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Mash
Jul 15, 2009


You are JEFF.




It is a summer afternoon. You have just woken up.



You are sitting on the COUCH when you are struck by the memory of every lost love, every wasted opportunity, every fading memory of each intangible moment. You are stricken by ennui.



You are holding a WARM BEER. There is a LAPTOP next to you. What do you do?

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SCROTEBUSTIN
Sep 2, 2008
THIS CUSTOM TITLE IS WORTH MORE THAN THE CHUNK OF TEXAS I BLEW $2500 ON WHILE DRUNK

scream
look out window

unlimited shrimp
Aug 30, 2008



> plug laptop into wall
> place hand on keyboard
> begin pouring beer over hand and keyboard
> pray for death

Red Suit
Sep 6, 2012


>go back to bed

Tonsured
Jan 13, 2005

I came across mention of a Gnostic codex called The Unreal God and the Aspects of His Nonexistent Universe, an idea which reduced me to helpless laughter. What kind of person would write about something that he knows doesn't exist, and how can something that doesn't exist have aspects?

place socks on hands and talk out the bad feelings

Dubsy
Jul 17, 2014



>redtube

THE FUCKING MOON
Jan 19, 2008

******************!!!!!

>Check browser history

Dongattack
Dec 20, 2006



>fart












>smell fart

Demon of the East
Dec 24, 2012



THE loving MOON posted:

>Check browser history

Whirlwind Jones
Apr 13, 2013



kill you're family

Corey Plumper
Nov 22, 2008



This is too realistic for me

Fagmaster
Aug 21, 2004



go to circus because thats the place clowns like you belong

Saalkin
Jun 29, 2008

GREAT RACK


remove clothing
check the mailbox

Hector Beerlioz
Jun 16, 2010


Drink the beer.

ASSASSINS!
Jan 2, 2009


break the beer bottle and jam the shards into your jugular

Dubsy
Jul 17, 2014



Whirlwind Jones posted:

kill you're family

vyst
Aug 25, 2009

Soft Hil- nope, not doing this rhyme.

~SMcD

>pull out Avatar themed fleshlight

naem
May 29, 2011



gently caress the COUCH

Big Beef City
Aug 15, 2013

You have failed me for the last time, Colonel Pickering.


Dubsy posted:

>redtube

Mash
Jul 15, 2009


SCROTEBUSTIN posted:

scream
look out window


The images outside taunt you. Happy children, playing without a care. A dog catches a frisbee.



"loving normals!" you shout at your window. No one noticed. That's it.

unlimited shrimp posted:

> plug laptop into wall
> place hand on keyboard
> begin pouring beer over hand and keyboard
> pray for death

You plug the LAPTOP into a socket unknown and place your hand upon it. The WARM BEER in your other hand calls out to you. "Do it, you loving pussy. I dare you."





*bloop*



Nothing happens. You must've drank more than you thought, and you aren't even disappointed. You expected this.



THE loving MOON posted:

>Check browser history

With another failed suicide attempt under your belt, you decide check your browser history.

Demon of the East
Dec 24, 2012



OP, if you needed help, all you had to do was ask.

Skeleton King
Feb 19, 2011

I'll take another

type 'bendyman' into search bar

Ron Paul Hype Man
Jun 18, 2007

It's a revolution
Brothers and sisters
There ain't a fight
And it doesn't mean
A god damn thing


Make e/n thread.

Demon of the East
Dec 24, 2012



Scratch rear end

then

Ron Paul Hype Man posted:

Make e/n thread.

THE FUCKING MOON
Jan 19, 2008

******************!!!!!

>get MAD. Get ANGRY

Dongattack
Dec 20, 2006



>fart











>smell fart

SCROTEBUSTIN
Sep 2, 2008
THIS CUSTOM TITLE IS WORTH MORE THAN THE CHUNK OF TEXAS I BLEW $2500 ON WHILE DRUNK

post in E/N
e: oh no, beaten by several minutes

Mash
Jul 15, 2009


Skeleton King posted:

type 'bendyman' into search bar



Your search results only seem to bring up childrens toys, which you have grown out of. You decide to go to the only place that can help you.

Demon of the East posted:

Scratch rear end




Ahh, that's better. Now, back to the internet.



Mash fucked around with this message at Jul 27, 2014 around 18:55

Beef Turret
Jul 9, 2009



self-diagnose with aspergers or similar using an online test so you can justify all the anti-social choices you've made in life

A misanthrope
Jun 21, 2010

CAT DRUGS


see what's in the fridge to eat

go pee outside and glare at the kids and get arrested for public indecency

Police Automaton
Mar 17, 2009


poo poo on the floor then roll in the poo poo then break a bottle and eat the shards

Jeffrey
Dec 22, 2005




post an intro thread in fyad

Cesar Cedeno
May 9, 2011
Probation
Can't post for 4106 days!


Man, this "JEFF QUEST" hits a little to close to home.

I'm gonna go crack a beer and jack off and try to forget about this....

A misanthrope
Jun 21, 2010

CAT DRUGS


threaten the president and make the secret service visit lowtax again

then send lowtax a crazy email when he bans you

nisroc
Feb 20, 2011


invade Poland.

Cesar Cedeno
May 9, 2011
Probation
Can't post for 4106 days!


nisroc posted:

invade Poland.

Putin Quest comes out next month.

Demon of the East
Dec 24, 2012



Respond to all response in the e/n thread with confusion and indignation. Then cry and jack off on your front lawn.

Robo Reagan
Feb 12, 2012
Probation
Can't post for 3 days!


take a big frothy beer poop

nisroc
Feb 20, 2011


Cesar Cedeno posted:

Putin Quest comes out next month.

gently caress me for wanting the character to feel better, right?

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Waltzing Along
Jun 14, 2008

May your eyes be opened by the wonderful


http://forums.somethingawful.com/sh...mber=1#lastpost

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