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Cuck Norris' cum cures chlamydia. Too bad your wife couldn't get him off. Cuck Norris gave your wife multiple orgasms - twice. If you can see Cuck Norris, he is loving your wife and making you watch. If you can't see Cuck Norris, he's giving you a break When the Black man goes to sleep every night he checks your wife for Cuck Norris. Post your best here!
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Aug 5, 2014 19:51
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| # ? Apr 25, 2024 16:05 |
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Swing and a miss. You can't win them all OP.
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Aug 5, 2014 19:52
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did you know his dick is shaped like an octagon and missing in action?
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Aug 5, 2014 19:52
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Aug 5, 2014 20:25
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chuck norris fact: i will kill you op
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Aug 5, 2014 20:26
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- hi
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Bomber Wells, a spin bowler and great character, played for Glocuestershire and Nottinghamshire. He used to bat at No.11 since one couldn’t bat any lower. Of him, they used to paraphrase Compton’s famous words describing an equally inept runner; “When he shouts ‘YES for a run, it is merely the basis for further negotiations! Incidentally, Compton was no better. John Warr said, of Compton “ He was the only person who would call you for a run and wish you luck at the same time. Anyway, when Wells played for Gloucs, he had an equally horrendous runner as the No.10. During a county match, horror of horrors..both got injured. Both opted for runners when it was their turn to bat. Bomber played a ball on the off, called for a run, forgot he had a runner and ran himself. Ditto at the other end. In the melee, someone decided that a second run was on. Now we had all four running. Due to the confusion and constant shouts of “YES” “NO”, eventually, all of them ran to the same end. Note – at this point in time, the entire ground is rolling on the floor laughing their behinds out. One of the fielders – brave lad – stops laughing for a minute, picks the ball and throws down the wicket at the other end. Umpire Alec Skelding looks very seriously at the four and calmly informs them “One of you buggers is out. I don’t know which. You decide and inform the bloody scorers!”
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Aug 5, 2014 20:28
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Chuck Norris can gas this thread and ban OP without even seeing it
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Aug 5, 2014 20:28
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Chuck Norris facts were funnier when they were Vin Diesel facts. 
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Aug 5, 2014 20:34
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Who What Now posted:Chuck Norris facts were funnier when they were Vin Diesel facts.
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Aug 5, 2014 20:36
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i hope someone starts making Cuck Norris comedy cuck porn really soon
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Aug 5, 2014 20:38
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he did a kick
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Aug 5, 2014 20:39
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http://tindeck.com/listen/bkyh
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Aug 5, 2014 20:41
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Cuck Norris is so good at kung fu, when he front kicks around the house, he REALLY front kicks around the house
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Aug 5, 2014 21:09
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Carlos Ray "Chuck" Norris (born March 10, 1940) is an American martial artist and actor. After serving in the United States Air Force, he began his rise to fame as a martial artist, and has since founded his own school, Chun Kuk Do. Norris appeared in a number of action films, such as Way of the Dragon, in which he starred alongside Bruce Lee, and was The Cannon Group's leading star in the 1980s.[1][2] He played the starring role in the television series Walker, Texas Ranger from 1993 until 2001. Norris is a devout Christian and politically conservative. He has written several books on Christianity and donated to a number of Republican candidates and causes. In 2007 and 2008, he campaigned for former Arkansas Governor Mike Huckabee, who was running for the Republican nomination for president in 2008.[3] Norris also writes a column for the conservative website WorldNetDaily.[4] Since 2005 Norris has been widely associated with an internet meme which documents fictional and often absurd feats associated with him.
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Aug 5, 2014 21:11
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lololoo! xD!! omg u should email this 2 every1 op! ha ghagaa fart fw:fw:fw:fw:fw:fw:re:
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Aug 5, 2014 21:12
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JakeP posted:i hope someone starts making Cuck Norris comedy cuck porn really soon guidoanselmi posted:Carlos Ray "Chuck" Norris (born March 10, 1940) is an American martial artist and actor. After serving in the United States Air Force, he began his rise to fame as a martial artist, and has since founded his own school, Chun Kuk Do.
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Aug 5, 2014 21:13
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god have mercy on your soul if you are doing chuck norris jokes in the year of our lord 2014.
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Aug 5, 2014 21:24
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waitwhatno posted:god have mercy on your soul if you are doing chuck norris jokes in the year of our lord 2014.
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Aug 5, 2014 23:03
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I cucked Norris. Fact
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Aug 8, 2014 20:31
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Chuck Norris ate my balls
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Aug 8, 2014 21:33
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Chuck Norris kicked Mr. T. 's van and only got cucked twice.
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Aug 8, 2014 21:37
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Old memes are old. And stupid. Gas op.
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Aug 8, 2014 22:00
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this thread is not going over very well, make a new one about cucking or skeletons
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Aug 9, 2014 02:02
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Cuck Norris sensually tossed my salad, Walker Texas Ranger style, while I hosed his wife with my Black & Decker beaver wrecker. Why? Because he's Cuck Norris. that'll be all enjoy the drinks and stuff gas thread im gay
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Aug 9, 2014 02:48
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im gay would cuck norris gently caress my boyfriend/husband/fuckbuddy while excluding me from said act of homosexual coitus
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Aug 9, 2014 02:49
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Last edited 23 days ago by Rreagan007 Chuck Norris For the American politician, see Chuck Norris (politician). Chuck Norris Norris visits deployed Airmen from the 386th Air Expeditionary Wing in Southwest Asia in 2007. Born Carlos Ray Norris March 10, 1940 (age 74) Ryan, Oklahoma, U.S. Occupation Actor, martial artist Years active 1968–present Spouse(s) Dianne Holechek (1958–88) Gena O'Kelley (1998–present) Children 5 Website https://www.chucknorris.com Chuck Norris Style Chun Kuk Do, Tang Soo Do, Taekwondo, Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, Judo Rank 10th degree black belt Chun Kuk Do 9th degree black belt Tang Soo Do 8th degree black belt Taekwondo black belt Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu black belt Judo Carlos Ray "Chuck" Norris (born March 10, 1940) is an American martial artist and actor. After serving in the United States Air Force, he began his rise to fame as a martial artist, and has since founded his own school, Chun Kuk Do. Norris appeared in a number of action films, such as Way of the Dragon, in which he starred alongside Bruce Lee, and was The Cannon Group's leading star in the 1980s.[1][2] He played the starring role in the television series Walker, Texas Ranger from 1993 until 2001. Norris is a devout Christian and politically conservative. He has written several books on Christianity and donated to a number of Republican candidates and causes. In 2007 and 2008, he campaigned for former Arkansas Governor Mike Huckabee, who was running for the Republican nomination for president in 2008.[3] Norris also writes a column for the conservative website WorldNetDaily.[4] Since 2005 Norris has been widely associated with an internet meme which documents fictional and often absurd feats associated with him. Early life Norris was born in Ryan, Oklahoma on March 10, 1940,[5] the son of Wilma (née Scarberry) and Ray Norris, who was a mechanic, bus driver, and truck driver.[6] Norris has English, and smaller amounts of Scottish, Welsh, and German, ancestry; he is also said to have Cherokee roots.[1][7][8] Norris was named after Carlos Berry, his father's minister.[9] He has two younger brothers, Wieland (deceased) and Aaron (a Hollywood producer). When Norris was sixteen, his parents divorced,[10] and he later relocated to Prairie Village, Kansas, and then to Torrance, California, with his mother and brothers.[1] Norris has described his childhood as downbeat. He was nonathletic, shy, and scholastically mediocre.[11] He joined the United States Air Force as an Air Policeman (AP) in 1958 and was sent to Osan Air Base, South Korea. It was there that Norris acquired the nickname Chuck and began his training in Tang Soo Do (tangsudo), an interest that led to black belts in that art and the founding of the Chun Kuk Do ("Universal Way") form.[12] When he returned to the United States, he continued to act as an AP at March Air Force Base in California. Norris was discharged in August 1962. He worked for the Northrop Corporation and opened a chain of Karate schools including a storefront school in his then-hometown of Torrance on Hawthorne Boulevard. Norris' official website lists celebrity clients at the schools; among them Steve McQueen, Chad McQueen, Bob Barker, Priscilla Presley, Donny Osmond and Marie Osmond.[13] Martial arts career Norris in 1976 Norris on the set of the film The Delta Force (1986) Norris was defeated in his first two tournaments, dropping decisions to Joe Lewis and Allen Steen and three matches at the International Karate Championships to Tony Tulleners. By 1967 Norris had improved enough that he scored victories over the likes of Lewis, Skipper Mullins, Arnold Urquidez, Victor Moore, Ron Marchini, and Steve Sanders. In early 1968, Norris suffered the tenth and last loss of his career, losing an upset decision to Louis Delgado. On November 24, 1968, he avenged his defeat to Delgado and by doing so won the Professional Middleweight Karate champion title, which he held for six consecutive years.[10] In 1969, he won Karate's triple crown for the most tournament wins of the year, and the Fighter of the Year award by Black Belt Magazine. Norris made history in 1990 when he was the first Westerner in the documented history of Tae Kwon Do to be given the rank of 8th Degree Black Belt Grand Master.[14] In 1999, Norris was inducted into the Martial Arts History Museum's Hall of Fame. On July 1, 2000, Norris was presented the Golden Lifetime Achievement Award by the World Karate Union Hall of Fame. Acting career Rise to fame Norris receiving the Veteran of the Year award by the U.S. Air Force in 2001 In 1969, Norris made his acting debut in the Dean Martin film The Wrecking Crew. In June 1970, his younger brother Wieland, a private in the 101st Airborne Division, was killed in Vietnam while on patrol in the defense of Firebase Ripcord.[15] Norris later dedicated his Missing in Action films to his brother's memory. At a martial arts demonstration in Long Beach, Norris met the martial artist Bruce Lee. In 1972, he acted as Lee's nemesis in the movie Way of the Dragon (titled Return of the Dragon in its U.S. distribution), which is widely credited with launching him toward stardom. In Asia, Norris is still known primarily for this role. In 1974, McQueen encouraged him to begin acting classes at MGM. Norris' first starring role was 1977's Breaker! Breaker!, and subsequent films such as Good Guys Wear Black (1978), The Octagon (1980), An Eye for an Eye (1981), and Lone Wolf McQuade proved his increasing box office bankability. In 1984, Norris starred in Missing in Action, the first of a series of Rambo-inspired POW rescue fantasies themed around the Vietnam War POW/MIA issue that were produced by Israeli cousins Menahem Golan and Yoram Globus and released under their Cannon Films banner. The film, however, was criticized heavily as being a preemptive cash-in on the Rambo film series.[16][17] Over the next four years, Norris became Cannon's most prominent star, appearing in eight films, including Code of Silence, The Delta Force, and Firewalker, in which he co-starred with Academy Award winner Louis Gossett, Jr.. Many of the aforementioned films were produced by Chuck Norris's brother Aaron, as were several episodes of Walker, Texas Ranger. In 1986, he was involved in the production of the Ruby Spears cartoon Karate Kommandos. Walker, Texas Ranger By the end of the 1980s, Cannon Films had faded from prominence, and Norris's star appeal seemed to go with it. He reprised his Delta Force role for MGM, which had acquired the Cannon library after the latter's Chapter 11 bankruptcy. Norris went on to make several more films before making a transition to television.[18] In 1993, he began shooting the series Walker, Texas Ranger, which lasted eight years on CBS and continued in heavy syndication on other channels, notably the Hallmark Channel. On October 17, 2005, CBS premiered the Sunday Night Movie of the Week, Walker, Texas Ranger: Trial by Fire. The production was a continuation of the series, and not scripted to be a reunion movie. Norris reprised his role as Cordell Walker for the movie. He has stated that future Walker, Texas Ranger Movie of the Week projects are expected; however, this was severely impaired by CBS's 2006–2007 season decision to no longer regularly schedule Movies of the Week on Sunday night. Product endorsements Norris has appeared with Christie Brinkley in a long-running series of cable TV infomercials promoting Total Gym home fitness equipment. In 2010, Norris appeared in advertisements for communications company T-Mobile in the Czech Republic.[19] In 2011, Norris appeared in advertisements for the World of Warcraft video game.[20] In 2012, Norris appeared in a series of commercials for the Polish bank BZ WBK.[21] Chun Kuk Do Main article: Chun Kuk Do Norris created the martial art Chun Kuk Do, which is based primarily on Tang Soo Do and includes elements from every combat style he knows. Like many other martial arts, Chun Kuk Do includes a code of honor and rules to live by. These rules are from Chuck Norris's personal code. They are:[citation needed] I will develop myself to the maximum of my potential in all ways. I will forget the mistakes of the past and press on to greater achievements. I will continually work at developing love, happiness and loyalty in my family. I will look for the good in all people and make them feel worthwhile. If I have nothing good to say about a person, I will say nothing. I will always be as enthusiastic about the success of others as I am about my own. I will maintain an attitude of open-mindedness. I will maintain respect for those in authority and demonstrate this respect at all times. I will always remain loyal to my God, my country, family and my friends. I will remain highly goal-oriented throughout my life because that positive attitude helps my family, my country and myself.[citation needed] Personal life Family Norris married Dianne Holechek in 1958. In 1963 their first child, Mike, was born. His daughter Dina was born in 1964 to a woman he was not married to.[22] Then, he had a second son, Eric, with his wife in 1965. After 30 years of marriage, Norris and Holechek divorced in 1988. In November 1998, he married former model Gena O'Kelley, born in 1963 and 23 years Norris' junior. O'Kelley had two children from a previous marriage. She delivered twins in 2001: Dakota Alan Norris, a boy, and Danilee Kelly Norris, a girl.[23] The wedding was performed by Lawrence Kennedy, who is featured in Norris' autobiography.[24] On September 22, 2004, Norris told Entertainment Tonight's Mary Hart that his daughter Dina was the result of an extramarital affair. He did not meet her until she was 26, although she learned that he was her father when she was 16. She sent a letter to his home informing him of their relationship. After meeting her, Norris said he knew she was his daughter upon seeing her.[25] Chuck Norris has nine grandchildren.[26] Christianity An outspoken Christian,[27] Norris is the author of several Christian-themed books, such as The Justice Riders. He has also been in a few TV commercials promoting Bible study and prayer in public schools, in addition to efforts to reduce drug use. In his WorldNetDaily columns, he has expressed his belief in Biblical creationism,[28] that those who are troubled should turn to Jesus, and is quoted as saying "true patriots" do not stay clear of discussing religion and politics.[29] On April 22, 2008, Chuck Norris expressed his support for the intelligent design movement when he reviewed Ben Stein's Expelled for Townhall.com.[30] Martial arts and personal fitness Norris has received a brown belt in Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu from the Machado family.[31] In his February 15, 2010 WorldNetDaily column, Norris announced that, starting in the fall of 2010, he will begin a second weekly column for Creators Syndicate. This new column, "C-Force", will focus on personal fitness.[32] Activism Philanthropy In addition to being an actor, Chuck Norris is also a philanthropist. He is known for his contribution towards organizations such as Funds for Kids, Veteran's Administration National Salute to Hospitalized Veterans, the United Way, and the Make-A-Wish Foundation in the form of donations as well as fund-raising activities.[33] His time with the U.S. Veterans Administration as a spokesperson was inspired by his experience serving the United States Air Force in Korea. His objective has been to popularize the issues such as Pensions and Health care, that concern hospitalized war veterans. Due to his significant contributions, and continued patriotism, he received the Veteran of the Year award in 2001 at the American Veteran Awards.[33] Norris also established the United Fighting Arts Federation and KickStart in 1990. As a significant part of his philanthropic contributions, the organization was formed to develop self-esteem and focus in at-risk children as a tactic to keep them away from drug-related pressure by training them in martial arts. Norris hopes that by shifting middle school and high school children's focus towards this positive and strengthening endeavour, these children will have the opportunity to build a better future for themselves.[33][34] In 2005, Norris founded the World Combat League (WCL), a full-contact, team-based martial arts competition, of which part of the proceeds are given to his KickStart program.[33] Additionally, Norris supports the Vijay Amritraj Foundation, which aims at bringing hope, help and healing to the defenceless and innocent victims of disease, tragedy and circumstance in India. Through his donations, he has helped the foundation support Paediatric HIV/AIDS homes in Delhi, a blind school in Karnataka, and a mission that cares for HIV/AIDS infected adults, as well as mentally ill patients in Cochin.[35] Political views Norris with former Presidential candidate Mike Huckabee in Londonderry, New Hampshire Norris is a Republican, and has donated more than $32,000 to Republican candidates and organizations since 1988.[36] Norris supports gun rights and ownership, and is against public schools celebrating the Day of Silence, an event held annually in support of LGBT students and LGBT rights.[37] In 2006, Norris began penning a column for the conservative news website WorldNetDaily, sharing his "musings about faith, family, freedom, country, loyalty – maybe even kickboxing." On October 22, 2007, Norris announced his endorsement of Arkansas Governor Mike Huckabee for President.[38] Norris said, "I believe the only one who has all of the characteristics to lead America forward into the future is ex-Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee."[39] After the 2008 presidential election, Norris drafted a letter to President-elect Barack Obama, stating that he should "use and cite the Constitution ... protect American life ... learn from the mistakes of your Democratic predecessors ... [and] lead more from the center".[40] On November 18, 2008, Norris became one of the first members of show business to express support for the California Proposition 8 ban on same-sex marriage, and he chided activists for "interfering" with the democratic process and the double standard he perceived in criticizing the LDS Church without criticizing African Americans, who had voted for the measure by a wide margin.[41] During the 2012 presidential election, Norris first recommended Ron Paul, and then later formally endorsed Newt Gingrich as the Republican presidential candidate.[42] After Gingrich suspended his campaign in May 2012, Norris endorsed Republican presumptive nominee Mitt Romney, despite Norris having previously accused Romney of flip-flopping and of trying to buy the nomination for the Republican Party candidacy for 2012.[43][44] On the eve of the election he and his wife Gina made a video warning that if evangelicals didn't show up at the polls and vote out President Obama, "...our country as we know it may be lost forever...".[45][46] Norris also produced the film Answering the Call, which featured his 2007 trip to Iraq to visit the troops.[47][48] Honors Norris during a promotion ceremony at Camp Taqaddum in the Al Anbar province of Iraq on November 2, 2006 On March 28, 2007, Commandant Gen. James T. Conway made Norris an honorary United States Marine during a dinner at the commandant's residence in Washington, D.C.[49] On December 2, 2010, he (along with brother Aaron) was given the title honorary Texas Ranger by Texas Governor Rick Perry.[50] Internet meme Main article: Chuck Norris facts
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Aug 9, 2014 02:53
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quote:Norris is a Republican, and has donated more than $32,000 to Republican candidates and organizations since 1988.[36] Norris supports gun rights and ownership, and is against public schools celebrating the Day of Silence, an event held annually in support of LGBT students and LGBT rights.[37] lol
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Aug 9, 2014 02:55
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ilikedirt posted:Last edited 23 days ago by Rreagan007 Yeah but whats his THAC0?
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Aug 9, 2014 02:56
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chuck igNORR this thread
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Aug 9, 2014 03:00
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ilikedirt posted:Last edited 23 days ago by Rreagan007 thats a lot of chuck norris facts
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Aug 9, 2014 03:35
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good poo poo my man
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Sep 4, 2014 04:52
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the only one i still like and will tell once in a blue moon: chuck norris can believe it's not butter
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Sep 5, 2014 05:39
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Hi again, posting from the gas chamber!
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Sep 5, 2014 08:30
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read nothing in this thread shameful OP, shameful...
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Sep 5, 2014 08:36
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Cuck Norris doesn't sleep; he waits. When Cuck Norris goes swimming, he doesn't get wet, the water gets Chuck Norris. I/m gay Cuck Norris counted to infinity. Twice.
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Sep 5, 2014 09:09
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op this thread was a pretty lovely idea but also most gbs goons are too scared someone might think they like chuck norris jokes unironically so they will just do poo poo like post a huge image a lot or copy paste a lot of wikipedia entries
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Sep 5, 2014 09:12
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good god i regret my username. what was i thinking. cuck puns are terrible ....i mean i did it on purpose because of irony. yeah
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Sep 5, 2014 10:02
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Benedick Cuckold posted:good god i regret my username. what was i thinking. cuck puns are terrible Mods change this users name to Benedick Handhold
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Sep 5, 2014 10:28
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cuck the police cumin straight from the underground
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Sep 5, 2014 10:29
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yoyodyne posted:Cuck Norris doesn't sleep; he waits. these are not cuck norris jokes goddamn it
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Sep 5, 2014 12:10
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