Life of a Wizard CYOA

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Video Games > Let's Play! > Life of a Wizard CYOA

ThatPazuzu: Sep 8, 2011; I'm so depressed, I can't even blink.

What is this?

In my opinion, the best game Choice of Games has to offer. Life of a Wizard is a 130,000-word long RPG CYOA game where you follow a wizard from his humble origins to his greatest accomplishments and old age. It was written by Mike Walter using Dan Fabulich's ChoiceScript and is hosted on ChoiceOfGames.com. It's available for purchase through the Chrome Webstore, Google Playstore, and iTunes.

Who are Choice of Games?

A game company that exclusively publishes CYOA games. They produce their own games but will host fan made games that use their ChoiceScript. All their games wildly vary in quality and most rely on min-maxing.

So we just min-max like in all Choice of Games games?

Nope! This game is different because the goal is to Max-Max. Variety is important and so is getting max points (100) in every skill.

Will we make every decision?

Pretty much, the only thing I will do is equipping your eventual party because it involves skipping around menus and it can only help.

What can we do in this game?

Tons of stuff! Here's a list of all the achievements.

quote:

Golden Age - Bring the Kingdom of Daria into a new Golden Age
Royal Blood - Become the parent of the new monarch
Archdruid - Become the Archdruid
Fallen Angel - Rise to the heavens and then fall from grace.
Undead Master - Complete the ancient ritual and become a lich.
Family Business - Have your child become the royal wizard.
Archbishop - Become the Archbishop
Ain't Go Nobody - Have no friends and no lovers
Graduate - You graduated from the Academy of Wizards
Slayer - You slew the Great Dragon Parnaxxus
Take Over The World - You took over the world
Perfect Party - You acquired the perfect iron fighter, mean thief, and friendly cleric for your party.
Archmage - You became the Archmage

Any rules?

Vote once, refrain from spoilers, don't be a jerkhole.

What's with those gifs?

I thought they'd be funny.

How come everyone is really old?
IT'S A WIZARD THING

ThatPazuzu fucked around with this message at 17:55 on Sep 3, 2014

# ? Jul 28, 2014 19:50

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Apr 19, 2024 03:36

ThatPazuzu: Sep 8, 2011; I'm so depressed, I can't even blink.

Let's get started!

quote:

� Wizards. From the kindly old white-bearded casters wearing robes with stars and moons to the battle-hardened war-mage throwing fire balls at dragons. The royal family has always had one on hand: a wise diviner to lead the kingdom into peace or a dangerous conjurer to dominate all of the land under one rule. Or perhaps a divine healer? An alchemist? Or even a necromancer? The combinations are boundless. Let me tell you my story.

I wasn't always a wizened old wizard, you know. Wizards begin their lives the same as everyone else. I was born in a small village in the Kingdom of Daria. King Norbert and Queen Audrey reigned in the capital city of Tornassa, which was many miles away from my small village.

I remember the day I was born.

Okay, this game starts off with a bunch of questions for customizing our character. I say we try to get them out of the way with one fell swoop and just answer them all together. We need to choose our race, sex, name and whether or not our parents loved us. Since all the races are unique, I took some time to summarize their abilities.

quote:

Human: Humans are the most common race by far. They�re also very diverse so there aren�t many universal human traits. Notably, they are genetically compatible with Elves, Orcs, Half-Orcs, and Half-Elves. The Royal Family of Daria are human, too. (Kingdom Faction +20, Diplomacy +25)

Elves: Elves are tall, exotic, and elegant fey. They look very similar to humans except for their pointed ears. They mostly live in Alderheart Forest, where they commune with nature and serve their Elf Queen. Myth of their longevity are just myths, however. (Elf Faction +25, Nature +25, Willpower +5)

Dwarves: Dwarves are stout beard-lovers who are famous for their martial prowess and smithing. They serve their Dwarf King within Grey Mountain, which they can naturally navigate expertly. (Dwarf Faction +25, Smithing +25, Body +5)

Halflings: Halflings are small, human-like creatures. What they lack in physical abilities, they make up for in bravado and sneakiness. (Thievery +25, Body -5, Personality +10)

Gnomes: Gnomes are a very small, whimsical race. They are rather eccentric, which can mask their crafty nature. Gnomes also have a special relationship with illusionary magic that few understand. (Economics +15, Illusion +25)

Half-Orcs: Half-Orcs are gruff and tough human-orc hybrids. They still exhibit the warrior nature and aggressiveness of orcs but toned down by their human heritage, allowing them to live in human society. (Orc Faction +25, Fighting +25, Body +10, Willpower -5, Personality -5)

Half-Elves: Half-Elves are exotic human-elf hybrids. Although not hated or even disliked, they are largely disowned by elf society. They have a tendency to turn to thieving to support themselves. (Nature +15, Thievery +15, Willpower +3, Body +2)

Pure Blood Orcs: Pure blood orcs are a hot tempered, combative race. Almost all orcs live in the wilderness, away from any human society. There they have a tribalistic society with shamans and witch doctors that faithfully serve an Orc Chieftain. (Orc faction +50, Fighting +30. Body, Willpower -10, Personality -10)

Goblins: Goblins are small, hideous creatures that are rarely found in human society. They have green skin, big ears, and sharp yellow teeth. Their appearance often causes people to fear or distrust them. This isn�t completely unwarranted as they are often greedy, suspicious and untrustworthy. (Thievery +15, Economics +15, Willpower -5, Personality -20)

Trolls: Trolls are fearsome creatures. They are green skinning and massive in size with long, long arms. Their blood has healing properties, giving them regenerative abilities. Because of this they are very difficult to defeat in combat. Human society often shuns them and considers them brutish and unintelligent. (Fighting +30, Body+20, Willpower -10, Personality -20, Healing +15)

ThatPazuzu fucked around with this message at 21:14 on Jul 28, 2014

# ? Jul 28, 2014 19:51

Emmideer: Oct 20, 2011; Lovely night, no?; Grimey Drawer

Race: Goblin
Sex: Male
Name: Meltyface
Did our parents love us?: Hell no

# ? Jul 28, 2014 20:08

Rocket Baby Dolls: Mar 3, 2006; Normally I don't make aesthetic criticisms in other peoples' homes, but that rug looks like a beaver exploded. If meat is murder, then that rug is at least a severe beating.

I've never even heard of this but I'm game to see where it'll head.

Race: Troll
Sex: Male
Name: Cuddles
Did our parents love us?: No

# ? Jul 28, 2014 20:27

Darth TNT: Sep 20, 2013

race: Elf
Gender: Male
Name: Error
Did our parents love us: No.

# ? Jul 28, 2014 20:36

Sally: Jan 9, 2007; Don't post Small Dash!

Human
Male
Dash Rendar
Our parents loved our brother more but he's dead D:

This CYOA looks pretty hardcore.

# ? Jul 28, 2014 20:47

King Doom: Dec 1, 2004; I am on the Internet.

race: Troll
gender:female
name:Ilkhan Scapeshaper
parents:yes

# ? Jul 29, 2014 00:00

Astus: Nov 11, 2008

Race: Goblin
Sex: Male
Name: Timmy
Did our parents love us?: Hell no.

# ? Jul 29, 2014 00:02

Fumbles: Mar 22, 2013; Can I get a reroll?

Darth TNT posted:

race: Elf
Gender: Male
Name: Error
Did our parents love us: No.

This

# ? Jul 29, 2014 00:09

ThatPazuzu: Sep 8, 2011; I'm so depressed, I can't even blink.

It's a three way tie with the race. Anyone care to break it?

# ? Jul 29, 2014 01:24

Bobbin Threadbare: Jan 2, 2009; I'm looking for a flock of urbanmechs.

I seem to recall going with a female goblin the last time this CYOA came up, so how about

Troll
Male
Krogg the Romk
Loving parents

# ? Jul 29, 2014 01:32

Emmideer: Oct 20, 2011; Lovely night, no?; Grimey Drawer

ThatPazuzu posted:

It's a three way tie with the race. Anyone care to break it?

I change my vote to elf

# ? Jul 29, 2014 01:49

Preid: May 22, 2014

Bobbin Threadbare posted:

I seem to recall going with a female goblin the last time this CYOA came up, so how about

Troll
Male
Krogg the Romk
Loving parents

This would be interesting to see.

# ? Jul 29, 2014 09:36

Anticheese: Feb 13, 2008; $60,000,000 sexbot

Bobbin Threadbare posted:

I seem to recall going with a female goblin the last time this CYOA came up, so how about

Troll
Male
Krogg the Romk
Loving parents

An Interesting Choice.

# ? Jul 29, 2014 10:05

ThatPazuzu: Sep 8, 2011; I'm so depressed, I can't even blink.

quote:

My parents were good people.
~~My parents didn't want me.~~

quote:

They were loving individuals. They were very good to me, their precious little...
...boy.
~~...girl~~

quote:

They named me Krogg the Romk

quote:

I grew up in the village of Elmvale where nearly everyone was human, although there were a exceptions. The entire kingdom of Daria was like that, besides the dwarves under the Grey Mountain, the elves in the Alderheart Forest, and the orcs in the wilderness to the west. Our kingdom was very racially tolerant, when I was young.
My parents and I were humans
My parents and I were elves
My parents and I were dwarves
My parents and I were halflings
My parents and I were gnomes
My parents and I were half-orcs
My parents and I were half-elves
My parents and I were pureblood orcs
My parents and I were goblins
My parents and I were trolls

quote:

It was very difficult being a troll and growing up in a human village. My parents were surprisingly passive and reasonable, for our kind. The other races considered us very frightening, but our green skin, long arms, and enormous height seemed normal to me. We were the only trolls I ever saw growing up. There were no other trolls living in any human cities that I knew of.
(Fighting +30, Body +20, Willpower -10, Personality -20, Healing +15)

My parents weren't poor, as we always seemed to have what we needed when I was growing up. They always made sure I had nice clothes and good shoes. During the holidays, they always seemed to find enough coin to buy me a special toy and have a big meal. I still remember my mother's soft voice when she sang me to sleep and my father's calm strength whenever I awoke in the night from a bad dream.

Even as a young child, I was drawn into the unknown. I remember my first magical experience, even though I was only five years old. I didn't know where my parents were, but I wandered off alone�

...into the forest.
...into a graveyard.
...into the temple.
...into the village witch's hut.

STATS posted:

Krogg the Romk, a troll boy
Age: 5
50% Good/50% Evil
Body: 45%
Personality: 5%
Willpower: 15%
Fame: 0%

Gold: 0

INVENTORY:
Nothing

MAGIC:

Alchemy: 0%
Conjuration: 0%
Divination: 0%
Enchantment: 0%
Healing: 15%
Illusion: 0%
Necromancy: 0%
Summoning: 0%
Transmutation: 0%

KNOWLEDGE:

Arcana: 0%
Agriculture: 0%
Diplomacy: 0%
Economics: 0%
Fighting: 30%
Geography: 0%
History: 0%
Nature: 0%
Religion: 0%
Smithing: 0%
Thievery: 0%
Warcraft: 0%

FRIENDS AND FOLLOWERS:
Familiar: None

- my loving parents.

FACTIONS:
Kingdom Citizens: 10
Royal Family: 0
Elves: 0
Dwarves: 0
Orcs: -30
Thieves Guild: 0
Mage Guild: 0
Fighter Guild: 0

ThatPazuzu fucked around with this message at 13:45 on Jul 29, 2014

# ? Jul 29, 2014 13:17

Darth TNT: Sep 20, 2013

With our parents loving us we need a different trauma. Into the witch hut we go went.

# ? Jul 29, 2014 18:03

Drowning Rabbit: Oct 28, 2003; YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!

Darth TNT posted:

With our parents loving us we need a different trauma. Into the witch hut we go went.

Seconded, Into the witch hut we went.

# ? Jul 29, 2014 18:53

ThatPazuzu: Sep 8, 2011; I'm so depressed, I can't even blink.

quote:

The hut was empty; I don't know where the witch was that day. I saw dried herbs, magical talismans and trinkets all over the shelves. A large black cauldron sat over a small fire in the middle of the hut.

I threw all sorts of dried herbs and ingredients into her cauldron, making a big mess.
I stole her crystal ball.
I made friends with her pet rat, which started following me around everywhere.
She returned and read my fortune.

STATS posted:

Krogg the Romk, a troll boy
Age: 5
50% Good/50% Evil
Body: 45%
Personality: 5%
Willpower: 15%
Fame: 0%

Gold: 0

INVENTORY:
Nothing

MAGIC:

Alchemy: 0%
Conjuration: 0%
Divination: 0%
Enchantment: 0%
Healing: 15%
Illusion: 0%
Necromancy: 0%
Summoning: 0%
Transmutation: 0%

KNOWLEDGE:

Arcana: 0%
Agriculture: 0%
Diplomacy: 0%
Economics: 0%
Fighting: 30%
Geography: 0%
History: 0%
Nature: 0%
Religion: 0%
Smithing: 0%
Thievery: 0%
Warcraft: 0%

FRIENDS AND FOLLOWERS:
Familiar: None

- my loving parents.

FACTIONS:
Kingdom Citizens: 10
Royal Family: 0
Elves: 0
Dwarves: 0
Orcs: -30
Thieves Guild: 0
Mage Guild: 0
Fighter Guild: 0

# ? Jul 29, 2014 18:53

Bobbin Threadbare: Jan 2, 2009; I'm looking for a flock of urbanmechs.

I named her rat George.

# ? Jul 29, 2014 18:58

Added Space: Jul 13, 2012; Free Markets
Free People

Curse you Hayard-Gunnes!

I remember stealing is important, so start our life of crime.

# ? Jul 29, 2014 19:28

Drowning Rabbit: Oct 28, 2003; YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!

I made friends with her pet rat, which started following me around everywhere.

George was a good friend.

# ? Jul 29, 2014 19:44

evilmiera: Dec 14, 2009; Status: Ravenously Rambunctious

Drowning Rabbit posted:

I made friends with her pet rat, which started following me around everywhere.

George was a good friend.

We would pet him and feed him and call him Mo

# ? Jul 29, 2014 20:45

ThatPazuzu: Sep 8, 2011; I'm so depressed, I can't even blink.

quote:

I was playing with the rat a few days later, and the witch said I could keep it. She warned me that if I kept the rat, it would be mine forever.

Did I find my familiar that day?

Yes, I did.
No, I didn't keep the rat.

Familiars are your animal companions in this game. They aren't super important but they can occasionally be very helpful. You can only have one and once you select it you're bound to that one for life.

Oh, and keeping the stats in my posts isn't really useful yet but later it will be.

STATS posted:

Krogg the Romk, a troll boy
Age: 5
50% Good/50% Evil
Body: 45%
Personality: 5%
Willpower: 15%
Fame: 0%

Gold: 0

INVENTORY:
Nothing

MAGIC:

Alchemy: 0%
Conjuration: 0%
Divination: 0%
Enchantment: 0%
Healing: 15%
Illusion: 0%
Necromancy: 0%
Summoning: 0%
Transmutation: 0%

KNOWLEDGE:

Arcana: 0%
Agriculture: 0%
Diplomacy: 0%
Economics: 0%
Fighting: 30%
Geography: 0%
History: 0%
Nature: 0%
Religion: 0%
Smithing: 0%
Thievery: 0%
Warcraft: 0%

FRIENDS AND FOLLOWERS:
Familiar: None

- my loving parents.

FACTIONS:
Kingdom Citizens: 10
Royal Family: 0
Elves: 0
Dwarves: 0
Orcs: -30
Thieves Guild: 0
Mage Guild: 0
Fighter Guild: 0

# ? Jul 29, 2014 21:11

Emmideer: Oct 20, 2011; Lovely night, no?; Grimey Drawer

Man, screw rats. We need a cooler familiar.

# ? Jul 29, 2014 21:38

Darth TNT: Sep 20, 2013

The rat connected with us on a spiritual level. It was like our soulmate man. With the scurrying, diseases and cheese.

# ? Jul 29, 2014 21:59

Drowning Rabbit: Oct 28, 2003; YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!

We ditched the rat, looking for something more bad rear end as a familiar.

# ? Jul 29, 2014 22:11

Bobbin Threadbare: Jan 2, 2009; I'm looking for a flock of urbanmechs.

I say we keep the rat, but only if it's impossible to get a rabbit.

# ? Jul 29, 2014 22:21

ThatPazuzu: Sep 8, 2011; I'm so depressed, I can't even blink.

Bobbin Threadbare posted:

I say we keep the rat, but only if it's impossible to get a rabbit.

There are no rabbits, sadly.

# ? Jul 29, 2014 22:23

Bobbin Threadbare: Jan 2, 2009; I'm looking for a flock of urbanmechs.

ThatPazuzu posted:

There are no rabbits, sadly.

Well, there you go. Besides, one of the greatest wizards of all time was a rat's familiar.

# ? Jul 29, 2014 22:31

Astus: Nov 11, 2008

Let our Troll wizard have his rat friend.

# ? Jul 29, 2014 22:36

ThatPazuzu: Sep 8, 2011; I'm so depressed, I can't even blink.

quote:

So I named it... George

Well, it was the will of the people.

quote:

At the age of seven, I made a friend. Childhood friends are special since they remain a part of you for the rest of your life, even after you've grown apart. I was surprised that anyone would want to be friends with me, considering that I was a troll. My best friend was…

...a boy.
...a girl.
...imaginary.

STATS posted:

Krogg the Romk, a troll boy
Age: 7
50% Good/50% Evil
Body: 45%
Personality: 5%
Willpower: 15%
Fame: 0%

Gold: 0

INVENTORY:
Nothing

MAGIC:

Alchemy: 0%
Conjuration: 0%
Divination: 0%
Enchantment: 0%
Healing: 15%
Illusion: 0%
Necromancy: 0%
Summoning: 0%
Transmutation: 0%

KNOWLEDGE:

Arcana: 0%
Agriculture: 0%
Diplomacy: 0%
Economics: 0%
Fighting: 30%
Geography: 0%
History: 0%
Nature: 0%
Religion: 0%
Smithing: 0%
Thievery: 0%
Warcraft: 0%

FRIENDS AND FOLLOWERS:
Familiar: George the rat

- my loving parents.

FACTIONS:
Kingdom Citizens: 10
Royal Family: 0
Elves: 0
Dwarves: 0
Orcs: -30
Thieves Guild: 0
Mage Guild: 0
Fighter Guild: 0

# ? Jul 29, 2014 22:47

Ineffable: Jul 4, 2012

Our protagonist must have had very low self-esteem if he was surprised when he got an imaginary friend.

# ? Jul 30, 2014 00:06

Pyroi: Aug 17, 2013; gay elf noises

We're a troll. George was our only friend, aside from our TOTALLY REAL AND CERTAINLY NOT IMAGINARY friend Lennie.

# ? Jul 30, 2014 01:01

Preid: May 22, 2014

You can not trust the filthy Human children, It's better to stay with imagination.

# ? Jul 30, 2014 02:30

ThatPazuzu: Sep 8, 2011; I'm so depressed, I can't even blink.

Preid posted:

You can not trust the filthy Human children, It's better to stay with imagination.

If we choose a friend, they can be most races.

# ? Jul 30, 2014 02:52

Nondevor: Jun 1, 2011; catposting

Let's have an imaginary, super-tiny dwarf friend.

# ? Jul 30, 2014 02:56

ThatPazuzu: Sep 8, 2011; I'm so depressed, I can't even blink.

quote:

I was a very lonely child.
(Personality -5)

There was a bully in my village who was a few years older than me. Yes, even I had this kind of trouble when I was a child.

He terrorized my childhood.
She terrorized my childhood.

STATS posted:

Krogg the Romk, a troll boy
Age: 7
50% Good/50% Evil
Body: 45%
Personality: 1%
Willpower: 15%
Fame: 0%

Gold: 0

INVENTORY:
Nothing

MAGIC:

Alchemy: 0%
Conjuration: 0%
Divination: 0%
Enchantment: 0%
Healing: 15%
Illusion: 0%
Necromancy: 0%
Summoning: 0%
Transmutation: 0%

KNOWLEDGE:

Arcana: 0%
Agriculture: 0%
Diplomacy: 0%
Economics: 0%
Fighting: 30%
Geography: 0%
History: 0%
Nature: 0%
Religion: 0%
Smithing: 0%
Thievery: 0%
Warcraft: 0%

FRIENDS AND FOLLOWERS:
Familiar: George the rat

- my loving parents.

FACTIONS:
Kingdom Citizens: 10
Royal Family: 0
Elves: 0
Dwarves: 0
Orcs: -30
Thieves Guild: 0
Mage Guild: 0
Fighter Guild: 0

# ? Jul 30, 2014 03:21

Kanthulhu: Apr 8, 2009; NO ONE SPOIL GAME OF THRONES FOR ME!

IF SOMEONE TELLS ME THAT OBERYN MARTELL AND THE MOUNTAIN DIE THIS SEASON, I'M GOING TO BE PISSED.

BUT NOT HALF AS PISSED AS I'D BE IF SOMEONE WERE TO SPOIL VARYS KILLING A LANISTER!!!

(Dany shits in a field)

She.

# ? Jul 30, 2014 03:26

Pyroi: Aug 17, 2013; gay elf noises

Girls are very mean. She spread rumors about poor Krogg and made fun of him when his family couldn't afford the latest designer horses. Mostly because the only ones trolls can ride have to be imported from the lands of the Ice Titans.

# ? Jul 30, 2014 03:31

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Apr 19, 2024 03:36

ThatPazuzu: Sep 8, 2011; I'm so depressed, I can't even blink.

quote:

Her name was…

…Sue.
…Brianna.
…Francine.
…Natasha.
…something else.

STATS posted:

Krogg the Romk, a troll boy
Age: 7
50% Good/50% Evil
Body: 45%
Personality: 1%
Willpower: 15%
Fame: 0%

Gold: 0

INVENTORY:
Nothing

MAGIC:

Alchemy: 0%
Conjuration: 0%
Divination: 0%
Enchantment: 0%
Healing: 15%
Illusion: 0%
Necromancy: 0%
Summoning: 0%
Transmutation: 0%

KNOWLEDGE:

Arcana: 0%
Agriculture: 0%
Diplomacy: 0%
Economics: 0%
Fighting: 30%
Geography: 0%
History: 0%
Nature: 0%
Religion: 0%
Smithing: 0%
Thievery: 0%
Warcraft: 0%

FRIENDS AND FOLLOWERS:
Familiar: George the rat

- my loving parents.

FACTIONS:
Kingdom Citizens: 10
Royal Family: 0
Elves: 0
Dwarves: 0
Orcs: -30
Thieves Guild: 0
Mage Guild: 0
Fighter Guild: 0

# ? Jul 30, 2014 13:39

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Video Games > Let's Play! > Life of a Wizard CYOA

«‹›83 »