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DUNCAN DONUTS
Mar 27, 2010

by XyloJW


You loving suck. You taste like horse piss. I'll make you swim with candiru. I'll punch you to Uranus. You SUCK real bad! You're a loving rip-off joke. Everybody hates you. You're poo poo. You're loving poo poo. gently caress you. gently caress YOU!

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give me thread
Dec 29, 2008


Also it's like twice as expensive as proper cafes. Dumb idiots go to Starbucks.

Spanish Manlove
Aug 31, 2008

LAMIERDAROJA



cool gimmick account dude

Harime Nui
Apr 15, 2008

I go where I wanna go and nobody stops me!


It's p. bad

newreply.php
Dec 24, 2009



starbucks has no choice but to have terrible ashy tasting coffee bc thats the only way to make their poo poo taste "like home" year-round, world-round: roasted to poo poo, erasing all differences between locations/growers/time of harvest

its not as if their customers care bc they add syrup and cream until theres only a suggestion of the taste of coffee left

Burn My Dread
Feb 23, 2007

Tear up your fear, the end is coming near, spit it out like a spear, I'll burn your dread

lol if you go to starbucks for coffee

Gaunab
Feb 13, 2012


dumb starbucks

Professor Shark
May 22, 2012



I remember the first time I had a Starbucks I was excited because I thought it was going to be a really great high quality drink since it cost twice as much as Tim Hortons and all kinds of professionals in suits were in the shop.

It tasted like someone had used twice as much coffee grind necessary and then put an entire cigarettes worth of ash in the cup. I didn't finish it, and the only other time I've had one was when I was stranded in an airport for hours due to weather conditions, and I don't think I finished that one either.

Haverchuck
May 6, 2005

the coolest

DUNCAN DONUTS posted:

You loving suck. You taste like horse piss. I'll make you swim with candiru. I'll punch you to Uranus. You SUCK real bad! You're a loving rip-off joke. Everybody hates you. You're poo poo. You're loving poo poo. gently caress you. gently caress YOU!

so are you referencing wesley willis here or is this post just a symptom of the same mental problem willis had

Verisimilidude
Dec 20, 2006

Strike quick and hurry at him,
rush in,
not caring to hit or
miss.
So that you dishonor him before the judges.


I thought that's what proper coffee tasted like until I started brewing my own. Heck, the Cafe Bustelo my grandma brews is infinitely better than Starbucks, and it's like $3 for a pound of fine ground coffee.

I had nesCafe for the first time recently and it was better than Starbucks.

Basically stop spending 20 minutes in line at a Starbucks and brew your own drat coffee at home you nerds.

edit: sippin' on some freshly ground Dutch blend right now. Mmmmmm, that's smooth.

ElectricSheep
Jan 14, 2006


i prefer my coffee to be directly sourced from the Andes, grown by a 68-year-old Guatemalan with webbed feet and harvested by a kidnapped 8-year-old Peruvian boy. fair trade of course, i pay exactly one ferret per twelve ounces of coffee which has been roasted during the most recent quarter-moon phase in a former cremation oven. i grind the beans using the fossilized bones of an ankylosaur in a mortar made from rocks collected from Madagascar. then i brew them for exactly 5 minutes (timed by atomic clock) in a french press manufactured by actual french people.

good coffee

PlantRobot
Feb 13, 2010


on a hot day the thing that is essentially a coffee slurpee is good

Gypsum Fantastic
Aug 8, 2012



DUNCAN DONUTS posted:

You loving suck. You taste like horse piss. I'll make you swim with candiru. I'll punch you to Uranus. You SUCK real bad! You're a loving rip-off joke. Everybody hates you. You're poo poo. You're loving poo poo. gently caress you. gently caress YOU!

Same and yet at the same time I love you with all my heart and will continue to consume you. Its the junkies dilemma.

1gnoirents
Jun 28, 2014
Probation
Can't post for 4 days!


im drinking coffee thats just as yummy as starbucks and it costs 50 cents and its instant



i dont mean like "just as good especially since its 8 times cheaper" i mean literally just as good or better and im no starbucks h8er (flavor wise)

im drinking this right now in real time

RedTeam
Feb 5, 2011

SHAZAM!


lol when some politician talked about starbucks having to pay more tax in the UK and everyone was all 'oh no not tax what if they leave' as if that is anything but a good thing. As if there aren't a million independent coffee houses who are willing to jump in and give people better coffee at half the price.

Trixie Hardcore
Jul 1, 2006



Hahaha look at all these kindergarten babies who don't start every morning with a piping hot mug full of their own urine. Enjoy your coffee argument, you disgusting plebs.

Verisimilidude
Dec 20, 2006

Strike quick and hurry at him,
rush in,
not caring to hit or
miss.
So that you dishonor him before the judges.


RedTeam posted:

lol when some politician talked about starbucks having to pay more tax in the UK and everyone was all 'oh no not tax what if they leave' as if that is anything but a good thing. As if there aren't a million independent coffee houses who are willing to jump in and give people better coffee at half the price.

There is absolutely no shortage of coffee shops or people willing to open coffee shops considering coffee beans bought in bulk are ridiculously cheap.

script kitty
Jan 2, 2005

GOTTA GO CATTES

Trixie Hardcore posted:

Hahaha look at all these kindergarten babies who don't start every morning with a piping hot mug full of their own urine. Enjoy your coffee argument, you disgusting plebs.

look at this mong who never had actual coffee before

Trixie Hardcore
Jul 1, 2006



script kitty posted:

look at this mong who never had actual coffee before

Actually, *adjusts cravat* I've tried all coffees and they are all inferior to my downtown drip brew, if you know what I mean.

Phil Niekro
Jun 4, 2005



your body has everything you need in the morning, you just have to curl in a ball and let it dribble into your mouth

Your Rain
Nov 29, 2006
All those born beneath an angry star.

All coffee are the same anyone saying otherwise is just splitting hairs and trying to be a hipster

MisterFister
Jul 6, 2003

Sticking it to THE MAN, assuming THE MAN is an innocent casual dining restaurant.


Mcdonalds coffee if you get it fresh is better than loving starbucks.

Morally Inept
Mar 5, 2012

by XyloJW


We have this place called Yum Yum donuts and their coffee is so much better than Starshits.

BigBoss
Jan 26, 2012


Starbucks coffee is too strong. "Hey, let's just bowl them over with taste and maybe they'll notice it isn't a GOOD taste!"

Phil Niekro
Jun 4, 2005



put a little urine on a washcloth for cleaning your face and pits and the rest goes in a travel mug. this poo poo aint rocket science!

Haverchuck
May 6, 2005

the coolest

MisterFister posted:

Mcdonalds coffee if you get it fresh is better than loving starbucks.

dont go to mcdonalds dude

Trixie Hardcore
Jul 1, 2006



Morally Inept posted:

We have this place called Yum Yum donuts and their coffee is so much better than Starshits.

Starshits isn't a very good name for a coffee franchise imho

Phil Niekro
Jun 4, 2005



Morally Inept posted:

We have this place called Yum Yum donuts and their coffee is so much better than Starshits.

hey are you the dog fucker?

a worthy uhh
Dec 28, 2006



lol if you don't import your own green coffee from third world countries and roast/grind/brew yourself

GiantAmazonianOtter
Apr 4, 2007
I encourage children who are bullied to kill themselves. In fact, I get off to it. Pedophilia-snuff films are the best. More abused children need to kill themselves.

Starbucks is for people who don't know what coffee should taste like and are willing to pay three times as much as they should for the privilege.

Trixie Hardcore
Jul 1, 2006



a worthy uhh posted:

lol if you don't import your own green coffee from third world countries and roast/grind/brew yourself

lol if you don't import your own green third world workforce to grow/harvest/roast/grind/brew for you.

a worthy uhh
Dec 28, 2006



Trixie Hardcore posted:

lol if you don't import your own green third world workforce to grow/harvest/roast/grind/brew for you.

you can't grow coffee in #1 USA AMERICA FIRST WORLD, idiot

Trixie Hardcore
Jul 1, 2006



a worthy uhh posted:

you can't grow coffee in #1 USA AMERICA FIRST WORLD, idiot

lol if you don't have a slave labor barge in international waters

CCrew
Nov 5, 2007
Rawr

I am not a coffee aficionado, I just drink kuerig stuff. I am interested in trying better coffee though, where is a good place to start? I don't know enough to know why Starbucks is bad, I've just accepted its mostly syrup flavor with a coffee base.

MisterFister
Jul 6, 2003

Sticking it to THE MAN, assuming THE MAN is an innocent casual dining restaurant.


Haverchuck posted:

dont go to mcdonalds dude

If I wasn't almost completely disfunctional in the morning and never ran late to work and if mcdonalds didn't run monopoly on convenient locations to grab a quick coffee through a drive-thru I wouldn't go there.

1gnoirents
Jun 28, 2014
Probation
Can't post for 4 days!


CCrew posted:

I am not a coffee aficionado, I just drink kuerig stuff. I am interested in trying better coffee though, where is a good place to start? I don't know enough to know why Starbucks is bad, I've just accepted its mostly syrup flavor with a coffee base.

buy an aeropress. if you like how that tastes, you might benefit from looking further into "real coffee". if you dont think its really that different then just stick with what you like (kuerig)

LifeSizePotato
Mar 3, 2005

TY for no bm

their cake pops are pretty good

MisterFister
Jul 6, 2003

Sticking it to THE MAN, assuming THE MAN is an innocent casual dining restaurant.


Also my work gets us royal cup and hoooooly poo poo that poo poo sucks so bad if I am forced to drink it I get stomach pains and the shits for the rest of the day.

Royal cup I hate you so much.

a worthy uhh
Dec 28, 2006



CCrew posted:

I am not a coffee aficionado, I just drink kuerig stuff. I am interested in trying better coffee though, where is a good place to start? I don't know enough to know why Starbucks is bad, I've just accepted its mostly syrup flavor with a coffee base.

GWS has a coffee snob thread, go check it out /seriouspost

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redshirt
Aug 11, 2007

Excuse the rampant bans, I've been cucked.


Iced coffee is the best way to consume coffee and it's very difficult to make it taste bad.

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