap-band surgery, but it seems too pricey. As I mentioned earlier, I really would not suggest the lap band or any other type of surgery as the chances of sliding back into bad habits is incredibly high versus taking the time to work all that weight off. It's gonna be a much slower process but it's a process that will stick for the rest of your life because you will have worked for it. It seems counter-intuitive, but the best way for you to get motivation to get off the couch would be... to get off the couch. It's always hardest at first, but as soon as you've been in the groove for a long period of time without interruption (like taking a week off, if you need to leave for work then keep working out wherever you are with body weight exercises or even just long walks). I felt the difference myself after being out of commission for months and the weight gain after my injury, and yeah my motivation and desire to do anything had dropped down drastically until I finally could get off my butt and started working out again. Those first few weeks sucked, too, but it got infinitely better. The more you exercise and take care about yourself, the better you feel and the more you want to. Saturday is my full rest day and I still ended up going on a 4 miles walk visualizing the 8 miles I'm gonna be running soon. I was up at 6 this morning even after staying up late with friends last night because I was so drat excited to go run. It was raining and I was angry but just saw it was starting to just drizzle so I made myself a protein smoothie and I'm giddy like a child and gonna go for a run. I never felt anything close to this level of excitement after spending months on end forced to sit on my couch and do nothing. The longer I sat and the more pounds I put on, the worst I felt but man as soon as I forced myself to get up that first time and say 'Enough, time to get back in shape' things got exponentially better really quickly. Six months from now, you could feel like you did after those six months of hitting the gym. A year from now, you could feel 5 times as good as that. A couple of years from now you could be looking at pictures of yourself and ask 'Who the gently caress was that?  ' because you'll just have changed so much you'll be a newer, healthier, happier and better person. Good luck trying to find that motivation, and I hope it happens soon, because once you do you'll realize this is the best gift you ever could have given to yourself
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Jul 13, 2014 16:56
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I have updated the OP with a minifaq and relevant linksGoobish posted:The last few years have been hell with my body/mind. It certainly sounds like it  I am glad that things definitely seem to be turning around for you, though. Keep hanging on, and you could find yourself a completely different person soon!quote:I'll watch out for it, but I'm not too worried. I think he definitely prefers fatter chicks, but I'm convinced he'd love me no matter what I look like. If not oh well I'd be hot again so I could just find someone else right lol. That's the perfect attitude to have! quote:Thanks a lot your help is very appreciated! It's amazing how angry and passionate people are about fatness. I didn't realize it made me so angry until the fat shaming thread and writing in here. I think it's good, though. I would never condone being mean to us fatties, but it's like hate the sin and not the sinner type situation. It's my pleasure. As far as the anger/passion people have about it is because obesity literally kills. It's more detrimental to health than smoking is and cuts your lifetime on average by 14 years. That's, again, without taking in account the diminished quality of life. Personally I don't think it's fat people who anger me as much as the Fat Acceptance movement, those who try to normalize it and those who pretend that it's a good thing. I'm completely with you on the hate the sin not the sinner situation. I'd never be mean to a fat person to their face. I've shamed quite a few but that's usually in situations where I'm running outside and really sweating running by them in the park while their sitting down and eating ice cream and I see that flash of self-hatred in their eyes or while doing things they couldn't do because of their weight but it's not like I'm gonna go out of my way not to hurt their feelings by living my life either  Thank you for all of your contributions so far! Liar posted:I can assure you that I smell wonderful and am fantastic at my job (recent promotion to management). However I cannot deny that I have an insanely difficult time meeting people. I don't have anyone who I would consider a friend (outside of family members), and I would have no clue as how to even go about meeting people. I've always been very reluctant to approach others or to speak up. I'm glad to hear about the first two, and saddened to hear about the latter. I hope you can work through your issues, and I will point out that a great way to meet people is by participating in activities like sports leagues, in races or even at the gym, etc... I've made so many friends and acquaintances at sporting events and everyone is usually friendly and happy at those places, because being active is awesome. I hope you manage to get your life back on track, you were getting there once and you can do it again!
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Jul 13, 2014 20:19
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Look, this is a thread where I want the morbidly obese to tell me what their life is like and what problems they face in their day-to-day life. If you want to argue about the laws of thermodynamics, please join us in the GBS thread, in YLLS or in Science and Academia. You are completely wrong and I'll be more than glad (along with dozens of others) to point out why, so please join us there instead. You're not the first one to try and argue against the laws of the universe, and you won't be the last, but let's not do this here. To quote Neil deGrass Tyson: "A weight loss book written by physicists would be 1 sentence long: "Consume calories at a lower rate than your body burns them'" and that really is all there is to the physical component of weight loss. The mental component is the one that is much harder and provides the biggest hurdle for everyone trying to lose weight.
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Jul 15, 2014 21:26
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Zhentar posted:To restate all that from the personal perspective view... she sees me eat as much or more than she does, and usually choosing less healthy foods than she does, and putting forward less effort to get exercise. And I'm a stick while she's very much not. This gets rather frustrating. When she seeks advice for overcoming the challenges she faces trying to lose weight, what she finds are condescending explanations implying it's no harder for her to lose weight than it is for me to keep on being skinny, and not a lot that's actually helpful to anyone that already understands the basic nutrition. And then, frustrated, and fed up with constantly feeling hungry despite barely running a calorie deficit at all, she gives up. Here is a show called 'Secret Eaters' https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pf0Epf_O6EA This is your wife's problem. She's not eating 'equal or even less' than you are and is morbidly obese. While you're around her, she eats equal or less than you do, and when you're not around she keeps on eating. She probably doesn't even realize how much she eats, but she does. If she didn't, she'd be thin. It's not rocket science. It's really easy. As I said, the most important thing when it comes to weight loss is honesty, and either she's not honest with herself, not honest with you, or you're not honest with us. Because there is no way that a woman who eats under her TDEE will keep on gaining weight. Watch that show, make her watch that show, and hopefully she'll realize her problems. I'm not trying to bash you, by the way, what you are doing is very common when it come to thin spouses or relatives of really obese people who try and defend them. You're doing an exaggerated version of this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=to7BMBJR9P4 You have no idea how many times I've heard 'oh she eats better and even less than I do [even though she's 100 pounds heavier than I am]' and it's never true. Laws of physics just don't change based on differing perceptions of reality.
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Jul 15, 2014 22:12
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Fatkraken posted:while I appreciate the weight loss chat, I'd also appreciate the thread going back to the actual subject in the title. Seconding that request. If anyone takes any offense to the FAQ please take it to GBS and YLLS where we'll show why you're completely wrong. Otherwise, let's go back to sharing stories and problems people.
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Jul 15, 2014 22:34
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Zhentar posted:
Except that this system has worked for millions of people ever since you've had people keeping track of them online we can point out to. And the whole scientific body of research on the subject all says that's how you do it. quote:The other issue is that the calorie-centric view encourages poor nutrition choices that can make sticking to the restricted calorie diet much more challenge. For example, rice cakes are sometimes promoted as a good diet snack (only 35 calories!). But they are empty calories, and they'll usually just end up making you more hungry. 'Empty calories' are not a thing. A calorie is a calorie no matter where you get it from, the reason why you'll be hungry after eating a 35 calories snack cake is because it's loving 35 calories. Get out of this thread. You have no idea what you are talking about and actively harming people who might buy into what you're saying (and please don't people he's completely wrong and there's a good reason why he keeps spewing this here instead of YLLS or GBS where he'd get ran out with tar and feathers because of how terribly wrong he is). quote:As a side note, my wife has successfully lost weight in the past through calorie counting, but it encouraged her to obsess over food constantly, make poor decisions in fear of going over her limit, and to eat things just because ended up with calories to spare and who knows when she'll have the opportunity again. It ended up being an even worse attitude towards food than the things that encouraged her to overeat, and wasn't really sustainable for the long term. Except that studies have shown that such weight loss ARE sustainable in the long run when people keep counting their calories for years. Your posts are terrible, this is not what the thread is about, so get out.
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Jul 15, 2014 23:00
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Abu Dave posted:I don't know if it's too YLLS or not but i'd actually like to see a fit "normal" weight persons food log just to see how much a perosn of that weight SHOULD be eating, realistically. Anyone got one? It's not YLLS as much as boring for most people to read about what people are eating, but here we go. Here's what I ate on my last rest day (6'0", mid-160s with around 10% bodyfat) breakfast (about 500 calories) 2 cups of coffee (black with 1 sugar), a bowl of cereals, a banana and a cup of strawberries lunch (about 900 calories) cream of tomato soup with goat cheese and nuts, with a panini (vegetarian with some more goat cheese) dinner (about 900 calories) 2 chicken breasts with a side of rice and vegetables and glass of juice to wash it all off snacks (about 250 and 400 calories respectively) greek yogurt with cut up strawberries and a brotein smoothie That comes out at around 2850 calories but I work out 6 days a week and I'm trying to go for lean gains so I'm eating more than I would normally. So yeah if you remove the brotein smoothie that's that kind of food a regular 'fit' person who is very active eats at my height and weight. If I wasn't as active, I'd have no snacks at all and those three regular meals would be enough.
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Jul 15, 2014 23:59
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Everblight posted:still lolling at people posting in this thread like it isn't just a honeypot for mining quotes to dump in the GBS fat people thread The only people we have mocked so far is Zenthar. Not only did I initially tell everyone in that thread not to do that in the first place, but everyone in the GBS thread universally agrees that it's a great thread (aside from the stupid Zenthar derail) and really interesting to read. It came out because we were asking vyst a bunch of questions about what it was like because a lot of us have no idea what people who are morbidly obese have to go through. I've also had a couple of people who didn't post here contact me through pm to thank me and ask me questions and advice on how to get back in shape, and I've asked them to stay in touch and those people really made my day. So, no, this is not in any way a honeypot thread. Now that we've had a weight loss complete with false and inaccurate pseudo-science and my personal food log, can we please go back to: Fatkraken posted:I'd really prefer if we let the obese and ex obese people actually answer the question instead of arguing about weight loss
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Jul 16, 2014 00:01
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seacat posted:Yup, it's the exact same In terms of calories toward losing, maintaining or gaining weight? Absolutely. In terms of nutrition you get from it? Obviously not. But yeah eating 2000 calories of chocolate or 2000 calories of kale is the same when it comes to weight. Jack Gladney posted:Also, if you have never been fat and are interested in stories like these, what is the curiosity with fat people? Do they serve a similar function if you're poor or hate your job, where you can say, "at least my body isn't a shameful prison."? Do you watch with hope that they'll get out of it and save their lives? Well I already gave an answer to that in the OP, more or less. To me it's twofold: to understand why people let themselves become like that and what it's like to be like that, and to develop some compassion because I want to be able to help people that will need it once I graduate. The compassion aspect was spurned by this guy:  He is a personal trainer who had a lot of obese people quitting under him for being too harsh, and decided to see first hand what it was like to be morbidly obese. I can relate, I've help people before to shed some weight but I was kind of rough on the first few and realized that well not everyone would react or take well to bootcamp style 'don't give me that poo poo, give me 5 more instead' approach. In a single year that personal trainer went from that first picture to the second picture to the third picture. In a year. I watched his interview, and he was talking a lot about how he felt like and how it was like for him to become so fat, all the realizations he made and what it advantages it gives him to try and help people in the future. Now I'm obviously not gonna do that because well, gently caress that. The only morbidity I'll ever allow myself is curiosity. However, his whole idea of developing compassion and understand to be able to help people better stuck with me. I very much had an attitude of 'You're fat, it's easy to get fit stop eating so much' prior to my accident. When I went from really active to sitting all day and gaining those few extra pounds (20 to 30 or so) and feeling like absolute crap, it blew my mind. I thought that fat people were just basically lazy and decided just not to exercise, but I had never realized how just not doing sports and tacking on even a small amount of weight could make you feel so sluggish, weaker, tired and well depressed with yourself. As I said, as soon as I possibly could i immediately started training again but that mind blowing feeling never left: 'How can people tolerate living like that?'. I mean it just feels so amazing to be healthy and be able to do what you want to do when you want to do and all the perks of being fit, active and healthy I just couldn't wrap my mind around it and I started watching some shows about fat people but none of them really ever answered the questions I had. Then I started to post a lot in the FiB thread in GBS and vyst and a few others answered some questions and I realized that between those part of the ultimate transformation thread, and those of you who have yet to be part of it but will someday, this was a pretty good ground to ask all of those questions and try to get a dialogue going so I could put myself in their shoes and understand more what it was about. I'm not sure my answer is gonna be too typical of others who are interested in hearing those stories though.
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Jul 16, 2014 01:57
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Something I've been wondering about people [not on medication or suffering from a medical condition] who say they suffer from really huge hunger pangs and have difficulty controlling themselves when they happen: Have you ever tried fasting? I'm being serious here. Ever since I was a young boy, I've fasted semi-regularly (and I still do, as recently as this week). Some of it was for religious reasons (whether personal or enforced externally), sometimes for health reason and sometimes due to poverty and literally having no food to eat in the first place. Could it be that the hunger pangs are so bad because you're simply not used to feeling hunger, and the more you learn to live (and ignore) those feelings, the easier it gets and eventually it just becomes a mild annoyance that is easy to ignore? Maybe if once a week you decided 'ok on Tuesdays, I'm not gonna eat or drink anything other than water until it's noon (provided you wake up at like 6 or 7 in the morning) and gradually get it up to a few more hours with like half hours increments until you're able to spend 12 hours without eating anything, maybe it's something that could help? Now obviously that would also require you not to binge like crazy the second you can eat and end up overeating but stick with your number of daily allowed calories. You might have to start by just not eating for two or three hours after you wake up until you build it up to like 4 or 5, then 6 or 7, etc... Having a meal ready to break the fast so you don't cook yourself way more food than you would usually or something. Maybe just straight up to do intermittent fasting at some point (A system where you eat all of your daily calories during a period of 8 hours and the rest of the 16 hours you of the day you only drink water). I know that for me, it's not until I reach the 23th hour without eating or drinking anything that I start getting hungry to the point where it actually bothers me, but I think that's because I never really fast for more than 24 hours in the first place. It only starts to get bad until 10-15 minutes before when I'm going to allow myself to eat. If I fasted for say, 30 hours I imagine I would probably start getting bothered around the 29th hour because that would be the point where my body would go 'ok i'm about to start eating soon'. I mean I still get the occasional hunger pang during the day but I basically just go 'welp, can't eat' and my body shuts the gently caress up about it after a couple of minutes. I'm not advocating full-on or even intermittent fasting as a way to lose weight, because it's not a weight loss method. It's stupid to let yourself starve (not because of 'starvation mode', because that only kicks in when you've got 4% of body fat) because you want to lose weight and shows you don't know what you are doing. What I'm wondering is that for those who really suffer from hunger pangs they have a hard time to control, could it be because you've never actually experienced hunger for long periods of time without doing anything about it that you can't control yourself? It's kind of like someone who's never been in any kind of physical pain and will overreact to something that wouldn't make others who are used to being hurt to even blink because they know how to deal with the pain. Just (calorie-free) food for thought. Twee as Fuck fucked around with this message at 14:42 on Jul 16, 2014 |
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Jul 16, 2014 14:38
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Zantie posted:I get that you're being serious and trying to help but fasting is something my doctor does not recommend and therefore something I'm not going to do. Unfortunately he also didn't have any idea outside of drinking water which is why I figured I'd ask. That's why I did not recommend fasting in any way and specifically said so multiple times. The only type of fasting I endorsed is intermittent fasting where you still eat just as many calories as you would on a normal day, only within a shorter time period. Fasting for weight loss is a terrible idea. Zantie posted:While I can't fault you for your asking, I do resent that the first suggestion opens with doubting whether or not I've truly felt hunger. I have when I was 9 due to poverty and it (bonus common theme) gave me a lot of anxiety. I remember hiding food in my bedroom "just in case" I needed it later. For starters, you shouldn't take things too personal. I didn't made that post directed to you, I made this post for everyone in this thread (and reading it) who talked about having difficulty controlling their hunger. It's a common thread through almost all of the posts so far, much like untreated mental illness. Also your own experience doesn't answer what I asked earlier either. You felt forced hunger when you were 9. Which is obviously something you hated and apparently led you to later start overeating in reaction to it. This is obviously a terrible situation but this is not at all what I was talking about, or the people I was addressing. I'm asking about feeling voluntary hunger. Feeling your stomach grumble and then not eat for a few hours afterwards because you don't want to. I think it's a fair question to people who complain of hunger pangs they can't really control but do not have a medical condition or are not on medication. Sorry you felt attacked, but I wasn't even addressing you in particular and your issues are outside of my question.
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Jul 16, 2014 17:12
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shipwrek posted:This is kind of why I asked. I am inputting numbers into my fitness app and double checking them with various cal-counter sites and they usually want a goal weight. My thoughts were "losing a shitload of weight" as you so eloquently put it. Made me wonder what forms of goal posts people use if any and what they may be. healthy bmi for a man is between 18.5 and 25, so aim for like 22-23 unless you plan on putting on a lot of muscle. So if you're 6'0 aim between 150 and 170 roughly, when you get sub-200s you'll be able to gauge it better
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Jul 16, 2014 17:31
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shipwrek posted:I'm currently 6' and 239lbs. I've chosen 200 as where I'd like to be as thats where I was most of my life. Was 210 or more when I was Mr. Manly sports guy but I had a fair amount of muscle and I'm not looking to get swole though who knows! Yeah at 6'0 210 pounds you were most likely overweight unless you were really really swole. A lot of people who are firmly overweight don't realize that they are in fact overweight because they haven't really known any better. As I said, try to aim between 150 to 170 but once you make it under 200 it'll be easier to gauge.
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Jul 16, 2014 17:51
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Authentic You posted:This is sort of ingrained attitude/culture around food and eating and health that I find most baffling and fascinating about obesity. It's like, anything that isn't solid grease or sugar is unpalatable diet food for rabbits, fast food is the only cheap way to eat, and zero concept of a middle ground where food tastes good, is good for you, and isn't overly difficult, inconvenient, or expensive to prepare. I caught a few episodes of My 600-lb Life a while back, and what stood out to me was some of the participants' utter inability to grasp how food worked and therefore adjust their eating habits, and how pervasive the culture of bad food and bad health was in their environments and how hard a time they had breaking out of it. I don't find it baffling at all, basically it's the food that people grew up eating and being cooked by their relatives. Then they grew up and were cooking it for their children, who grew up and cooked it for their own children, and so on. The difference is that great-grandpa used to do backbreaking labor from dawn till dusk, grandpa got it easier by adding a tractor in the mix, dad said 'gently caress that' and got a blue collar job (but still played lots of sports while he was young so really only started getting fat around his thirties, and his son is now playing DOTA all day doing gently caress all. That's exactly what is happening in Mexico and why they are even fatter than we are.
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Jul 16, 2014 18:36
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swamp waste posted:I'm kind of laughing at all the self-hating fat posters here. I'm not saying don't get in shape or that it doesn't matter, but the fat people I know who seem the happiest don't go around feeling like "god i'm such a piece of poo poo" all the time. Or maybe they do, but they don't complain about it and come off as self-pitying. They have chronic health problems and probably don't get laid as much as they would in better shape but they still seem confident and happy. Maybe there's more of an emotional burden than I know, but I'm pretty sure a fat person with a good attitude is gonna have a better time in life than a fat sad-sack. A lot of people wracked with self-hatred, guilt and insecurity will project a facade of happiness to the rest of the world so they don't come off as whiny and get judged, but once the door is closed that's when they stop smiling and acting like everything's alright. Maybe you should try and have a bit of empathy with people going through all of this instead of pointing at people who hate themselves and say 'Ahaha you hate yourself'. That's a pretty lovely thing to kick someone who's already down, you know.
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Jul 16, 2014 23:46
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NomChompsky posted:Says the most prolific poster in the FiB thread specifically devoted to doing this exact thing lmao. About 90% of my posts are about working out, shooting the poo poo with regulars, debunking fat acceptance false claims, giving nutrition and workout advice to people who wander in and ask for help. Maybe you should try reading the thread instead of assuming. I don't go out of my way to mock people because they are fat, the people I mock for being fat are those who claim it's beautiful natural and healthy to be 200 pounds overweight. I have nothing for respect for people who are fat but trying to get better, even if they try and fail then try and fail but keep on trying until they one day succeed. I'm discussing over pm with some lurkers who haven't posted here and want help, a few others who came in the FiB thread and I'm always glad to help anyone who wants help. I'm sorry you can't see the distinction between mocking someone like Ragen Chastain who pretends she can do 100 push-ups and leg press a 1,000 pounds when she gets winded doing some hoola hoop tricks and pointing at people in this thread who talk about how much they hate(d) being fat. The stories posted so far aren't funny, most of them make me feel really sad.
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Jul 17, 2014 20:05
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I have a few questions/comments for people who have commented on my last post, but I just wanted to say thanks to everyone who has pm'ed me so far, you have no idea how  and intensely happy it makes me that you've chosen to share what you shared, I'm more than happy if I helped and can continue to help, and by all means anyone too shy to post in this thread (or has posted but wants personal advice/has questions they don't think are relevant) please do you have no idea how happy it makes me to get those and to be able to help you all I'm also so glad and inspired whenever I read someone say 'I've been reading this thread and I'm using it as a motivator to make my life better' this is more than I could have asked from this thread in the beginning it really genuinely fills me with so much joy 
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Jul 21, 2014 13:25
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Laverna posted:I'm only slightly overweight, and that for only the past few years of my life, but I'm afraid that I'm well on my way to becoming obese or at least unhealthily overweight if I don't do something soon. I have an incredibly unhealthy lifestyle, I always have. I still have a childish diet (ew, vegetables!) and I haven't exercised ever. Until now I must have just had a really lucky metabolism or something, I dunno. For most people it seems to be a sudden realization. Here's what you should do right now: get down to your underwear, take out your phone and take a picture. Don't suck your gut it, try to have a straight posture but don't stick your chest out, just stand normally. Then look at that picture. That should get you to cringe because if you do nothing in two years you're gonna look back at that pic and think 'man i used to be so much better then' while right now you're thinking 'yesh that's not pretty i need to do something'. As another motivator, this will be your 'before' picture and a year from now you'll post the before and after on facebook, reddit and YLLS and get validation from hundreds of strangers online! Laverna posted:I have no self-discipline, so I always go back to squidgy comfort food. (Although I love sushi, and that's supposed to be healthy, right?) If you need to develop habits, it might be a good idea to use apps designed that way, or websites like habitrpg to keep track, see a progression in front of yourself and feel like you're doing well. Don't use just those to exercise, if you want to take up any good habits that could be really good for you. Specifically, I can't recommend Fitocracy enough. Great database of exercises, they have workouts already planned and they will motivate you to do things you wouldn't do otherwise so you can be really OCD and get all those quests trophies. Laverna posted:And one of the main things that prevents me from exercising is shame - "What if I look silly?" - which sounds kind of unreasonable but it's a thing. Ask yourself this question: would you rather look silly for an hour three times a week, or be 60 pounds+ overweight and actually obese all day long? If you are scared of looking like that in the gym, I have great news for you: what you see in tv shows is just that, fiction. For starters, no one cares enough to look at you, we're all busy working on ourselves and don't really have time to be bothered looking at other people more than at glance to know if you're done yet.
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Jul 22, 2014 23:39
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meataidstheft posted:This is true and not true at the same time. I started up at a new gym today and there was one dude that kept looking at me every time I passed. Did not look away when I caught his glance. Oh yeah sure but the guy was probably impressed that you joined or something. I know once in a while I while look at the bigger members of the gym, but to me they are just a real source of inspiration (in a positive sense, the fact that they are actually trying to better themselves) Often I also give a quick glance to make sure they are not making bad beginner moves that could get them injured so I can swoop in and say 'here, bro, that's how you should do it with proper form so you don't injure yourself in the future'
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Jul 23, 2014 02:13
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This seems to be a really painful subject for you (and your earlier post talking about your problems made me really sad  ) but I have to ask: why do you keep that avatar? it's been there for what, three years now? trying to motivate yourself when you look at it? used salr to block it and forgot about it? self-harm?
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Jul 23, 2014 19:25
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runupon cracker posted:I went from about 135 lbs to 310 lbs in the span of three years  How did that happen, if you don't mind me asking Liquid Communism posted:I earned it, and I decided years ago that it's staying there until it doesn't deserve to be there anymore. Yeah I'm a bit ambivalent because on one hand I think it's a good idea sometimes to actually beat yourself up for your mistakes rather than to ignore them or to find endless excuses to explain why you didn't do them, but on the other hand too much self-flagellation is definitely not healthy either. I hope you find your motivation soon and by next year get a better av for your name 
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Jul 24, 2014 16:42
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Again, thank you so much for sharing everyone! And froglet, have you ever considered using a calorie counting app instead of relying on percentages and trying to make those values match what your body needs, etc? It seems like it might work a bit better for you and would let you avoid developing deficiencies because they also track which nutrients you are taking so you can easily see if you're having too much of X or severely lacking in Y.
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Jul 25, 2014 01:13
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ChairMaster posted:Clearly being actually skinny or good looking isn't in the cards here Why would you believe that, exactly?
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Jul 25, 2014 03:01
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Falcon2001 posted:Yeah, not going to argue about the exercise thing because I know you guys are right, but on the wonderful human being part, here's my thoughts on it, and I suspect others have the same issue: It seems counter-intuitive, but the best way to get yourself out of feeling like that is to exercise! Not only will it boost your morale by improving yourself, but you will also be releasing sweet sweet endocannabinoids in your brain that will boost your pleasure levels and make you feel a lot better. 5 x 30 minutes of moderate exercise or 3 x 30 of vigorous exercise is proven to do tremendous in terms of boosting happiness in depressed patients through clinical tests.
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Jul 29, 2014 23:32
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ChairMaster posted:Who cares about being mentally healthy as long as you're happy? You can't be truly happy unless you are mentally healthy. You also can't truly be mentally healthy unless you are physically healthy.
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Jul 30, 2014 16:47
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