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somethingawful bf
Jun 17, 2005
So I'm an Adeptus Minor of the Hermetic Order of the Golden Dawn. One of the few that is left on this planet. The powers I have are not mine, but yours, and I'm just a conduit to them for you.

1. What this is
A free tarot card reading for you

2. What is required from me?
An honest question.

3. What deck are you using?
We make our own when we get initiated, that is what I'm using.


Here is how this works. You ask a question. I will give you a card. I will not tell you the meaning of the card, you can google that yourself. If you are honest, you will get an honest response. I need at least 40 seconds to shuffle the deck between each question. I will not be doing any full readings, you will get just a single card, so make sure your questions are as specific as possible.


Khabs Am Pekht Konx Om Pax

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Whirlwind Jones
Apr 13, 2013

by Lowtax
im gay

Fuligin
Oct 27, 2010

wait what the fuck??

Am I gay?

somethingawful bf
Jun 17, 2005

5 of cups

a hole-y ghost
May 10, 2010

cool i like the magic books you guys put out

somethingawful bf
Jun 17, 2005

Fuligin posted:

Am I gay?

14. Temperence

VendaGoat
Nov 1, 2005
Who put the bop, in the bop she-bop-she-bop?

Who put the ram, in the ram-a-lam-a-ding-dong?

Whirlwind Jones
Apr 13, 2013

by Lowtax

sether01 posted:

5 of cups

Five of Cups Tarot Card Meanings Keywords

Upright: Loss, regret, disappointment, despair, bereavement

Reversed: Moving on, acceptance, forgiveness

Sounds about right.

Saalkin
Jun 29, 2008

do i look good in these jorts?

Katana_Warrior
Dec 25, 2009

should i tell my friends im gay or keep pretending im ironically gay?

Fuligin
Oct 27, 2010

wait what the fuck??

sether01 posted:

14. Temperence

Seems pretty much on point

Momplestiltskin
Jan 15, 2014

Got any extra firstborns?
The lord denounces this heresy

somethingawful bf
Jun 17, 2005

VendaGoat posted:

Who put the bop, in the bop she-bop-she-bop?

Who put the ram, in the ram-a-lam-a-ding-dong?

2 of swords reversed

frogge
Apr 7, 2006


yo bro do me
e: will I win the space lotto and get a bazillion-jillion Obama fun-bux?

somethingawful bf
Jun 17, 2005

Saalkin posted:

do i look good in these jorts?

Prince of Swords

somethingawful bf
Jun 17, 2005

Leonid posted:

should i tell my friends im gay or keep pretending im ironically gay?

9 of cups reversed

somethingawful bf
Jun 17, 2005

bobthedinosaur posted:

yo bro do me
e: will I win the space lotto and get a bazillion-jillion Obama fun-bux?

3 of wands, reversed

Dubious
Mar 7, 2006

The Heroes the Vikings Deserve
Lipstick Apathy
should i eat this Dick's Deluxe and a chocolate shake?

indigi
Jul 20, 2004

how can we not talk about family
when family's all that we got?
will poo poo work out with this lady

somethingawful bf
Jun 17, 2005
Just an addendum, you dont' have to be serious in what you type, but be serious in what you think, if you want a real answer.

InFlames235
Jan 13, 2004

LIKE THE WAVES IN THE OCEAN I WILL DIG IN YOUR FAT AND SEARCH FOR YOUR CLITORIS, BUT I WON'T SLAM WHALE
Will GRRM ever finish Game of Thrones?

somethingawful bf
Jun 17, 2005

Dubious posted:

should i eat this Dick's Deluxe and a chocolate shake?

4. The emperor reversed

felinelvr
Mar 8, 2007

Really read me I want to see what you come up with.:0

Momplestiltskin
Jan 15, 2014

Got any extra firstborns?
you skipped me

is this because i said the lord denounces your heresy?

e: he does, op, but I dont

I want your hot wet heresy right in my mouth

somethingawful bf
Jun 17, 2005

indigi posted:

will poo poo work out with this lady

8 of pentacles reversed

Pissed Ape Sexist
Apr 19, 2008

Would there be any significant benefit in commuting to my office more than two days per week?

somethingawful bf
Jun 17, 2005

InFlames235 posted:

Will GRRM ever finish Game of Thrones?

3 of wands reversed

somethingawful bf
Jun 17, 2005

Momplestiltskin posted:

you skipped me

is this because i said the lord denounces your heresy?

e: he does, op, but I dont

I want your hot wet heresy right in my mouth

that isn't a question.

felinelvr posted:

Really read me I want to see what you come up with.:0

that isn't a question either

somethingawful bf
Jun 17, 2005

HoboZero posted:

Would there be any significant benefit in commuting to my office more than two days per week?

Queen of Cups Reversed.

Momplestiltskin
Jan 15, 2014

Got any extra firstborns?
but why op?

somethingawful bf
Jun 17, 2005

Ask a question that you care about, if you care to, if not, that's fine as well.

Comfy Fleece Sweater
Apr 2, 2013

You see, but you do not observe.

Will I ever find true love?

InFlames235
Jan 13, 2004

LIKE THE WAVES IN THE OCEAN I WILL DIG IN YOUR FAT AND SEARCH FOR YOUR CLITORIS, BUT I WON'T SLAM WHALE

InFlames235 posted:

Will GRRM ever finish Game of Thrones?

sether01 posted:

3 of wands reversed

Tarot website posted:

You may also be struggling to put your plans into action and you are now feeling worried that you have gotten in over your head and tasks appear overwhelming. You may have had a lack of foresight and were unable to detect the challenges as they arose, or you may have been unrealistic about the risks associated with your plans. Break down your plans into smaller tasks to make them more manageable and more realistic. Conduct a risk assessment ahead of time to understand what challenges you may potentially face, and then create mitigation plans to avoid or minimise those risks.

Wow this poo poo is 100% spot on for GRRM I am impressed. Also, the answer is obviously "no" he will not finish.

somethingawful bf
Jun 17, 2005

Don Tacorleone posted:

Will I ever find true love?

King of Cups Reversed.

Haptical Sales Slut
Mar 15, 2010

Age 18 to 49
will i ever find love op?

SpeedGem
Sep 19, 2012

by Ralp
the hangman, and queen of wands wants a word with you.

somethingawful bf
Jun 17, 2005

Nuts and Gum posted:

will i ever find love op?

6. The Lovers

The Protagonist
Jun 29, 2009

The average is 5.5? I thought it was 4. This is very unsettling.
is bowser more disappointed in his gay son iggy or his autistic son lemmy?

felinelvr
Mar 8, 2007

Ok will I ever get over being asexual? :/

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Hometown Slime Queen
Oct 26, 2004

the GOAT
Will I end up back on the east coast or am I stuck in this loser desert?

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