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The Washington nationals have faith in their team, and predict a solid victory over the hated forces of the National League, following a by a strong victory over icephoenix and his twins-stealing ways.
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Jul 14, 2014 17:45
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the preseason proj. clearly over-accounted for the presence of sicnarf loopstok on a roster and went haywire. I expect that I will normalize to the top of the division by the end of the season.
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Jul 14, 2014 17:49
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I think Seattle's projection is pretty good. I felt like I got excellent value in my SPs (finding Masterson and Hellickson when I did was fortunate). Like the actual Seattle Mariners, they will struggle to score runs but pitching will keep em in.
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Jul 14, 2014 18:12
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 Overall, DETROIT MEOW CITY pursued what the front office refers to as the Cookie Monster draft strategy: "PLAYER SMELL GOOD? PLAYER LOOK GOOD? PLAYER TASTE GOOD! ME DRAFT PLAYER OM NOMN OMNOM NOM NOMNOM NOM". DMC Starters C Wilson Ramos 1B Adrian Gonzalez 2B Brian Dozier SS Xander Bogaerts 3B Nolan Arenado LF Domonic Brown CF Carlos Gomez RF Chris Denorfia DH Yonder Alonso The widespread gnashing of teeth and rending of garments from the fake baseball press after DMC's high picks of Craig Kimbrel and Brian Dozier made General Manager Sexual Lorax kick the door off of his war room's hinges and demand to know what in the singular gently caress his draft staff thought they were doing. After answering every question put to them with "Intangibles," including "Where do you painthuffers want to go for lunch today?" the GM fired the entire staff and replaced them with a statistics monkey. THE BONCH OF Chris Young IF Darwin Barney C Max Stassi The DMC statmonkey helped a great deal with middle and late round draft selections, but the front office was not above whipping it with an extension cord every time it recommended taking a starting pitcher before the ninth round. This was due to the GM's insistence that all pitchers are interchangeable nutjob mutants and that there would be plenty left later on in the draft capable of throwing somewhere vaguely around home plate after the team picked up enough "real baseball players." Mutant Throwarms Rick Porcello Ricky Nolasco Dan Straily Felix Doubront Chris Tillman GM Lorax's wholesale hatefucking of the DETROIT MEOW CITY draft staff should in no way imply that he has anything but the utmost confidence in players taken high in his team's 2014 draft. In early workouts with the team, Brian Dozier especially impressed the GM, leading him to comment "I've started thinking of Chris Dozier as the heart of our team, the second coming of baseball Jesus. Not like a Hispanic Hay-Zeus, but the good Christian Jesus." More Mutant Throwarms To Be Arbitrarily Used Later In Games Zach McAllister Kevin Gausman Jason Hammel Tanner Scheppers Jared Burton Manny Parra Brad Boxberger Craig Kimbrel Note from DETROIT MEOW CITY legal: Please refrain from using the pejorative nickname "Tigers" when referring to DETROIT MEOW CITY. After settling the Otherkin v. Lorax case out of court in late 2012, DETROIT MEOW CITY has prided itself on taking the lead in proving that a mediocre sports team from a third world city can poo poo up a league without insulting zoo animals or headcases anywhere. Team trademarks authorized for use in the fake sporting press include "DETROIT MEOW CITY", "DETROIT (MC)", "DMC", and "The Meowtown Doziers".
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Jul 14, 2014 18:12
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I have a surplus of back end starters, so if you feel like your staff will be ineffective, email me at the username at gmail E: despite the lukewarm projections, I'm pretty happy with my teams upside. My pitching could be better but my offense is pretty great all around Politicalrancor fucked around with this message at 19:52 on Jul 14, 2014 |
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Jul 14, 2014 19:49
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Sexual Lorax posted:DMC Starters
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Jul 14, 2014 19:50
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Pander posted:I'm still trying to figure out where 155 homers will come from out of this bunch, especially in Detroit, unless everyone simultaneously enjoys career years. Ramos, Gonzalez, Alonso, Brown, and Gomez are all capable of 20+ (and that's being kind of conservtive with some of them). Dozier will probably hit 15-ish. That's 115, possibly more, so between Bogaerts, Arenado, Denorfia, and the bench you'd only need 40 more.
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Jul 14, 2014 20:06
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 Welcome to the Be a GM 2 Cubs preview  : Sweet Jesus! What is that thing? : Well hello, Mark.: Ahhh!: Ahhhhhh!: Ahhhhhhhhh!: Wait, what? What's happening?: I thought I was supposed to be introducing some players to get my DUI records sealed? Have I been drinking again? Did I die trapped in a fiery inferno in my own SUV?: No Mark, but I was sent here to knock some years off my purgatory stay.: OK, that totally makes sense and I will not question it from this point forward.The Starting Rotation  : This is, uh, quite the rotation the Cubs have. Didn't Justin Verlander die or something?: I can guarantee you I have not seen him in the afterlife.: And Matt Harvey is out for the season? Who picked these guys?: Well, you see Mark, what they want us to do is use math and projections and stats to talk about why these guys were picked.: So I'm completely the right guy for this job. Anyway, what we've got here are, when healthy and not broken, two aces followed by Ulbaldo Jimenez who can strike guys out when he can find the plate.: I'd love to find a plate of Harry Caray's spaghetti right now, Mark. I haven't eaten in over 16 years.: Right. Rounding out the staff we've got Estrada, the hidden gem of Milwaukee's pitching staff going into this season, and Robbie Erlin who kind of seems like a left handed Edwin Jackson to me.: Boy, back in the day, if you could find a left-handed black pitcher - : OK, then, let's take a look at the bullpen...The Bullpen  : Wait, I think I've heard of some of these pitchers...: Whatever happened to Alfonseco? It's a good thing I wasn't alive when they got him. I could have never trusted a man with more fingers than me.The Starting Lineups   : Wait, isn't that shortstop the guy who wrote that thing about gays on his eyes?: Close, Harry, he wrote a word on his eyelids we used to call Sandberg behind his back.: Back in my day - : And that's enough about Yunel Escobar. This Cubs team seems to make up in defense what it lacks with the bat. That's a stone cold barrier on the left side of the infield for the Cubs and they'll have an outfield made-up of 3 center fielders, or whatever we're calling Marlon Byrd, when they face lefties. It's a little heavy from the right-handed side but hopefully the bench can help them compensate later in games. The Cubs can bring in lefty Logan Morrison to play first and move Sandoval to third, switching hitting Jonathan Villar to cover the middle infield or switch-hitting catcher Brayan Pena to catch if they want to shift Mike Napoli to first where I strongly recommend they move him soon. Ryan Raburn will also be available off the bench to play, well, anywhere they need him.: Can anybody even remember who played third base when you were on the Cubs, Mark?: Robots, Harry. We just hired robots.: Holy Cow!: I need a cigarette.: Is there someplace I can get a scotch around here?
tadashi fucked around with this message at 13:42 on Jul 16, 2014 |
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Jul 15, 2014 15:44
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April 16th, 2014      I'll be doing bigger posts for the ends of months with a full leaderboard and stuff.
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Jul 16, 2014 02:00
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and its just like I predicted folks. The legendary Sicnarf Spring Training Drag has relented and the Cardinals are already in midseason form. e: lmao the Astros have a team obp of near .38 and an ERA of 6 straight up brolic fucked around with this message at 02:07 on Jul 16, 2014 |
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Jul 16, 2014 02:01
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Houston is amazing. They and their opponents are batting just under .300. Mets  Wow Arizona. For my DH lineup, I'd like Pence to DH and Martin to start in RF if possible please. Same lineup order.
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Jul 16, 2014 02:12
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Jesus christ my team is baaaaaad. An ops of .551 holy poo poo. Laderhan fucked around with this message at 02:17 on Jul 16, 2014 |
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Jul 16, 2014 02:14
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.595 OPS. Welp, that sure isn't going to cut it. e: slugging .326 hahahah
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Jul 16, 2014 02:16
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angrygodofjebus posted:.595 OPS. Welp, that sure isn't going to cut it.
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Jul 16, 2014 02:17
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Houston is almost slugging teams' OPSs
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Jul 16, 2014 02:18
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angrygodofjebus posted:e: slugging .326 hahahah It could be worse, you could be slugging .292 e: haha, I just noticed I have 2 CG shutouts and yet only 3 wins  .
Laderhan fucked around with this message at 02:27 on Jul 16, 2014 |
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Jul 16, 2014 02:22
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Also, my pitching leads MLB in strike outs. 157 in 134 innings 
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Jul 16, 2014 02:22
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Dingers bitch
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Jul 16, 2014 02:24
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angrygodofjebus posted:Also, my pitching leads MLB in strike outs. 157 in 134 innings wha? I see 107 over 123 IP? e. gently caress I thought you were chicago nevermind.
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Jul 16, 2014 02:25
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angrygodofjebus posted:Also, my pitching leads MLB in strike outs by 24. 157 in 134 innings DETROIT MEOW CITY...not so much. Commish: If I still don't have anyone backing up at 3B, please throw Darwin over there If Starter Tired.
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Jul 16, 2014 02:28
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See? My pitching is fine. Still in last for some reason, but give it time.
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Jul 16, 2014 02:42
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Brandon Moss 
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Jul 16, 2014 02:49
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This is as good a time as any to introduce you all to your once and future rulers in a post that will in no way look like it was based on assertions from a shockingly small sample size by the end of the season.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ywjX6AF6oVc The critics unanimously agree: These birds can ball! code:The Lineup, presented by Busch Beer: Grab a Busch:  C Yadier Molina my mom calls yadier molina her boyfriend when she watches the cardinals. does that make my step-father a "cuck"? i hope not. 1B Matt Adams "Mt. Adams" is a national treasure and is the white Prince Fielder if Prince Fielder wasn't a loving oval office and terrible at baseball now. 2B Chase Utley  SS Jean Segura 3B Matt Carpenter generic white guy who is really good at baseball and does things. not cool, but good. LF Khris Davis this guy is young and hits home runs. spells khris like a loving idiot. CF Lorenzo Cain i would vote for anyone named lorenzo "the black chestnut" cain. RF Nick Markakis he's not bad at baseball. BN Stephen Piscotty - respect. BN Joey Gallo - hammerhead shark on cocaine. gorilla biceps. clubhouse guy. my nigga. BN Tony Cruz Jr. - loyalty. BN Pete Kozma - scrap. BN Sicnarf Loopstok - giving Nitram Odarp a run for his money. The prodigal son and future prince of fake baseball. phew! those boys can hit! expect em to crush some balls and shoot some dicks! Baseball is good stuff. now to the rotation, affectionately referred to as "the kush kadet klub". this bionic battery-powered batch of ball throwers have all basically been preserved with the embalming fluid of computer games and a ton of weed. Johan Santana is gonna pitch 160 innings or something. gently caress yall.  SP1 Yovani Gallardo - legitimately good pitcher I think. SP2 Johan Santana - this pitcher brought to you by computer curare and the idiocy of the orioles SP3 Tim Lincecum - my favorite baseball player is on my favorite baseball team. thanks for letting my live out my fantasies boys. i wish we played the padres more. SP4 Drew Smyly - left handed dude. SP5 John Danks - BLOWING ON THAT DANK, THROWING THAT CUTTER LR (eSP) Guillermo Moscoso - a guy that learned a lot of japanese while in the nippon league. RHMR Kevin Quackenbush - a guy with a silly name. LHMR Zach Phillips - a guy with a forgettable name. RHMR Kyle Farnsworth - a guy that used to throw really fast. LOOGY Bryan Matusz - a guy. SU(7th+) Jason Motte - a guy that looks like a guy fieri (pronounced fee-etti) acolyte CL(8th+) Kenley Jansen - an all around good dude. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xB5ceAruYrI
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Jul 16, 2014 02:56
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Marcus Semen selection already paying dividends 
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Jul 16, 2014 03:12
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Gorman Thomas posted:Marcus Semen selection already paying dividends That is amazing. No counting stat lead, just hitting lights out. I wanted him btw. You bastard
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Jul 16, 2014 03:21
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I have no idea how my team is hitting the ball so well. I feel like they're just setting me up for a huge disappointment. Also, is picking up a free agent midseason allowed?
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Jul 16, 2014 03:26
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Chris Iannetta, player of the week. Haha.
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Jul 16, 2014 04:05
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johnfw50 posted:I have no idea how my team is hitting the ball so well. I feel like they're just setting me up for a huge disappointment. Also, is picking up a free agent midseason allowed? Nope
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Jul 16, 2014 04:44
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 (It won't last) e: PS thanks again for running this dude 
kensei fucked around with this message at 04:50 on Jul 16, 2014 |
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Jul 16, 2014 04:46
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Abel pagan is a Greek god of what I can only assume are doubles???!!!
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Jul 16, 2014 04:53
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Hell yeah, Alex Wood leading MLB in ERA. 
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Jul 16, 2014 05:04
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Well at least Kolten Wong isn't stinking it up, but apparently the rest of my team is.
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Jul 16, 2014 05:18
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So I dave cameroned it and added up the WARs. 52 + my team's projected Zips 45.6 total WAR makes Colorado a 98 win team. Is everyone gonna be super-high based on this metric?
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Jul 16, 2014 05:24
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How does ZIPS project playing time? If it's ~600 PA for everyone then obviously you're going to overestimate your bench players.
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Jul 16, 2014 05:38
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My total innings looks about right (1230 1/3 for whole staff). I think PA are high (6710, about 516 for each player on average), so yeah that'd probably explain it.
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Jul 16, 2014 06:05
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Worst in the league. WELP.
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Jul 16, 2014 06:55
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3 shutouts and still only 5 wins 
JosefStalinator fucked around with this message at 07:54 on Jul 16, 2014 |
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Jul 16, 2014 07:49
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Well, that was unexpected.
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Jul 18, 2014 04:17
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No-hitter?
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Jul 18, 2014 04:39
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| # ? Apr 19, 2024 22:29 |
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Tom Clancy scale terrorist attack on one of our ballparks during a game, killing everyone there except for the utility infielder who was in the can when it went off?
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Jul 18, 2014 04:41
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