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Tonetta
Jul 8, 2013

TY for no bm

Alright so here's mine you start with the traditional self hanging technique but replace rope with the razer-sharp chicken wire. Now here where the rulebook changes. Be nude. Get out some superglue and apply it to both sides of your head, and then your hands. Attach your hands to your super glue head pieces and while you wait for it to dry, think of something really sexy and get an erection. Once youre nice and hard, jump! With any luck, it'll look like you ripped off your head trying to suck your own dick. If you actually manage to get your dick into your mouth doing so, you'll earn bonus points for a hole in one!

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QCIC
Feb 10, 2011

die Stimme der Energie


you can't maintain an erection after death. nice try op

Daedra
Mar 13, 2002

Titans and Vols, bitch.


chicken wire doesn't come razor sharp and wouldn't be useful to hang yourself.

Frankenstyle
Dec 3, 2005

I drink to make other people more interesting.

QCIC posted:

you can't maintain an erection after death. nice try op

Pffft. Maybe you can't.

Tonetta
Jul 8, 2013

TY for no bm

QCIC posted:

you can't maintain an erection after death. nice try op

Actually you can stay erect for up to 6 hours after death.

You sharpen the chicken wire

Cucking Mama
Sep 27, 2013

Gold Medalist, 2014 shit post olympics


flip off a cop until they murder you

Daedra
Mar 13, 2002

Titans and Vols, bitch.


chicken wire comes in three feet wide sections too, i think id buy a different kind of wire

Troll Bridgington
Dec 22, 2011

Keeping up foreign relations.

killdozer

Tonetta
Jul 8, 2013

TY for no bm

Walk onto the white house lawn with a painted airsoft gun

RonMexicosPitbull
Feb 28, 2012

HOLY SHIT I LOVE BOYS

Jumping off a bridge after freaking out at the cops because they were mad you were giving kids alcohol.

Beef Turret
Jul 9, 2009



go to work for 50 years and live in quiet desperation until your heart gives out

Rapman the Cook
Aug 24, 2013

waste of space

Start a band

Get famous

Play at massive festival

Dive off speakers into woodchipper

Get sprayed over 400,000 people

Tonetta
Jul 8, 2013

TY for no bm

Do a spiderman swing from one tall building into the window of another tall building wearing a batman costume

Troll Bridgington
Dec 22, 2011

Keeping up foreign relations.

Rapman the Cook posted:

Start a band

Get famous

Play at massive festival

Dive off speakers into woodchipper

Get sprayed over 400,000 people

BumbleChump
Sep 16, 2007

My guitar is in my BUTT!


QCIC posted:

you can't maintain an erection after death. nice try op

says you

Tonetta
Jul 8, 2013

TY for no bm

Rapman the Cook posted:

Start a band

Get famous

Play at massive festival

Dive off speakers into woodchipper

Get sprayed over 400,000 people

This would be really painful for about 5 aeconds

ilikedirt
Oct 15, 2004

king of posting


shout hail satan in a church. G-d will smite u and ull turn into a pillar ofd salt. holy sh*t

lonesomedwarf
Mar 22, 2010



eat a butt

Tonetta
Jul 8, 2013

TY for no bm

Go hang out in a cave and make a youtube quality video about how youre gonna hijack some planes and email it to fox news

Cucking Mama
Sep 27, 2013

Gold Medalist, 2014 shit post olympics


kidding aside why would you want to die. life is wonderful

lonesomedwarf
Mar 22, 2010



time how long it will take for a dummy to fall off a building and hit the ground and then strap a bomb to yourself set to go off about half way to the ground and jump off the building after arming the bomb and make sure you do it over a busy section of a city that would make people notice you

Tonetta
Jul 8, 2013

TY for no bm

Cucking Mama posted:

kidding aside why would you want to die. life is wonderful

I dont im part of the wealthiest nation of the most over-privileged species on the planet and possibly the universe I have zero reason whatsoever to end my life prematurely

ilikedirt
Oct 15, 2004

king of posting


Homo for Hitler posted:

I dont im part of the wealthiest nation of the most over-privileged species on the planet and possibly the universe I have zero reason whatsoever to end my life prematurely

have u considered..... ur posting....

RonMexicosPitbull
Feb 28, 2012

HOLY SHIT I LOVE BOYS

yea its really something only tards and sadbrains people do

lonesomedwarf
Mar 22, 2010



tie yourself to four different cars, they can be the same sort of car or different once, you might need someone to help you with this. then get all cars to go in different cardinal directions at the same time, it will not work as well otherwise, do it in a public area or in the middle of that place where the cars go around in cirlces in america what is that called anyway do it somewhere public. maybe put fake horse heads on the cars bonnets (hodds)

ilikedirt
Oct 15, 2004

king of posting


jk homo fir hitler ur alright imo

Tonetta
Jul 8, 2013

TY for no bm

Swallow small timed explosives and go to a church hailing satan

chaosbreather
Dec 9, 2001

Wry and wise,
but also very sexual.


spend your entire life doing everything you're told, dying of old age, a worthless broken robot man

Fabulousity
Dec 29, 2008

= (Displacement through a hetero medium) / Time


Better for the slow burn. Wait for a 3 day weekend or something when the office is relatively empty and go in with a rolled up kiddie pool, a pen or pencil, a bottle of 151, and two or more bottles of Tylenol (or other acetaminophen substitute), something that can play music (phone, iPod, whatever), and a few thick 2x5 or so cardboard strips. Get into the ceiling of your office floor, obviously this works best for mid-sized or bigger office buildings, and open up the pool as best you can within the ceiling crawlspace, use some heavy cardboard strips to help distribute the weight, crawl into the pool and close the access panel behind you. Use the pen/pencil to poke a few holes (but not too many!) in the pool's bottom membrane but don't stab right through the ceiling panels. You want to be properly rotting before stuff starts dripping through the ceiling. Then consume as much of the Tylenol as you can while washing it down with 151 until the bottle is empty. Set your music player to something appropriate on loop just to mess with investigators when they find it, like Bananaphone or Bright Eyes or something. If you're feeling especially cheeky use the pen/pencil to scrawl the name of a random coworker you never really ever had to interact with from some random department onto whatever surfaces are around you.

You'll end up in a headline somewhere. If you hate your network guys also take a few moments to disconnect some drop cables in there and insert them deeply into various orifices. Once your body is taken away they'll still have to deal with some funky rear end RJ45 jacks.

But if you're not that far gone just put Goatse on someone's computer or something.

Also OP's idea missed that extra detail that it should be done off a skyscraper no taller than 20ish stories during the start of lunch time.

lonesomedwarf
Mar 22, 2010



put long skewers in your nose one in each nostrile and go into a very small room and listen to some thing really heavy and headbang yourself to death

ilikedirt
Oct 15, 2004

king of posting


u could get a job as a lion tamer but when the time comes during ur sjhow to put ur head in its mouth u just keep going. u crawl into its throat then down to its stomach so u die in its liontummy being slowly digested

Tonetta
Jul 8, 2013

TY for no bm

Shoot a hot dose of heroin into your dick on a public bus or the red line in chicago

Tonetta
Jul 8, 2013

TY for no bm

ilikedirt posted:

u could get a job as a lion tamer but when the time comes during ur sjhow to put ur head in its mouth u just keep going. u crawl into its throat then down to its stomach so u die in its liontummy being slowly digested

Some people are actually into this it is called vore check it out

lonesomedwarf
Mar 22, 2010



this idea uses a small room aswell. sit in a small room and playu video games and drink something carbonated but upside down so the bubbles go downwards. and then fart yourself to death from lack of oxygen.

ilikedirt
Oct 15, 2004

king of posting


legally change ur name to "cOp KiLlA" and be really mean to police. themn when they axe u ur name... well lets just say.... ur in for a bash!!!!!

BattleMaster
Aug 14, 2000

Rodents of unusual size? I don't think they exist.



lonesomedwarf
Mar 22, 2010



a good death, some might say the best death, is to eat take away fast food until you die in 20 years or less of a heart attack. the einlardjhar will then come on a bridge of saturated fats and take you to fathalla

ilikedirt
Oct 15, 2004

king of posting


open up 500 packs of magic the gathering cards and sniff them. b4 u know it ull be dead from mtg fumes. a true samurais death

Tonetta
Jul 8, 2013

TY for no bm

Try to fist a cop

I dont mean fist fight

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Tonetta
Jul 8, 2013

TY for no bm

ilikedirt posted:

open up 500 packs of magic the gathering cards and sniff them. b4 u know it ull be dead from mtg fumes. a true samurais death

I know this isnt how it works from experience you liar!!!

Also notjing about that is remotely cool

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