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bring back old gbs
Feb 28, 2007

by LITERALLY AN ADMIN
wheel of justice

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ghlbtsk
Apr 19, 2005

these bath mats
are
GORGEOUS
Because the accused only allegedly stabbed the defendant 80 times, then jumped up and down on his corpse screaming "I DID IT AND I'D DO IT AGAIN!" in front of nearly a thousand people -- many of whom recorded the whole thing on their cell phones.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'd like to call Defense Witness #637 to the stand.

whoflungpoop
Sep 9, 2004

With you and the constellations

dontcareaboutname posted:

you should change your name to megatron

DeepQantas
Jan 13, 2008

Ah, to be a Hero... Keeping such company...

The Fuzzy Hulk posted:

Dear GBS, why isn't Judge Dredd real?
Unions.

If it weren't for them, we could get rid of the bad cops and have officers that can be trusted with the responsibility.

Dolphin
Dec 5, 2008

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
what does it mean to say 'she got off on a technicality'

because it sounds pretty hot

jBrereton
May 30, 2013
Grimey Drawer

The Fuzzy Hulk posted:

Dear GBS, why isn't Judge Dredd real?
Opposition to human genetic engineering.

Fiend
Dec 2, 2001
Red heads weren't supposed to be included in the definition of human beings in the constitution or the Declaration of Independence.

Google it.

nomadologique
Mar 9, 2011

DUNK A DILL PICKLE REALDO
there is a legal precedent differentiated being "caught red-handed" and being "caught balls-deep." jury trial is still required for the former but not for the latter. do your research op.

Cyks
Mar 17, 2008

The trenches of IT can scar a muppet for life
A cop sees you shoot somebody and throws you in jail for first degree murder. What he doesn't know is the guy was robbing you by pretending to have a gun under his article of clothing.

Not abuse - the officer didn't know. In the trial it comes up that the person was wanted for doing similar robberies in the past, which gives reason to believe he was doing it again, enough for a reduced sentence/ acquitted.

Inexplicable Humblebrag
Sep 20, 2003

dontcareaboutname posted:

you should change your name to megatron

wasn't that the name of that raped chicken

1gnoirents
Jun 28, 2014

hello :)
are you an idiot or something

thats why you arent in charge of making the constitution

School Nickname
Apr 23, 2010

*fffffff-fffaaaaaaarrrtt*
:ussr:
op you're so lucky that you have a functioning legal system

sure you get juries that are made up of random yokels who sometimes give verdicts of not-guilty to obviously guilty white folks, but w/e.

here in Ireland we have tribunals whose job it is to make things looks like a trial, pay lawyers shitloads of money and in the end, make a "finding of fact" that is essentially an opinion, sterile of legal meaning and inadmissible in court.

if you even get to a trial a judge can pretty much instruct a jury to deliver a particular verdict. if the jury catches a judge dozing off and decides to be a bit cheeky, the judge will literally lose his poo poo and hand out community service/suspended sentences.
then he makes the closing statement in which he protests the convict's innocence ("they were led into illegality") and calls the jury a bunch of cunts in the most polite way possible

if you're a :pedo: or :mrapig: you just get a suspended sentence (you have to pay weregild as well if you're unlucky), if the judge thinks you look ugly/poor he'll gently caress you

if there's a moral panic don't even expect a jury

School Nickname fucked around with this message at 16:34 on Jul 23, 2014

School Nickname
Apr 23, 2010

*fffffff-fffaaaaaaarrrtt*
:ussr:
now I have to say that everything I said in my previous post on this comedy website was incorrect because otherwise I would literally be sued successfully for hurting a rich old white man's feelings

Tweet Me Balls
Apr 14, 2009

lock up everybody, because we all have blood on our hands for being complicit in the murderous act of capitalism

VendaGoat
Nov 1, 2005
Sue You'reself

Box of Trial
Sep 4, 2003

TONKA HYAH
no trial for this thread or its op. gas, ban

breadshaped
Apr 1, 2010


Soiled Meat

Cyks posted:

A cop sees you shoot somebody and throws you in jail for first degree murder. What he doesn't know is the guy was robbing you by pretending to have a gun under his article of clothing.

Not abuse - the officer didn't know. In the trial it comes up that the person was wanted for doing similar robberies in the past, which gives reason to believe he was doing it again, enough for a reduced sentence/ acquitted.

This used to happen all the time in communist Russia. Basically there was a story of a cop who saw a guy shooting another guy dead. So he figured he's guilty and threw him into jail for 10 years. Then one day the cop saw the man who was supposedly dead walking around normally and he ran over to him shouting "I thought you were dead! There's a man in jail for your murder!"

Anyway, it turned out that the gun he used to 'kill' him was in fact a toy gun that shot out a little flag that said "bang" on it and the 'dead' guy had just slipped on a banana peel.

The imprisoned man had killed himself after 7 years and this really goes to shot the benefits of due process and Albert Einstein.

Robo Reagan
Feb 12, 2012

by Fluffdaddy

Bedshaped posted:

This used to happen all the time in communist Russia. Basically there was a story of a cop who saw a guy shooting another guy dead. So he figured he's guilty and threw him into jail for 10 years. Then one day the cop saw the man who was supposedly dead walking around normally and he ran over to him shouting "I thought you were dead! There's a man in jail for your murder!"

Anyway, it turned out that the gun he used to 'kill' him was in fact a toy gun that shot out a little flag that said "bang" on it and the 'dead' guy had just slipped on a banana peel.

The imprisoned man had killed himself after 7 years and this really goes to shot the benefits of due process and Albert Einstein.

well thank god we don't live in communist russia, where going to actual real jail was probably a better alternative to being sent to a loving Siberian labor camp

Disco Pope
Dec 6, 2004

Top Class!

Meg From Family Guy posted:

Imagine you catch someone balls deep in a child (and you're a cop) what's the harm in just tossing that person in jail

I mean like forget any possible abuses of it or anything, just that kind of situation.

Dunno, maybe you should watch Dredd sometime and bask in the reflection of the nightmare future you want so badly?

Drunk Nerds
Jan 25, 2011

Just close your eyes
Fun Shoe
Because cops can and do lie.
That was easy. Lock thread, next question.

Stoic Commie
Aug 29, 2005

by XyloJW
alex trebuk gonna go down you

reignonyourparade
Nov 15, 2012

Buce posted:

so, imagine you're a cop and have a sense of morality,

I don't understand

tiananman
Feb 6, 2005
Non-Headkins Splatoma
Because people lie or are mistaken about what they witness, and in a civilized criminal justice system (ok, so not ours) people are presumed innocent because sometimes even when someone is "caught" red-handed the person who caught them is retarded and didn't actually catch them doing anything. So you have to prove beyond a reasonable doubt that the poo poo happened. Just trusting one or two people who think they saw it happen is dumb when it happens in a real live case, but it would be even dumber to just be able to lock people up on any old persons's say so.

For instance, I would be dropping dimes on all of my enemies. "Yeah, officer? this b-hole totally raped some people. Lock him up forever, thanks."

Starving Autist
Oct 20, 2007

by Ralp

Meg From Family Guy posted:

I already said don't count cases of abuse. Please read the topic in full next time before pressing the reply button.

well, if we aren't allowed to point out the glaring flaw in your plan, then yes it is perfect and i can't possibly conceive of why we don't do it

chaosbreather
Dec 9, 2001

Wry and wise,
but also very sexual.

Bedshaped posted:

Anyway, it turned out that the gun he used to 'kill' him was in fact a toy gun that shot out a little flag that said "bang" on it and the 'dead' guy had just slipped on a banana peel.

Nope. Banana peels, being rubbery and dry, have higher grip than hardwood or many other flooring surfaces. No-one has ever slipped on a banana peel that wasn't already lubricated somehow for deliberate comedic effect. Stop making up stories to make commies look bad you commiephobe.

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Sierra Nevadan
Nov 1, 2010

Haven't you seen Jury Duty starring Pauly Shore?

It's to allow crazy hijinks to happen.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A39yUsdlzKk

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