Register a SA Forums Account here!
JOINING THE SA FORUMS WILL REMOVE THIS BIG AD, THE ANNOYING UNDERLINED ADS, AND STUPID INTERSTITIAL ADS!!!

You can: log in, read the tech support FAQ, or request your lost password. This dumb message (and those ads) will appear on every screen until you register! Get rid of this crap by registering your own SA Forums Account and joining roughly 150,000 Goons, for the one-time price of $9.95! We charge money because it costs us money per month for bills, and since we don't believe in showing ads to our users, we try to make the money back through forum registrations.
Who is the greatest?
Van Damme
Seagal
Gotenks SSJ4
Sho'nuff
View Results
 
  • Locked thread
FogHelmut
Dec 18, 2003

Basic facts really, and you can't argue with facts.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GrlUWh2ZlHo&t=74s


More facts if the video is not proof enough:

- He started lifting weights to improve his physique, which eventually led to a Mr. Belgium bodybuilding title.
- From 1976-1980, Van Damme compiled a record of 44 victories and 4 defeats in tournament and non-tournament semi-contact matches.
- From 1977 to 1982, Van Damme compiled a record of 18 victories (18 knockouts) and 1 defeat. (kickboxing)
- The original video game Mortal Kombat was conceived as a fighting game based on Van Damme.
- By the mid-1990s, the stress of the constant filming and promotion of his films, as Van Damme explains, led him to develop a cocaine habit, on which he spent up to $10,000 a week, and consuming up to 10 grams per day by 1996.
- Van Damme has been married five times to four different women.

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

TOILETLORD
Nov 13, 2012

by XyloJW
wait wait are you saying he was married twenty times? That'd be kinda awesome like changing wives for every season of the year.

Tin Tim
Jun 4, 2012

Live by the pun - Die by the pun

Van Damme is cool and if you look up stuff about Seagal you'll find that he's crazy weird and lied about lots of things that supposedly made him cool

Here are two articles about Seagal's poo poo

http://theflyingguillotine.wordpress.com/2011/08/17/the-ridiculousness-of-steven-seagal-part-1/

http://theflyingguillotine.wordpress.com/2011/08/17/ridicuousness-seagal-part-2/

Also Van Damme challenged him to a fight once and he pussied out

Sylvester Stallone posted:

But I remember once, at my home in Miami, I believe it was in ’96 or’97, Van Damme was there with Seagal, Willis, Schwarzenegger, Shaquille O’Neal, Don Johnson and Madonna… it was a heck of a party. Van Damme was tired of Seagal saying he could kick his rear end and went right up to him and offered him the chance to step outside so he could wipe the floor with him, or should I say wipe the backyard with him. Seagal made some excuse and left. His destination was some Ocean Drive nightclub in Miami. Van Damme, who was completely berserk, tracked him down and again offered him a fight, and again Seagal pulled a Houdini. Who would win? I have to say I believe Van Damme was just too strong and Seagal wanted no part of it. That’s just my opinion.
I rest my case

Tin Tim fucked around with this message at 15:54 on Jul 24, 2014

LifeSizePotato
Mar 3, 2005

too bad about the whole being 5'6 thing

Flesh Forge
Jan 31, 2011

LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT MY DOG
controversial opinion there OP!!

Jerry Mumphrey
Mar 11, 2004

by zen death robot

(and can't post for 4 years!)



personally I prefer Jean Clown Van Damme

Guancho
Aug 23, 2010

You don't write any postcards when you're on the road to self-discovery
dolph lundgren is the best of the best

Infidel Castro
Jun 8, 2010

Again and again
Your face reminds me of a bleak future
Despite the absence of hope
I give you this sacrifice




https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B4hYHmsExms

Hector Beerlioz
Jun 16, 2010

aw, hec
Voted Van Damme because Sudden Death is a good movie.

BONE DOG
Jun 7, 2009

by Fluffdaddy
Van damme is an rear end in a top hat I've encountered him a couple times and he's a little manlet bitch

Theophany
Jul 22, 2014

SUCCHIAMI IL MIO CAZZO DA DIETRO, RANA RAGAZZO



2022 FIA Formula 1 WDC
Van Damme is a mulleted human being who doesn't even traffic women and advertises lovely light (wtf?) beer.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WyZtRO7cXgs

Any action film star who doesn't pull off the du rag look is basically a poser. Flawless victory Seagal.

FogHelmut
Dec 18, 2003

Theophany posted:

Van Damme is a mulleted human being who doesn't even traffic women and advertises lovely light (wtf?) beer.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WyZtRO7cXgs

Any action film star who doesn't pull off the du rag look is basically a poser. Flawless victory Seagal.

I think you are mistaken

Hector Beerlioz
Jun 16, 2010

aw, hec

Guancho posted:

dolph lundgren is the best of the best

In 2009 two burglars broke into Lundgren's home and tied up his wife who was there alone. One saw a family photo, recognized who her husband was, after which they both fled.

He is also a member of mensa, I believe.

Fagmaster
Aug 21, 2004

thats a one drat lie

Guancho
Aug 23, 2010

You don't write any postcards when you're on the road to self-discovery

Lil Swamp Booger Baby
Aug 1, 1981

mookface posted:

Van damme is an rear end in a top hat I've encountered him a couple times and he's a little manlet bitch

Look at this fool who got owned by JCVD in public.

Oldstench
Jun 29, 2007

Let's talk about where you're going.
having diarrhea is better than constant vomiting

SPACE HOMOS
Jan 12, 2005

Bleusilences
Jun 23, 2004

Be careful for what you wish for.

Steven is a lovely actor who star in poo poo movie. It doesn't take much to beat him.

BONE DOG
Jun 7, 2009

by Fluffdaddy

JebanyPedal posted:

Look at this fool who got owned by JCVD in public.

Actually he got owned in this tale. the gym in his condo was out of commission or something so he went to the golds I used to go to. I guess he likes to get warmed up on the bike but out of the six or so they had there a couple of them were being used and that just can't happen so he complained to the attendant that he wanted those people removed. He said that he couldn't do that and that they were paying customers so van damme pulled the 'don't you know who I am' card but the guy didn't give a gently caress at all. He stormed out in a petulant fit of rage.


Owned

Lil Swamp Booger Baby
Aug 1, 1981

That gym got owned because they didn't get to experience the honor of JCVD training in it that day, and you got owned because you didn't get to see him sweat in front of you.

Cyber Dog
Feb 22, 2008

mookface posted:

Actually he got owned in this tale. the gym in his condo was out of commission or something so he went to the golds I used to go to. I guess he likes to get warmed up on the bike but out of the six or so they had there a couple of them were being used and that just can't happen so he complained to the attendant that he wanted those people removed. He said that he couldn't do that and that they were paying customers so van damme pulled the 'don't you know who I am' card but the guy didn't give a gently caress at all. He stormed out in a petulant fit of rage.


Owned

n-n-n....no. it cant be. i dotn believe it

BONE DOG
Jun 7, 2009

by Fluffdaddy

JebanyPedal posted:

That gym got owned because they didn't get to experience the honor of JCVD training in it that day, and you got owned because you didn't get to see him sweat in front of you.

I did get to hear him whine like a little bitch though also he is very short

Lil Swamp Booger Baby
Aug 1, 1981

mookface posted:

I did get to hear him whine like a little bitch though also he is very short

No you didn't, you got to hear him proudly and unflinchingly vacate the area when his needs were not met. You did not help him, so you should be ashamed of yourself, you need to respect your betters.

BONE DOG
Jun 7, 2009

by Fluffdaddy

JebanyPedal posted:

No you didn't, you got to hear him proudly and unflinchingly vacate the area when his needs were not met. You did not help him, so you should be ashamed of yourself, you need to respect your betters.

I also had to do some work on his penthouse and there were little paper flaps and empty champagne bottles strewn about everywhere

Lil Swamp Booger Baby
Aug 1, 1981

mookface posted:

I also had to do some work on his penthouse and there were little paper flaps and empty champagne bottles strewn about everywhere

Sounds like he was having a good time.

BONE DOG
Jun 7, 2009

by Fluffdaddy

JebanyPedal posted:

Sounds like he was having a good time.

Yeah he lives a pretty awesome lifestyle :(

Lil Swamp Booger Baby
Aug 1, 1981

Honestly he prob should have been less of a dick about the bikes.

Vastarien
Dec 20, 2012

Where I live is nightmare, thus a certain nonchalance.



Buglord
Jean-Claude Van Damme was clearly the superior Predator.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A1GfUoB0kog

CaptainQuirk
May 9, 2009
He banged Kylie Minogue while filming Street Fighter movie

quote:

For 1994's abysmal videogame adaptation Street Fighter, he was paid $7m. The film was critically pounded, but it did good business – and he got to have a fling with co-star Kylie Minogue.

He bristles when I bring it up. "Oh ... who said that to you?" he asks, clearly forgetting the interview a few years back in which he brought it up himself. "I tell you what, you should ask her," he says, shirking it. "She'll have a better memory. I'm 51 years old, do you know how much I was punched in the face on The Expendables? No, no. No. And let's just say it happened, so what? Who wants to know?"

I tell him I just want to verify before printing. "Sometimes you let go of stuff ... I don't know, maybe." He sighs, then becomes reflective. It's rather touching. "Yes. OK. Yes, yes, yes. It happened. I was in Thailand, we had an affair. Sweet kiss, beautiful lovemaking. It would be abnormal not to have had an affair, she's so beautiful and she was there in front of me every day with a beautiful smile, simpatico, so charming, she wasn't acting like a big star. I knew Thailand very well, so I showed her my Thailand. She's a great lady."

SPACE HOMOS
Jan 12, 2005

"I showed her my thailand."

Demonachizer
Aug 7, 2004
http://www.cagepotato.com/awesome-story-of-the-day-steven-seagal-attacked-john-leguizamo-to-prove-he-was-the-alpha-male-on-a-movie-set/

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V2B9jyZTp4w


http://uproxx.com/filmdrunk/2012/03/jude-gene-lebell-confirms-choking-steven-seagal-until-seagal-pooped-himself/

Demonachizer fucked around with this message at 17:41 on Jul 24, 2014

Pennywise the Frown
May 10, 2010

Upset Trowel
My money is on Ed O'Neil. He managed to get a black belt in BJJ which is no easy task.

Fishy Joe
Apr 19, 2005
Eat at Fishy Joe's

NO DAMME

Lil Swamp Booger Baby
Aug 1, 1981


Lmao, what an insecure sack of poo poo.

CISMALES DID 9-11
Jun 5, 2002

chaotic good STEM major; INTJ
if you like JCVD you should check out some Scott Adkins movies he's basically the JCVD of now-time and was a huge JCVD fan growing up

Undisputed 2 and 3 were good flicks, as are the Ninja movies.

Dubious
Mar 7, 2006

The Heroes the Vikings Deserve
Lipstick Apathy

a whole buncha crows
May 8, 2003

WHEN WE DON'T KNOW WHO TO HATE, WE HATE OURSELVES.-SA USER NATION (AKA ME!)
Determination of dammes dizz dimensions? Any real data on this?

Robo Reagan
Feb 12, 2012

by Fluffdaddy

Bleusilences posted:

Steven is a lovely actor who star in poo poo movie. It doesn't take much to beat him.

uh oh it's on lemme call my bro Steven and set up the cage match

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

Panamaniac
Jun 18, 2007

HEROES NEVER DIE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XG5MwtC2uLM

Definitely Sho'nuff.

He's got the glow.

  • Locked thread