My schizophrenic friend invited 3 homeless guys over to sleep on my porch

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deep dish peat moss

My schizophrenic friend invited 3 homeless guys over to sleep on my porch without checking with me, to see if it would be okay, first.

# ? Jul 28, 2014 12:51

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# ? Apr 25, 2024 05:56

deep dish peat moss

Theyre all sitting indian style in a circle on my pportch talking about music.. and what it would be like to be in a band.

# ? Jul 28, 2014 12:53

deep dish peat moss

They're talking about how big their band is going to make it, so big that even Selena Gomez comes to their shows

# ? Jul 28, 2014 12:54

deep dish peat moss

One is singing opera loudly on my porch at 5am because he is practicing to go to juilliard

# ? Jul 28, 2014 13:01

pig slut lisa: irl is good

they're not homeless if they're living at ur home :rolleyes:

# ? Jul 28, 2014 13:11

A Bad King: Suppose the oil man,
He comes to town.
And you don't lay money down.

Yet Mr. King,
He killed the thread
The other day.
Well I wonder.
Who's gonna go to Hell?

I hope your squatter's rights laws in your state are pretty conservative, OP. Otherwise you now have a homeless infestation that won't go away without a court order.

# ? Jul 28, 2014 13:19

joke_explainer

Funnypost kick them out right now. Tell them they have to go, your roommate had no right to let them sleep there and is violation of the lease, and you'll call the cops if you ever see them on the property again. Never ever let a homeless person sleep on your property, anywhere, garage, whatever. They will absolutely 100% of the time abuse whatever leeway you give them -- even if it's just getting peer pressured into inviting friends over that shoot up drugs in your garage.

# ? Jul 28, 2014 15:08

Arnold of Soissons: by XyloJW

Im sorry you have to share the porch you sleep on w 3 extra ppl now AC

# ? Jul 28, 2014 15:30

Bo-Pepper: Want some rye?
Course ya do!

did the opera guy have a chance to get into juillard you think was his voice mellifluous

# ? Jul 28, 2014 15:34

dogcrash truther

Dennis Rasmussen posted:

Funnypost kick them out right now. Tell them they have to go, your roommate had no right to let them sleep there and is violation of the lease, and you'll call the cops if you ever see them on the property again. Never ever let a homeless person sleep on your property, anywhere, garage, whatever. They will absolutely 100% of the time abuse whatever leeway you give them -- even if it's just getting peer pressured into inviting friends over that shoot up drugs in your garage.

A re you loving kidding me

# ? Jul 28, 2014 15:51

dogcrash truther

"The problem with calling them 'homeless people' is, they're not people." - that guy

# ? Jul 28, 2014 15:51

Bo-Pepper: Want some rye?
Course ya do!

homeless more like soulless

# ? Jul 28, 2014 16:01

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN: I put my thumb up my bum and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth.

Wait...homeless people are people? ...jesus.

# ? Jul 28, 2014 16:03

FartGhost

I love the homeless, which is why I don't want to exterminate them by giving them homes

# ? Jul 28, 2014 16:07

FluffieDuckie

the op has a more exciting life than i do. the only creatures on my front porch are 2 baby doves seen here in a crappy picture bc the mom was giving me the evil eye

the doves make an awful mess. do your hobos make a mess?

# ? Jul 28, 2014 16:17

joke_explainer

dogcrash truther posted:

"The problem with calling them 'homeless people' is, they're not people." - that guy

I'm not unsympathetic. Just at my old place, we had a homeless guy just completely soaked in the pouring rain come up and ask if he could sleep under the awning by our garage. That seemed fine, but that piece of poo poo soon had every loving homeless guy in the city living in our empty garage. Our neighbors complained about one of the dudes trying to sell them heroin. I actually was homeless in Sacramento and I can tell you I'd have exploited anything I could to get better conditions. Just because you do them a favor doesn't mean they aren't going to treat you like poo poo or destroy your property. You're basically living the dream while being homeless is like being stuck in an incredibly boring hell. When we finally got them removed, they still came by to vandalize the place until I moved out, probably still do for whoever the hell lives there now.

Tell them to go to a shelter, or anywhere else that isn't your porch.

# ? Jul 28, 2014 16:17

Bloodfart McCoy: That's a high quality avatar right there.

Clearly, the real problem here is your friend.

# ? Jul 28, 2014 16:18

pig slut lisa: irl is good

Dennis Rasmussen posted:

I'm not unsympathetic. Just at my old place, we had a homeless guy just completely soaked in the pouring rain come up and ask if he could sleep under the awning by our garage. That seemed fine, but that piece of poo poo soon had every loving homeless guy in the city living in our empty garage. Our neighbors complained about one of the dudes trying to sell them heroin. I actually was homeless in Sacramento and I can tell you I'd have exploited anything I could to get better conditions. Just because you do them a favor doesn't mean they aren't going to treat you like poo poo or destroy your property. You're basically living the dream while being homeless is like being stuck in an incredibly boring hell. When we finally got them removed, they still came by to vandalize the place until I moved out, probably still do for whoever the hell lives there now.

Tell them to go to a shelter, or anywhere else that isn't your porch.

you should read that thread i posted about facebook last week

# ? Jul 28, 2014 18:02

i am he

I think i spotted a flaw in your logic.

# ? Jul 28, 2014 18:29

GoodbyeTurtles

kill them and wear their skin to infiltrate the homeless community

# ? Jul 28, 2014 18:36

Looke

GoodbyeTurtles posted:

kill them and wear their skin to infiltrate the homeless community

# ? Jul 28, 2014 18:38

joke_explainer

pig slut lisa posted:

you should read that thread i posted about facebook last week

I read that. I'm not saying I'm a moral saint or anything. Just homeless people will gently caress your poo poo up. They'll never leave and will take advantage of you. If you want to help the homeless go volunteer at a shelter or something, you don't want to ruin your house.

# ? Jul 28, 2014 18:41

A Bad King: Suppose the oil man,
He comes to town.
And you don't lay money down.

Yet Mr. King,
He killed the thread
The other day.
Well I wonder.
Who's gonna go to Hell?

GoodbyeTurtles posted:

kill them and wear their skin to infiltrate the homeless community

# ? Jul 28, 2014 18:46

froward: by Azathoth

Looke posted:

kill them and wear their skin to infiltrate the homeless community

# ? Jul 28, 2014 18:48

Guillermus

Angry Fish posted:

is that from the new predator movie?

# ? Jul 28, 2014 20:10

GoodbyeTurtles

GoodbyeTurtles posted:

kill them and wear their skin to infiltrate the homeless community

can you give us an update on the skinning process op

# ? Jul 28, 2014 20:11

RWT3: by Lowtax

Guillermus posted:

is that from the new predator movie?

Yeah, Carl Weathers is reprising his role as Dillon.

# ? Jul 28, 2014 20:12

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN: I put my thumb up my bum and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth.

If you leave the skin on, the homeless people are more delicious

# ? Jul 28, 2014 20:12

A Bad King: Suppose the oil man,
He comes to town.
And you don't lay money down.

Yet Mr. King,
He killed the thread
The other day.
Well I wonder.
Who's gonna go to Hell?

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN posted:

If you leave the skin on, the homeless people are more delicious

# ? Jul 28, 2014 20:18

Cosmic Charlie: How do you do? Truckin' in style along the avenue

Guillermus posted:

is that from the new predator movie?

I would watch the everloving poo poo out of a predator movie that starred that kid foiling a predators every move with inadvertent home alone/scooby doo style hijinks

# ? Jul 28, 2014 20:18

Pizzatime

just go out there, and be like, hey, I live here, and if you break my poo poo, I'm gonna break your poo poo, and since you don't have any poo poo, I'll leave it to you to figure out what poo poo I'm gonna break. then you walk back in and just before getting out of sight, you turn around and glare at them.

# ? Jul 28, 2014 20:20

google THIS

i, too, am a heartless person who would prefer to help the poor in a way that doesn't involve risk to my safety or property

# ? Jul 28, 2014 21:16

Kimmalah: Basically just a baby in a trenchcoat.

doesn't sound heartless, just smart :shrug:

# ? Jul 28, 2014 21:21

Awesome!: Ready for adventure!

Jett posted:

i, too, am a heartless person who would prefer to help the poor in a way that doesn't involve risk to my safety or property

this but unironically tbh

# ? Jul 28, 2014 21:26

google THIS

Awesome! posted:

this but unironically tbh

"am a heartless person who" was the only part of the post that was ironic

# ? Jul 28, 2014 21:39

posting smiling

Jett posted:

"am a heartless person who" was the only part of the post that was ironic

the distributive property makes the whole post ironic

# ? Jul 28, 2014 21:43

google THIS

Classicist posted:

the distributive property makes the whole post ironic

maybe if i had written it as

code:

irony * (heartless + want to help the poor + don't want to die)

but i clearly wrote it as

code:

irony * heartless + want to help the poor + don't want to die

and order of operations takes precedence

# ? Jul 28, 2014 21:54

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN: I put my thumb up my bum and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth.

Jett posted:

maybe if i had written it as
code:
irony * (heartless + want to help the poor + don't want to die)
but i clearly wrote it as
code:
irony * heartless + want to help the poor + don't want to die
and order of operations takes precedence

forget the homeless, look at this fukkin nerd!

# ? Jul 28, 2014 21:56

posting smiling

Jett posted:

maybe if i had written it as
code:
irony * (heartless + want to help the poor + don't want to die)
but i clearly wrote it as
code:
irony * heartless + want to help the poor + don't want to die
and order of operations takes precedence

# ? Jul 28, 2014 22:00

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# ? Apr 25, 2024 05:56

google THIS

Classicist posted:

# ? Jul 28, 2014 22:00

The Something Awful Forums > Main > BYOB: BYOB BYOB BOYB BBOY YOBB YBOB BBYO?? > My schizophrenic friend invited 3 homeless guys over to sleep on my porch

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