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1000 Sweaty Rikers
Oct 13, 2005

So, I'm reading "Dune" and I just realized something: Baron Vladimir Harkonen is the most goony character in literary history:

1. Fat.
2. Unsightly facial sores.
3. Wears rediculous hair.
4. Speaks funny.
5. Holds futuristic views about everything, including sex (heart-plugs instead of heart-throbs, but you get the point).
6. Longs for plans within plans, although they are objectively awful.
7. Literally looks like this:



The only thing missing for a complete Helldump-bingo is loving anime.


What do you think?

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warsow
Jun 28, 2009
Well he likes little boys

Pochoclo
Feb 4, 2008

No...
Clapping Larry
He doesn't look like that, are you really reading Dune or just watching Lynch's movie?

He's a fat non-crazy future space jerk noble and he loves diddling boys but the levitator belt (second phase of the Holtzmann effect was it?) and sores and heart-plugs and balls-to-the-wall murderous insanity are a David Lynch original.

Hayburner
Jan 29, 2005

hi
goons haha!

Babby Sathanas
May 16, 2006

bearbating is now adorable

Pochoclo posted:

He doesn't look like that, are you really reading Dune or just watching Lynch's movie?

He's a fat non-crazy future space jerk noble and he loves diddling boys but the levitator belt (second phase of the Holtzmann effect was it?) and sores and heart-plugs and balls-to-the-wall murderous insanity are a David Lynch original.

and one of the many reasons why it's bad

dune owns, david lynch does not

SHISHKABOB
Nov 30, 2012

Fun Shoe
Nah the movie was great, especially if you watch it when you're eight years old.

The Belgian
Oct 28, 2008

Babby Sathanas posted:

and one of the many reasons why it's bad

dune owns, david lynch does not

actually david lynch is good & his movies cool

CAPTAIN CAPSLOCK
Sep 11, 2001



Pochoclo posted:

He doesn't look like that, are you really reading Dune or just watching Lynch's movie?

He's a fat non-crazy future space jerk noble and he loves diddling boys but the levitator belt (second phase of the Holtzmann effect was it?) and sores and heart-plugs and balls-to-the-wall murderous insanity are a David Lynch original.

called out OP

SHISHKABOB
Nov 30, 2012

Fun Shoe
Also the op didn't say he was crazy and murderously insane, only direct reference to the movie was the pic.

I coulda swore he was supes fat tho, guess I read the book a p long time ago.

Hip Gelatinous Cube
May 30, 2001

what up
"Presently,"
—the beginning of every paragraph ever written by frank herbert

Mutant Headcrab
May 14, 2007

SHISHKABOB posted:

I coulda swore he was supes fat tho, guess I read the book a p long time ago.

He was supes fat. He did have suspensor things in the book, but they didn't make him fly. They just helped lift his fat rolls so that he could walk around.

tiananman
Feb 6, 2005
Non-Headkins Splatoma
Hey OP you're not reading the book. In fact, you're watching a movie. A moving picture. A book is filled with words and doesn't typically contain many pictures.

edit: Ignatius J. Reilly is the gooniest character in literature.

Cosmik Slop
Oct 9, 2007

What's a hole doing in my TARDIS?


tiananman posted:

Hey OP you're not reading the book. In fact, you're watching a movie. A moving picture. A book is filled with words and doesn't typically contain many pictures.

edit: Ignatius J. Reilly is the gooniest character in literature.

Harold Lauder is right up there, too. (Whether or not you agree that The Stand is "literature")

SniperWoreConverse
Mar 20, 2010



Gun Saliva

The Tao Jones posted:

Harold Lauder is right up there, too. (Whether or not you agree that The Stand is "literature")

the best part about him is he worked out and interacted with people, and without realizing it became a normal person. When he became aware of this he had to come to grips whith who he wanted to be, he could be a normal cool dude if he wanted, but he actively chose to hold on to his nerd getting shoved in lockers mentalitiy and set off a bomb over it

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TdaM5Mv-TTo

spank my snatch
Jun 4, 2009

Babby Sathanas posted:


dune owns, david lynch owns

No. 6
Jun 30, 2002

The first 30 mins of David Lynch's Dune were pretty good but then it all goes to poo poo. This film has to be the most poorly paced film I've ever watched.

Pochoclo
Feb 4, 2008

No...
Clapping Larry
It's the only cinematic adaptation of Dune that got the atmosphere right, though.

SniperWoreConverse
Mar 20, 2010



Gun Saliva
years ago i picked up some random dune book wondering what all the hubbub was about. I flipped it randomly open and it was talking how some 10y/o became a full member of the tribe and participated in its orgies. i was like man this series is prob not for me and put it back

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TdaM5Mv-TTo

Wrestlepig
Feb 25, 2011

my mum says im cool

Toilet Rascal

Tace Vim posted:

5. Holds futuristic views about everything, including sex (heart-plugs instead of heart-throbs, but you get the point).


What do you think?

he's in the future you goof

Pochoclo
Feb 4, 2008

No...
Clapping Larry

SniperWoreConverse posted:

years ago i picked up some random dune book wondering what all the hubbub was about. I flipped it randomly open and it was talking how some 10y/o became a full member of the tribe and participated in its orgies. i was like man this series is prob not for me and put it back

Don't pick up a Dune book at random. Don't read anything except the first book of Dune, unless you're a die-hard fanatic of the series.

Also spice orgies... eh, okay, I'm not gonna defend Herbert on that one, he gets creepy sometimes, but it's such a small part of the book that it's usually forgivable.

Other Barry
Jun 5, 2012


Dinosaur Gum
The second book is sort of not really ok

but really yeah just read the first one, and even it is a bit



dry

SHISHKABOB
Nov 30, 2012

Fun Shoe

Mutant Headcrab posted:

He was supes fat. He did have suspensor things in the book, but they didn't make him fly. They just helped lift his fat rolls so that he could walk around.

The flying stuff meant he had a really hilariously awesome death though.

1000 Sweaty Rikers
Oct 13, 2005

Pochoclo posted:

He doesn't look like that, are you really reading Dune or just watching Lynch's movie?

I saw the movie before reading the book, so for better or worse, that's how I always see the Baron.

tiananman
Feb 6, 2005
Non-Headkins Splatoma
The first book is one of the best sci-fi novels ever written. It's so good that you may be tempted to read some of the sequels, but just don't.

The movie is good, but it's not a good adaptation of the book.

Flesh Forge
Jan 31, 2011

LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT MY DOG

Ferid posted:

The second book is sort of not really ok

but really yeah just read the first one, and even it is a bit



dry

i see waht u did tehre

Trixie Hardcore
Jul 1, 2006

Placeholder.
I'm going to admit, I've read a lot of sci-fi and it's my favorite genre but I could not get very far into Dune. I thought I would really enjoy it and maybe it's over my head or it's not my subgenre or something. I tried watching the movie but quickly realized it was not going to be anything like the book. I feel like I'm missing out.

Police Automaton
Mar 17, 2009
"You are standing in a thread. Someone has made an insightful post."
LOOK AT insightful post
"It's a pretty good post."
HATE post
"I don't understand"
SHIT ON post
"You shit on the post. Why."
the book had it's moments but mehhhh

The movie was great.

SciFi writing is often very, very bad.

pogue23
Aug 15, 2002

Son, I am disappoint.
considering the fact that he was poisoned into being fat by a space lesbian, I can agree with this overall assessment.

mucocele
Nov 3, 2012

Momplestiltskin
Jan 15, 2014

Got any extra firstborns?

This is really all that needs to be said imo. pretty sure sting won an academy award for this performance

OXBALLS DOT COM
Sep 11, 2005

by FactsAreUseless
Young Orc

Trixie Hardcore posted:

I'm going to admit, I've read a lot of sci-fi and it's my favorite genre but I could not get very far into Dune. I thought I would really enjoy it and maybe it's over my head or it's not my subgenre or something. I tried watching the movie but quickly realized it was not going to be anything like the book. I feel like I'm missing out.

Try again the book is good

Guildenstern Mother
Mar 31, 2010

Why walk when you can ride?
It helps if you remember that Herbert was a bigger religious studies nerd than Tolkien was a linguistics nerd.

necroid
May 14, 2009

I'm just gonna quote myself itt too

necroid posted:

do yourself a favor and read all 6 of Frank Herbert's books. God Emperor of Dune is the best, after the first

MeLKoR
Dec 23, 2004

by FactsAreUseless

Trixie Hardcore posted:

I'm going to admit, I've read a lot of sci-fi and it's my favorite genre but I could not get very far into Dune. I thought I would really enjoy it and maybe it's over my head or it's not my subgenre or something. I tried watching the movie but quickly realized it was not going to be anything like the book. I feel like I'm missing out.

Don't worry, you're just a moron. Most people are. :smugbert:

Manifest
Jul 7, 2007

HELLO THERE I COME FROM THE FUTURE
Dune is the poo poo. Just don't read any of the poo poo Brian Herbert put out after his father's death.


Really you're best off treating it as a trilogy and only reading the first three books.

Karl Rove
Feb 26, 2006

Oh man, the Elders are really lovely guys. Their astral projection seminars are literally off the fucking planet, and highly recommended.

necroid posted:

do yourself a favor and read all 6 of Frank Herbert's books. God Emperor of Dune is the best, after the first

this, though it took me a second read to fully appreciate everything going on in that book

FedEx Mercury
Jan 7, 2004

Me bad posting? That's unpossible!
Lipstick Apathy
God Emperor is not that great and the beginning of the end for the series imo. When you start doing retarded time skips like that you may as well come up with an original setting.

necroid
May 14, 2009

welp I found it fascinating exactly because of the time gap and because of Leto II the all-knowing sad manchildworm

yo mamma a Horus
Apr 7, 2008

Nap Ghost
This is a good thread, my Lord. *spits on u table*

this thread is gay and stuped

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1000 Sweaty Rikers
Oct 13, 2005

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