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i dedicate this to my homie rek 
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Aug 9, 2014 03:33
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I was unhappy for a couple of years because I was having a lot of trouble fitting in with my 95% bro office but then I went offbase and made some actual friends and never looked back. Go make some friends that don't suck - type in something you like + your city name into google and see where those people meet and then just show up. Or find a new hobby! If you're really that worried about your PT test then there's probably even some great running groups that you can join.
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Aug 9, 2014 04:41
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I'll never understand beta males, nor their fascination with joining the USAF. Is it because the USAF feels like the most ironic of the military branches? Because that's misconception, you're sensing idiocy not irony. That's why you are sad and can't pass the easiest PT test in the Department of Defense. Because you are weak, and are a lesser man. If you can't dig the literal millimeters down into the power of human ability to pass the USAF PT test you honestly deserve the panic attacks that are going to accompany your transition. And not just to civilian, I'm talking about when you go MTF or FTM or ?T? or whatever. Because you loving suck, but you'll probably keep on breathing air for whatever goddamn reason. 'Grats. Your only lasting memories will be the food you turned into poo poo, the country you failed to serve, and the parents you never gained the approval of. When your more succesful brothers and or sisters have children they'll use you as the example of what can happen if you find yourself at the junction of man and powerless vaginal secretion, and choose to go right for the cooter goo juice instead of sacking up and passing a PT test when you are that goddamn young.
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Aug 9, 2014 06:28
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Larry Parrish posted:so i took a mock pt test, and got a 13:56. i've already failed a pt test, so this is that 3 month retest coming up in a week. Of all the times to let yourself get out of shape you did it when big daddy Air Force is kicking everyone out.  Okay, real advice. The day before the test drink lots of water. Don't wait until that morning or you'll already be dehydrated and feel like poo poo. Eat a good dinner, something light that won't make you feel lazy (pasta with olive oil is good). Wake up early that day, make sure you eat breakfast but give yourself a few hours to digest. I go for steel cut oats with a banana, it's high-energy and doesn't sit in your stomach all day. Get a good night's sleep. Warm up a bit before the test, maybe do a lap around the track. Starting cold sucks and makes you feel more tired than you really are for the first few laps. Beyond that just find a good playlist and loving run, dude. I'm sure by now you've figured out this whole right-foot-left-foot thing, so just do that poo poo for about ten minutes and bam, you're done. Go smoke a cigarette and have a BK sandwich. The other option is, just stop giving a gently caress. But to do that you need to actually check out and stop giving a gently caress. Saying you don't care then posting a wrist-cutting rant on SA isn't not caring. It's pretending you don't care because you're potentially failing at something - something so trivial that in five years literally no one will care. PT tests are like high school pop quizzes. They don't mean poo poo long term other than as an overall indicator of how many fucks you gave at that time. If you want to pass, go out and pass, and if you don't care just bomb it and get back to regularly scheduled programming.
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Aug 9, 2014 08:56
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I eat taco bell like 15 times a day, and hadn't worked out in over a year and managed to pass a PT test with a 93 on the first try. Stop being a bitch I guess?
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Aug 9, 2014 09:03
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Obama Africanus posted:I'll never understand beta males, nor their fascination with joining the USAF. I enjoy masochism, it's why maintenance was the perfect fit for me and why I enjoy regularly getting slapped down by idiots with oak leaves with half of my intelligence and being told what I'll do by zippersuit wearing RPA pilot morons who are so stupid they failed out of real pilot training and are now 18Xs Welp that's my life Nah real-talk I landed a pretty sweet test gig recently that netted me a job that involves doing almost nothing on a daily basis and a month+ TDY to Hawaii that has turned into an even bigger boondoggle than I originally thought thanks to back to back tropical storms resulting in a little bit of rain and wind + no flying for almost a week. Thanks Obama! Also double-real talk if you can't pass an AF PT test after the slightest modicum of effort kill yourself I mean even noted fat ginger Godholio managed to pass the walk test so really, shoot yourself if you can't pass it
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Aug 9, 2014 09:09
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i appreciate the words, by the way. except i don't work 8s i work 12s 
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Aug 9, 2014 12:18
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Larry Parrish posted:i appreciate the words, by the way. Would you say working Panama schedule is your own personal Normandy?
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Aug 9, 2014 13:48
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How often per day do you say "Jesus take the wheel?" Seriously, your life isn't bad. How much actual work do you do per day? I like to jokingly complain about my job, but it isn't bad. The Air Force pays me E-5 pay to browse the internet for 7-8 hours per day. My job could be someone else's additional duty. Here's my work schedule for the week: Monday - Walk in to work and gently caress around for an hour. Spend half an hour making a spreadsheet. Work complete for the day Tuesday - Walk in and gently caress around for three hours. Go to an hour meeting where I say about 10 words total. Work complete for the day Wednesday - Same as Monday Thursday - gently caress around all day until I'm done with lunch. Spend 2-3 hours working on spreadsheets and slides Friday - In the morning I brief the slides I created on Thursday. Done for the day by 9-930. The rest of my time is filled with not giving a poo poo if GS-15's walk by and see I'm on something awful or reddit or whatever random website. The air force isn't hard. Show up to work, do your job and pass your PT test. Use your extra time to go to strip clubs and marry/pay to gently caress strippers.
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Aug 9, 2014 14:49
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Obama Africanus posted:I'll never understand beta males, nor their fascination with joining the USAF. lmfao.
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Aug 9, 2014 15:09
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Helldump Immunity. posted:i dedicate this to my homie rek  thanks buddy!flying blows, but flight pay is awesome, so I'm torn
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Aug 9, 2014 15:23
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no, seriously. i really appreciate the real talk. i have literally never had anyone in the
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Aug 9, 2014 15:31
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GENDERWEIRD GREEDO posted:I'd love to do some real modern Heart of Darkness poo poo, and rolling into an African country as part of a special ops group is basically the perfect way to do it this is literally the biggest dream of my entire life
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Aug 9, 2014 17:19
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Speaking of pt failures, my group commander's fat worthless son is finally getting out. After 7 years of not passing tests (Not even his basic training final if the rumors are to be believed) they finally had enough but are still letting him act like he's quitting on his own terms. I first encountered him in a graphic arts class during my senior year of high school, he screen printed a shirt that said "You say furry like it's a bad thing".
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Aug 9, 2014 18:23
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Larry Parrish posted:i appreciate the words, by the way. I work 80 hour weeks, study my rear end off on top of that, rarely get more than one full meal per day, and have a wife and a house full if kids to manage. I get maybe 30 min to exercise, so I go all out. I have a wrecked hip from an accident, so Motrin gets me through. No excuses, kid. Get in shape for yourself and screw the AF. (Even if you're as ugly as most goons, being in shape will maximize what you've got.) Find some worthwhile goals to pursue, figure out a path to get there, and stay dedicated. If you're aimless and have no principles, no goals, and no self-respect, people will walk all over you your entire life.
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Aug 9, 2014 19:42
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Casimir Radon posted:Speaking of pt failures, my group commander's fat worthless son is finally getting out. After 7 years of not passing tests (Not even his basic training final if the rumors are to be believed) they finally had enough but are still letting him act like he's quitting on his own terms. I first encountered him in a graphic arts class during my senior year of high school, he screen printed a shirt that said "You say furry like it's a bad thing".  show him this, see if he triggers
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Aug 9, 2014 20:18
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Larry Parrish posted:i appreciate the words, by the way. I routinely work 12+ hour days 4-6 days a week (not even Panama) and still find time to run. Excuses are like assholes. Everybody has them but only faggots use them. (I used to say that at work a lot but now I can't  )
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Aug 9, 2014 20:35
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man I must have it good cause I legit work like 35 hrs a week. poo poo, even that's a pretty busy week for me
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Aug 10, 2014 00:41
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Eh, I'm sure I'd do work those hours somewhere else, but I'm voluntarily flying in the Nav and Mission Fam phase as much as possible. I also really need hours, want to hit 1000 instructor multi engine turbine PIC time ASAP. I'm also planning on turning down IP upgrade if I go back to Offutt because gently caress that.
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Aug 10, 2014 01:54
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Helldump Immunity. posted:I Flew Everyone on Tinder in SLC (ie by Hill) puts 'LDS' or 'not LDS' as the first line in their profile.
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Aug 10, 2014 02:03
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Cojawfee posted:Did he walk the whole test? It was the slowest jog I've ever seen. Dude was a bit of a fatty. Got out of Saturday work by doing a volunteer thing where I spent the day at this lake  10/10 would volunteer again
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Aug 10, 2014 05:40
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A Kpro posted:Got out of Saturday work by doing a volunteer thing where I spent the day at this lake Hands down the best volunteer gig I ever had was being OpFor/Haji for SERE refresher classes. Hang around a campfire shooting the poo poo and occasionally go shake the bushes for fat National Guard aircrew.
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Aug 10, 2014 05:56
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Dominoes posted:I threw up in my mouth.  That's awesome.
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Aug 10, 2014 06:00
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A Kpro posted:It was the slowest jog I've ever seen. Dude was a bit of a fatty. We went hiking on Mount Charleston and then got hammered at the bar at the top of the mountain for our most recent CAF day. We're going trap shooting (followed by drinking) for our next one. This unit is awesome.
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Aug 10, 2014 09:52
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Cenen posted:Just found out I'm going to be rolling with some spec ops team into some country we apparently don't have much of a presence in to kill child soldiers or Ebola zombies or some poo poo. spec ops? spec ops spec ops spec ops spec ops
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Aug 11, 2014 06:47
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Phoenix Raven
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Aug 11, 2014 07:24
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Godholio posted:Phoenix Raven God drat man opsec please.
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Aug 11, 2014 07:26
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You're gonna be part of the first highly efficient A teams sent in to head off the earliest signs of operation MUDSLIDE going awry, ultimately though we'll never fully contain the outbreak. You'll likely die for a failed strategy, in an optional war, with a disinterested public looking on to an even sadder tomorrow. Don't despair though, you'll have died long before anyone ever figures out about the great Greek tragedy you were playing such a bit roll in. God bless you Cenen, I hope you spec the gently caress out of your ops. PHOENIX RAVEN IS GO I REPEAT PHOENIX RAVEN IS GO IS REPEAT PHOENIX RAVEN IS GO
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Aug 11, 2014 09:30
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Hey Phoenix Raven let that kid get stuck in that airplane wheel well and die so please show a little respect to those LOL masters.
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Aug 11, 2014 12:09
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"verbal judo"
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Aug 11, 2014 12:18
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Made it 6 years without bitching out on my PT test or suckstarting a glock. As of 2PM I'm out of this bitch. gently caress all a yall, I'M OUT. Counted some screws, made staff, lost staff, hosed hookers, hosed bar floozies from 5 different continents of origin, got hosed by big blue, and all of that. I've never felt so happy in my life.
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Aug 11, 2014 22:07
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Congrats, man.
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Aug 11, 2014 23:37
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Thank you for your service.
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Aug 12, 2014 00:31
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nullscan posted:Thank you for your service. gently caress you nullscan. God I miss drinking a pitcher with ya on the songtan strip.
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Aug 12, 2014 01:40
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good to see someone get paroled speaking of songtan I'm legit thinking of going to osan for a short tour so i can get a sweet PACAF follow on what does the korea delegation think of this plan
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Aug 12, 2014 01:49
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Cojawfee posted:Did he walk the whole test? To get an 18+ is just spectacular. shyduck fucked around with this message at 02:00 on Aug 12, 2014 |
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Aug 12, 2014 01:53
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During a practice run I had a shoelace come lose, I stepped on it with my other foot and loving tumbled. It had the added benefit of pulling the knot so tight it was the size of a loving hydrogen atom. I fought with it until it came lose, retied my shoe, and walked the last half lap (yeah it was at the end) and I still beat 18 minutes.
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Aug 12, 2014 02:14
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Rekinom posted:good to see someone get paroled Korea doesn't make me want to kill myself, but I just spent five years in Minot FWIW. Also, new penn wide AF rule says you can't drink your first 30 days.
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Aug 12, 2014 03:26
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smertrioslol posted:Korea doesn't make me want to kill myself, but I just spent five years in Minot FWIW. Also, new penn wide AF rule says you can't drink your first 30 days. Mamasan don't give a poo poo about 30 day rule. Get tanked on the weekend next town over. poo poo just means you shouldn't be on the strip or in the E club. Be smart you know you.
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Aug 12, 2014 04:06
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KirbyKhan posted:Mamasan don't give a poo poo about 30 day rule. Get tanked on the weekend next town over. poo poo just means you shouldn't be on the strip or in the E club. Be smart you know you. They breathalyzer test everyone who flags under 30 when they come back on base.
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Aug 12, 2014 04:35
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