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Chris Awful
Oct 2, 2005

Tell your friends they don't have to be scared or hungry anymore comrades.


So I was repairing a cart from the production end of the bakery the other day. When I flipped the cart over, there was the most foul substance on the bottom. Upon further inspection, the substance look and smelled like poo poo. There was poo poo on the cart and on my hand and all over my tools. I gagged all the while, but fixed the damned cart.


What is the grossest job/task you've had to deal with?

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Tubgirl Cosplay
Jan 10, 2011

by Ion Helmet


What bakery do you work for?

No reason

maker
Jun 1, 2010


making you

Uncle at Nintendo
Dec 31, 2000



You're posts

Chris Awful
Oct 2, 2005

Tell your friends they don't have to be scared or hungry anymore comrades.


Tubgirl Cosplay posted:

What bakery do you work for?

No reason

Sorry, but I like my dirty job.

king salmon
Oct 30, 2011



my dog licks my face sometimes after licking her butthole

Noblesse Obliged
Apr 7, 2012

damn dirty ape


i worked for a grocery store and one day had to clean out the sink area near the dairy fridges out back.

it had been a depository for expired milk for weeks until that point.

breathing through my mouth only made me taste the rancid cheese, butter, crates of milk. also for some reason someone threw a carton of old orange juice in.

the disgust turned into a kind of manic anger after a while. i rambled at the squirming maggots covering my shoes as i dragged cartons across the floor to the dumpsters.

i remember vividly feeling them between the cuff of my steel toes and my socks. wiggling deeper. squelching after a while against my ankle and oozing down under my heel.

the real gross part was really when i began dumping gallon after gallon of ammonia cleaner around. all those smells just clinging to my nose.

my eyes were watering like crazy which was good because i think a film had formed. i swear i saw wiggling even when i closed my eyes

Steampunk iPhone
Sep 2, 2009


Chris Awful posted:

Sorry, but I like my dirty job.

why was there poop on the cart

rootphreak
May 16, 2008

HO HO HO
SPREAD EM FOR SANTA


Haha I got you!

rootphreak's poop: 1

now watch this log come out, I call it the baker's dozen

naem
May 29, 2011



I worked for a summer before college at a factory that made potato and pasta salad in huge amounts, once saw a one ton industrial tub of mayonnaise that had gone bad. Someone pulled the huge plastic lid off and it was a big wobbly sea of green fuzz.

mazzi Chart Czar
Sep 24, 2005

Holy
Fuck


I had to bury a dead rabbit with ants coming out of its eye balls.

]


Tuxedo Gin
May 20, 2003

Classy.

Woman miscarried on the swinging pirate ship ride at the amusement park I worked at. It was gross.

She didn't even stick around or get medical attention. Just got up and left. The kid working the ride called and said "there's lumpy blood all over one of the seats what do I do?"

Harald
Jul 9, 2009

LINKIN PARK

ENSENDA CURES MAIL posted:

my dog licks my face sometimes after licking her butthole
your poor dog

Subliminal Sauce
Apr 6, 2010

Spreading freedom and spreading it thick; that's just a thing us right-wing nutjobs do!


I worked many 'a kitchen in my day, seen all matter of stuff, but the grosseset was working Audio Visual tech at a hotel:

*Had to load slide trays at a homicide detective convention. Real crusty dudes and slides of murder scenes

*Babysitting slide projector for a doctor conference of advanced VD pics, at 7am with hangover

*Most gaggy was running sound for some hotshot gyno-pussy doc with 2000 pussypouting women in the auditorium. Olfactory overload of sweaty stinkyhole...

Fandyien
Feb 10, 2012

Delicious


when i worked at CVS an old lady took a poo poo on the floor

Haverchuck
May 6, 2005

the coolest

I worked at a large liquor store that had a public bathroom for some reason and there were all kinds of poo poo related incidents, the best of which was a very old man making GBS threads all over the bathroom and then emerging nude from the waist down and covered in his own poo poo, walking around the sales floor

lonesomedwarf
Mar 22, 2010



once i pooped in the toilet and before i closed the lid to flush i saw it

ANAmal.net
Mar 2, 2002


100% digital native web developer


Haverchuck posted:

I worked at a large liquor store that had a public bathroom for some reason and there were all kinds of poo poo related incidents, the best of which was a very old man making GBS threads all over the bathroom and then emerging nude from the waist down and covered in his own poo poo, walking around the sales floor

lmao this dude owns real hard

Verisimilidude
Dec 20, 2006

Strike quick and hurry at him,
rush in,
not caring to hit or
miss.
So that you dishonor him before the judges.


I worked at a nerd store that sold warhammer, dungeons and dragons and a bunch of other insanely dorky poo poo. The worst I've ever had to do was sit through a 24+ hour dungeons and dragons marathon where one lady in particular refused to get up from her seat so everyone had to change tables according to where she was. She had a cardboard box next to her full of popcorn and chips and other poo poo, and she slowly began to accumulate a ring of fallen food around her fat sweaty body and chair. When she finally stood up, it was like moving a car after a snowstorm; just a vaguely butt-shaped clearing surrounded by a field of crumbs.

The bathroom was also constantly hosed up by insanely huge asses and terrible dumps. The manager had to install a vent into the bathroom specifically because some of the regulars would take such a smelly poo poo that the entire store would reek.

Ghaz
Nov 19, 2004



Verisimilidude posted:

I worked at a nerd store that sold warhammer, dungeons and dragons and a bunch of other insanely dorky poo poo. The worst I've ever had to do was sit through a 24+ hour dungeons and dragons marathon where one lady in particular refused to get up from her seat so everyone had to change tables according to where she was. She had a cardboard box next to her full of popcorn and chips and other poo poo, and she slowly began to accumulate a ring of fallen food around her fat sweaty body and chair. When she finally stood up, it was like moving a car after a snowstorm; just a vaguely butt-shaped clearing surrounded by a field of crumbs.

The bathroom was also constantly hosed up by insanely huge asses and terrible dumps. The manager had to install a vent into the bathroom specifically because some of the regulars would take such a smelly poo poo that the entire store would reek.

why do the basements of stores like that always reek of cheetos and bo

revmoo
May 25, 2006

Reverend Moo

Used to work as a restaurant computer field tech and I ran into some disgusting poo poo. One of the companies I serviced was Frischs and their entire kitchens are gross as hell. It was a regular, common fix to take apart the kitchen 'bump bars', clean out all the grease, and then wrap the circuitry in saran wrap before re-assembling them. It would usually buy a year or two of time before they'd fail and need to be replaced. Somehow mayo gets EVERYWHERE in those kitchens. It was absolutely disgusting. Frischs and Hardees are the only two restaurants that I serviced that I will now and forever refuse to eat at due to their kitchen conditions. Walking through the door of a Hardees, I'd note an 'A' health rating and then go back into the _office_ and have to pry their computer off of the desk with a pry bar while roaches streamed out. This was not unique to individual locations either. I'd often have to wrap up computer hardware in a trash bag before putting it in my trunk because of the biohazards involved.

Did a lot of Applebees (which I personally hate), and they had the typical 'bar gunk' everywhere but at least their kitchens were serviceable. Also did Steak n Shake and their kitchens are drat near spotless. Just stay away from Frischs and Hardees.

1gnoirents
Jun 28, 2014


gross? im not sure

unpleasant I can give you a few

Haverchuck
May 6, 2005

the coolest

Ghaz posted:

why do the basements of stores like that always reek of cheetos and bo

so you've been in enough nerd hobby store basements to compile a good sample size?

mookface
Jun 7, 2009

my car blew up today


I'm a sheet metal mechanic and we were doing repairs on the material handling systems in a rendering plant. Miles upon miles of of blowpipe in which chicken guts and other animal junk are flown through on their way to be converted into whatever. They were supposedly flushed out but you wouldn't know it because you'd go to take off an elbow and rotting viscera would ooze out. The smell was awful. I didn't bring a lunch for the two months I was there and we were doing 12 hour days

Rambling Robot
Sep 13, 2011

The Master's Art is indeed not made for plebeians.


i once had to shovel loads of goat poo poo. some of it was full of maggots.

VendaGoat
Nov 1, 2005

When only the very best Goat will do


Rambling Robot posted:

i once had to shovel loads of goat poo poo. some of it was full of maggots.

Get back to work.

Rambling Robot
Sep 13, 2011

The Master's Art is indeed not made for plebeians.


VendaGoat posted:

Get back to work.

Sorry Goatman. Next time use the toilet.

Haverchuck
May 6, 2005

the coolest

mookface posted:

I'm a sheet metal mechanic and we were doing repairs on the material handling systems in a rendering plant. Miles upon miles of of blowpipe in which chicken guts and other animal junk are flown through on their way to be converted into whatever. They were supposedly flushed out but you wouldn't know it because you'd go to take off an elbow and rotting viscera would ooze out. The smell was awful. I didn't bring a lunch for the two months I was there and we were doing 12 hour days

Erethizon_dorsatum
Nov 14, 2009


You poor bastards with the maggot stories. I would rather wade waist deep through a swimming pool of roaches than deal with those loving things.

amityville anus
Jan 30, 2010


I accidentally ate half of a knockoff swiss roll from mexico that was full of maggots. I thought they were coconut flakes at first. I'll admit I was shocked but since then I'll sometimes buy that brand just to see if I can find another to eat.

e: the maggots were smaller than ones seen in a fresh squirrel skull

amityville anus fucked around with this message at Jul 31, 2014 around 20:39

Tubgirl Cosplay
Jan 10, 2011

by Ion Helmet


Yeah for some reason maggot flavor is so hard to get in this country.

Internet Kraken
Apr 24, 2010

slightly amused


Erethizon_dorsatum posted:

You poor bastards with the maggot stories. I would rather wade waist deep through a swimming pool of roaches than deal with those loving things.

Aw, don't hate maggots. I mean look how goofy they are up close;



Its got real life googly eyes.

amityville anus
Jan 30, 2010


they need to relax some rules because maggots made the otherwise flat pastry have some pop and wriggle to it like a club soda cake

Carnival of Shrews
Mar 27, 2013


Erethizon_dorsatum posted:

You poor bastards with the maggot stories. I would rather wade waist deep through a swimming pool of roaches than deal with those loving things.

I once had to help clear out the bungalow of a nice (but deceased) person who had owned a cat. The person had - sorry to disappoint - not been left to moulder for weeks after their death, but no-one had thought about the cat. Or, indeed, the catflap.

That cat that was an excellent hunter, and had stowed assorted dead mice and birds under furniture all over the place, for what seemed, to a crude non-forensic appraisal, to be about 18 months. Unfortunately, the house was carpeted in luscious acrylic loop pile thoughout, and the maggots from the most recent catches had sort of squiggled their way into the weave and had to be pursued with tweezers.

Although almost blind, those things are surprisingly fast and have great reflexes. It was pretty good fun at first, but eventually I got bored, sprayed the little bastards with meths from a refilled bottle of Windolene, and left the room for 10 minutes.

big dig
Sep 11, 2001

Cowboys > Ninjas

I was at a non-food grade rendering plant doing an inspection of the sprinkler system above the hammer mill. This mill takes dead farm animals, road kill and zoo animals as well as waste streams from a nearby pork slaughter house and blends them all together with hot water to form a slurry before it is sent to cooking.

As I was looking up, a large gob of ceiling goo fell down and went all over my face. And some went in my mouth.

Erethizon_dorsatum
Nov 14, 2009


Carnival of Shrews posted:

I once had to help clear out the bungalow of a nice (but deceased) person who had owned a cat. The person had - sorry to disappoint - not been left to moulder for weeks after their death, but no-one had thought about the cat. Or, indeed, the catflap.

That cat that was an excellent hunter, and had stowed assorted dead mice and birds under furniture all over the place, for what seemed, to a crude non-forensic appraisal, to be about 18 months. Unfortunately, the house was carpeted in luscious acrylic loop pile thoughout, and the maggots from the most recent catches had sort of squiggled their way into the weave and had to be pursued with tweezers.

Although almost blind, those things are surprisingly fast and have great reflexes. It was pretty good fun at first, but eventually I got bored, sprayed the little bastards with meths from a refilled bottle of Windolene, and left the room for 10 minutes.

Jesus loving Christ

Seriously, I don't know what it is about maggots but I can't stand them. Snakes, spiders, rats, mice, roaches, ants... I can roll with it. Actually I like snakes and rodents. But maggots send me into convulsions of disgust. I try to deal by reminding myself that they are part of nature's clean up crew and help remove decomposing organic matter.

Erethizon_dorsatum fucked around with this message at Jul 31, 2014 around 21:17

Carnival of Shrews
Mar 27, 2013


Erethizon_dorsatum posted:

Jesus loving Christ

Seriously, I don't know what it is about maggots but I can't stand them. Snakes, spiders, rats, mice, roaches, ants... I can roll with it. Actually I like snakes and rodents. But maggots send me into convulsions of disgust. I try to deal by reminding myself that they are part of nature's clean up crew and help remove decomposing organic matter.

Once unleashed, the pure monkey impulse to hunt and catch parasites with one's fingers is disturbingly gratifying. It seems to be drilled deep into the brain; people under the influence of various stimulant drugs will pursue imaginary parasites until they bleed.

I have little doubt that this has contributed to the success of the primates after all, most other animals don't have anything as handy as hands. But it's still impressively gross. When a friend loaned me a copy of Feynman's 'The Pleasure of Finding Things Out', my first thought was that it should have a companion volume, 'The Horror of Finding Things Out'. Biology is mostly like that; physics is usually not.

Personally, I do not like leeches very much.

When I was bitten by a good patriotic British leech, I screamed like a child (only when I saw it, the bite doesn't hurt) and implored people to bring lighters, petrol, salt, or swift merciful death, even though I knew you shouldn't use petrol or salt as it makes leeches regurgitate. I was cavalier about leeches because actually most of them are predators, vegetarians, or recognise only cold-blooded creatures as food, so when I swilled about in stagnant water for the hundredth time, I wasn't expecting a bite.

My delighted colleagues told me that that it was a privilege to be parasitised by anything as rare as the medicinal leech, took photographs, and bribed me with the promise of beer until the the hungry annelid dropped off me and we could carry it back alive to the lab and analyse its genetics (to be fair, European leeches amazingly don't carry any known serious diseases). Further scrutiny suggested that the assailant wasn't even the aristocratic doctor's leech Hirudo medicinalis, but a proletarian called Hirudo verbana. We were hoping to contribute to the discovery of amazing new anti-coagulants, but someone had already worked out that the various imposters were operating under the banner of Hirudo medicinalis, so I fed a blood-sucking worm for nothing, a martyr to science.

Gentwise
Sep 12, 2003
Gentwise Bankfourthe, Esquire.

Erethizon_dorsatum posted:

You poor bastards with the maggot stories. I would rather wade waist deep through a swimming pool of roaches than deal with those loving things.

One time a coworker brought a leftover bucket of fried chicken to work and told us to dig in. This being before we knew of said coworker's disgusting living conditions and filthy home, we all grabbed some chicken and started to feast. I noticed about halfway through my second piece that something in the chicken was moving. Upon closer inspection it was a nice juicy writhing maggot. I threw my drummie down in revulsion as I realized it was full of the lil' wrigglers. Then I tried to puke but couldn't so I took a few shots of hot sauce in an attempt to kill them.

Hope y'all liked my maggot story!!!

Gentwise fucked around with this message at Aug 1, 2014 around 00:56

Plastic Megaphone
Aug 11, 2007
No more credit from the liquor store.

I once interviewed a Vietnam POW who works out his experiences by painting horrifying abstract images and calling them self portraits. He told me how, during his captivity, his teeth and gums were rotting so he just took a rock and scraped it all out, down to the bone. That was pretty gross.

Then he invited my photographer and I to go down into his basement, and there were points where we wondered whether we were ever going to get out alive, but it turned out he just wanted to give us some of his paintings for free. Nice guy.

Edit: The paintings weren't very good.

Plastic Megaphone fucked around with this message at Aug 1, 2014 around 07:46

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Stoic Commie
Aug 29, 2005

G's up
Hoes down


grubs taste like bacon. a little sriracha? boy you got yourself a treat

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