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It is August, the first month of the season wherein we actually play Association Football. For all you new fans from the world cup, August is the funniest half-month of EPL football because it induces panic in some of the smaller clubs like Arsenal when they very suddenly realise they need to Buy Buy Buy Right Now and thus spunk millions on a bug-eyed shitelord. The transfer window remains open until the end of the month, thus giving teams an opportunity to Here is the table:  Despite my harsh words, Arsenal seem to be making a good account of themselves, so great for them. Here are some tasty fixtures  Palace finished the season very strongly and Arsenal have a history of making GBS threads the bed in August. This could be a Tasty As gently caress game. Tastiness rating: 3  Curiosity abound as Liverpool invite Southampton to the Anfield to play against all their old players. Will the New triumph over the Old? Tastiness rating: 5  There's usually little to be bored about when these two teams meet, especially as Everton seem to make a good account of themselves with half the wage bill. Tastiness rating: 3  in Soccerball we're a bit weird and do the Super Bowl right at the beginning of the season but oh well here it is. The 2 goodest teams from last season meet in a clash between the overhyped wankers and the overpaid foreign myths. Whoever wins, football loses. Tastiness rating: 5  Man City host Stoke, in what will be Stoke's first real test against a Big Club. If Bojan hasnt been snapped in half by the time this game rolls around it could be a good'un. Tastiness rating: 4  And we finish off August by watching Spurs get their cunts kicked in by Oil F.C., a result that will no doubt accelerate them towards sacking the manager in November. Tastiness rating: 3 Since we're just coming off the summer, all the teams have been playing musical chairs with their players and some players have been too slow, poo poo, or just thick, to sit down in time. It's a great, fun and fantastic adventure reading and posting about the millions and millions of pounds that clubs are throwing around just to get slightly better professional athletes than other clubs, as well as all the rumours, outright lies, and bold text that goes with.  Then get into the loving Transfer thread and don't poo poo my thread up with that poo poo. fat greasy puto posted:here's some stats to maintain for anyone who doesn't just want to watch the games, but really wants a deeper understanding: Popehoist fucked around with this message at 02:35 on Aug 2, 2014 |
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Aug 1, 2014 11:01
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| # ? Apr 28, 2024 20:35 |
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Tastiness rating? there's a stat i can get behind
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Aug 1, 2014 11:06
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Good op op.
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Aug 1, 2014 12:12
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hrm Liverpool have a tough month
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Aug 1, 2014 12:25
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Can't wait.
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Aug 1, 2014 12:26
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As a season ticket holder this is a big month for me.
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Aug 1, 2014 12:34
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OP transfer deadline day is in September so the panic buys will not actually take place in August
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Aug 1, 2014 12:34
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I'm pretty excited about the season and hope the Pool does well this season (they won't). But football season is almost here.
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Aug 1, 2014 12:36
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here's some stats to maintain for anyone who doesn't just want to watch the games, but really wants a deeper understanding: DZS: Shots from the danger zone, which is zones 1-3, the close and central areas of the box. WS: Shots from the wide areas of the 18-yard-box, zones 4-5. SoB: Shots from outside the 18-yard-box, zones 6-8. DZSoT: Shots on target from the danger zone (1-3). WSoT: Shots on target from the wide areas of the 18-yard box (4-5). SoBoT: Shots from outside the box on target (6-8). %DZ: Percentage of shots taken from the danger zone. %SiB: Percentage of shots taken from inside the 18-yard box. %Cross: Percentage of shots from the danger zone assisted by crosses. %TB: Percentage of shots from zones 3-5 assisted by through-balls. DZG: Goals scored from the danger zone. WG: Goals scored from the wide areas of the 18-yard box. GoB: Goals scored from outside the box. PenG: Goals scored from penalties. OG: Goals scored from own goals. G/DZS: Goals scored per shot taken from danger zone. G/WS: Goals scored per shot taken from wide areas of the 18-yard box. G/SoB: Goals scored per shot taken from outside the box. xG: Expected goals scored based on shot type, assist type and shot location
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Aug 1, 2014 12:42
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fat greasy puto posted:here's some stats to maintain for anyone who doesn't just want to watch the games, but really wants a deeper understanding: someone pin this
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Aug 1, 2014 12:52
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Don't forget these hard stats I crunched in rating defenders over in the transfer thread:
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Aug 1, 2014 13:06
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fat greasy puto posted:here's some stats to maintain for anyone who doesn't just want to watch the games, but really wants a deeper understanding: forgot the most important stat of all, DZ SiBoT
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Aug 1, 2014 13:09
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Eau de MacGowan posted:Don't forget these hard stats I crunched in rating defenders over in the transfer thread: You see to have accidently put luiz in the insanely good defenders circle
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Aug 1, 2014 13:10
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jozy is still somehow at sunderland lol.
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Aug 1, 2014 13:12
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Is the tastiness 0-5, 0-10.. what we dealing with here?
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Aug 1, 2014 13:13
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NoU posted:forgot the most important stat of all, DZ SiBoT dzsibot can be created using some of the stat metrics I posted. the best part about advanced stats is that there are a lot of combo possibilities, kinda like super street fighter 4
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Aug 1, 2014 13:23
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With the introduction of foam spray and advanced stats to follow goal line technology last year, this promises to be the fairest and best season of the Barclays in the long and illustrious 21 year history of association football.
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Aug 1, 2014 13:39
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My stats company provides in-depth statistical analysis of football matches and my clients are the most important clubs in the world. These are the stats Jozy's agent used to pitch him for one more season at Sunderland: As you can see, even when he's not doing anything at all he's pushing the team further with his high EE rate. We're working on ways to translate this to a higher SoBoT rate, and once we crack it, football will bow before us.
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Aug 1, 2014 13:57
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All you doubters are going to have egg on your faces when Joe Cole playmakes Villa to the top 6.
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Aug 1, 2014 14:21
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Frankston posted:All you doubters are going to have egg on your faces when Joe Cole playmakes Villa to the top 6. The tutelage of roy keane will definitely translate into results, that's a thing that will definitely happen.
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Aug 1, 2014 14:38
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I'm so excited about another season of dynamic Villa football
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Aug 1, 2014 14:45
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being a villa poster is like: 1. being an arsenal poster but not gay 2. being a chelsea poster but not a glory hunter 3. being a city poster but not bad 4. being a liverpool poster but not living in the past 5. being a united poster but not a malaysian 6. being a spurs poster but not thinking everything hitler did was bad and hell, i love it.
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Aug 1, 2014 14:47
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west brom will finish higher than villa 
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Aug 1, 2014 14:51
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nerd death screech posted:west brom will finish higher than villa
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Aug 1, 2014 14:51
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Man City fans will rape your kids. It's offensive, but it's true. Just a tidbit of info for the newcomers to the league.
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Aug 1, 2014 14:55
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straight up brolic posted:but who will post about it? the 13th step will, as will that american baggies plastic who is probably a really cool guy & handsome and alpha irl
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Aug 1, 2014 14:57
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If you're a man united fan then you literally want to kiss Rupert Murdoch on the lips
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Aug 1, 2014 14:58
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Aug 1, 2014 15:07
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OP you missed the tastiest match of the month in Everton vs Chels on the 30th when we get to see Lukaku get a hat trick while Mou makes a face
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Aug 1, 2014 15:18
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reappearing to say go west ham enner valencia? stabmaster aarson cresswell? sounds like a top six side to me
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Aug 1, 2014 15:25
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Im still confused by the tastymeter. Is there a guide to it.
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Aug 1, 2014 15:27
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TelekineticBear! posted:If you're a man united fan then you literally want to kiss Rupert Murdoch on the lips What if I am not a man united fan but I do want to kiss Roop?
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Aug 1, 2014 15:43
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For the true football fans the really tasty first round fixture is Stoke v Villa. Phwoar, tastiness ratings are off the charts.
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Aug 1, 2014 15:45
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Frankston posted:For the true football fans the really tasty first round fixture is Stoke v Villa. Phwoar, tastiness ratings are off the charts. I cannot watch this fixture without getting PTSD flashbacks.
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Aug 1, 2014 15:51
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peanut- posted:I cannot watch this fixture without getting PTSD flashbacks. The last time they met there was 5 goals
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Aug 1, 2014 15:56
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The Big Taff Man posted:Im still confused by the tastymeter. Is there a guide to it. The tastymeter is whatever you want it to be don't get all DzSiBoT about it and ruin it.
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Aug 1, 2014 15:56
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Frankston posted:For the true football fans the really tasty first round fixture is Stoke v Villa. Phwoar, tastiness ratings are off the charts. This is the only fixture that makes me put Dignitas on hotdial.
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Aug 1, 2014 16:04
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nerd death screech posted:the 13th step will, as will that american baggies plastic who is probably a really cool guy & handsome and alpha irl I hope this is talking about me 
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Aug 1, 2014 16:39
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No United and Chelsea match highlighted? Biased OP
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Aug 1, 2014 17:00
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| # ? Apr 28, 2024 20:35 |
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this is a fine opinion except for when he tells everyone they're wrong for their beliefs
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Aug 1, 2014 17:39
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