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geke rowsperg
Oct 6, 2007

"Keke"


1. The old mustard trick - just apply some mustard around your cat's rectum and look at the old furball go!

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Filippo Corridoni
Jun 12, 2014

I'm the fuckin' man
You don't get it, do ya?


5

psyopmonkey
Nov 15, 2008


Indeed.

Be nice and gently pet your cat. Tell her how much you love her in a soft voice. Buy her cute cat hoodies.

Feed her Blue Mountain and rare steak bits.

Treat your cat like a princess.



Shut up dog lovers.

Yes, up.

Phil Niekro
Jun 4, 2005



a sliver of peeled ginger inserted into the anus is a quick and easy way to perk up your cat or depressed, polyamorous roommate

BeefThief
Aug 8, 2007
Probation
Can't post for 3 days!


the secret to spicing up your cat: paprika.

geke rowsperg
Oct 6, 2007

"Keke"


2. The anal fluid cannon - grab your cat from all four legs and start pumping in peoples faces! Fun times will be had.

Otacon
Aug 13, 2002



Grab some tape, rip off a 3" piece, and dip half of the tape in some Tarragon. Apply the un-Tarragoned portion of the clear tape to your cats tail. Enjoy.

psyopmonkey
Nov 15, 2008


Indeed.

If your cat is sunbathing, you should leave her be. Shes slowly recharging her adorableness battery.

Munsun
Apr 7, 2008

Real good, boss.

what does mustard on a cat's rear end in a top hat do anyways? will it run around or does it get diarrhea or turn into a dog or what

Tubgirl Cosplay
Jan 10, 2011

Drama Llama

Stop doing things to your cat's rear end in a top hat or neighbors will call the police

MOOBS!
Dec 10, 2013

malditos cerdos fascistas


orange sauce and msg. let the tray sit for a few hours in a hot water bath. enjoy!

psyopmonkey
Nov 15, 2008


Indeed.

Is your cat yawning? You should gently place your finger in her mouth mid yawn. Its a wonderful bonding moment.

MotherFuckingT-REX
Feb 8, 2011

by Lowtax


psyopmonkey posted:

Is your cat yawning? You should gently place your finger in her mouth mid yawn. Its a wonderful bonding moment.

This but with my penis, which I have written "The Patriarch" on, in sharpie.

Phil Niekro
Jun 4, 2005



cat in heat?

spray axe "arctic blast" body spray onto her until she cools down.

geke rowsperg
Oct 6, 2007

"Keke"


3. Don't feed your cat for a few days. Then when you get the chow you're ready for the sweet omnomnom youtube gold. A good idea is to mix this with #1 for maximum nomnoms.

Gorman Thomas
Jul 24, 2007


Put a lil sombrero on his head while he sleeps (which is what they're known for anyway!). If he snaps at you while you're trying to put it on, exclaim aloud "Dios mio! That's one caliente kitty!"

edit: woops misread the thread title

Decebal
Jan 6, 2010


7. try to cut it's nails with the PediPaws pet nail clipper - your cat will love you forever

Carol Pizzamom
Jul 13, 2006

a bear you feed is a bear and a steed


found a dead cat on the road yesterday. got out of my car and was all 'you dead, bro?' it was dead, so I reported it

this is NOT a way to spice up your cat

geke rowsperg
Oct 6, 2007

"Keke"


Carol Pizzamom posted:

found a dead cat on the road yesterday. got out of my car and was all 'you dead, bro?' it was dead, so I reported it

this is NOT a way to spice up your cat

you should've brought it home to spice up your cat.

QUEEN CAUCUS
Oct 26, 2004

The rodent of your dreams

Calling all crew

Rub a balloon on the carpet and stick it to your cat. It is an adorable, harmless way to spice up your cat.
It's a good way to get back at your cat after remembering all the toxo poop you have to scoop from your cat's mustard butt.

Smoking Crow
Feb 13, 2012

*laughs at you*


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r8be8pL0lhw

psyopmonkey
Nov 15, 2008


Indeed.

Give your cat a bath with hypoallergenic kitty soap. She will love being clean and all cats love swimming. If shes makes you bleed it just means that she loves you.

The Whole Internet
May 26, 2010



attach a motor to your office chair, set your cat on it, spin it up and see how fast that pussy can fly

it's a literal catapault!

MotherFuckingT-REX
Feb 8, 2011

by Lowtax


Gorman Thomas posted:

Put a lil sombrero on his head while he sleeps (which is what they're known for anyway!). If he snaps at you while you're trying to put it on, exclaim aloud "Dios mio! That's one caliente kitty!"

edit: woops misread the thread title

oh my gato!

Hobohemian
Sep 29, 2005
Nope

Have you tried rolling down the street, smoking indo; sipping on gin an' juice?

Munsun
Apr 7, 2008

Real good, boss.


newsflash those are cartoons not cats

Smoking Crow
Feb 13, 2012

*laughs at you*


Munsun posted:

newsflash those are cartoons not cats

psyopmonkey
Nov 15, 2008


Indeed.


poo poo tyrell. Get your stuff together.

Dubious
Mar 7, 2006

Don't make me Ponder this pick, Ricky

feed it boogers

geke rowsperg
Oct 6, 2007

"Keke"


dress up your cat as an anime and make it fart. bask in the anime cat farts.

Irradiation
Sep 14, 2005



Munsun posted:

newsflash those are cartoons not cats

~nya ~nya

Baronjutter
Dec 31, 2007

...the engine tracks thousands of details for each unit meaning it will be a far deeper game than your grandpa's chess.
Pre-order CHESS now and receive the DLC "queen" unit.

When I was in elementary school "that one hosed up kid" stuck a bottle of some sort of spicy sauce on his cats butt and the cat flipped the gently caress out and ran all over and started making GBS threads everywhere and licking its butt and generally being miserable. The cat was spiced up for sure but I'm on the fence of this was a good route to take.

Hector Beerlioz
Jun 16, 2010


1gnoirents
Jun 28, 2014


psyopmonkey posted:

Is your cat yawning? You should gently place your finger in her mouth mid yawn. Its a wonderful bonding moment.

ive done this a lot its hilarious and for whatever reason thats the only time a cat isnt insanely pissed off with your finger in its mouth. I mean for about 5 seconds then it will grab your hand with both arms and squeeze it to its face and go HUFFFFFFFFfffff and attempt to sleep for another 5 seconds

Munsun
Apr 7, 2008

Real good, boss.


update: cartoon cats are baller

scalded schlong
Sep 20, 2003



try stamping precisely yet firmly on the base of your cats neck

Stoic Commie
Aug 29, 2005

G's up
Hoes down



lol @ the anamay av

psyopmonkey
Nov 15, 2008


Indeed.

scalded schlong posted:

try stamping precisely yet firmly on the base of your cats neck

This is only allowed while wearing high heels and being an Asian woman.

VikingSkull
Jul 23, 2008

Free pats on the back
Inquire within


I like cats because they kill things for sport

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Wendigee
Jul 19, 2004



I spice my cat up by open the garage door a crack and letting them go and play in the garage, play with spiders, chase moths, get some fresh air.

Also I spice em up real good with a spray bottle full of water if they scratch my couch!

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