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pcc and pci would prevent 24 years in prison. Remove the drat license plate.
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Aug 14, 2014 22:53
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sforzacio posted:Please tell me they are Infantry Listed as 82nd Airborne, but with the vague job title "R+D", so probably not actually combat arms? I don't know. GreenMeat posted:That program is a real crapshoot on the enlisted side. A fuckton of MAVNI enlistees end up as 88M. DA G2 is terrible about tracking who came in under MAVNI; they lose visibility of where all those supposedly critical language skills end up. Somehow I am Extremely Surprised about this.
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Aug 15, 2014 00:30
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Deathy McDeath posted:Pffft I'm gonna get out and make MAD BANK working construction for my uncle! I've heard this more than once from guys getting kicked out before their four was up or finishing as E-3s.
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Aug 15, 2014 01:17
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zombie303 posted:pcc and pci would prevent 24 years in prison. Remove the drat license plate. If only a noble had been around with a checklist.
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Aug 15, 2014 02:17
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Mr. Nice! posted:If only a noble had been around with a checklist. No tourniquet in your first aid kit, driving privileges revoked. Realtalk an O-3 was inspecting my car down at Benning and decided the best way to check my coolant was to open the radiator cap on a hot day after it had been running. He got it off just as I noticed what he was doing and sprayed fluid everywhere. He didn't really have an answer for me when I asked him if he'd ever checked fluids on a car before.
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Aug 15, 2014 02:27
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my company went to the range one day. they selected some of us to shoot at4's. one guy goes up to fire with his legs off to the side so he doesnt set himself on fire. our company commander physically corrected him so the backblast shoot all over the back of his right leg. semper fire
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Aug 15, 2014 02:36
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Lock all nobles in an office so they don't interfere with the rest of the unit.
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Aug 15, 2014 02:40
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FAGGY CLAUSE posted:my company went to the range one day. they selected some of us to shoot at4's. one guy goes up to fire with his legs off to the side so he doesnt set himself on fire. our company commander physically corrected him so the backblast shoot all over the back of his right leg. semper fire The practice AT-4's were a pile of poo poo when I went through MCT. I didn't even get to loving shoot mine since it just goddamn misfired and took like 2 minutes for it to shoot off while I stared at it laying on the ground
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Aug 15, 2014 02:45
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Lol we got yelled at in SOI for using cell phones around 203 rounds because our 1sgt thought the electromagnetic signals would short circuit their minimum safe firing range
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Aug 15, 2014 02:57
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Lock all of the military up so they don't interfere with the rest of the world.
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Aug 15, 2014 03:18
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sforzacio posted:Lock all of the military up so they don't interfere with the rest of the world. Come to korea, live the dream
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Aug 15, 2014 03:59
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EVA BRAUN BLOWJOBS posted:No tourniquet in your first aid kit, driving privileges revoked. was this your personal car they seriously check your personal car fluids
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Aug 15, 2014 04:11
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FAT SLAMPIG posted:was this your personal car Yes and yes. I also had to go buy a first aid kit. Ended up getting some tiny kit with band aids and ointment, and that passed.
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Aug 15, 2014 04:14
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FAT SLAMPIG posted:was this your personal car They were supposed to do all kinds of poo poo but somehow fort bragg was still full of rustbuckets on bald tires and brake pads with 150,000 miles.
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Aug 15, 2014 04:32
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N1KvgtEnABY
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Aug 15, 2014 04:35
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ud9zBKJJQe4
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Aug 15, 2014 04:39
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it occurs to me that it's been a while since ive watched dr strangelove i need to remedy this
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Aug 15, 2014 04:41
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FAT SLAMPIG posted:it occurs to me that it's been a while since ive watched dr strangelove Such a loving good movie.
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Aug 15, 2014 04:44
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zombie303 posted:Such a loving good movie. Seriously, i just read through the wikipedia article again and jesus christ peter sellers is incredible in it everyone's incredible but god drat sellers loving kills it also the story about slim pickens is loving awesome quote:Fellow actor James Earl Jones recalls, "He was Major Kong on and off the set—he didn't change a thing—his temperament, his language, his behavior." Pickens was not told that the movie was a comedy and was only given the script for scenes he was in, to get him to play it "straight."[19]
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Aug 15, 2014 04:46
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it occurs to me that i've worked around a larger number of mil people than i'd like to admit who honestly believe in significantly more insane conspiracy theories than just "stealing our precious bodily fluids."
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Aug 15, 2014 05:49
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Bolow posted:I can't imagine especially with those degrees that getting a work visa or eventually citizenship would be very difficult at all. So yeah your friends are highly educated idiots. You clearly haven't observed the joys of the H1B visa system or our legal immigration pipeline in general brains posted:it occurs to me that i've worked around a larger number of mil people than i'd like to admit who honestly believe in significantly more insane conspiracy theories than just "stealing our precious bodily fluids." They've probably had to deal with supply mafia, is why. No greater insane conspiracy this side of the Iron Curtain
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Aug 15, 2014 07:43
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its harder than you think to become an actual citizen without some sort of sponsorship, even a work visa from some countries is a real pain. the only ones that have it 'easy' are the ones who can win the greencard lotto.
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Aug 15, 2014 10:31
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sforzacio posted:Please tell me they are Infantry Ludwig Wittgenstein was legit one of the smartest motherfuckers that ever lived, I mean, the guy basically constructed an entire logical framework for explaining the way we see the world and he pondered all this while huddled in a ditch somewhere on the Russian front in 1917 directing artillery fire while snipers were chipping at his bootheels. He volunteered for it. Thought it would be good for him or something. Yeah, he was pretty hosed up in the head, too.
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Aug 15, 2014 14:56
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Bolow posted:The practice AT-4's were a pile of poo poo when I went through MCT. I didn't even get to loving shoot mine since it just goddamn misfired and took like 2 minutes for it to shoot off while I stared at it laying on the ground They literally made up shout "Bang" and that was it for using the AT-4 at MCT
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Aug 15, 2014 15:56
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Constantine XI posted:I've heard this more than once from guys getting kicked out before their four was up or finishing as E-3s. 1. Go to school 2. Become a cop 3. Mad bank working for uncle
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Aug 16, 2014 19:30
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"i got kicked out for drugs/psych/dui/conduct issues but it's cool man I'm totally just gonna work for LAPD"
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Aug 16, 2014 21:21
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I joined during the last part of the Reagan Administration. And holy poo poo, officers with degrees. Enlisted with degrees. CWO's with degrees. loving NCO's with degrees. All from University of Bumfuckistan. The Join4GIBill guys were totally loving worthless, usually were lied to like a motherfucker to get them to join in, and were the most useless shamming cheese eating fucktards in the entire military. But goddamn officers were the loving worst. "I have a degree in Cocksucking From MIT!" "Great, then I'll have to teach you how to walk in a straight loving line without looking like you're halfway through a bottle of Jack." "I went to West Point and have a degree in shaving my balls!" "So we're going to have to follow you to the loving motorpool to make sure you don't get lost in the loving woods and step on a World War 2 mine like your predecessor." Nothing like having these college educated morons screaming at you and calling you a bunch of loving animals. For someone without a real job, the training schedule looked like this: Monday: PT: 0600-0700 Breakfast: 0700-0800 Morning Formation: 0800-0845. (No poo poo, they'd invent poo poo for 45 minutes to blather on about) Barracks and Area Maintenance: 0900-1130 Place of Duty: 0900-1130 Lunch (NO LEAVING SECURE AREA!): 1130-1300 Motorpool: 1300-1730 Place of Duty: 1300-1730 Close of Business Formation: 1730-1800 Dinner: 1800-1830 Extra Duty: 1900-2200 Then on Thursday it would read: Training (See Platoon Schedule): 0600-1900 At any loving time some dipshit from another unit who outranked you could stop you and dress you down about your uniform. You had loving retards, usually the infantry or tanker dwonks, cruising the PX and Commissary to make sure nobody was there that they thought shouldn't be. You sick call got combed over with a fine toothed comb, and it wasn't uncommon to have some loving officer you never met deny your morning request to go to sick call. But the one motherfucker that EVERYONE hated so bad they could taste it in their balls, even if they were a woman. The Peace-time REMF Armorer. This OCD motherfucker. This child molesting poo poo eating bag of rat cocks masquerading as the poo poo out afterbirth of a Paki whore who'd been gang hosed by a pack of rabid dogs who did nothing all day but hide in the loving arms room jerking off to the child porn he traded the company's extra weapons for. He's ALWAYS 50 pounds overweight but somehow maxes the PT test you didn't see him at. He always shoots expert at the range he was at Burger King during. This low life commie loving cock sucking poo poo eating piss drinking cum gargling shitstain on the edge of humanity that isn't worth the powder it would take to blow him to hell. EVERYONE hates this bastard. Why? Because he'll have you scraping the bluing off your weapon, then bitching to the CO about how everyone's weapons are shiny. He'll never be around when you have to turn in your weapon, but will tell the CO that he was down in the Arms Room the whole loving time. He'll skip loving alerts. But the cleaning. Dear loving God, the weapon cleaning. Once this motherfucker takes over you will never. ever. ever. fire your weapon willingly again. It will take the threat of an Article-15 to make you fire that weapon, and that's if you can't steal your room-mate's weapon. See, he's gonna cut off a piece of a coat hangar. Then he'll do the last bit of physical effort he will ever expend to hammer the end flat. He will then buy cotton gauze. You will clean your weapon. You will bring it to him. He will scrape that thin bit of gauze across the metal of your weapon, and hold up the gauze. There will be a faint discoloration on the cotton, more than likely metal or bluing. He will then hold up that piece of cotton and will give you a smile that will remind you of the last thing some African virgin saw before she was raped to death. "Dirty." Then he'll hand your weapon back and go back to reading his porn mag. You can't whip his rear end, or you'll have to clean your weapon for a month straight. This sorry motherfucker, this pimple on the rear end in a top hat of humanity that even ISIS members can look down, will turn qualifying with your weapon, going to the field, or just drawing your goddamn weapon for six loving seconds before trying to hand it back into the biggest loving nightmare since that big black DI woke you up the second day of Basic by slapping his cock across your eyes. You will hate this motherfucker more than that fat-rear end PAC clerk who loses every piece of paperwork that matters. More than that spergy interracial gangbang porn reading douchebag in the training office who tries to get in that fat Indian girl with the crater face's pants by giving her all the preemo schools even if you're 2 years overdue for PLDC or Warrior School or whatever bullshit name they give it next. He's there with that loving rear end in a top hat mongoloid in the motorpool who gets to inspect your vehicles before you can turn them in. And right above that goddamn officer who is personally trying to kill each and every one of you so he can get medals to compete with the guys who went to war and earned them. Those medals and promotion points belong to him, goddamn it, and if he has to work you to death with unsafe equipment to get them, then that's what God surely intended. Oh, and the XO that will demand that you attend church services with him. But those three assholes would be a whole different post. That's the Peacetime loving Army for you. Nostalgia4ColdWar fucked around with this message at 03:35 on Aug 20, 2014 |
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Aug 20, 2014 03:31
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50 Foot Ant posted:
  I wish I could write half as well as 50FA
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Aug 20, 2014 04:05
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Aug 20, 2014 04:06
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Never change, 50FA, never change.
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Aug 20, 2014 04:15
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i will read a 50 foot ant post if theres like 3 or 4 lines of text max anything longer just turns into a blur of horseshit i cant focus on any one thing to actually manage reading it
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Aug 20, 2014 04:17
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Armorers really are the pus-filled boils of humanity. We pulled weapons at Oh-Buttfuck-Thirty so we would have them for the ruck march to whatever poo poo hole it was decided we would have our field exercise at. Once we got there everyone was given a plastic chest plate, face mask and a paint ball gun then all of our weapons were locked into a weapons rack and put away. This part was actually kinda fun, no MILES poo poo, we actually got to shoot people while clearing rooms and stuff like that. Much fun was had making people scream because paint balls loving hurt. People having fun could not be allowed to happen of course so we were all punished by the armorer for it. Mother fucker was turning down peoples weapons because he was finding carbon in the chambers. Carbon. In the weapons we never fired. I didn't know whether to be more pissed off because he had to have let that carbon go past with someone else, or because he knew within about ten seconds of the first guy he said this to that we were never even issued ammo and he didn't care. Carbon in our weapons, had to be our fault. Go back and clean it to whatever poo poo-loving crazy, totally arbitrary standard is made up on the spot then go to the end of the line for an entire company trying to turn in weapons to one armorer and one runner.
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Aug 20, 2014 05:04
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Yeah, just gotta go gently caress off until it's time to turn in weapons or they want libbo most of the time unfortunately. Funny how your weapon will fail over and over until it's 1500 on a Friday Armory is a bitch and there's lots of reasons to complain. I just hate how they never stagger poo poo. Alright let's just have the whole company of 150 dudes draw at the same time. Then someone gets smart and tries to stagger poo poo but that never lasts. I just love how all the armory and H&S guys have M4s Nostalgia4Dogges fucked around with this message at 05:13 on Aug 20, 2014 |
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Aug 20, 2014 05:09
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And the CO will NEVER ever ever in a million loving years give a flying gently caress about everyone cleaning weapons, because he uses the XO's at the range and someone else has to clean his loving weapon. Not to mention he gets high loving ratings for his Arms Room when he gets inspected by his higher ups, which makes his OER look good, and that's all that matters, not the scumbag enlisted and NCO's. To top it off, the motherfucker will homestead, reenlisting every time PDA, so he never had to worry about doing anything that the Army has to do. Half the time they weasel out of deployments because he's a fat cocksucking shamming gently caress who knows that the minute you go out of patrol he's going to fall out of the vehicle and get run over by 30 vehicles out of a 5 vehicle platoon. You'll never be rid of them, because the Army figured out that loving scumbag armorers reproduce by goddamn spores or something, and every loving arms room in the Army and Marine Corps will be loving infested with these poo poo eating turds within three years because there won't be any combat officers telling them to shut the gently caress up and buff the loving hallway like the useless piece of poo poo they are. Christ, it's over 20 years later, and if I recognized my old armorer sitting by the side of the road with a "HOMELESS VET PLEASE HELP" sign I'd pull over, parking my car on his legs, and piss all over his worthless face before calling the cops and telling them he's smuggling meth in his rear end in a top hat. Screaming "IS IT CLEAN NOW?" at the top of my lungs.
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Aug 20, 2014 05:14
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50 Foot Ant posted:And the CO will NEVER ever ever in a million loving years give a flying gently caress about everyone cleaning weapons, because he uses the XO's at the range and someone else has to clean his loving weapon. Not to mention he gets high loving ratings for his Arms Room when he gets inspected by his higher ups, which makes his OER look good, and that's all that matters, not the scumbag enlisted and NCO's. I want to empty quote you forever, 50FA. That might be the alcohol speaking though.
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Aug 20, 2014 05:40
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holy poo poo
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Aug 20, 2014 15:00
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Kung Fu Fist gently caress posted:i will read a 50 foot ant post if theres like 3 or 4 lines of text max
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Aug 21, 2014 00:08
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Kung Fu Fist gently caress posted:a 50 foot ant post of horseshit
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Aug 21, 2014 01:09
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im a little late but welcome back dadfarm 
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Aug 21, 2014 01:09
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thx bro, 1 luv
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Aug 21, 2014 02:55
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