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frankenfreak
Feb 16, 2007

Coming from the deeps of the Frankenwald to haunt you



22 children of the Bundesliga and Shkodran Mustafi brought it home



If you hadn't noticed before, the Bayern-Dortmund Champions League final 2013 certainly cemented the Bundesliga's status as one of the top 3 leagues in Europe and the world. After winning the World Cup thanks to a spine of Bayern players and some others, it's time to put the unity of cheering for the national team behind us and return to the tribalism and hating each other of club football.

Once again, 17 teams vie to dethrone Bayern from their throne. From their fiercest rivals in recent years, Borussia Dortmund, to SC Paderborn who still haven't quite understood how they ended up here and what the hell they're supposed to do. The season will kick off on August 22nd with Bayern-Wolfsburg and end on May 23rd, 2015.

Healbot posted:

What is the Bundesliga?

It's Germany's topflight in professional football, with 18 teams competing for the championship and European starting spots. Though realistically 8 of those teams will struggle for survival in the vain hope of not placing 16th and lower, the relegation (and play-off) spots, potentially leading to a grim future.

Germany's unified league system developed quite late when compared to England, Spain or Italy, as the Bundesliga was created in 1962 (after a German loss in the WC quarterfinals) and competition starting in 1963/64, with the time during the World Wars being mostly a southern Germany affair.

The Bundesliga is currently the third best football league in Europe and boasts the highest average attendance on the continent (about 41.000).

The Teams



Fußball-Club Bayern München e. V.
(aka FCB, Bayern, Dusel-Bayern)

Founded: 1900
Official colours: red and white
Home ground: Allianz Arena (71,901)
Biggest rival: All of them except Bochum
Current Manager: Josep „Pep“ Guardiola i Sala
Domestic titles:
Championship: 1932, 1969, 1972, 1973, 1974, 1980, 1981, 1985, 1986, 1987, 1989, 1990, 1994, 1997, 1999, 2000, 2001, 2003, 2005, 2006, 2008, 2010, 2013, 2014
German Cup: 1957, 1966, 1967, 1969, 1971, 1982, 1984, 1986, 1998, 2000, 2003, 2005, 2006, 2008, 2010, 2013,2014
International titles:
Champion's League: 1974, 1975, 1976, 2001, 2013
Cup Winner's Cup: 1967
UEFA-Cup: 1996

Pep took over the triple-winning side from Jupp Heynckes and disappointed everyone by bringing home a mere double in his first season. Everyone is waiting with bated breath whether Pep has realized how thoroughly Tiki Taka has been killed by now. If he hasn't, the Barcafication of Bayern will continue until even Lewandowski and Neuer are used as central midfielders. If he has, he surely has already hatched a new twist on his philosophy to keep Bayern's dominance. Lacking that, the sheer talent on this team will likely suffice.

Why you should root for them: They win things. You likely know a lot of these guys from the World Cup. Thomas Müller
Why you should hate them: They win too much. Pep lets them play boring football. Bayern winning is boring. Their fans are boring/terrible/entitled. Arjen Robben.




Ballspielverein Borussia 09 e. V. Dortmund
(aka Borussia Dortmund, BVB)

Founded: 1909
Official colours: yellow and black
Home ground: Signal Iduna Park (80,720)
Biggest rival: FC Schalke 04
Current Manager: Jürgen Klopp
Domestic titles:
Champions: 1956, 1957, 1963, 1995, 1996, 2002, 2011, 2012
German Cup: 1965, 1989, 2012
International titles:
Champions League: 1997
Cup Winners Cup: 1966

Bayern's main rival for several years now face a - now familiar - challenge of losing one of their key players to Bayern. Last year it was Götze, this year it's Lewandowski. Other than that the core of the team stayed together, but will have to adjust to Ciro Immobile up front. Klopp has proven that his team are capable to evolve, so Dortmund should have another good season, marred mainly by bad puns about their new striker.

Why you should root for them: The energy and enthusiasm that Klopp embodies and that has sprung over to the team and the supporters.
Why you should hate them: The energy and aggression that Klopp embodies. Fans starting to feel entitled after a couple of good years. Kevin Großkreutz.




FC Gelsenkirchen-Schalke 04 e.V
(aka Schalke 04, S04, „Die Knappen“, “4-Minuten-Meister”)

Founded: 1904
Official colours: blue and white
Home ground: Veltins-Arena (61,673)
Biggest rival: Borussia Dortmund
Current Manager: Jens Keller
Domestic titles:
Championship: 1934, 1935, 1937, 1939, 1940, 1942, 1958
German Cup: 1937, 1972, 2001, 2002, 2011
International titles:
UEFA-Cup: 1997
UI-Cup: 2009, 2004

While Schalke have regularly finished in the top 4 in recent years, it still feels weird seeing them finish in 3rd place. A talented bunch, most of their season felt like a terrible slog through disappointments sprinkled with the occasional outstanding performance that hinted at what this team could be capable of. The face of this malaise is Jens Keller. Literally. His constant expression of discomfort and concern is an embodiment of Schalke's woes. Despite massive criticism over the inconsisent and sometimes underwhelming performance of the team, Keller has defied the media by not getting fired - yet. One thing is certain: Schalke will continue to be a good source of schadenfreude.

Why you should root for them: True working class roots. Feeling like a plucky underdog despite competing for a top 4 finish with a talented team.
Why you should hate them: Noveau riche thanks to taking on debt/Russian gas money. Club run by bellends (i.e. Clemens Tönnies).




Bayer 04 Leverkusen Fußball GmbH
(aka Bayer, Werkself, Vizekusen)

Founded: 1904
Official colours: red and black
Home ground: BayArena (30,210)
Biggest rival: 1. FC Köln
Current Manager: Roger Schmidt
Domestic titles:
German Cup: 1993
International titles:
UEFA-Cup: 1988

Sami Hyypiä has been replaced as manager by Roger Schmidt who has been hailed as a great talent ever since leading Paderborn into the 2. Bundesliga and keeping them there. After a two year stint with Red Bull Salzburg, he now has his first chance to prove his management skills at the top level. He will have no excuses for failure. Bayer have, over the past several years, quietly assembled a complete team of great talent and even some depth. A top 4 finish is to be expected, but the competition is fierce this year.

Why you should root for them: A talented team that usually plays attractive football. Pity because they can't consistently sell out their small stadium.
Why you should hate them: They're the original plastic club funded by Bayer. Rudi Völler's aggressive ranting. You loving hate Leverkusen's loan bullshit.



Verein für Leibesübungen Wolfsburg Fußball GmbH
(aka VfL Wolfsburg, “Die Wölfe”)

Founded: 2001 (1945)
Official colours: green and white
Home ground: Volkswagen Arena (30,000)
Biggest rival: The plastic fans really don’t care
Current Manager: Dieter Hecking
Domestic titles:
Championship: 2009

With Hecking at the helm, Wolfsburg have recovered from the often chaotic Magath years. In his first full season, he lead the team to their best finish since their championship with some recognizable names like Luiz Gustavo, Diego Benaglio, Kevin de Bruyne and the indomitable Ivica Olic and a bunch of mediocre talent surrounding them. Surprisingly, Wolfsburg haven't dipped their toes very deep into the transfer pool. Either Hecking is content with adding only defender Sebastian Jung and midfielder Aaron Hunt or he's just waiting for the right target to spend that always plentiful VW money on.

Why you should root for them: They have cool guys like Ivica Olic on the team. You fondly remember Roy Präger.
Why you should hate them: They're a plastic club funded by VW. They're as boring as their city.




Borussia Verein für Leibesübungen 1900 Mönchengladbach e. V.
(aka Borussia Mönchengladbach or "Die Fohlen")

Founded: 1900
Official colours: black, white and red
Home ground: Stadion im Borussia-Park (54,067)
Biggest rival: 1. FC Köln
Current Manager: Lucien Favre
Domestic titles:
Championship: 1970, 1971, 1975, 1976, 1977
German Cup: 1960, 1973, 1995
International titles:
UEFA-Cup: 1975, 1979

"The other Borussia" is currently enjoying its best spell since the early 1990s team of Effenberg et al., but their reputation stems from the 1970s where they were the main rivals to the golden generation of Bayern. Back then, they were synonymous with an energetic, offensive style, now Lucien Favre has installed his trademark compact 4-4-2 system. It remains to be seen if the team will stagnate in Favre's fourth season or can continue to carefully make steps forward, towards another run into the Europa League.

Why you should root for them: You want to follow a rock-solid team that can upset the top clubs on a good day. You are attracted by their 1970s legacy, including Günter Netzer's fabulous hair.
Why you should hate them: You'd prefer more of a spectacle. You already root for another team from Northrhine-Westphalia.




1. Fußball- und Sportverein Mainz 05 e.V.
(aka Mainz 05, Karnevalsverein)

Founded: 1905
Official colours: red and white
Home ground: Coface Arena (34,034)
Biggest rival: SV Wehen-Wiesbaden, Eintracht Frankfurt to a degree
Current Manager: Kasper Hjulmand

After five years at the helm, Thomas "Klopp jr." Tuchel resigned and is being succeeded by former FC Nordsjaelland manager Kaspar Hjulmand. Largely unknown outside of his native Denmark, he has been hailed as a tactical whiz and a great fit for the club by the club's bosses. The team has stayed together for the most part (that part being Choupo-Moting) and has been well-drilled into overachieving by Tuchel. Following Tuchel and his reputation for finely tuning the team's tactics to the opponent and keeping up recent successes still seems like a tall order.

Why you should root for them: You like Karneval, but neither Cologne nor Düsseldorf.
Why you should hate them: You like Karneval, but rather Cologne or Düsseldorf.




Fußball-Club Augsburg 1907 e. V.
(aka FC Augsburg, FCA)

Founded: 1907
Official colours: red, green and white
Home ground: SGL arena (30,660)
Biggest rival: TSV 1860 München
Current Manager: Markus Weinzierl

After two years of barely escaping relegation, Augsburg became overachievers of the year with a surprising 8th place finish. It will be hard to follow that, but if anyone can, it's Augsburg. Manager Weinzierl has a knack for the getting the most out of a mostly mediocre bunch which has earned him a place on the shortlist of every Bundesliga club looking for a new manager.

Why you should root for them: You like overachieving underdogs. You like the risk that the mediocre bunch will not overachieve this year.
Why you should hate them: Um... errr... hmmm... Ah! I got one: they might stop overachieving.




Turn- und Sportgemeinschaft 1899 Hoffenheim e. V.
(aka TSG, Hoffe, 18,99, Hoppenheim)

Founded: 1899
Official colours: blue and white
Home ground: Rhein-Neckar-Arena (30,150)
Biggest rival: real fans, maybe VfB Stuttgart to a certain extent
Current Manager: Markus Gisdol

In his youth, Dietmar Hopp played football for TSG Hoffenheim and 27 years later, he decided to give something back and help the small town club. In between, Hopp had founded SAP, a multi-billion euro enterprise, and had become a billionaire himself. He pumped considerable amounts into the club, including training center and a new stadium. And of course a lot of players, although Hopp and Hoffenheim have avoided really big transfers. After a lot of trouble in the locker room, the team seems to have stabilized under Markus Gisdol's leadership. The young team occassionaly shows flashes of the team that stunned the league after their promotion, but is also prone to fall completely apart from time to time.

Why you should root for them: Hoffenheim matches are rarely boring. Pity because no one likes them. You buy into the romantic illusion of the club from a small village making it to the big leagues.
Why you should hate them: They're plastic-est of plastic clubs in the Bundesliga. Despite their pledges of focussing on youth development, most of their young talent is still bought and paid for.




Hannoverscher Sportverein von 1896 e. V.
(aka Hannover 96, Die 96er, Die Roten)

Founded: 1896
Official colours: black, white and green
Home ground: AWD-Arena (49,000)
Biggest rival: Eintracht Braunschweig, Werder Bremen
Current Manager: Tayfun Korkut
Domestic titles:
Championship: 1938, 1954
German Cup: 1992
International titles:
UI Cup: 1967, 1972, 1973

4th, 7th, 9th, 10th - these are the last four season finishes of Hannover. This slow slide downward cost Mirko Slomka his job. Had his magic worn off or was it just the result of the talent getting picked from the team bit by bit and not adequately replaced. The trend seems to continue this season and, despite his stormy name, Tayfun Orkut has not yet left an impression. Maybe he can with a full pre-season and lead Hannover to a solid mid-table finish (even though expectations may be higher than that) or he could be found to be completely out of his depth and throw the team into the relegation battle.

Why you should root for them: You like the utter blandness they embody.
Why you should hate them: Hannover is the epitome of boring - both the city and the club. Chairman Martin Kind is lobbying for allowing complete takeovers (a.k.a. eliminating the 50+1 rule).




Hertha BSC Berlin
Founded: 1892
Official colours: blue and white
Home ground: Olympiastadion Berlin (74,244)
Biggest rival: Schalke
Current Manager: Jos Luhukay
Domestic titles:
Championship: 1930, 1931

After their return to the Bundesliga in 1997, Hertha was a club full of ambition befitting the club from the nation's capital. Years of misguided actions and overpaying for mediocre players culminated one Champions League run, but ultimately led to turmoil and relegation. Today, Hertha got their poo poo (somewhat) together and are helmed by Jos Luhukay who furthers his reputation as unspectacular, but solid manager and should continue to do so.

Why you should root for them: Berlin. You find the fact that the club’s named after the steamboat on which it was founded quaint.
Why you should hate them: Berlin. Their fans are an aggressive bunch prone to demolishing their own stadium.




Sport-Verein Werder von 1899 e. V. Bremen
(aka Werder Bremen, Werder, “Die Fischköppe”)

Founded: 1899
Official colours: green and white
Home ground: Weserstadion (43,789)
Biggest rival: Hamburger SV
Current Manager: Robin Dutt
Domestic titles:
Championship: 1965, 1988, 1993, 2004
German Cup: 1961, 1991, 1994, 1999, 2004, 2009
International titles:
UI-Cup: 1998
Cup Winners’ Cup: 1992

Werder has fallen far from grace. Once a side playing a high-risk "score one more than the opponent" style that was a joy to watch and - for the longest time - successful, they have turned into a mediocre team that seems to lack a coherent vision. Robin Dutt, part of the "concept manager" fad, is still trying to find something to shape this team into before the reputation he built during his stint with Freiburg runs out. The team and the transfers don't inspire confidence and it looks to be another long slog until relegation is mathematically impossible.

Why you should root for them: You still believe they're just one step away from returning to their early 2000s form.
Why you should hate them: Their sponsor Wiesenhof is a terrible company. You realize they’re far, far away from their early 2000s form.




Eintracht Frankfurt e. V.
(aka Die Adler, SGE, Schlappekicker, Launische Diva)

Founded: 1899
Official colours: Red, black and white
Home ground: Commerzbank-Arena (51.500)
Biggest rival: Kickers Offenbach
Current Manager: Thomas Schaaf
Domestic titles:
Championship: 1959
German Cup: 1974, 1975, 1981, 1988
International titles:
Cup Winners' Cup: 1980

The "moody diva" has shed this image ever since Heribert Bruchhagen took over the business side of the club. Even the 2011 relegation did not result in panic spending, but Bruchhagen continued to impose his calm, northern prudence on the club. The northern influence will be strengthened by Thomas Schaaf who, after a one year hiatus, will not wear the Werder crest for the first time in forever. His predecessor Armin Veh built a solid team which worked well as a unit, but several of its key players left. It will be interesting to see whether Schaaf follows in his footstep or implements his trademark "score one more than the opponent" style and how they cope with the loss of personnel.

Why you should root for them: You hope Schaaf turns them into the new Werder.
Why you should hate them: Their fans are terrible bunch who once hailed themselves "German rioting champions".




Sport-Club Freiburg
(aka Breisgau Brasilianer)

Founded: 1904
Official colours: red and white
Home ground: Badenova-Stadion (24,000)
Biggest rival: VfB Stuttgart
Current Manager: Christian Streich

Despite being a rather small club, Freiburg has established itself as a familiar name in the Bundesliga and built up a lot of sympathy. Usually associated with young players playing attractive short-passing football, Christian Streich has strayed a bit from this image. A media darling, sometimes choleric on the sideline, but always a hard, thorough worker, his team plays with more safety in mind than the clichés about Freiburg imply. Likely that's because they're well aware that the 5th place finish in 12/13 was, mostly, a fluke. They have, however, produced some talent that's gone on to bigger things and may even hold on to world champion Matthias Ginter.

Why you should root for them: They are from a small, relaxed town full of students with a Green mayor.
Why you should hate them: It's not been the same ever since Finke left. Streich’s annoying raging histrionics and him feeling insulted when called out for it.




Verein für Bewegungsspiele Stuttgart 1893 e. V.
(aka VfB)

Founded: 1893
Official colours: white and red
Home ground: Mercedes-Benz Arena (60,449)
Biggest rival: Karlsruher SC
Current Manager: Armin Veh
Domestic titles:
Championship: 1950, 1952, 1984, 1992, 2007
German Cup: 1954, 1958, 1997

Pretending to play football, the clubs foundation was a lost pub bet in which a drunk Swabian idiot confused 'footing the bill' with kicking the crap out of his neighbors, the Hitlers (and look what that got us). Here we are 119 years after the fact and the club still has not learned what the beautiful game of football entails. However, their saviour has returned: Armin Veh is back as manager and the Stuttgart faithful hope this marks an end to the string of terrible managers in charge ever since he left. They also hope that he can turn the offense, which looks good on paper, into a real, consistent threat, and fix the defence, too. His last stint in Frankfurt proved that he can mold a mediocre team into a good unit and he arguably has a slightly higher level of talent available here.

Why you should root for them: You are euroboy and they have Mo Abdellaoue.More drama than in any scripted reality show.
Why you should hate them: Armin Veh’s smugness. Swabian Bruddeler Fans: the team loses once and the whole world crumbles (“I hanns doch imma scho gsagt”).




Hamburger Sport-Verein e.V.
(aka HSV, Rothosen)

Founded: 1887
Official colours: blue, white and black
Home ground: Imtech Arena (57,000)
Biggest rival: St. Pauli, Werder Bremen
Current Manager: Mirko Slomka
Domestic titles:
Championship: 1923, 1928, 1960, 1979, 1982, 1983
German Cup: 1963, 1976, 1987
International titles:
European Cup: 1983
Cup Winners' Cup: 1977

"H-H-H-S-V!" is a classic chant of Hamburg supporters, "Ha ha, HSV!" is what we post when the league's prime source for schadenfreude delivers again. The club itself was notoriously torn apart by the egos of its board members whose feuds were well chronicled in the local tabloids which has prevented any sense of realism arriving about their steady decline. This summer, a club reform was voted on that should reduce the infighting, only to be challenged in court over a formality (which couldn't/can't really stop it, though). The last founding member of the Bundesliga to never be relegated, Hamburg barely dodged the bullet in the last two years, "winning" the relegation playoff against Fürth with two draws last season. If the new regime doesn't start rebuilding the team fast and hard, it will be another very, very difficult season for them.

Why you should root for them: You genuinely think they're just one step away from the big turnaround.
Why you should hate them: You find the backroom chaos endearing or just delight in schadenfreude. Or you just want the club put out of its misery and finally punted into the 2. Bundesliga.




1. Fußball-Club Köln 01/07 e.V.
Founded: 1948 (merger of two clubs founded in 1901 and 1907)
Official colours: red and white
Home ground: RheinEnergieStadion (49.968)
Biggest rival: Bayer Leverkusen, Fortuna Düsseldorf
Current Manager: Peter Stöger
Domestic titles:
Championship: 1962, 1964, 1978
German Cup: 1968, 1977, 1978, 1983

Welcome back to one of the names that feels like it should always be a part of the Bundesliga! Since their first ever relegation in 1998, Köln have been bouncing back and forth between leagues. There's always a sense that this is only a temporary inconvenience, but the club seems to have realized that you shouldn't spend as if you're going to qualify for the Europa League in your first season back. On paper, Köln's team looks like a top 2. Bundesliga contender, but, as always, it remains to be seen where that puts you in the top flight.

Why you should root for them: You like Karneval, but not Mainz or Düsseldorf. You think Kölsch is actually beer. They have a live animal mascot.
Why you should hate them: Poldi is not here anymore. You're rooting for another club from along the Rhine.




SC Paderborn 07 e.V.
(aka SCP)

Founded: 1907
Official colours: blue, black and white
Home ground: Benteler-Arena (15,000)
Biggest rival: Arminia Bielefeld, Rot-Weiß Ahlen, VfL Osnabrück
Current Manager: André Breitenreiter

This season's team that's just happy to be here, replacing Eintracht Braunschweig in that capacity. Where Eintracht Braunschweig was a name with a lot of tradition attached, Paderborn are joining the likes of SSV Ulm and SpVgg Unterhaching in the "Who? How did they get in here?" category. If the club is known for anything, it's that Roger Schmidt, Leverkusen's new manager, built his reputation here. While the team features a couple of names you might have heard somewhere before (e.g. Amedick, Vrancic, Stoppelkamp, Duksch), anything beyond "a respectable showing" would be a huge surprise. Fun fact: Benteler-Arena famous for it's 2000 bicycle stands and you better be quiet when leaving after a game.

Why you should root for them: The biggest underdog the league has to offer this year.
Why you should hate them: How can you hate something you know nothing about?

When are they playing?

The German Bundesliga usually plays all games of a matchday in "one" piece. No "x games in hand" crap to keep in mind unless winter or rain strike really hard.

The standard Bundesliga weekend looks like this:
  • Friday, 20:30: 1 game
  • Saturday, 15:30: 5 games
  • Saturday, 18:30: 1 game
  • Sunday, 15:30: 1 game
  • Sunday, 17:30: 1 game
In some weeks with European competitions mid-week, the Friday game gets preemted. There's also going to be some mid-week fixtures. On the last two weekends, all 9 games are played simultaneously, saturdays, 15:30 which makes for good drama (just ask Schalke).

If you're unsure if there are games, ask Wazza's Magical Fixture Link.


Other Competitions

As always, this thread will be open to discussion to all things German football from the cup and the national team to the dreary depths of the 2. Bundesliga.


Resources

Bundesliga.de (German/English) - The league's official site and decent news source
Kicker (German) - Germany's biggest sports magazine (which means football + a couple of pages of other stuff), website can be a bit of a pain to navigate
The Guardian (English) - The Guardian's Bundesliga section (Trigger warning: Rafa Honigstein)
ESPN FC (English) - ESPN's Bundesliga coverage (Trigger warning: usage of the s-word)
Kicktipp (German/English) - A "guess the score" game. Don't forget to tipp your kicks!

Serious Business

The Bundesliga is serious business. So serious that a bunch of posters have decided to throw down some es. Fools!

Katana Gomai posted:

Toxx time is over, so here's A POST OF ES (just quote this into the OP, Frankenfreak)

FC BAYERN
Healbot: Probate me for eleven years for a week if Bayern don't win the league (you read that right).
Smirr: Probate me for 6 hours if Bayern don't win the Schale.

BORUSSIA DORTMUND
MuLepton: Probate me for one week each time Dortmund beats Bayern plus one additional day for each goal they score more in that match.

FC SCHALKE
Myron: Probate me for 2 weeks if Schalke doesn't get rid of Keller. (If he goes back to being youth coach, that also counts as getting rid of him.)

BAYER LEVERKUSEN
bignose: Probate me for a week if Leverkusen beats Köln at the RheinEnergie Stadion.

Katana Gomai: Probate me for a week if Köln beats Leverkusen in any game this season.
Probate me for two weeks if they beat us twice.
Probate me for a month if they finish the season ahead of us.

General Probe: Probate me one day for every -1 GD Leverkusen finishes with in Europe this season.
Probate me for one week if they fail to finish top four this season.
Probate me for three weeks if they get no CL/EL spot.
Ban me if they are relegated, but that's not going to happen.

FC AUGSBURG
Honj Steak: Ban me if Augsburg gets relegated.

VFB STUTTGART
bignose: Probate me for a month if Stuttgart fires Veh during the season.

HERTHA BSC
Smirr: probate me for a month if Hertha get relegated.
Ban me if they play in the EL or CL next season (unless it's by that fair play poo poo again).
Permaban me if they win the league.

WERDER BREMEN
scourgeofthe7bees: For the point difference between Werder and first-place team, multiply that number by 12 and probate me for that many hours.
If this number is 0, that means Werder have won the league at which point I would like a custom title of "WERDER PLASTIC - MILLIARDEN JAHRE GRÜN-WEIß" (I don't think it works that way - KG.)

HAMBURGER SV
Frungy!: Please ban me if HSV gets relegated.

azathosk: I'll jump on the toxx train as well. Probate me for a week if HSV does NOT sack Mirko Slomka before January.

1. FC KÖLN
Gold and a Pager: probate me for a month if 1. FC Koeln get relegated and/or for one week if Fortuna Duesseldorf get promoted.

1. FC NÜRNBERG
frankenfreak: gently caress it, I'll toxx as well. Taking my inspiration from Katana Gomai, probate me for one week every time Greuther beat us and ban me if they finish the season ahead of us.

nippythefish: Nürnberg advances to 1.Bundesliga at the conclusion of the season. I'll take a ban if this doesn't happen.

ROBERT LEWANDOWSKI (lol)
Dunban: Also, in honor of our friend Mackintosh: probate me for one day for each goal that Robert Lewandowski is behind the top scorer of the league at the end of the season

Thanks to everyone who helped with their contributions and corrections!

frankenfreak fucked around with this message at Aug 8, 2014 around 08:37

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Honj Steak
May 31, 2013

Hi there.


There is no reason to hate Augsburg.

ephex
Nov 4, 2007




PHWOAR CRIMINAL


nice op, op

hopterque
Mar 9, 2007

IM NOT A HORSES ASS.... IM A HORSES VAGINA!


It came home this year boys, it was glorious.

Dunban
Jul 4, 2012

OH MY GOD GLOVER


If you wanna be a cool and good Bundesliga fan you should follow TuT for all the Bundesliga news you need.

Maradonna Summer
Oct 22, 2005

Our love will last forever

TRP Post Of The Tournament Winner World Cup 2014


pros and cons of supporting hertha please

Katana Gomai
Jan 14, 2007

"Thus," concluded Miyamoto, "you must give up everything you have to be my disciple."


Ground floor for Weltmeister season.

Hegay
Jun 29, 2012



Good OP, poor title

elbkaida
Jan 13, 2008
Look!

Nice! I always thought Hannover had a big rivalry with Braunschweig, or is that just onesided?

Torrannor
Apr 27, 2013


Great OP. Nice to have Köln return so all those clubs having them as their rival can finally play them again regularly. (Also, Karneval in Cologne easily beats these other fucks.)

Still hoping for the cool lads of the BVB to end Bayern domination.

Dunban
Jul 4, 2012

OH MY GOD GLOVER


The name of Hannover's manager is Tayfun Korkut, by the way.

Oh, and I guess Stuttgarts biggest rivals are Karlsruhe.

Smirr
Jun 28, 2012



Maradonna Summer posted:

pros and cons of supporting hertha please

Pro: best club
Con: poo poo at everything, although a little less poo poo than a couple of years ago

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Ijz2jOJPDQ

Maradonna Summer
Oct 22, 2005

Our love will last forever

TRP Post Of The Tournament Winner World Cup 2014


Hegay posted:

Good OP, poor title

agreed, mods change to Haim

Honj Steak
May 31, 2013

Hi there.


Maradonna Summer posted:

agreed, mods change to Haim

Haim is an old Hebrew name, isn't it?.

Jose
Jul 24, 2007



Bayern are going to win the league itpo

Drogadon
Jun 26, 2003



Hello world champions.

I'm here to follow Mainz 05 because now Junior Diaz is cool and good.

I have officially set up alerts in fotmob and will watch whenever I can (so whenever they play Bayern probably because Bayern is mostly all the bundesliga they show around here).

Katana Gomai
Jan 14, 2007

"Thus," concluded Miyamoto, "you must give up everything you have to be my disciple."


Drogadon posted:

Hello world champions.

I'm here to follow Mainz 05 because now Junior Diaz is cool and good.

I have officially set up alerts in fotmob and will watch whenever I can (so whenever they play Bayern probably because Bayern is mostly all the bundesliga they show around here).

enjoy the Bundesliga, buddy

Dunban
Jul 4, 2012

OH MY GOD GLOVER


Speaking of Mainz..does anyone know anything about Kasper Hjulmand?

Hegav?

Hegay
Jun 29, 2012



Dunban posted:

Speaking of Mainz..does anyone know anything about Kasper Hjulmand?

Hegav?


I do. He's the Danish version of Pep Guardiola pretty much with everything from youth structure to play. He does however utilize wingers a bit more and is not 100% possession play, sometimes he plays for results as well. He's a pretty good coach tbh and could easily have been our national team manager.

e: I saw Bild calling him a Klopp light as well which is pretty apt too.

Healbot
Jul 7, 2006

very very very fucjable
very vywr very

Nice OP














































For me to poop on.

Edit: once I get ahold of my desktop PC the old thread will die.

Healbot fucked around with this message at Jul 20, 2014 around 15:36

MuLepton
Apr 1, 2011


Excellent OP, but this

Honj Steak posted:

There is no reason to hate Augsburg.
is correct.

MuLepton fucked around with this message at Jul 20, 2014 around 18:19

dex_sda
Oct 11, 2012
shitpost time

I like Neuer, and would like to follow his exploits. But the thought of cheering for Bayern makes my blood boil. What should I do?

Honj Steak
May 31, 2013

Hi there.


dex_sda posted:

I like Neuer, and would like to follow his exploits. But the thought of cheering for Bayern makes my blood boil. What should I do?

Watch Bayern matches but don't cheer for them.

Myron
Jul 13, 2009



mods?! change the title to "Fussek (Fuppes)" please, thanks.
Nice OP

dex_sda
Oct 11, 2012
shitpost time

Honj Steak posted:

Watch Bayern matches but don't cheer for them.

But I gotta cheer for Neuer which is cheering for Bayern by proxy

I mean I could hope that every match ends 0-0 and get the best of both worlds. By which I mean the worst possible world.

frankenfreak
Feb 16, 2007

Coming from the deeps of the Frankenwald to haunt you

elbkaida posted:

Nice! I always thought Hannover had a big rivalry with Braunschweig, or is that just onesided?

Dunban posted:

The name of Hannover's manager is Tayfun Korkut, by the way.

Oh, and I guess Stuttgarts biggest rivals are Karlsruhe.

Where were you guys when I asked for comments on the draft? Edited that in. Thanks!

And for those that insist that there is no reason to hate Augsburg, I edited that line to reflect that I had to think long and hard to find even a weak reason (I didn't want to leave any single one blank).

advanced statsman
Dec 26, 2012

ISLAM FC


dex_sda posted:

But I gotta cheer for Neuer which is cheering for Bayern by proxy

I mean I could hope that every match ends 0-0 and get the best of both worlds. By which I mean the worst possible world.

You can like players from different teams and you don't have to cheer for their teams. Just enjoy watching football man

Lazlow
Nov 30, 2004



Top, top op, op

Lord of Garbagemen
Jan 27, 2014

Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!

Just curious, anyone purchased the 4 star MNT jersey yet? Ordered mine the day DE won and just seeing if they are sending them out all at once?

nippythefish
Nov 20, 2007


Went to 1.FCN gegen Valencia last Saturday...holy poo poo, Nürnberg is amazing now. I don't think I've ever seen that kind of ball movement and ability on offense before with this team.

We'll be back in 1.Bundesliga at the conclusion of this season, mark my words.

frankenfreak
Feb 16, 2007

Coming from the deeps of the Frankenwald to haunt you

nippythefish posted:

Went to 1.FCN gegen Valencia last Saturday...holy poo poo, Nürnberg is amazing now. I don't think I've ever seen that kind of ball movement and ability on offense before with this team.

We'll be back in 1.Bundesliga at the conclusion of this season, mark my words.

Katana Gomai
Jan 14, 2007

"Thus," concluded Miyamoto, "you must give up everything you have to be my disciple."


This gives me an idea. How about some es for this season?

Honj Steak
May 31, 2013

Hi there.


Katana Gomai posted:

This gives me an idea. How about some es for this season?



Ban me if Augsburg gets relegated.

hopterque
Mar 9, 2007

IM NOT A HORSES ASS.... IM A HORSES VAGINA!


Ban everyone if HSV doesn't get relegated IMO.

Healbot
Jul 7, 2006

very very very fucjable
very vywr very

hopterque posted:

Ban everyone if HSV doesn't get relegated IMO.

I find that to be too risky for my tastes.

Smirr
Jun 28, 2012



Probate me for 6 hours if Bayern don't win the Schale.

Katana Gomai
Jan 14, 2007

"Thus," concluded Miyamoto, "you must give up everything you have to be my disciple."


Those are some bitchass es everyone, step it up.

Probate me for a week if Köln beats Leverkusen in any game this season.

Probate me for two weeks if they beat us twice.

Probate me for a month if they finish the season ahead of us.

Healbot
Jul 7, 2006

very very very fucjable
very vywr very

Probate me for eleven years for a week if Bayern don't win the league (you read that right).

surrender
Aug 31, 2001
tryin to catch me ridin dirty


I went to a Hertha Berlin match a few years ago and watched Andriy Voronin score a goal with his sexy chest so I guess I'm a Hertha plastic

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Smirr
Jun 28, 2012



surrender posted:

I went to a Hertha Berlin match a few years ago and watched Andriy Voronin score a goal with his sexy chest so I guess I'm a Hertha plastic

It was really cool and funny when Hertha were trying to buy him after his loan was up and Liverpool were like "nah we really need this hunk to sit on our bench"

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