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I'm beginning to suspect my roommate is a massive goon who is also a massive pothead. I submit the following evidence: EXHIBIT A: PERSONALITY My roommate fits the typical "lol what a goon" stereotype. He's overweight (doughy but not obese), unclean, and socially awkward. So socially awkward that he gets visibly nervous when I say hello to him. His voice warbles in pitch, making him sound like something off a 90-year old Dictaphone. He also giggles like Mickey Doyle in Boardwalk Empire. Since he either can't, won't, or doesn't know how to cook, he subsists almost entirely on Taco Bell and Domino's, which means he destroys the toilet utterly every day. As a consequence, he goes through about two rolls of toilet paper a week (which is astonishing to me), but when he is finished with a roll, he leaves the cardboard tube on the roller and merely stacks a fresh roll on top of it. I've never seen or noticed him cleaning anything, yet he is curiously neat about not taking out the trash. When the bin gets full, he will get out a new bag, place it next to the still full can, place a pizza box in the bottom so it has a nice base, and then begin to fill the new bag. He is lazy, QED, but also only in ways that make it really obvious that he's trying hard to be lazy. It's the "full circle" school of laziness. In an effort to be lazy, he performs so many actions to avoid doing work, that he probably could have done things the right way, thereby making his laziness even more profound. Wardrobe: t-shirts, and jeans or cargo shorts, with flipflops. The only thing conspicuously absent from the traditional goon uniform is the fedora. EXHIBIT B: WEED KING My roommate recently became a resident of California, and like most people I've met who move here from out of state, immediately obtained his medical marijuana card. To this, I say, more power to him. I don't partake (I get drug tested all the time and I'm not curious enough to risk losing my job), and maybe for that reason, it makes it really evident to me that he is getting high literally as often as possible. Like, the complex is gonna have to strip the paint and change the carpet when he moves out. I always tell him that our shared hallway smells like ODB's Escalade, which usually summons that Mickey Doyle giggle. His routine is basically to get home from work, go into his room, spark up for a few hours, then walk down the street to Taco Bell, come back, and resume smoking. I think he gets high to numb the pain of his job; he works in an editing house which cuts together trailers for porn movies of all varieties. Needless to say, he's seen some serious poo poo. At least this means we occasionally get some free swag. I think there's a kink.com chip clip around here somewhere. EXHIBIT C: IDLE TIME This guy spends all day at work on a computer and then comes back home and spends all night on a computer. I've never seen him bring a friend over. I've never seen him in the living room watching TV, or going outside for a walk that isn't straight to Taco Bell and back, or anything. He doesn't go out and socialize, that I've seen. My other roommate and I convinced him to come to the neighborhood bar with us once, and he's basically one of those comic relief drunks. The guy who doesn't really do anything cool or funny, but gets shitfaced immediately, and proceeds to run into everything and say dumb poo poo to people. He's like those movie-drunk caricatures, who aren't actually supposed to exist in real life. Yet, here we are. CONCLUSION The dude a goon, yo. Which one of you is it?
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# ? Jul 31, 2014 02:12 |
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# ? Apr 18, 2024 13:24 |
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tl;dr, but just open his door and make sure he isnt decomposing ffs
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# ? Jul 31, 2014 02:13 |
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I'm the Weed King and any claim you put forth to my titles will result in war OP
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# ? Jul 31, 2014 02:13 |
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sounds like an okay dude tbh
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# ? Jul 31, 2014 02:13 |
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lso he probably doesn't post in tcc unless he snorts heroin with his urethra
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# ? Jul 31, 2014 02:14 |
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I'm sorry you're having issues with your boyfriend.
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# ? Jul 31, 2014 02:15 |
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wWeed is a CRIME.
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# ? Jul 31, 2014 02:16 |
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im the roommate in the op
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# ? Jul 31, 2014 02:18 |
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Are you sure the roommate isn't an extension of yourself? I'm going to be pissed if we get to like page five and the OP realizes he was the roommate all along.
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# ? Jul 31, 2014 02:20 |
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The Casualty posted:EXHIBIT B: WEED KING weed lord*
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# ? Jul 31, 2014 02:20 |
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Fandyien posted:sounds like an okay dude tbh yeah im not quite sure what the problem is here
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# ? Jul 31, 2014 02:20 |
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also lol *weed smell ruined the house* yeah ok there mr square, why don't you put your fedora on and take a walk
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# ? Jul 31, 2014 02:21 |
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when are goons gonna realize the single gooniest thing you can do is make extensive posts judging the gooniness of others?
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# ? Jul 31, 2014 02:22 |
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This is just an e/n thread. the op is the roommate. a cry for help. you dumb fatass. get some exercise and stop smoking.
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# ? Jul 31, 2014 02:23 |
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FuriousGeorge posted:when are goons gonna realize the single gooniest thing you can do is make extensive posts judging the gooniness of others? ill communicate this to the goon hive mind, one sec
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# ? Jul 31, 2014 02:24 |
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THS posted:im the roommate in the op me too
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# ? Jul 31, 2014 02:24 |
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kill you're roommat
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# ? Jul 31, 2014 02:26 |
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imagine having a roommate whos never gotten high and every time u smoke weed he calls u the 'weed king' and makes the same ODB joke
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# ? Jul 31, 2014 02:26 |
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weed and porn (and mountains) are the only things worth living in california for anyway
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# ? Jul 31, 2014 02:26 |
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gagelion posted:imagine having a roommate whos never gotten high and every time u smoke weed he calls u the 'weed king' and makes the same ODB joke a thread about that guy would be much more entertaining tbh. which is why we have it in gbs already: http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3610276
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# ? Jul 31, 2014 02:27 |
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wilfredmerriweathr posted:also lol *weed smell ruined the house* yeah ok there mr square, why don't you put your fedora on and take a walk you sound p uptight op. maybe try a lil of his weed right after yr next test and you too can just chill yrselves together
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# ? Jul 31, 2014 02:28 |
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Fandyien posted:lso he probably doesn't post in tcc unless he snorts heroin with his urethra Protip: Weedthread is the only part of TCC that doesn't involve injecting narcotics into one's peehole.
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# ? Jul 31, 2014 02:31 |
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memy posted:me too No I am the Weed Lord!
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# ? Jul 31, 2014 02:33 |
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The Weed Throne is in crisis, claimants are coming forth from all across the land. The realm is experiencing succession wars!
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# ? Jul 31, 2014 02:34 |
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i wish gbs had a weed crew, but every time someone tries, everyone who posts in the thread forgets about it too quickly.
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# ? Jul 31, 2014 02:34 |
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wilfredmerriweathr posted:also lol *weed smell ruined the house* yeah ok there mr square, why don't you put your fedora on and take a walk whoa... ops loving a lame lord
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# ? Jul 31, 2014 02:48 |
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gagelion posted:imagine having a roommate whos never gotten high and every time u smoke weed he calls u the 'weed king' and makes the same ODB joke Lol
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# ? Jul 31, 2014 02:49 |
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if I had a roommate id want it to be the weed king
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# ? Jul 31, 2014 02:51 |
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i mean it sounds like your roommate always has weed on deck OP and no social life means no annoying friends coming over or poo poo like that best roommate ever imo
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# ? Jul 31, 2014 02:52 |
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I thought y'all on the west coast had Del Taco, not Taco Bell.
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# ? Jul 31, 2014 03:02 |
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Hector Beerlioz posted:I thought y'all on the west coast had Del Taco, not Taco Bell. both living the life
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# ? Jul 31, 2014 03:03 |
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whats del taco like
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# ? Jul 31, 2014 03:03 |
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Moridin920 posted:both gently caress. i'm legit jealous. I've never had Del Taco but I've been told it's p good
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# ? Jul 31, 2014 03:04 |
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it's me, i'm the one who pays part of your electric bill and poops in your toilet
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# ? Jul 31, 2014 03:04 |
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i hope its not better than taco bell because i would be sad if there was a better taco bell out there & i wasnt eating at it
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# ? Jul 31, 2014 03:04 |
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People I've met seem to either really like Taco Bell and hate Del Taco, or vice versa. Idk they're both good in their own Mexican fast food way, but really it's inconsequential because there's lots of Mexicans here with taco shops and those are pretty much always better anyway.
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# ? Jul 31, 2014 03:05 |
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tl:dr suck his cock already. any post longer than 3 sentences means you = gay for him
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# ? Jul 31, 2014 03:05 |
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but whats the difference? obviously i'm intimately familiar with taco bell so the idea of another fast food taco intrigues me
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# ? Jul 31, 2014 03:06 |
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Fandyien posted:but whats the difference? obviously i'm intimately familiar with taco bell so the idea of another fast food taco intrigues me I am curious as well.
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# ? Jul 31, 2014 03:06 |
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# ? Apr 18, 2024 13:24 |
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Moridin920 posted:People I've met seem to either really like Taco Bell and hate Del Taco, or vice versa. Idk they're both good in their own Mexican fast food way, but really it's inconsequential because there's lots of Mexicans here with taco shops and those are pretty much always better anyway. taco bell isnt about eating mexican food, its about taco bell i'm a spic & if i want latin food i'll cook it myself
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# ? Jul 31, 2014 03:08 |