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You can cook chicken breast with your mind but only medium rare. Your fists can shoot off and explode but only once and they don't regrow. You have the power to give anyone mild depression by just touching them. You can cause someone's rear end to become your face but your face become's their rear end. After the first time though you can only swap asses with your assface. Your rear end is bulletproof. You can see through porcelain. Your mouth has a strong naturally minty flavor within it but at all times, including when you eat or drink other foods. You have molecular acid for piss. While you are not injured by it, your clothing will burn even if an infinitesimal amount remains post-piss. You have the ability to drink an unlimited amount of Natural Ice without becoming drunk. You are ultra-magnetic but you cannot control it in any fashion.
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Jul 31, 2014 23:28
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If you concentrate enough, your ejaculate comes out as soft-serve.
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Jul 31, 2014 23:31
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I know when my cellphone is going to ring 5 seconds before it does. It is...not an ideal superpower.
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Jul 31, 2014 23:31
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You can turn any book your touch into the bible, but only as many words that will fit into the original book's pages in extremely large font.
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Jul 31, 2014 23:37
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You can tell someone is lying but only when the person is lying about what he or she masturbated to last
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Jul 31, 2014 23:37
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The power of sweating uncontrollably every time a woman speaks to you. You can change your face but only into Mitch McConnell's face.
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Jul 31, 2014 23:39
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You can read someone's mind as long as they are thinking about Sonic the Hedgehog Erotic Fan-fiction at that moment.
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Jul 31, 2014 23:39
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making zippers on things turning your body to string being able to summon the sun
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Jul 31, 2014 23:39
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ability to morph into hair gel
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Jul 31, 2014 23:41
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you can stretch your body - but not your skeleton you can telepathically communicate with Welshmen photographic memory, i.e you remember every photograph you ever see you have a metal skeleton - 100% gallium alloy
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Jul 31, 2014 23:41
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ability to morph into tampons
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Jul 31, 2014 23:42
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your house is indestructable being able to control your hair you explode if people look at your back everyone near you gets somewhat more aggressive
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Jul 31, 2014 23:42
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the ability to swallow and eat peanuts through your urethra but it still hurts as much as normal
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Jul 31, 2014 23:43
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You can give yourself extra chromosomes at will.
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Jul 31, 2014 23:43
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Sgt. Shaved Balls posted:If you concentrate enough, your ejaculate comes out as soft-serve. i dont know that sounds pretty awesome??
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Jul 31, 2014 23:44
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you can make your dick fall off but not reattach it, also it bleeds a whole lot.
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Jul 31, 2014 23:44
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gravity doesnt work near you all water you touch instantly boils
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Jul 31, 2014 23:45
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ability to shut down all wi-fi within a mile radius at will
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Jul 31, 2014 23:45
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you can skip time
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Jul 31, 2014 23:46
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You can tell the official name of any scented candle but only by eating the entire candle.
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Jul 31, 2014 23:46
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your dick grows 2x bigger when you die
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Jul 31, 2014 23:47
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Fister Roboto posted:i dont know that sounds pretty awesome?? You get really bad blue balls afterwards.
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Jul 31, 2014 23:47
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the ability to move all your toes independently of each other
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Jul 31, 2014 23:47
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every neighborhood you pass through is instantly gentrified
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Jul 31, 2014 23:47
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you have the ability to convert powerful alternating current electricity into high pitched screams and smoke
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Jul 31, 2014 23:48
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you can steal concepts
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Jul 31, 2014 23:48
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you can steal concepts
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Jul 31, 2014 23:49
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flashing brightly
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Jul 31, 2014 23:50
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you can turn a carls jr into a hardees and vice versa
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Jul 31, 2014 23:51
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Every person you encounter appears as a naked Angela Lansbury
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Jul 31, 2014 23:51
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You can make a dead male's testicles explode with the force of small firecrackers with your mind.
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Jul 31, 2014 23:51
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when your flesh gets burned it makes weedsmoke
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Jul 31, 2014 23:52
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you can fly but only on Malaysian air you can turn invisible but everyone will see the poop in your intestines and stuff
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Jul 31, 2014 23:52
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Sgt. Shaved Balls posted:You can cause someone's rear end to become your face but your face become's their rear end. After the first time though you can only swap asses with your assface. That's a really good combination if you happen to get shot in the face a lot.
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Jul 31, 2014 23:54
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you have a sense for danger that causes you hours of debilitating pain every time something bad is going to happen
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Jul 31, 2014 23:54
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The ability to annoy people from a distance. Been workin on this one myself, but thre are others in this very town who have it mastered.
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Jul 31, 2014 23:55
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You can remove a woman's uterus instantly with your mind but it's replaced with a bottle of mountain dew.
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Jul 31, 2014 23:56
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a hole-y ghost posted:when your flesh gets burned it makes weedsmoke lol this owns
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Jul 31, 2014 23:57
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the ability to put a copy of Home Alone 2 VHS on hold in each applicable video stores across the world instantly
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Jul 31, 2014 23:57
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ability to telepathically convert VHS to laserdisc
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Jul 31, 2014 23:59
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