- i am he
-
|
The food? Sucks, fuckin sucks. I'm sick of these fancy try hard bullshit meals (capers? seriously?). What happened to hamburger helper??
|
#
¿
Jul 30, 2014 21:59
|
|
- Adbot
-
ADBOT LOVES YOU
|
|
|
#
¿
Apr 18, 2024 19:31
|
|
- i am he
-
|
As it turns out, there is golf in heaven, but its still boring as gently caress !!
|
|
#
¿
Jul 30, 2014 22:00
|
|
- i am he
-
|
I've heard that in hell, they get to listen to metal, while I'm stuck with this Jimmy Buffet bullshit 24/7.
|
|
#
¿
Jul 30, 2014 22:01
|
|
- i am he
-
|
They also have all the drugs, booze and sex.
Oh, we have plenty of that here in heaven. But, we only have cocaine, IPAs, and reverse cowgirl sex.
|
|
#
¿
Jul 30, 2014 22:11
|
|
- i am he
-
|
Everyone here is very smart, because we're forced to play Lumosity every day.
|
|
#
¿
Jul 30, 2014 22:14
|
|
- i am he
-
|
God is malevolent, that's why he lets so many people into heaven, because he wants them to only be able eat organic food, and not be able to play foosball with their friends.
|
|
#
¿
Jul 30, 2014 22:28
|
|
- i am he
-
|
jesus [overly enthusiastically]: Hey buddy! What a nice day huh? Man its a good day to be alive!
me: uh huh, ya, its sure nice. same as yesterday pretty much, *nervous laugh*
jesus: HA! Looks like somebody's gotta case of the WEDNESDAYS!
me: shut the gently caress up!!
|
|
#
¿
Jul 30, 2014 22:50
|
|
- i am he
-
|
they have pizza here, at least, but its the california kitchen bullshit. gimme the red baron french bread pizza any day over this hippie crap.
|
|
#
¿
Jul 31, 2014 00:51
|
|
- Adbot
-
ADBOT LOVES YOU
|
|
|
#
¿
Apr 18, 2024 19:31
|
|
- i am he
-
|
Everyone is given a car in heaven, which is nice. But they're the solid, dependable kind, like a Toyota, and you aren't allowed to install any body-mods on them.
|
|
#
¿
Jul 31, 2014 01:07
|
|
#
¿
Jul 30, 2014 21:59
