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Moridin920
Nov 15, 2007

by FactsAreUseless
She's one of those people THAT YELLS ALL THE TIME WHEN SPEAKING. She has a really scratchy annoying voice. She runs a flea market out of her backyard like 3-4 days a week so I get to hear her trying to sell crap to people from early in the morning well into the afternoon.

Her dog is one of those tiny retard dogs that yips and yaps constantly CONSTANTLY for hours on end. Sometimes, she'll yell BRADLEY BRAAADLEEEEY at the top of her lungs at it, because that totally stops it barking (it doesn't).

Some of the neighbors have asked her politely to please do something and she tells them to gently caress off. Her daughter was there once, and she threatened to kill my neighbors kids when they complained about the dog. For reference her daughter is like a 40 year old woman.

And now she is suing my landlord about 10 sq feet of my yard which she claims is her property due to an agreement with the previous building owner SIXTY YEARS AGO. So if she wins the whole fence and poo poo would have to be redone.

We've complained about the flea market thing, the city says they won't do anything about it. We've got noise complaints against her, the cops won't do anything about it.

But she did call animal control about my dog "because it looks like a wolf!" and they lolled at her.

This loving bitch.

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Flaggy
Jul 6, 2007

Grandpa Cthulu needs his napping chair



Grimey Drawer
I smell a sitcom.

1gnoirents
Jun 28, 2014

hello :)
is she hot

Moridin920
Nov 15, 2007

by FactsAreUseless

1gnoirents posted:

is she hot

No dude she's like 60 or some poo poo.

1gnoirents
Jun 28, 2014

hello :)

Moridin920 posted:

No dude she's like 60 or some poo poo.

daughter?

Lamebot
Sep 8, 2005

ロボ顔菌~♡
is the dog hot?

1gnoirents
Jun 28, 2014

hello :)
we need some fuckin answers dude

Rambling Robot
Sep 13, 2011
Duggar Fan Club Superstar #1 LOL

Flaggy posted:

I smell a sitcom.

only is the neighbor is an obese jewish woman with a hot daughter.

FogHelmut
Dec 18, 2003

this lady is definitely fat

Flaggy
Jul 6, 2007

Grandpa Cthulu needs his napping chair



Grimey Drawer
pics of the lady and her hot daughter tia

1gnoirents
Jun 28, 2014

hello :)
well if shes 60 then potentially a granddaughter could be old enough so what about her hotness? does she even exist? wtf kind of OP is this anyway

whoflungpoop
Sep 9, 2004

With you and the constellations
slap her titty

Frog Act
Feb 10, 2012



is she one of those suepr fat type old ladies who wears a sheer mumu all the time?

Pimpcasso
Mar 13, 2002

VOLS BITCH
let me know if you find any good deals on cheap blue jeans at her flea market, op

Morally Inept
Mar 5, 2012

by XyloJW
You do realize that you're going to have to find a way to mess with her, right?

Nathilus
Apr 4, 2002

I alone can see through the media bias.

I'm also stupid on a scale that can only be measured in Reddits.
You already know what you need to do, but I'll quote some classic literature to help you think about and refine your method.

quote:

AT LENGTH I would be avenged; this was a point definitively settled -- but the very definitiveness with which it was resolved precluded the idea of risk. I must not only punish, but punish with impunity. A wrong is unredressed when retribution overtakes its redresser. It is equally unredressed when the avenger fails to make himself felt as such to him who has done the wrong.

whoflungpoop
Sep 9, 2004

With you and the constellations

Morally Inept posted:

You do realize that you're going to have to find a way to mess with her, right?
Before you get your hopes up someone already hosed the dog

DJ Fuckboy Supreme
Feb 10, 2011

And when you stare long into the abyss, you become aggressively, terminally chill

I have a downstairs neighbor who is constantly yelling at her alcoholic boyfriend, and I wonder when I will call the cops on them for the amount of times I've heard doors slamming, and her crying and asking him not to hurt her.

lovely neighbors suck

Frog Act
Feb 10, 2012



NotAnArtist posted:

I have a downstairs neighbor who is constantly yelling at her alcoholic boyfriend, and I wonder when I will call the cops on them for the amount of times I've heard doors slamming, and her crying and asking him not to hurt her.

lovely neighbors suck

so you've listened in to phsyical spousal abuse and not caled the pigs? class act

Lamebot
Sep 8, 2005

ロボ顔菌~♡

Fandyien posted:

so you've listened in to phsyical spousal abuse and not caled the pigs? class act

swatting them would be a good idea..

Sponge Baathist
Jan 30, 2010

by FactsAreUseless
get a fedex box and label and instead of shipping through them just poo poo in the box and deliver overnight

Kimmalah
Nov 14, 2005

Basically just a baby in a trenchcoat.


E/N already has the perfect lovely neighbor/land dispute thread for you.

numberoneposter
Feb 19, 2014

How much do I cum? The answer might surprise you!

http://www.pakin.org/complaint

streamline your passive aggressive note campaign

Unknowable Hole
Feb 2, 2005


Pillbug
Take a poop on her lawn at night. Blame on dog.

Suicide Sam E.
Jun 30, 2013

by XyloJW
I don't want you to over-react. But you should consider killing your bitch neighbor and framing the second-most annoying neighbor.

DJ Fuckboy Supreme
Feb 10, 2011

And when you stare long into the abyss, you become aggressively, terminally chill

Fandyien posted:

so you've listened in to phsyical spousal abuse and not caled the pigs? class act

I've a neighbor or who's friends with her and has never seen signs of abuse, he'd be the first to call.

Good kneejerk reaction though A+

Pimpcasso
Mar 13, 2002

VOLS BITCH
I only see my neighbor walking his dogs but other than that he's a ghost

I can ask him if he wants to be your neighbor op

Frog Act
Feb 10, 2012



NotAnArtist posted:

I've a neighbor or who's friends with her and has never seen signs of abuse, he'd be the first to call.

Good kneejerk reaction though A+

i feel like that was less kneejerk and more a reasonable reading of your post and teh crying, pleading part

Roleplaying Larry
Dec 5, 2008
Rape her.

Straker
Nov 10, 2005
go to her "flea market", try to barter with her for like an old ratty knit sweater or something

be like "here will you take this for it" and slap down a leaky gallon ziploc bag full of diarrhea as hard as you can, with the opening/holes facing her

then leave

Three Olives
Apr 10, 2005

What if Hitler invented the BMW i3 Subcompact Electric car?
I just want to say that I get along with every single one of my neighbors and the worst that I can say about any of them is they are cold but polite and cordial instead of outgoing and super friendly.

Well there was this one guy that we thought maybe tried to throw his girlfriend off a 18th story balcony but he always seemed nice and it turned out his girlfriend was legitimately a lying crazy bitch so now we mostly just think he has extremely poor judgement and probably didn't try and do it.

Zippy the Bummer
Dec 14, 2008

Silent Majority
The Don
LORD COMMANDER OF THE UKRAINIAN ARMED FORCES
she'll be dead within the decade. just be patient, op.

perhaps you should remind her of that, might hasten things

Frog Act
Feb 10, 2012



JawKnee
Mar 24, 2007





You'll take the ride to leave this town along that yellow line
poo poo on her driveway every night

DJ Fuckboy Supreme
Feb 10, 2011

And when you stare long into the abyss, you become aggressively, terminally chill

Fandyien posted:

i feel like that was less kneejerk and more a reasonable reading of your post and teh crying, pleading part

fair

Pimpcasso
Mar 13, 2002

VOLS BITCH
teach her about the light of islam

spud
Aug 27, 2003

by LITERALLY AN ADMIN
Post a turd through her mail box and blame it on your dog.

Sponge Baathist
Jan 30, 2010

by FactsAreUseless

JawKnee posted:

poo poo on her every night

Ahundredbux
Oct 25, 2007

The right to bear arms
break into her home and commit suicide in her bathtub that ought to show her

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Hobohemian
Sep 30, 2005

by XyloJW
I live on top of a bar that plays music you can not only hear but feel Thursday, Friday, and Saturday. I don't mind it though, I can get a cab or walk anywhere that actually matters on the weekends so it's worth the trade off. My actual neighbors next door are surprisingly quiet.

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