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Typographer
Sep 22, 2013


I've had an awful couple years so I have recently been taking the last few months or so just to focus on myself. The one observation is that my personality is really, really poo poo. Don't get me wrong, I'm a good and nice person, but I'm not a very interesting one.

What do you do when you dislike your personality? Can you change it? I am so socially awkward sometimes, when I am in a group setting I can't keep the conversation going at all, I don't understand small talk. I am so boring, I never know what to say. it seems to come so naturally to some people, yet I'm sat there like an idiot beating myself up for not being normal like everyone else.

I do think your personality has a lot to do with your upbringing. My upbringing was very shut off from the world, my parents never took me places or encouraged me to even read or socialise with people. I stayed indoors a lot, watching tv with my mother or playing video games. My mother has very mild autism and dyslexia. She also has no idea how to interact with people, she never has small talk and can't carry a conversation with anyone for very long. I think I have learned this off her.

Can you change your personality? Or is this who I am and by changing the way I am I'm becoming someone else, someone fake?

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xov
Nov 14, 2005

DNA Ts. Rednum or F. Raf


Yeah, step one to fixing it is coming to terms that your personality has facets that most people find repugnant.

It's all just brain reprogramming. When you catch yourself in the middle of doing poo poo that people have complained about, decide you're going to do something else. Be vigilant about it.

For example, if you're walking down the street scowling and staring at the ground, realize you're doing it and instead, stand up straight, try to maintain a relaxed expression, and smile and make eye contact with people as they pass by. It's awkward at first, but gets easier the more you do it.

A therapist will be best to offer exact exercises/suggestions, but reframing your state of mind and tuning up your personality is absolutely possible and encouraged. You're already a step ahead of a lot of other people if you're recognizing that your upbringing had a lot to do with how you currently handle yourself.

A brain is a very malleable blob of cells and synapses and with enough repetition and effort you can get it to do pretty much anything you want. It's not easy but it's possible.

Best of luck.

Inevitable
Jul 27, 2007

a sense of growing unease...

Feel like you're not an interesting person? Start doing interesting things. Take a kung fu class, or join up with a meetup group that takes monthly hikes or something. And you can give yourself little social challenges. "I'm going to make small talk with one person in my fencing group today." And you'll feel super weird and awkward doing it, but you'll also get better at it, just like with any other skill.

"Or is this who I am and by changing the way I am I'm becoming someone else, someone fake? "


Nah. You are who you are, of course, but the things you do change you. So if you want to be a more active, interesting person (which is what it sounds like to me), do active interesting, things.

And yeah, therapy.

FordPRefectLL
Dec 29, 2007

I WANT A BIG GAY MOTORCYCLE MAN TO SHAVE MY TAINT WHILE I WEAR MY CAPTAIN HAT

I MEAN LIKE FULL ON BIKINI WAX


yep get a hobby that isn't computer related

A big flaming stink
Apr 26, 2010


Typographer posted:

I've had an awful couple years so I have recently been taking the last few months or so just to focus on myself. The one observation is that my personality is really, really poo poo. Don't get me wrong, I'm a good and nice person, but I'm not a very interesting one.

What do you do when you dislike your personality? Can you change it? I am so socially awkward sometimes, when I am in a group setting I can't keep the conversation going at all, I don't understand small talk. I am so boring, I never know what to say. it seems to come so naturally to some people, yet I'm sat there like an idiot beating myself up for not being normal like everyone else.

I do think your personality has a lot to do with your upbringing. My upbringing was very shut off from the world, my parents never took me places or encouraged me to even read or socialise with people. I stayed indoors a lot, watching tv with my mother or playing video games. My mother has very mild autism and dyslexia. She also has no idea how to interact with people, she never has small talk and can't carry a conversation with anyone for very long. I think I have learned this off her.

Can you change your personality? Or is this who I am and by changing the way I am I'm becoming someone else, someone fake?

tbh i doubt your personality is 'poo poo'. being socially awkward is pretty mild on the scale of negative personality traits. id say the bigger problem is you hate your personality. self loathing is pretty obvious to the people around you, not to mention extremely inhibitive to any meaningful introspection.

when did you decide you hate your personality. do you constantly flash back to moments where you think you embarrassed yourself and have feelings of shame or anger?

Lipset and Rock On
Jan 18, 2009


If the problem with your personality is that you are boring, never know what to say and are sheltered and you're right that, at your core you're a decent person, then the thing to do is to get as much life experience as you can as quickly as you can. Go travelling. Do something that surprises you. Go out there and live. When you have experiences and stories to tell about the world you'll no longer seem uninteresting, and it'll especially help your all important confidence if you do stuff outside your comfort zone.

Course, you're a goon posting in E/N, so not ruling out the possibility that there's not more going on here.

A big flaming stink
Apr 26, 2010


also the idea that you alter the way you behave in public makes you 'fake' is pretty dumb. maintaining a conceit in how you behave around other people just means you arent 100% forthright all the time which is basically what everyone does.

Gabriel Pope
May 16, 2009

diggle zone


Typographer posted:

What do you do when you dislike your personality? Can you change it? I am so socially awkward sometimes, when I am in a group setting I can't keep the conversation going at all, I don't understand small talk. I am so boring, I never know what to say. it seems to come so naturally to some people, yet I'm sat there like an idiot beating myself up for not being normal like everyone else.

Good news! Chances are most people are much more boring and awkward than you think--you're probably just too fixated on your own personality flaws to notice. The difference between being a social disaster and a cool guy people enjoy hanging out with is smaller than you think it is.

The best way to become an interesting person is to go out and do interesting things, which will let you meet interesting people and give you interesting things to talk about. In the meantime you can cover for your lack of contributions by taking an interest in what other people are talking about. Many people like talking about themselves, so if you encourage them by paying attention and asking relevant questions they'll probably enjoy talking with you even if you don't have much to say.

posh spaz
Jul 25, 2014


Gabriel Pope posted:

In the meantime you can cover for your lack of contributions by taking an interest in what other people are talking about. Many people like talking about themselves, so if you encourage them by paying attention and asking relevant questions they'll probably enjoy talking with you even if you don't have much to say.

A million times this. Doing interesting stuff is like, high-level personality skills. It's kind of old-fashioned and a bit meandery, but read "how to win friends and influence people." Being able to ask relevant questions and listen attentively will make people think you're a sparkling conversationalist. Doing interesting things may be fun but may or may not help you connect with others.

Edit: I asked my wife about this, since she has some of the same issues. She said compliments may help if they're sincere "Hey, that's a cool [blank], where'd you get it?" If you're willing to keep up with sports, a lot of people like to talk about sports. I find it boring as hell. Antidepressants can help. She said she was super outgoing when she was on Paxil. YMMV and all that.

posh spaz fucked around with this message at Jul 31, 2014 around 15:52

clammy
Nov 25, 2004




Hi! My personality is piss. Nice to meet you.

Typographer
Sep 22, 2013


Thanks all. Great advice so far, already looking into activities or hobbies to try out. It will probably be a nice distraction from over analysing everything I do as well.

I just feel sometimes that people are almost annoyed at me for not contributing enough in conversations, I may be paranoid but on some social occasions I've often felt that my very confident and social colleague and housemate is ashamed of me, or looks at me in a "what's wrong with you?" kind of way.

A big flaming stink posted:


when did you decide you hate your personality. do you constantly flash back to moments where you think you embarrassed yourself and have feelings of shame or anger?

Yes, and I will analyse them to death. It's awful and it only leads to disliking myself and my personality even more.


Gabriel Pope posted:

In the meantime you can cover for your lack of contributions by taking an interest in what other people are talking about. Many people like talking about themselves, so if you encourage them by paying attention and asking relevant questions they'll probably enjoy talking with you even if you don't have much to say.

Great idea, I will give this a try definitely!

Typographer
Sep 22, 2013


posh spaz posted:

A million times this. Doing interesting stuff is like, high-level personality skills. It's kind of old-fashioned and a bit meandery, but read "how to win friends and influence people." Being able to ask relevant questions and listen attentively will make people think you're a sparkling conversationalist. Doing interesting things may be fun but may or may not help you connect with others.

Edit: I asked my wife about this, since she has some of the same issues. She said compliments may help if they're sincere "Hey, that's a cool [blank], where'd you get it?" If you're willing to keep up with sports, a lot of people like to talk about sports. I find it boring as hell. Antidepressants can help. She said she was super outgoing when she was on Paxil. YMMV and all that.

Great advice, too. Thanks! I have been toying with the idea of anti depressants, as although I do struggle with social things, I do have an underlying depression problem that hasn't been dealt with for many years, which may be hindering my social interactions with people.

xov
Nov 14, 2005

DNA Ts. Rednum or F. Raf


Typographer posted:

Yes, and I will analyse them to death. It's awful and it only leads to disliking myself and my personality even more.

These are secrets which can be safely stored in your head to expire, much like radioactive waste. Don't let them out of their special containment barrel and they won't bother anyone else. I guarantee that you are the only person who remembers they happened, and over time, they will matter less and less.

Typographer posted:

Thanks all. Great advice so far, already looking into activities or hobbies to try out. It will probably be a nice distraction from over analysing everything I do as well.

I just feel sometimes that people are almost annoyed at me for not contributing enough in conversations, I may be paranoid but on some social occasions I've often felt that my very confident and social colleague and housemate is ashamed of me, or looks at me in a "what's wrong with you?" kind of way.

Nope. Here's a cool trick for you to do when your mind starts piping up with bullshit like the above. Reverse it.

"When's the last time I looked at a quiet person in a social setting and wondered what the gently caress was wrong with them?" Typically you don't start drawing conclusions about a person until they open their mouth, right?

So if you are actively telling people how boring you are and other ideas that indicate you have low self-esteem, you're scooping that secret out of your head and plopping it onto the table like a festering pile of dog poo poo for everyone to look at and smell uncomfortably.

The best way to combat this is like another poster suggested - take active interest in topics that other people are discussing and ask them questions about themselves. People love to talk about themselves.

I am curious though - what are some aspects of your personality that you feel are poo poo? I'm willing to bet it all stems from an underlying sense of low self-esteem and that's not as hard to work on as it seems. You just have to start practicing positive behaviors. Talk yourself up, not down, and once again, therapy.

xie
Jul 29, 2004

If you liked it,
then you should have put a ring on it.


I remember stupid poo poo i did over 20 years ago, I promise you nobody even remembers the stupid poo poo I did last week.

i guess i used to be like this when I was younger - if there's an awkward conversation, i express myself poorly, or just say some stupid joke that nobody responds to i used to think "oh no the entire interaction/relationship is ruined" but in reality 30 seconds later nobody cares. your friends or acquaintances generally like and tolerate you as you are, you don't need to be some perfect being who never makes anyone awkward or uncomfortable, and is always the life of the conversation.

If you find the people in your life don't react like I've described, they suck. There's lots of people who are either insecure and lash out to make themselves feel better, or arrogant assholes who put people down. Neither are healthy groups and you should ditch people like that.

I'm not super exciting and I have a good group of friends and acquaintances, and I also don't have a single burning passion that's fun to talk about. I make it work and you probably can too. The feedback loop in your head is what tanks these social situations, not your personality.

Utter Amnesty
Nov 7, 2009

You think you're looking at me through some window, when all you're really doing is looking in a mirror.


In the nicest possible way, op, get over yourself.

I think it's great you want to improve yourself and, indeed, it's very valuable and rewarding to become more socially adept. The reality is, though, that very few people actually think about you and how you behave for more than seconds unless you're an active antagonist in their life. It's not a dig on you or them, just a fact that people are naturally very self-centered and motivated by their own emotional whims no matter their outward presentation.

Take this fact as permission to just be yourself and not feel pressure to meet some internal personality standard. If you're decent, sane, and listen to people even if you have trouble maintaining a conversation, you will be well liked by anyone worth a drat. I think this has the dual benefit of helping you socially, as well. Once you're done trying to parrot what you think a conversation SHOULD be and start just interacting in the moment, you will actually start being interesting. I know so many people who can carry on long conversations but are boring as hell because there's nothing unique about who they are.

To actually improve your social ability I suggest cultivating an interest in who people are and what makes them tick. Read a biography of someone you find fascinating and push yourself to think about who they are and what motivated them. In every situation, try to put yourself in the shoes of the people around you and imagine what it's like to live their life. The most interesting people to talk to are usually the ones with a strong sense of empathy.

You say you don't understand small talk but it's often the gateway to real talk and it can actually be engaging if you put some energy to it. When I ask someone "How are you?", I can tell something about them by the way they answer "I'm okay." Do they seem grumpy or is there an energy to the response that signals they're actually okay. Ask them questions about themselves (job, family, roommates, pets) and remember their answers and follow it up next time you see them. Ask people why they made whatever choice and how they feel about it. Try to get in tune with the emotional world of whoever you're talking to because emotions are what rule people's lives and it will help you understand and interact with them.

Also, don't be afraid to talk about what's going on with yourself. If you're at a loss about what to talk about, bring up the fact you feel socially awkward and say you struggle but want to be better and you'll have something to talk about. Talking is really honestly easy: you just talk about poo poo.

Finally, being socially awkward does not mean you have a poo poo personality. I know great people who flounder at parties and at dinners but are great and decent people who do interesting things. Work on finding a way to like yourself and people will pick up on that and you get the added bonus of liking yourself more.

Utter Amnesty fucked around with this message at Jul 31, 2014 around 17:13

Tibor
Apr 29, 2009


Utter Amnesty posted:

bring up the fact you feel socially awkward and say you struggle but want to be better and you'll have something to talk about.

The rest of that post was full of good advice but this really stands out as a conversation killer. Floundering so much in a conversation that you have to tell the person you're feeling awkward and can't talk about anything is only going to alienate them. It's weird as gently caress and will just make them feel awkward around you too. Better to find a reason to excuse yourself than make your awkwardness somebody else's burden.

Autumn Angel
Jan 18, 2014



This is perhaps a bit pedantic, but having an interesting personality and doing interesting things in your free time are not exactly the same thing. It's good to pick up some interesting hobbies to enrich your own life, of course, but it isn't really the answer to your problem. There are lots of people that are good to talk to that do little more than go to work, come home, take care of the kids, and go to bed. Your issue isn't that you don't have enough interesting hobbies or whatever, but rather how you view yourself in relation to other people. Utter Amnesty hit the nail on the head with this.

posh spaz
Jul 25, 2014


Typographer posted:

Great advice, too. Thanks! I have been toying with the idea of anti depressants, as although I do struggle with social things, I do have an underlying depression problem that hasn't been dealt with for many years, which may be hindering my social interactions with people.

If you're serious, you really need to get that looked at. I get that mental health isn't given the same respect as physical health, but imagine if you had said "I've had this tumor on my face that hasn't been dealt with for many years, which may be hindering my social interactions."

The first step is to deal with the pressing health issues, then deal with all the other poo poo.

Utter Amnesty
Nov 7, 2009

You think you're looking at me through some window, when all you're really doing is looking in a mirror.


Tibor posted:

The rest of that post was full of good advice but this really stands out as a conversation killer. Floundering so much in a conversation that you have to tell the person you're feeling awkward and can't talk about anything is only going to alienate them. It's weird as gently caress and will just make them feel awkward around you too. Better to find a reason to excuse yourself than make your awkwardness somebody else's burden.

A fair point. That was more in the vein of 'Be real to people and talk about what matters to you.' You're right that wouldn't fly at a party or if you don't know the person but it might be a reasonable place to go with a family member or an established friend.

Context appropriate topics is definitely an important part of things but I think the key in socializing is just be yourself and the people who you are compatible with will be into it.

gagelion
Jun 13, 2013

by XyloJW


xie posted:

If you find the people in your life don't react like I've described, they suck. There's lots of people who are either insecure and lash out to make themselves feel better, or arrogant assholes who put people down. Neither are healthy groups and you should ditch people like that.

Is this a hard and fast thing? ive been trying to cut out people who are rude to me but i get worried that i really am obnoxious enough to warrant being insulted.

I mean if i do something stupid and in the moment i get criticized thats fine but when people call you a dumbass or whatever way after the fact.

PopRocks
Jul 4, 2003

WTF am I reading?

Literally no one judges you as harshly as you judge yourself. You are too busy thinking about yourself to notice the sub-par behavior of anyone else, and the same is true of them. No one remembers your embarrassing gaffs as well as you do, and the more you put yourself out there, the less memorable they will be.


Listen to NPR and podcasts while you work or commute. They will keep you apprised of current events and give you lots of exposure to smart conversations. Then you can work what you've heard into conversation, "oh, speaking of X, the other day I heard about Y!" Just keep politics / religion out of it, unless you are getting high with people.

Ask people questions about themselves and pop culture and current events. How do you know [person you know in common]? Are you from [town we live in] originally? Where do you work? What is your major (if in college)? How did you get interested / involved in that? Oh me? I'm working in the field of / studying X, I got into it because of Y. Have you seen that new movie X? It's interesting because of Y. Did you hear they are remaking X? Did you ever see the original? Are you watching [popular TV show]?

Iriquois
Jun 6, 2013


I used to have a lot of similar issues. The core of it is you are overanalysing yourself.

First and foremost nobody is thinking about you or the stupid things you do as much as you are.

Secondly, everyone is awkward and nobody is normal. You know those awkward silence in group conversations that you cringe over and feel oddly responsible for? Look around, nobody else is filling the void either. It's not your problem.

Thirdly, don't let your mind wander during other peoples conversations. Be attentive, ask questions. Remember conversations and ask follow up questions. People like people who make an effort to be interested in them. Even if you are a total misanthrop, it's an easy effort to make.

Failing that, alcohol makes everything more interesting. Experiment with alcohol and social situations, you'll quickly know what works and what doesn't.

Steampunk iPhone
Sep 2, 2009


Typographer posted:

I've had an awful couple years so I have recently been taking the last few months or so just to focus on myself. The one observation is that my personality is really, really poo poo. Don't get me wrong, I'm a good and nice person, but I'm not a very interesting one.

What do you do when you dislike your personality? Can you change it? I am so socially awkward sometimes, when I am in a group setting I can't keep the conversation going at all, I don't understand small talk. I am so boring, I never know what to say. it seems to come so naturally to some people, yet I'm sat there like an idiot beating myself up for not being normal like everyone else.

I do think your personality has a lot to do with your upbringing. My upbringing was very shut off from the world, my parents never took me places or encouraged me to even read or socialise with people. I stayed indoors a lot, watching tv with my mother or playing video games. My mother has very mild autism and dyslexia. She also has no idea how to interact with people, she never has small talk and can't carry a conversation with anyone for very long. I think I have learned this off her.

Can you change your personality? Or is this who I am and by changing the way I am I'm becoming someone else, someone fake?

I used to have similar issues, OP. What helped me was using LSD. My acid trips helped me view my personality from a different perspective and it gave me the motivation to improve myself. I went from being an autistic shutin to being friendly and sociable and my life has improved so much. A dose in the 150-300 microgram range would probably give you what you're looking for.

Utter Amnesty
Nov 7, 2009

You think you're looking at me through some window, when all you're really doing is looking in a mirror.


Steampunk iPhone posted:

I used to have similar issues, OP. What helped me was using LSD. My acid trips helped me view my personality from a different perspective and it gave me the motivation to improve myself. I went from being an autistic shutin to being friendly and sociable and my life has improved so much. A dose in the 150-300 microgram range would probably give you what you're looking for.

This guy did so many drugs that he broke his perception of reality. Keep that in mind when considering this advice. Do smoke weed, though.

posh spaz
Jul 25, 2014


Obviously the solution is drugs. Whether it's Paxil, booze, LSD, or weed, the OP's current level of drug use is inadequate.

Steampunk iPhone
Sep 2, 2009


Utter Amnesty posted:

This guy did so many drugs that he broke his perception of reality. Keep that in mind when considering this advice. Do smoke weed, though.

Perhaps it's you're perception of reality that is broken.

AN ANGRY MOTHER
Jan 31, 2008
BLANK

try to learn How to Win Friends and Influence People. how you'll go about learning that, I have no idea.

veilo
Jul 17, 2010

Never posts


Try doing something interesting eg not posting on the forums. Do FUN stuff that you will not embarrassed to mention to normalfags when they ask what you been up to lately.

Enjoy your new non-boring personality.

Quickscope420dad
Jun 30, 2014

I can drink 40 cups of tea in 1 second


Yes it's totally possible to change your personality, you just need to practice self-awareness and watch out for your own lovely habits.

Social interaction:


Small talk is almost identical to shitposting in GBS. Not even kidding. Just talk complete crap.

It's not about "oh look at the weather" "how is work" etc etc, that's not smalltalk that's just badtalk.

Smalltalk is the ability to talk complete back and forth nonsense.

Social anxiety:

Takes practice. Try going up to random groups of strangers and saying complete bullshit. Results are surprising, and the first couple of times that it goes well for you, you'll get a huge adrenaline rush and will actually feel great, immediately transforming your perception of social interaction.



Work out precisely what you don't like about yourself, how it manifests, and then observe for those manifestations and correct them with real-time weapons change.



The worst thing you could do is diagnose yourself with aspergers or the like. Don't blame it on something beyond your control, because it isn't.

Palpek
Dec 27, 2008


Do you feel it, Zach?
My coffee warned
me about it.


Listen to Utter Amnesty.

TEAYCHES
Jun 23, 2002



are you hot op? could you be hot if you were thin and tried to dress hip? cause feelin like youre hot combined with the strategies above will help you out hope this helps. even if you are a dork most ppl are fine with that just try and be nice and copy at least a few mannerisms of ppl who seem popular

dont worry about faking it because everyone else is too

drugs are also a good idea. seriously

Xillah
Nov 29, 2002

I paid $10 to change some guys avatar to an Oblivion Elf with giant tits just to steal this gif


I can't think of many people I've met with truly lovely personalities OP. Unless you are a complete energy sucker where the other person has to carry the conversation to the point you are a drag to be around you're fine.

FunkyFlashman
May 10, 2013


Go watch Jim Carreys "Yes men". And then copy it or make it even better. Jim Carrey is in a similar position and solves this problem in this movie. Also post a "say always yes" story here!

Smarmy John
Feb 2, 2014



Inevitable posted:

Feel like you're not an interesting person? Start doing interesting things. Take a kung fu class, or join up with a meetup group that takes monthly hikes or something. And you can give yourself little social challenges. "I'm going to make small talk with one person in my fencing group today." And you'll feel super weird and awkward doing it, but you'll also get better at it, just like with any other skill.

"Or is this who I am and by changing the way I am I'm becoming someone else, someone fake? "


Nah. You are who you are, of course, but the things you do change you. So if you want to be a more active, interesting person (which is what it sounds like to me), do active interesting, things.

And yeah, therapy.

This is what my grandmother calls "borrowing trouble."

So what if you are a prude, as long as you're a happy prude? And why are you worrying about your future single self's ability to find someone to gently caress? You don't even know what your future single self will be like, so how could you POSSIBLY predict how attractive he'll be, who he'll know (and therefore who might or might not want to have sex with him) or even, you know, if he'll exist.

This is a colossal waste of your time and energy. Take stock of what you like about your life and yourself, make a plan to fix the things you don't, nurture your marriage, and go have a beer or something; Jesus.

Typographer
Sep 22, 2013


Thanks all, I have been looking into booking a holiday alone over christmas. I want to go somewhere I've always wanted to go and I think it might be a nice chance to get away from everything at home and just see new things and explore a new country. As for drugs, unless they are prescribed by a doctor I think it might be best if I avoid.

Typographer
Sep 22, 2013


Xillah posted:

I can't think of many people I've met with truly lovely personalities OP. Unless you are a complete energy sucker where the other person has to carry the conversation to the point you are a drag to be around you're fine.

I'm really not, I mean I do try and I put so much effort into joining in but I just find it all so alien. I observe others and theyre so natural about it. But yes, I'm not as bad as that

Xillah
Nov 29, 2002

I paid $10 to change some guys avatar to an Oblivion Elf with giant tits just to steal this gif


Typographer posted:

I'm really not, I mean I do try and I put so much effort into joining in but I just find it all so alien. I observe others and theyre so natural about it. But yes, I'm not as bad as that

Your probably just over thinking it bud. I don't think a bit of social anxiety is out of the ordinary, I think I had issues with it when I was younger, eventually you'll just stop giving a poo poo. I tend to talk shite and over share, doesn't seem to do any harm socially.

Koyaanisgoatse
Apr 23, 2014


Exercise is also a good idea. Not only does it relieve stress, but it also gives you a point of conversation with people who enjoy similar types of exercise

Fuck da Mods
Jun 27, 2013

Jesus Died For U


/run personality enhancer 2.1 beep boop.

How bout you sack up and do some LSD. LSD turned my son into a man.

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Xibanya
Sep 16, 2012



I used to make people uncomfortable all the time because I would always put myself down in group situations. I thought I was making myself more likeable, like "please don't be mad at me for being a pathetic sack of poo poo -- I'm already aware that I am!!" but actually I was making people unhappy because they weren't sure how to follow up. Should they agree? Should they disagree? Change the subject? Then I learned to listen to people, and, as was said above, become genuinely interested in other people and ask them questions about themselves. Because I did that whiny "woe is me" stuff as a college freshman/sophomore and now I've had some years to practice and I hang out with people who didn't know me then, people think that I am totally awesome and a super cool person. (I do sex and have cocaine constantly, OP ) Of course I still struggle with self-esteem issues from time to time, but secretly everybody in the entire world does, unless they have some other personality disorder that's even worse.

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