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Big Beef City
Aug 15, 2013

Trixie Hardcore posted:

Lifehack: instead of getting a roommate just have sex with someone regularly and then you can live in their house while they pay all the bills.

This only works for sluts though so goon mileage may vary

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Return Of JimmyJars
Jun 24, 2006

by FactsAreUseless

MY BF LESLIE SAID posted:

my fat Jew roommate is a habitual liar and is retarded and wants people to like her so much she alienates everyone and she has massive titties

Can u install a toilet cam in her bathroom and post the link here kthx

OMFG FURRY
Jul 10, 2006

[snarky comment]
i save bacon grease but i always use it when i make stews or lentils

i had a roommate that literally never did dishes, left for two weeks to go out of town, and came back to a sink full of brown water and maggots. he then asked me when i was going to do dishes

its okay though, i cock blocked him and then hosed a girl he had the hots for and told her to make as much noise as possible.

KernelSlanders
May 27, 2013

Rogue operating systems on occasion spread lies and rumors about me.
Entire closet filled with plastic grocery bags that can't be thrown out because we might want to use them some day / waste is destroying the planet.

Harald
Jul 10, 2009

LINKIN PARK


re-using bacon grease in cornbread is a good and I won't hear otherwise

Big Beef City
Aug 15, 2013

I had a roommate who played Tribes II all the time and had cheesy PC speakers and I was like "Goddamn dude are you playing Tribes II too loud again?"

And he was.

He loving was playing Tribes II too loudly for my preference that fucker.

Professor Shark
May 22, 2012

MY BF LESLIE SAID posted:

Yes. Dude what the gently caress. Does your sister live in Arizona?

No :(

Dubsy
Jul 17, 2014

OMFG FURRY posted:

its okay though, i cock blocked him and then hosed a girl he had the hots for and told her to make as much noise as possible.

MY BF LESLIE SAID
Jun 9, 2006

by Lowtax

Well it's good to know that there are multiple Jews with M names that are ruining people's lives

Hector Beerlioz
Jun 16, 2010

aw, hec
One roommate tried to grow his own kambucha in an empty Jack Daniels bottle but it died and he just left ut on his desk and it started to fester.

This was in college, and he and I were in the same biology class. We were dissecting a cows heart and he was collecting all the fat in order to make soap in the dorm room. I told him no.

therattle
Jul 24, 2007
Soiled Meat

Gypsum Fantastic posted:

My favourite housemate mostly spent his life in his room painting little tiny elves but when he did venture out it was to tell us all about he was a god and one time we invited us to the pub to be nice and he came out in big brown robes which he said were his Jedi robes so we stopped asking him out and also he was stalking a Jewish girl.

Wouldn't it be nice if the Jewish girl he was stalking was one of those mentioned in this thread as wanting to be liked?

Big Beef City
Aug 15, 2013

I dated a Jewish girl once, she was Sicilian and let me raw dog her like no one's business and I wish the same for the OP and all of you (even the lady posters itt) because that was hot as hell.

MY BF LESLIE SAID
Jun 9, 2006

by Lowtax

Big Beef City posted:

I dated a Jewish girl once, she was Sicilian and let me raw dog her like no one's business and I wish the same for the OP and all of you (even the lady posters itt) because that was hot as hell.

My roommate looks like she has FAS but her jugs are massive

ANIME IS BLOOD
Sep 4, 2008

by zen death robot

Big Beef City posted:

lmao if you need room mates.
Why don't you loving nut up and live like an adult?

Clochette
Aug 12, 2013

My mom used to save cooking grease in Snapple bottles. And leave them in the fridge. :saddowns:

Trixie Hardcore
Jul 1, 2006

Placeholder.
What's the point of having roommates if you can't rawdog them?

Robo Reagan
Feb 12, 2012

by Fluffdaddy
never had roommates instead i moved in with my gf and we're constantly having sex and nobody leaves nasty grease around it owns i recommend it

Drunk & Ugly
Feb 10, 2003

GIMME GIMME GIMME, DON'T ASK WHAT FOR

MY BF LESLIE SAID posted:

My roommate looks like she has FAS but her jugs are massive

oy a regular dybbuk to be schtupped from behind

Rad Tad
Jul 2, 2014

MY BF LESLIE SAID posted:

my fat Jew roommate is a habitual liar and is retarded and wants people to like her so much she alienates everyone and she has massive titties

miranda holstein

The Protagonist
Jun 29, 2009

The average is 5.5? I thought it was 4. This is very unsettling.

Trixie Hardcore posted:

Lifehack: instead of getting a roommate just have sex with someone regularly and then you can live in their house while they pay all the bills.

see this is why ladies don't get equal pay, we know all their drinks, dinners and rents are free

Carol Pizzamom
Jul 13, 2006

a bear you feed is a bear and a steed
hah. roommates. what a crazy thing

Persona non grata
Apr 25, 2010
Lol if you poor grease down the sink. Lol.

Big Bowie Bonanza
Dec 30, 2007

please tell me where i can date this cute boy
my roommate tried to evict me even though i'm a co-tenant and on the lease and i asked her why she wanted to evict me and she said "if you dont know already you won't understand if i tell you"

i'm still here 6 months later and she's trying to evict me again and won't tell me why

XMNN
Apr 26, 2008
I am incredibly stupid
get out before she kills you in your sleep

Big Bowie Bonanza
Dec 30, 2007

please tell me where i can date this cute boy
yeah i'm moving at the end of this month

i told her and then i got the latest eviction notice she wrote herself on my bedroom door

Kombotron
Aug 11, 2011

MY BF LESLIE SAID posted:

my fat Jew roommate is a habitual liar and is retarded and wants people to like her so much she alienates everyone and she has massive titties

massive tities cant alienate.

Fat Lowtax
Nov 9, 2008


"I'm willing to pay up to $1200 for a big anime titty"


Me. Wash a dish. Lol. As if.

Kombotron
Aug 11, 2011

Trixie Hardcore posted:

Lifehack: instead of getting a roommate just have sex with someone regularly and then you can live in their house while they pay all the bills.

this is actually great advice

please provide more whorebservations.

Nut to Butt
Apr 13, 2009

by FactsAreUseless

FordPRefectLL posted:

yeah i'm moving at the end of this month

i told her and then i got the latest eviction notice she wrote herself on my bedroom door

what the actual gently caress

give that bitch to the zoo

gagelion
Jun 13, 2013

by XyloJW

FordPRefectLL posted:

my roommate tried to evict me even though i'm a co-tenant and on the lease and i asked her why she wanted to evict me and she said "if you dont know already you won't understand if i tell you"

i'm still here 6 months later and she's trying to evict me again and won't tell me why

youre a man and shes a woman pretty self explanatory you misogynist scum

Big Beef City
Aug 15, 2013

I like that he stayed with her for 6+ months after she literally told him she hated him and couldn't stand living with him.

Regardless of who's fault it was, what a goon-rear end way of doing things. "Oh the person I live with is crazy and hates everything about me. Well better keep paying rent here and just sighing as she verbally abuses me."

gagelion
Jun 13, 2013

by XyloJW

Big Beef City posted:

I like that he stayed with her for 6+ months after she literally told him she hated him and couldn't stand living with him.

Regardless of who's fault it was, what a goon-rear end way of doing things. "Oh the person I live with is crazy and hates everything about me. Well better keep paying rent here and just sighing as she verbally abuses me."

haha yeah just like people in abusive relationships what loving idiots

Cucking Mama
Sep 27, 2013

Gold Medalist, 2014 shit post olympics
the pyf pet peeves thread has become a forum

NiceGuy
Dec 13, 2006

This is my BOOMSTICK
College Slice

Big Beef City posted:

I like that he stayed with her for 6+ months after she literally told him she hated him and couldn't stand living with him.

Regardless of who's fault it was, what a goon-rear end way of doing things. "Oh the person I live with is crazy and hates everything about me. Well better keep paying rent here and just sighing as she verbally abuses me."

Lmao yeah that guy should have just uprooted his whole life because some loving spergy hambeast roommate taped a note to his door.

Big Beef City
Aug 15, 2013

Yes, he should have.

Drunk Nerds
Jan 25, 2011

Just close your eyes
Fun Shoe
Bring my fish back OWNED this thread when it was "pyf horrible roommate story," maybe I'll dig up some highlights. Like when her roommate's bf cooked a great dinner for his first meeting with her parents, and the first thing her mom did was hide under the table for an hour sobbing and screaming for wine.

Verisimilidude
Dec 20, 2006

Strike quick and hurry at him,
not caring to hit or miss.
So that you dishonor him before the judges



MY BF LESLIE SAID posted:

My roommate looks like she has FAS but her jugs are massive

sounds like you want to gently caress your roommate

ShaunO
Jan 29, 2006

- don't put a new roll of tp on the tp holder
- dishes in the sink despite empty dishwasher right underneath
- using a kitchen washcloth to wipe/clean something and just throwing in the sink without rinsing it to become a horrible solid mess
- shave face without using water and leave the bathroom sink covered in stubble
- leave takeout food containers open on the kitchen bench overnight
- shower once a week/fortnight and generally smell pretty bad

seriously goons, please shower daily and wear clean clothes

gagelion
Jun 13, 2013

by XyloJW
I shower at least twice per fortnight, mlady

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Persona non grata
Apr 25, 2010
How can people not like showering? I'm a lazy slob in basically every other way, but a 20 minute shower in scalding hot water is amazing.

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