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Your Dead Gay Son
Jan 1, 2006

I'm Gay


I had a real normal childhood -- playing ball, training wheels, nintendo. My parents were happy and as an only child I received as much attention as I wanted. Things were great, and I was loving life. Until my Dad got a peak at my 11+ inches. I had always thought my huge cock was normal size -- I mean, what did I have to compare it too? My parents hadn't seen my cock since they bathed me when I was maybe 5 or 6 -- that is, until I fell in a lake during our annual family holiday. After I fell in, Dad pulled me out and took the motorboat back to the cabin and tossed me some fresh clothes to change into out in the front lawn so I wouldn't track water all trough the house and damage the floors. I stripped down outside and changed into the dry clothes, and when I looked up I noticed the cabin window drapes mysteriously draw to an abrupt close. I didn't think anything of it at the time, but that would mark the first time my Dad saw my 11+ inches.

Things were okay for a while. I found it odd that my Dad would often enter the bathroom while I was bathing and pull aside the shower curtain and ask me some banal question that, really, could have waited till later, but I still was very much oblivious to the fact that my 11+ inches was so much bigger than Dad's meager 5 1/2.

At dinner one night Dad threw his plate of lemon herb chicken on the floor and pointed at me with his fork, screaming: "You think you're better than me, hotshot!" And I was just plain confused. My huge cock was the only cock I had ever seen, and thus I felt it was completely normal. Well, I went to the gym with Dad one day when I was 16, and I noticed something odd in the changing room -- my 11+ inches was way bigger than these guys meager cocks. I guess I felt cool, but I really didn't think much of it.

Soon Mum got wind of my huge cock. I could feel her staring at the prominent bulge in my shorts as I walked around the house, practically drooling over my 11+ inches. One day she came into the bathroom while I was showering -- and she was naked. She opened up the shower curtain and her eyes never rose up to my face. I had been masturbating so my huge cock was at it's full 11+ inches. She said: "I'm so sorry honey, I didn't realize anybody was in here"

I said: "Uh, you didn't hear the water running?"
She didn't answer, but instead asked: "Would you like me to leave and come back later?"
I was like: "Um, yeah."

By this time, I started to understand: my parents were jealous of my huge, 11+ inch cock. Mum was jealous Dad's cock was only a meager 5 1/2 inches, and Dad wad jealous that he didn't have a huge cock like his son. Soon, my folks wouldn't even hardly talk to me. I'd ask a question like: "Where is the newspaper?" and they'd be like, "Why don't you ask your huge cock?"

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Verisimilidude
Dec 20, 2006

Strike quick and hurry at him,
rush in,
not caring to hit or
miss.
So that you dishonor him before the judges.


You having an 11 inch dick is like me owning a gun. The only use I'll get out of a gun is shooting a couple bullets at a picture of a person.

naem
May 29, 2011



9 here real post thnks

uG
Apr 23, 2003



11 + -10

Linux Pirate
Apr 21, 2012

We wanted to get machine sex porn into the hands of the average Joe, with a woman they could relate to.

my penis is 14+ inches but it is in the shape of a doughy stegosaurus so it's only really good for making dinosaur shaped prints with finger paint.

crazkylo
Dec 20, 2008

Set the world aflame!


a twelve inch pianist

Choco1980
Feb 22, 2013




Wasn't this a Family Guy episode?

Meg From Family Guy
Feb 4, 2012

by Ralp


From the floor

Benito Hitlerstalin
Nov 5, 2008

We are not so very different, you and I.


Measure it in centimeters you'll get larger numbers bro

Modern Day Hercules
Apr 26, 2008


Most chickens are that size you loving loser.

appropriatemetaphor
Jan 26, 2006



too long didn't read

Sexgun Rasputin
May 5, 2013
Probation
Can't post for 4102 days!


just a head's up i don't think this is a true story

Flesh Forge
Jan 31, 2011

LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT MY DOG BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH

giant fat cock

Benito Hitlerstalin
Nov 5, 2008

We are not so very different, you and I.


Sexgun Rasputin posted:

just a head's up i don't think this is a true story


You can't make poo poo like this up my friend

it's way too detalied. dude's obviously got a real big dingus

Benito Hitlerstalin fucked around with this message at Jul 29, 2014 around 04:38

EA Sports
Feb 10, 2007

by XyloJW


Flesh Forge posted:

giant fat cock



the girl holding it looks underage???

mods??

JawKnee
Mar 24, 2007



doubtful

Dubious
Mar 7, 2006

Don't make me Ponder this pick, Ricky

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hrtxsNCihIg

i must compose
Jul 4, 2010

What we are doing here is only the image of what we would like to do.

wish i had a big thang so i could go all uroburos

Sexgun Rasputin
May 5, 2013
Probation
Can't post for 4102 days!


Benito Hitlerstalin posted:

You can't make poo poo like this up my friend

it's way too detalied. dude's obviously got a real big dingus

he probably does have a monster dong it's the other details ring a little false to me. just a heads up

Sexgun Rasputin
May 5, 2013
Probation
Can't post for 4102 days!


everybody go google extreme docking please

Burn My Dread
Feb 23, 2007

Tear up your fear, the end is coming near, spit it out like a spear, I'll burn your dread

fwiw having a large cock is really bad because erections can make you pass out and you can't have sex with girls, just butts and dudes

so lol @ op

Sexgun Rasputin
May 5, 2013
Probation
Can't post for 4102 days!


Burn My Dread posted:

fwiw having a large cock is really bad because erections can make you pass out and you can't have sex with girls, just butts and dudes

so lol @ op

wha

butts are traditionally narrower and less receptive than ladyholes are you sure you don't mean the other thing

Bloody Hedgehog
Dec 12, 2003

Gotta' nuke something.


I've heard girls really go for a girthy cock, but mine is 11+ inches wide, and it's just not happening.

I mean, it's like a paint can. My girlfriend just calls me Sherwin Williams now.

October Revolution
Aug 18, 2010



Sexgun Rasputin posted:

everybody go google extreme docking please

I just found pictures of phones???

Mud Shark
May 12, 2012


Sexgun Rasputin posted:

wha

butts are traditionally narrower and less receptive than ladyholes are you sure you don't mean the other thing

nope it's 11x2

Trixie Hardcore
Jul 1, 2006



I don't think your parents were jealous of your 11+ inch cock, OP. 11+ inches much too long to be of any use & is essentially a handicap. Your parents probably felt a lot of guilt over your deformity & just didn't handle it well. Also, if it's not also abnormally thick then it probably looks like a tapeworm.

Your Dead Gay Son
Jan 1, 2006

I'm Gay


I'm ashamed you guys don't remember the original post

Waltzing Along
Jun 14, 2008

May your eyes be opened by the wonderful


my cock is not 11+ inches. but chicks like my cock and it doesn't cause them pain. i'm also not a freak.

Your Dead Gay Son
Jan 1, 2006

I'm Gay


Esp you trixie cause I think it was posted in 2006

Trixie Hardcore
Jul 1, 2006



Sexgun Rasputin posted:

wha

butts are traditionally narrower and less receptive than ladyholes are you sure you don't mean the other thing

butts don't have a cervix to bruise

Your Dead Gay Son
Jan 1, 2006

I'm Gay


Even after all these years, the most vivid detail of the 11+ inch cock story is dad throwing down his lemon herb chicken

uG
Apr 23, 2003



Your Dead Gay Son posted:

I'm ashamed you guys don't remember the original post

has anyone on SA 'not' made a post claiming their dilz was 11+ inches?

Necros
Jul 23, 2003



when a girl loves you your cock actually gets bigger did you know that

naem
May 29, 2011



Bloody Hedgehog posted:

I've heard girls really go for a girthy cock, but mine is 11+ inches wide, and it's just not happening.

I mean, it's like a paint can. My girlfriend just calls me Sherwin Williams now.

They call me war of the worlds because I'm a tripod

Trixie Hardcore
Jul 1, 2006



Your Dead Gay Son posted:

Esp you trixie cause I think it was posted in 2006

I know, I'm the 11+ inch cock in the OP.

Filippo Corridoni
Jun 12, 2014

I'm the fuckin' man
You don't get it, do ya?


We should all totally start a big dick crew and post pics for proof and laugh at tiny dicked goons and touch penises and have gay anal sex with each other

The Risk
Mar 6, 2014

The Russian Princess

If it is 11 inches long then you must suck your own dick.

Also, it is not ok to show your parents your erect dick...

Meg From Family Guy
Feb 4, 2012

by Ralp


uG posted:

has anyone on SA 'not' made a post claiming their dilz was 11+ inches?

That's strange, because mine actually is

Trixie Hardcore
Jul 1, 2006



My cock is 22" long but only 1" thick so I have to fold it in half in order to please women.

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Al Nipper
May 7, 2008



Any penis in excess of 0.5 inches is surprise sex. Please report yourself to the nearest cis-crimes facility for mandatory neutering.

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