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Welcome to Alberta! It's a land of big skies, cities that set world records for urban sprawl, too much loving salt on the roads and some of the biggest car retards I've ever met in my entire life, in all possible senses of the term. I grew up here, and now I watch myself and my fellow Albertans destroy their lives in the pursuit of automotive perfection. The oil money doesn't hurt either! "An Albertan Monologue," by Margaret Atwood quote:I WAKE UP AND IMMEDIATELY BEGIN TO DO CRUNCHES, TODAY IS MY BELLY DAY. I WALK DOWNSTAIRS TO THE SUN DRENCHED FOYER IN WHICH I LIVE AND REACH INTO THE BOWL OF KEYS ON MY SIX AND A HALF INCH THICK LIVE EDGE MAPLE TABLE. THE KEY BELONGS TO A 1982 DODGE RAMPAGE. MY PULSE QUICKENS. The Cast The house reserves the right to substitute cast members before any performance. No refunds will be issued under any circumstances.
The Program
Glossary
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Jul 14, 2014 23:50
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| # ? Apr 19, 2024 08:39 |
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I'm in! For those who don't know me... <--- #YEG AutoX organizer, TimeAttack Participant, and all around car sperg  . Oh, and one of the few without a lifted "rollin coal" diesel truck  .Winter  Summer  Once helped Seat Safety Switch swap a transmission when he optimistically drove from Calgary to Edmonton, on a Sunday to both buy & swap a transmission for his old beloved Outback Sport before driving back to Calgary that night. I also owe AI for making me consider I could R&R an s2000 engine myself.  #GarageOfIdiots crew.
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Jul 15, 2014 00:07
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How did you do those stripes? I'm thinking of something similar on my Miata.
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Jul 15, 2014 00:26
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blk posted:How did you do those stripes? I'm thinking of something similar on my Miata. Trade secret... Oh wait, I mean vinyl. An artistic designer friend with a vinyl cutter did me up parallel stripes with backing & transfer tape to easily install them while remaining parallel. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ocrZV6czDrE
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Jul 15, 2014 00:32
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Is it hard to get vinyl to follow the curve?
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Jul 15, 2014 00:32
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blk posted:Is it hard to get vinyl to follow the curve? Not really. Just required cleaning it well, and being patient and willing to do a small bit at a time.
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Jul 15, 2014 00:35
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GrantC posted:Once helped Seat Safety Switch swap a transmission when he optimistically drove from Calgary to Edmonton, on a Sunday to both buy & swap a transmission for his old beloved Outback Sport before driving back to Calgary that night.
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Jul 15, 2014 00:39
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So this is basically a thread for me and switch to paste in progressively more ridiculous kijiji advertisements, right? I mean that's pretty much all we do all day.Seat Safety Switch posted:[*] Waylon Jennings as Slung Blade - Once built an electric tractor, now Oh man if only I had facial hair of that magnitude. So anyone up for a "get this heap of a dodge running" wrenching party / bbq at my place sometime soon? I'm just outside* Calgary. * for a given definition of outside
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Jul 15, 2014 01:31
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Saskatchewan is close enough right?? We have enough lifted pickups to qualify methinks.
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Jul 15, 2014 01:43
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 flatlander.No seriously, it's cool, come hang out with your radical younger brother with the terrible taste in everything, especially politics.
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Jul 15, 2014 01:49
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I'm going to come visit to buy JDM subaru parts and sample the best poutine you have to offer.
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Jul 15, 2014 03:23
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Slow is Fast posted:I'm going to come visit to buy JDM subaru parts and sample the best poutine you have to offer. I was going to complain about stereotypes & how poutine is a Quebec thing and how Alberta is on the western end of the prairies... Then I remembered the (very good) poutine place that opened up by the UofA. https://www.google.ca/search?q=la+poutine Come on by, Subaru-bro!
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Jul 15, 2014 03:52
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We just got a Smoke's in Calgary near my office. It's ok, but my poutine palette is very unrefined, so I have no idea if it's "good" poutine or "bad" poutine.
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Jul 15, 2014 04:25
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Slung Blade posted:We just got a Smoke's in Calgary near my office. That's easy to fix... Step 1) Go to Montreal for F1 race. Step 2) Eat all the poutine Step 3) Keep insufferably talking about your trip to Montreal anytime someone mentions poutine.
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Jul 15, 2014 04:28
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Never been to Quebec but from knowing quite a few Quebecois all I know is that mozzarella-based poutine is almost invariably awful fake poo poo, if it's not farmer's curds and the greasiest gravy available go back to Wendy's (lol "poutine sauce") e: I imagine I'm becoming vaguely familiar to a few, but I'm still new as poo poo and if everyone else is doing introductions... I'm Calgarian as gently caress (born here to boot), I sperg all over about basically the worst cars ('80s GM, all the Mazda knockoffs Kia made before they got good when Hyundai bought them, and any non-hybrid Toyota that sucked) and I've got one of the worst cases of automotive ADD around. I was a tire guy for 7 years and now I'm a HD mechanic. Turbo Fondant fucked around with this message at 05:00 on Jul 15, 2014 |
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Jul 15, 2014 04:41
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I'm not sure "real" poutine is worth dealing with quebecers for. It might be worthwhile during the grand prix because there would be enough out-of-towners that you wouldn't have to deal with many locals. Michener allen collector car auction is next weekend, who's ready?
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Jul 15, 2014 05:02
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Powershift posted:Michener allen collector car auction is next weekend, who's ready? I just emptied my bank account paying visa and mastercard bills. So I guess I am?
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Jul 15, 2014 05:15
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The edmonton pick-n-pull has pictures for a lot of vehicles on row52.com now. I wish the calgary locations would get it together, i'm going to have to go scout out both yards some time this week.
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Jul 15, 2014 05:18
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The new Calgary yard is a lot better than the old one. Inventory post-acquisition doesn't seem as good as it was for those first few golden weeks, though.
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Jul 15, 2014 05:24
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Powershift posted:I wish the calgary locations would get it together, i'm going to have to go scout out both yards some time this week. Heh you think anything in Calgary would "get it together". Also Hello Alberta AI I am an Alberta but I've never owned a truck before does this make me a real Alberta? 
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Jul 15, 2014 05:35
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MrChips posted:Heh you think anything in Calgary would "get it together". Depends, what is your proximity to Caroline?
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Jul 15, 2014 05:50
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MrChips posted:Heh you think anything in Calgary would "get it together". You must Truck to be an Alberta, but you do not need to own a truck to Truck. (just drive like an rear end in a top hat and you'll be fine)
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Jul 15, 2014 06:07
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Can you at least pull your trunk lid off?
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Jul 15, 2014 06:22
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Slung Blade posted:Depends, what is your proximity to Caroline? Not loving far enough. Tommychu posted:(just drive like an rear end in a top hat and you'll be fine) I drive a 3-Series BMW (the 3 being the total contents of my peasant wallet to >5-Series drivers), do you really need to ask?
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Jul 15, 2014 06:26
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I spent most of my adult life in the hell that is the Alberta oilfields. Most of my family lives in Alberta. I hate the entire province with a burning passion. Odds are I'm going to end up there again eventually, and this thread will become my home for several months of the year. Automotive hell: needing to help the mechanic who works on the company's pickup trucks during mud season.
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Jul 15, 2014 07:58
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Slung Blade posted:Depends, what is your proximity to Caroline? I love how the third Google autocomplete answer for "caroline alberta" is "caroline alberta kkk," right after "caroline alberta weather."
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Jul 15, 2014 14:33
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I want to see this Pantera god dammit.
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Jul 15, 2014 15:08
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MohawkSatan posted:I spent most of my adult life in the hell that is the Alberta oilfields. Most of my family lives in Alberta. I hate the entire province with a burning passion. You'll be back. Back to feed the horrid bitumen goddess of our economy. They always come back. LloydDobler posted:I want to see this Pantera god dammit. I'll double-double that statement. Also they keep the paint fresh, every twenty minutes or so. Driven by temporary foreign workers from the Philippines. Used to be maintained fresh at the local dealer but now it gets sent back to the factory for maintenance. Comes with a side of soup or chili.
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Jul 15, 2014 15:50
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Can us Onterrible people play too? GrantC - you making the trip to Canadian AutoX nationals this year? It's all the way out in PEI... We have stupidly high drive through windows here in small town ontario too, the rollbar / windshield in the miata is completely underneath the drive through window at the McD's.
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Jul 15, 2014 17:24
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TrueChaos posted:Can us Onterrible people play too? Only if you say the Alberta Oath of Allegiance: I do solemnly swear to uphold the vision of our Venerable and Wise Eternal Premier, Ralph Klein (Peace Be Upon Him), and to uphold the values and creed of the Glorious Conservative Revolution Of Thought (May It Last For Time Eternal) for this day and for all days to come, so help me God. I hereby renounce all claim of Citizenship and Influence to all other entities, Foreign and Domestic, and formally denounce the Socialism/Statist Compact of the deviant Pierre Elliot Trudeau.
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Jul 15, 2014 21:00
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Also, no talk of safety inspections or e-tests. We're not okay with that bullshit here.
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Jul 15, 2014 21:24
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Alberta; where even the Brits drive lifted pickups
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Jul 15, 2014 21:47
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Man, if that union-jacked truck is troll, it's brilliant and subtle. But it could easily just be a dumbass redneck mistake. Either way, it's loving hilarious.
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Jul 15, 2014 22:51
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TrueChaos posted:GrantC - you making the trip to Canadian AutoX nationals this year? It's all the way out in PEI... Nope, I only attend ASN autox nationals semi-annually (if that) since it alternates halves of the country.
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Jul 15, 2014 22:59
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As a Newfoundlander, am I welcome to fly up to Alberta, take your jobs, and drive obscenely lifted mall crawler Denalis and King Ranches with oilsand money? Seems to be the thing to do these days.
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Jul 16, 2014 00:17
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MrChips posted:I drive a 3-Series BMW (the 3 being the total contents of my peasant wallet to >5-Series drivers), do you really need to ask? Most of the BMWs I see around these days are driven in a sensible manner, I think those assholes all traded their 3's and 5's in for bro-trucks. Dodge Journeys though. Christ just about every one of those things I see ends up pulling some kind of jackass move.
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Jul 16, 2014 00:19
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haha what the gently caress?
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Jul 16, 2014 00:27
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Tommychu posted:Most of the BMWs I see around these days are driven in a sensible manner, I think those assholes all traded their 3's and 5's in for bro-trucks. You say that, but as soon as i get in my bmw, i start driving like an rear end in a top hat. It's the car influencing the driver, i swear. Powershift fucked around with this message at 00:34 on Jul 16, 2014 |
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Jul 16, 2014 00:31
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Hi, I live in Alberta and have a car. 
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Jul 16, 2014 00:51
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Powershift posted:You say that, but as soon as i get in my bmw, i start driving like an rear end in a top hat. Oh yeah. I'm a reasonably personable and nice person (I'm not A Nice GuyTM though), but when I get behind the wheel I've been known to become a bit of a shithead. I chalk it up to the fumes from our Superior German Adhesives.
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Jul 16, 2014 01:00
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