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somethingawful bf
Jun 17, 2005
the real answer is most people are selfish and have no foreskin

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somethingawful bf
Jun 17, 2005
foresight

EugeneJ
Feb 5, 2012

by FactsAreUseless

limeincoke posted:

When I was in the Army, stationed in DC, I could only name 2 people that were faithful to their wives/girlfriends. And those 2 might have just been good at hiding it. Especially when you live in the city it's really, really easy to go out to the bars and cheat on your wife with a practically 0 percent chance of her ever finding out.

Army wives probably don't care since half the fun of being an army wife is slutting it up while their men are on tour.

let it mellow
Jun 1, 2000

Dinosaur Gum

mookface posted:

Thats awesome man continue banging the poo poo out of your lovely wife have you ever hosed anyone else?

yes but I was young we were both in college in 96 when we met, it did take 6 years before I proposed though

and idgaf if you're being sarcastic but she's still hot and we have good times, so it's all good

EugeneJ
Feb 5, 2012

by FactsAreUseless

jackyl posted:

yes but I was young we were both in college in 96 when we met, it did take 6 years before I proposed though

and idgaf if you're being sarcastic but she's still hot and we have good times, so it's all good

You could get divorced and gently caress other women.

What are you doing.

BONE DOG
Jun 7, 2009

by Fluffdaddy

jackyl posted:

yes but I was young we were both in college in 96 when we met, it did take 6 years before I proposed though

and idgaf if you're being sarcastic but she's still hot and we have good times, so it's all good

i was straight up being real with you bro grow old together

Whirlwind Jones
Apr 13, 2013

by Lowtax

EugeneJ posted:

You could get divorced and gently caress other women.

What are you doing.
He doesn't even have to get divorced...

let it mellow
Jun 1, 2000

Dinosaur Gum

mookface posted:

i was straight up being real with you bro grow old together

that's p much a guarantee at this point and I'm good with it, I think she is too

EugeneJ
Feb 5, 2012

by FactsAreUseless

jackyl posted:

that's p much a guarantee at this point and I'm good with it, I think she is too

You "think" - why are you uncertain

Whirlwind Jones
Apr 13, 2013

by Lowtax

jackyl posted:

that's p much a guarantee at this point and I'm good with it, I think she is too
She's loving other dudes on the side because you're boring to her and she wants to feel that fresh exciting feeling again.

gagelion
Jun 13, 2013

by XyloJW
Not sure what it is about it. I am 6'4", have a big dick and know how to gently caress. I could get single chicks all day long, it's almost too easy. I find that it is so hot to gently caress a girl that has a guy back home waiting for them. Not sure what it is but it really gets me off. There is a challenge to it, I can't just lift up my shirt and show off my sexy as gently caress abs and get them in bed unlike all the single chicks I used to bang.

AMA

let it mellow
Jun 1, 2000

Dinosaur Gum

EugeneJ posted:

You "think" - why are you uncertain

Wow idk I guess I'm cucked :(

Trixie Hardcore
Jul 1, 2006

Placeholder.
I've known a fair number of men who cheat on their wives and they (mostly) seem like nice people on the surface but have an immature sense of entitlement that they pair with an ability to convince themselves of their own bullshit so they can feel entitled to cheat, while also entitled to not get cheated on, feel like they are powerless to stop themselves and are deep and darkly tortured because of their uncontrollable carnal desires. The amount of times I have heard "My wife doesn't understand me!" or "I just can't talk to my wife like this" while they are sharing the most mundane bullshit imaginable is staggering. Special snowflakes can't keep their dicks exclusive. A monogamous pair bond is the most intimate human relationship there is and if a person can't be honest in the most intimate relationship in their life then I don't know why they even bother having relationships.

BONE DOG
Jun 7, 2009

by Fluffdaddy

Trixie Hardcore posted:

I've known a fair number of men who cheat on their wives and they (mostly) seem like nice people on the surface but have an immature sense of entitlement that they pair with an ability to convince themselves of their own bullshit so they can feel entitled to cheat, while also entitled to not get cheated on, feel like they are powerless to stop themselves and are deep and darkly tortured because of their uncontrollable carnal desires. The amount of times I have heard "My wife doesn't understand me!" or "I just can't talk to my wife like this" while they are sharing the most mundane bullshit imaginable is staggering. Special snowflakes can't keep their dicks exclusive. A monogamous pair bond is the most intimate human relationship there is and if a person can't be honest in the most intimate relationship in their life then I don't know why they even bother having relationships.
How many of these married men have you been a gently caress and a confidant for

Whirlwind Jones
Apr 13, 2013

by Lowtax

Trixie Hardcore posted:

I've known a fair number of men who cheat on their wives and they (mostly) seem like nice people on the surface but have an immature sense of entitlement that they pair with an ability to convince themselves of their own bullshit so they can feel entitled to cheat, while also entitled to not get cheated on, feel like they are powerless to stop themselves and are deep and darkly tortured because of their uncontrollable carnal desires. The amount of times I have heard "My wife doesn't understand me!" or "I just can't talk to my wife like this" while they are sharing the most mundane bullshit imaginable is staggering. Special snowflakes can't keep their dicks exclusive. A monogamous pair bond is the most intimate human relationship there is and if a person can't be honest in the most intimate relationship in their life then I don't know why they even bother having relationships.
Your dad touched you when you were a child and as a result you're sexually hosed up and no one should ever listen to what you have to say on the topic.

Trixie Hardcore
Jul 1, 2006

Placeholder.

mookface posted:

How many of these married men have you been a gently caress and a confidant for

Are you asking for 1) a percentage of the cheating men I have known or 2) raw data? 1) Most% and 2) Honestly have lost count, maybe 100 give or take a dozen? People are very similar & tend to bleed together in your memory after awhile.

Whirlwind Jones posted:

Your dad touched you when you were a child and as a result you're sexually hosed up and no one should ever listen to what you have to say on the topic.

Haha, shows what you know, I never knew my father, that's why I'm sexually hosed up.

EugeneJ
Feb 5, 2012

by FactsAreUseless

Trixie Hardcore posted:

I don't know why they even bother having relationships.

Religion, familial pressure, societal pressure

TL:DR: Monogamy is unnatural and doesn't work

TEAYCHES
Jun 23, 2002

one time me and my bf cheated on eachother. not a good time imo

Whirlwind Jones
Apr 13, 2013

by Lowtax

Trixie Hardcore posted:

Haha, shows what you know, I never knew my father, that's why I'm sexually hosed up.
gently caress I need to study my forums history more.

Your father was the really hot guy with cool hair.

let it mellow
Jun 1, 2000

Dinosaur Gum
really the best cheating thing was the jihad thread which had nothing to do with spouses

Whirlwind Jones
Apr 13, 2013

by Lowtax

THS posted:

one time me and my bf cheated on eachother. not a good time imo
Was he super hot though?

EugeneJ
Feb 5, 2012

by FactsAreUseless

THS posted:

one time me and my bf cheated on eachother. not a good time imo

Do you like pina colladas

BONE DOG
Jun 7, 2009

by Fluffdaddy

Trixie Hardcore posted:

Are you asking for 1) a percentage of the cheating men I have known or 2) raw data? 1) Most% and 2) Honestly have lost count, maybe 100 give or take a dozen? People are very similar & tend to bleed together in your memory after awhile.


Haha, shows what you know, I never knew my father, that's why I'm sexually hosed up.
You have sex with a lot of people but there are no illusions there so I respect you

TEAYCHES
Jun 23, 2002

jackyl posted:

really the best cheating thing was the jihad thread which had nothing to do with spouses

and they got back together which is hosed. feel pretty bad for james

Trixie Hardcore
Jul 1, 2006

Placeholder.

Whirlwind Jones posted:

gently caress I need to study my forums history more.

Your father was the really hot guy with cool hair.

Yeah but I only have a picture of him, I never got to spend any time with him.

mookface posted:

You have sex with a lot of people but there are no illusions there so I respect you

Thanks. I've been in a monogamous relationship for the past 7 years so I've only hosed one person in that whole time.

Kleen_TheRacistDog
Feb 17, 2014

Can't bust the Krust fuckman
www.skullmund.com

Trixie Hardcore posted:

Are you asking for 1) a percentage of the cheating men I have known or 2) raw data? 1) Most% and 2) Honestly have lost count, maybe 100 give or take a dozen? People are very similar & tend to bleed together in your memory after awhile.


Haha, shows what you know, I never knew my father, that's why I'm sexually hosed up.
if you're still escorting, could you pm me your contact deets please? i think it would be a positive experience for me, as i am attracted to your posting style. thanks in advance.

----------------
This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

let it mellow
Jun 1, 2000

Dinosaur Gum

Trixie Hardcore posted:

Yeah but I only have a picture of him, I never got to spend any time with him.

omg are you roger waters?

TEAYCHES
Jun 23, 2002

all hot goons, i am currenty single. please pm me if you are into it.. thanks...

BONE DOG
Jun 7, 2009

by Fluffdaddy

Kleen_TheRowdyDog posted:

if you're still escorting, could you pm me your contact deets please? i think it would be a positive experience for me, as i am attracted to your posting style. thanks in advance.

You won't even need to follow your MO and feed her drinks until she's yours

let it mellow
Jun 1, 2000

Dinosaur Gum

THS posted:

and they got back together which is hosed. feel pretty bad for james

which one was James?

Trixie Hardcore
Jul 1, 2006

Placeholder.

Kleen_TheRowdyDog posted:

if you're still escorting, could you pm me your contact deets please? i think it would be a positive experience for me, as i am attracted to your posting style. thanks in advance.

I'm very sorry, I would if I were. Would give you a forums discount & would post a goon trip report afterwards about your dick.

Whirlwind Jones
Apr 13, 2013

by Lowtax

THS posted:

all hot goons, i am currenty single. please pm me if you are into it.. thanks...

post your pic

Whirlwind Jones
Apr 13, 2013

by Lowtax

Trixie Hardcore posted:

I'm very sorry, I would if I were. Would give you a forums discount & would post a goon trip report afterwards about your dick.
lol

BONE DOG
Jun 7, 2009

by Fluffdaddy

Trixie Hardcore posted:

I'm very sorry, I would if I were. Would give you a forums discount & would post a goon trip report afterwards about your dick.

We also want to know if he cries after

TEAYCHES
Jun 23, 2002

jackyl posted:

which one was James?

biff, the 20 yr old mostly innocent party roped into a world of meth and videogames


pic always in profile babe

Smoking Crow
Feb 14, 2012

*laughs at u*

EugeneJ posted:

TL:DR: Monogamy is unnatural

neither is farming but everyone likes that

Whirlwind Jones
Apr 13, 2013

by Lowtax

THS posted:

biff, the 20 yr old mostly innocent party roped into a world of meth and videogames


pics always in profile babe
you're only 4 hours from me. hmm....

let it mellow
Jun 1, 2000

Dinosaur Gum

THS posted:

biff, the 20 yr old mostly innocent party roped into a world of meth and videogames


pics always in profile babe

oh yeah that was the one who made the thread good, gj biff

EugeneJ
Feb 5, 2012

by FactsAreUseless

Smoking Crow posted:

neither is farming but everyone likes that

DateVille

Oh god, if OKCupid made an app with fake women giving chatbot responses, people would buy that poo poo wouldn't they

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Kleen_TheRacistDog
Feb 17, 2014

Can't bust the Krust fuckman
www.skullmund.com

Trixie Hardcore posted:

I'm very sorry, I would if I were. Would give you a forums discount & would post a goon trip report afterwards about your dick.
follow-up request: could you give me a "reference" with another local escort? as i'm sure you know, it's really hard for a john to get his foot in the door if he has never seen an escort before, unless he wants to date one of the inexpensive ones to be able to get that reference tip. but, i'm looking more along the lines off the 400-600 dollar/hour variety, so i need someone to vouch for me. so could i give them your contact info and you could vouch for me? goon solidarity, you know.

----------------
This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

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