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tomstuart
Aug 1, 2006

First we make sex, create. . . babies. And then, yes, and then . . . we eat.


I mean, how do some folks end up as, for example, riverboat captains or master cabinet makers? Do you just one day up and decide I'm going to study and train to be a riverboat captain? Is it because your father made cabinets and worked with wood and so now you will too?

What I'm really trying to ask is how do you think you could get an unusual job such as:
  1. Batman's Assistant
  2. Janitor at the white house
  3. Electrician for high security government projects
  4. Bill Gates' plumber
  5. Your dead gay son
  6. Hot dog restaurant owner in Reform, AL
  7. Owner of video game company that doesn't produce video games
  8. Owner/operator of a failed comedy forums website
  9. Star-Trek enthusiast, forums moderator, and pedophile

There are many other jobs out there that would be interesting but these are just a few that I could think of. How does one get these jobs?

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dad gay. so what
Feb 18, 2003



they learn them from their fathers you pathetic manchild

Seat Safety Switch
May 27, 2008

Ask me about my slow EJ25.

You have to pay your dues. I worked with this guy for a few years who was a part-time tugboat captain but he never had the chops to pass the exam. Ended up migrating into dockside prostitution in the end. Said it was more of a growth industry.

Hobohemian
Sep 29, 2005
Nope

They have friends. Maybe one day you will know what that's like too if you start to bathe, shave and brush your teeth more than once a month.

President Ark
May 16, 2010

Looks like you got a good deal there!

Probably the same place that you got your "make lovely posts" job from.

tomstuart
Aug 1, 2006

First we make sex, create. . . babies. And then, yes, and then . . . we eat.


dad gay. so what posted:

they learn them from their fathers you pathetic manchild

ah yes

i am a forums moderator like my father before me

tomstuart
Aug 1, 2006

First we make sex, create. . . babies. And then, yes, and then . . . we eat.


Hobohemian posted:

They have friends. Maybe one day you will know what that's like too if you start to bathe, shave and brush your teeth more than once a month.

none of my friends have jobs like deep sea diver or hod dog purveyor

dad gay. so what
Feb 18, 2003



tomstuart posted:

ah yes

i am a forums moderator like my father before me

good for you, you pathetic manchild

Rambling Robot
Sep 13, 2011

The Master's Art is indeed not made for plebeians.


F - I : goon money.

tomstuart
Aug 1, 2006

First we make sex, create. . . babies. And then, yes, and then . . . we eat.


Rambling Robot posted:

F - I : goon money.

how many american dreams have been realized because goons are bad with money? many

Obscuritatem
Sep 18, 2009

Gleaming the Cube


i'll give you an unusual job but i want cash up front.

Kleen_TheRowdyDog
Feb 17, 2014


jewish nepotism

a hole-y ghost
May 10, 2010



the more cum you keep in your enchanted cumvase the more likely you are to get a Weird JOB.... Cool!

turdriver
May 31, 2014

by XyloJW


suck a buncha dick

thylacine
Dec 30, 2008

ride bikes everyday


They know how to bullshit themselves into those positions.

tomstuart
Aug 1, 2006

First we make sex, create. . . babies. And then, yes, and then . . . we eat.


a hole-y ghost posted:

the more cum you keep in your enchanted cumvase the more likely you are to get a Weird JOB.... Cool!

just got a weird smell, hth

mookface
Jun 7, 2009

Diane! I'm holding in my hand a box of small chocolate bunnies.


I googled it

Spanish Manlove
Aug 31, 2008

LAMIERDAROJA



i had an internship at the dick sucking factory and they hired me on full time when it was over

dad gay. so what
Feb 18, 2003



I got into dick sucking because it was our family business for 3 generations

naem
May 29, 2011



thylacine posted:

They know how to bullshit themselves into those positions.

This plus being weirdly handsome like a dept store manikin

pfs Write
Jun 29, 2014

get/save/remove


tomstuart posted:

such as:
  1. Batman's Assistant
  2. Janitor at the white house
  3. Electrician for high security government projects
  4. Bill Gates' plumber
  5. Your dead gay son
  6. Hot dog restaurant owner in Reform, AL
  7. Owner of video game company that doesn't produce video games
  8. Owner/operator of a failed comedy forums website
  9. Star-Trek enthusiast, forums moderator, and pedophile

hm coincidence that aatrek reference is "i" is this proof of parachute account? tomatuart is aatrek?

also looking for unusual jobs because unemployable...

tomstuart
Aug 1, 2006

First we make sex, create. . . babies. And then, yes, and then . . . we eat.


dad gay. so what posted:

I got into dick sucking because it was our family business for 3 generations

its amazing your family line has continued when all the seed gets swallowed, makes you think

tomstuart
Aug 1, 2006

First we make sex, create. . . babies. And then, yes, and then . . . we eat.


pfs Write posted:

hm coincidence that aatrek reference is "i" is this proof of parachute account? tomatuart is aatrek?

also looking for unusual jobs because unemployable...

i dont like star trek nearly enough to be aatrek, also i dont wear glasses, gotcha beat

mookface
Jun 7, 2009

Diane! I'm holding in my hand a box of small chocolate bunnies.


tomstuart posted:

i dont like star trek nearly enough to be aatrek, also i dont wear glasses, gotcha beat

You don't wear glasses or like star trek but you didn't say anything about not being a pedophile

pfs Write
Jun 29, 2014

get/save/remove


tomstuart posted:

i dont like star trek nearly enough to be aatrek, also i dont wear glasses, gotcha beat

fiddlesticks

tomstuart
Aug 1, 2006

First we make sex, create. . . babies. And then, yes, and then . . . we eat.


mookface posted:

You don't wear glasses or like star trek but you didn't say anything about not being a pedophile

liking star trek is a prerequisite to being a pedophile

Bumming Your Scene
Dec 29, 2004

L.A. Beast Mode of Anaheim


I have sometimes wondered this too op. Like I wonder who would hire this guy at a pick a part place that runs the entrance booth. He looks completely suicidal, and doesn't form whole sentences. It cost 2 dollars to get in, but he can't even say "Two dollars". He just says "two". And he only says it once. If you ask him what he said he just stares away from you until you give him 2 dollars.

Did that guy have an interview?

Fandyien
Feb 10, 2012

Delicious


tomstuart
Aug 1, 2006

First we make sex, create. . . babies. And then, yes, and then . . . we eat.


Bumming Your Scene posted:

I have sometimes wondered this too op. Like I wonder who would hire this guy at a pick a part place that runs the entrance booth. He looks completely suicidal, and doesn't form whole sentences. It cost 2 dollars to get in, but he can't even say "Two dollars". He just says "two". And he only says it once. If you ask him what he said he just stares away from you until you give him 2 dollars.

Did that guy have an interview?

Yeah its like, do some folks just roll around and submit an application at random places with "We're Hiring" signs and just fudge through the interview process?

If you've never washed a window, how do you become a high rise window washer? Maybe you need climbing experience or maybe its just something they can train you to do; however, it seems like the kind of thing that they may want you to have working knowledge of.

1gnoirents
Jun 28, 2014


Hmmm, a rare pro gif spotted

Also the answer to most of those is pretty obvious. Especially any government ones, you apply for them. The rest, almost always, are you knew someone and they were like "hey you want to be a pedophile and forums moderator" "ok"

tomstuart
Aug 1, 2006

First we make sex, create. . . babies. And then, yes, and then . . . we eat.



so thats the first step in the apprenticeship to becoming a living sonic toilet, thanks

RedMage129
Nov 4, 2008


White privilege.

Ruby got Railed
Sep 29, 2001




my grandpappy was a dicksucker, my daddy was a dick sucker, i suck dicks for minimum wage, and dadgumit son, youre gonna suck a dick and help this family out

tomstuart
Aug 1, 2006

First we make sex, create. . . babies. And then, yes, and then . . . we eat.


RedMage129 posted:

White privilege.

Thin privilege got me my job as a person that sneaks through bars in gates/iron fences to open latches from the inside.

Thin privilege is fitting through spaces smaller than a toddler's head.

Copley Depot
Jul 9, 2009

This space reserved for future text.

Bumming Your Scene posted:

I have sometimes wondered this too op. Like I wonder who would hire this guy at a pick a part place that runs the entrance booth. He looks completely suicidal, and doesn't form whole sentences. It cost 2 dollars to get in, but he can't even say "Two dollars". He just says "two". And he only says it once. If you ask him what he said he just stares away from you until you give him 2 dollars.

Did that guy have an interview?

this is me irl

tomstuart
Aug 1, 2006

First we make sex, create. . . babies. And then, yes, and then . . . we eat.


Ruby got Railed posted:

my grandpappy was a dicksucker, my daddy was a dick sucker, i suck dicks for minimum wage, and dadgumit son, youre gonna suck a dick and help this family out

i imagine they all just set up chairs like in a barber shop but instead of goin round back for the haircut they kneel down on one of those gardening pads and get to work


also when they come home they are covered in soot like a coal miner but instead of black soot its white dust

never trust an elf
Aug 30, 2005


What are some Weird Goon Jobs? Let's here em freakazoids

Volume
May 2, 2008

Now I don't know how you guys do it but when I'm in my underwear I like to have a good time.

It's all in who you know. My dude knew some dudes who owned and operated their own Bio-hazard Cleaning Company. One day they needed help for a big job and I signed up. They liked my work kept on hiring me on for more. That's how I came to clean up crime scenes and horder houses for a year.

1gnoirents
Jun 28, 2014


Bumming Your Scene posted:

I have sometimes wondered this too op. Like I wonder who would hire this guy at a pick a part place that runs the entrance booth. He looks completely suicidal, and doesn't form whole sentences. It cost 2 dollars to get in, but he can't even say "Two dollars". He just says "two". And he only says it once. If you ask him what he said he just stares away from you until you give him 2 dollars.

Did that guy have an interview?

no, they are placed by agencies. its not exactly a temp agency, but in reality its the same thing. doing booths and poo poo like that in particular, always contract work

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tomstuart
Aug 1, 2006

First we make sex, create. . . babies. And then, yes, and then . . . we eat.


never trust an elf posted:

What are some Weird Goon Jobs? Let's here em freakazoids

i just have a normal goon job

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