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gagelion
Jun 13, 2013

by XyloJW


he got us a juicer as our present

which is going pretty hard out for a young person as far as money goes since it's pretty expensive

but anyway I met him for the first time there and got a weird vibe from him

but I was nice and welcoming etc

but towards the end of the night he came over and he said "you might be her husband now, but I have known her for over twenty years and im telling you that you have to take care of her"

and I told him thanks for the concern, but at the end of the day regardless of length of time known, I'm the only man in her life now and he doesn't need to worry about keeping an eye on me

and he reiterates that he's known her for twenty years

and then says "if you ever hurt her, I will kill you"

and I just laugh in a "um, wtf" sort of way

and he goes "im not joking" and puts his hand round the back of my head and grasps it and goes "I will KILL you"

and at that point, I say "Dude, do you want to take your hand off my head?"

"I will KILL you"

"seriously, take your hands off me"

"I will KILL you if you ever hurt her"

"George, get your loving hands off me right now"

at that point, my wife comes over and asks whats going on

he goes back to normal and I decide to try and defuse it by telling her everything is fine and that he is just leaving

I shake his hand and leave it at that, pretend im not loving disgusted, and then as soon as we leave the reception, I tell her what happened, i say to her "he is now 100% gone and he has nothing to do with either of our lives ever again" and I tell her to message him expressing her disapproval

so she messaged him saying "George, next time someone invites you to a wedding and you are eating and drinking on their dollar and their time, please refrain from threatening and being hostile to the groom."

and he replies "You must be kidding, right? Threatening? I was just giving him a friendly warning. I can't help it if he cries about it on your shoulder at home, all I know is that I've known you for a million years and I'm worried about you "

to which she goes "YOU must be kidding, right? You act like that, and now you go ahead after what I just said and actually still have the gall to insult my husband? Not cool."

the thing is though that she gets kind of upset when I've brought it up with her, which she says isn't about this friend in particular but simply that it's a negative memory of the wedding day and she doesn't want it to be the one bad thing that taints everything else that was perfect

and the other day she said "would it settle everything if I just deleted him off Facebook?"

to which I said "yeah that sounds pretty good"

so she did, and he doesn't seem to have noticed yet because he hasn't said anything to her

but a couple of people have said to me that I have her too much under my thumb and that I shouldn't be making unilateral decisions about who she can be friends with and who she should have on facebook and be involved in our lives

and obviously i have my own views about that lol

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RonMexicosPitbull
Feb 28, 2012
BEFORE ENGANGING WITH ME LET ME REMIND YOU THAT I WAS BANNED FROM FYAD FOR BEING A RACIST FUCK


jesus christ i cant believe i read that

Your Rain
Nov 29, 2006
All those born beneath an angry star.

RonMexicosPitbull posted:

jesus christ i cant believe i read that

its ok friend i did too.

but im at work getting paid so i tolerated the anger rising in me

Bumming Your Scene
Dec 29, 2004

L.A. Beast Mode of Anaheim


I WILL FUCKIBG KILL YOU

TOILETLORD
Nov 13, 2012

NO PAPER LEFT


you should kill him and eat his heart.

Spanish Manlove
Aug 31, 2008

LAMIERDAROJA



RonMexicosPitbull posted:

jesus christ i cant believe i read that

lol at reading an OP longer than 140 words, sperglord

Palpek
Dec 27, 2008


Do you feel it, Zach?
My coffee warned
me about it.


sever and therapy

Mud Shark
May 12, 2012


in what world do you not just punch a guy like that

Gaunab
Feb 13, 2012


how are you not on probation for spamming

Miltank
Dec 27, 2009

Rollout. Rollout! ROLLOUT! ROLLOUT!ROLLOUT! ROLLOUT!

holy poo poo you are a major pussy for not standing up for yourself what is wrong with you?

Spanish Manlove
Aug 31, 2008

LAMIERDAROJA



Palpek posted:

sever and therapy

quakster
Jul 21, 2007
Probation
Can't post for 3 days!


op, you sound like a real asslord. perhaps you shouldn't get married to a man you hate

WAMPA_STOMPA
Oct 21, 2010


caress his nutbag, be tender, massage teh taint

Cucking Mama
Sep 27, 2013

Gold Medalist, 2014 shit post olympics


Miltank posted:

holy poo poo you are a major pussy for not standing up for yourself what is wrong with you?

gagelion probably didn't want to cause a scene at his wedding is my guess

App13
Dec 31, 2011



Honestly she sounds like she handled the situation pretty well. It was a lovely thing to happen on your wedding day, but now you can move on.

ethanol
Jul 13, 2007
Probation
Can't post for 3 days!


Pretty good story. Thanks for sharing. Love, the man cucking you

gigawhite
Jul 4, 2005


Test your might, Test your might,
Test your might, Test your might.
MORTAL KOMBAT!
FIGHT!
MORTAL KOMBAT!
(Excellent)
EXCELLENT!
Kano, Liu Kang, Raiden, Johnny Cage,
gagelion, Sub-Zero, Sonya

quakster
Jul 21, 2007
Probation
Can't post for 3 days!


just another day in the life of a facebooker...

Nameless_Steve
Oct 18, 2010


Aside from putting his hand on you, this is a pretty common occurrence. Friendship lasts forever because, according to ponies, friendship is magic. Be mature and brush it off.

Buck Turgidson
Feb 6, 2011


sever (yourself from your penis)

WAMPA_STOMPA
Oct 21, 2010


e/n posts are appearing in gbs an i lvoe it

Demonachizer
Aug 7, 2004



Have your wife blow him a few times and he will relax. She probably is already doing it behind your back.

Neurosis
Jun 10, 2003

All right, all right, spare me your life's story.


Miltank posted:

holy poo poo you are a major pussy for not standing up for yourself what is wrong with you?

yeah punching someone on his wedding day (or at all) sounds like a great idea that won't have any negative effects and will solve all issues

also telling your wife 'this guy has nothing to do with us anymore' sounds very dictatorial and domineering

king salmon
Oct 30, 2011



he wants your cock

concerned mom
Apr 22, 2003


Is this like a embellished reality thread

bitchtard
Dec 3, 2010



That dude wants to gently caress your wife.

Miltank
Dec 27, 2009

Rollout. Rollout! ROLLOUT! ROLLOUT!ROLLOUT! ROLLOUT!

you can tell someone that they need to watch their poo poo and to back off without punching them in the face or causing a big scene generally

e: that dude has wanted ur wife for twenty years and you should have called him on it and laughed at him imo

ethanol
Jul 13, 2007
Probation
Can't post for 3 days!


rotinaj
Sep 4, 2008



You should have led with tearing his heart out, then begun an unholy mass in the middle of the wedding. Try not being a wuss next time.

Shugojin
Sep 6, 2007

ONE HUNDRED CUPS OF SPOOPY


okay

be sure to live tweet his eventual murder if you and your wife

Rather Dashing
Sep 4, 2006

You know. Leather.

Hey OP you don't need to hit return every time you use a full stop, just a little handy advice.

Pomp
Oct 9, 2012



dontcareaboutname posted:

you should kill him and eat his wife out

Hogge Wild
Aug 21, 2012



op, do you understand that hes cucking you

MattO
Oct 10, 2003



You need to poop in the juicer and ship it back to the guy.

Slipknot Hoagie
Jan 5, 2004




Hogge Wild posted:

op, do you understand that hes cucking you

Ehh more like he's the beta that carried a printer for her and never got to go to the mound

Demonachizer
Aug 7, 2004



Slipknot Hoagie posted:

Ehh more like he's the beta that carried a printer for her and never got to go to the mound

If he is a beta, what does that make OP?

Hogge Wild
Aug 21, 2012



Slipknot Hoagie posted:

Ehh more like he's the beta that carried a printer for her and never got to go to the mound

weve only heard ops version

Jerry Mumphrey
Mar 10, 2004


Hogge Wild posted:

op, do you understand that hes cucking you

well he might not have been if you'd manned up and powerbombed him into the wedding cake, but since you pussied out the cuck is gonna run amok.

I recommend sending him a lovely basket of pineapples so his cum is more pleasant for you to eat out of your wife's pussy

Demonachizer
Aug 7, 2004



Jerry Mumphrey posted:

well he might not have been if you'd manned up and powerbombed him into the wedding cake, but since you pussied out the cuck is gonna run amok.

I recommend sending him a lovely basket of pineapples so his cum is more pleasant for you to eat out of your wife's pussy

Rude but true.

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Minimalist Program
Aug 13, 2010

When February comes, sister will get that extra love she needs - if you know what I mean...


gagelion posted:

he got us a juicer as our present

which is going pretty hard out for a young person as far as money goes since it's pretty expensive

but anyway I met him for the first time there and got a weird vibe from him

but I was nice and welcoming etc

but towards the end of the night he came over and he said "you might be her husband now, but I have known her for over twenty years and im telling you that you have to take care of her"

and I told him thanks for the concern, but at the end of the day regardless of length of time known, I'm the only man in her life now and he doesn't need to worry about keeping an eye on me

and he reiterates that he's known her for twenty years

and then says "if you ever hurt her, I will kill you"

and I just laugh in a "um, wtf" sort of way

and he goes "im not joking" and puts his hand round the back of my head and grasps it and goes "I will KILL you"

and at that point, I say "Dude, do you want to take your hand off my head?"

"I will KILL you"

"seriously, take your hands off me"

"I will KILL you if you ever hurt her"

"George, get your loving hands off me right now"

at that point, my wife comes over and asks whats going on

he goes back to normal and I decide to try and defuse it by telling her everything is fine and that he is just leaving

I shake his hand and leave it at that, pretend im not loving disgusted, and then as soon as we leave the reception, I tell her what happened, i say to her "he is now 100% gone and he has nothing to do with either of our lives ever again" and I tell her to message him expressing her disapproval

so she messaged him saying "George, next time someone invites you to a wedding and you are eating and drinking on their dollar and their time, please refrain from threatening and being hostile to the groom."

and he replies "You must be kidding, right? Threatening? I was just giving him a friendly warning. I can't help it if he cries about it on your shoulder at home, all I know is that I've known you for a million years and I'm worried about you "

to which she goes "YOU must be kidding, right? You act like that, and now you go ahead after what I just said and actually still have the gall to insult my husband? Not cool."

the thing is though that she gets kind of upset when I've brought it up with her, which she says isn't about this friend in particular but simply that it's a negative memory of the wedding day and she doesn't want it to be the one bad thing that taints everything else that was perfect

and the other day she said "would it settle everything if I just deleted him off Facebook?"

to which I said "yeah that sounds pretty good"

so she did, and he doesn't seem to have noticed yet because he hasn't said anything to her

but a couple of people have said to me that I have her too much under my thumb and that I shouldn't be making unilateral decisions about who she can be friends with and who she should have on facebook and be involved in our lives

and obviously i have my own views about that lol

prepare to be cucked, dude.

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