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LaTex Fetish
Oct 11, 2010

If only I could get her to sharpen me axe!


so I have a gamer friend who is a grown man. Sometimes I go over to his place and play games. Eventually at some point during the night he will start squirming around. Like rocking back and forth and sometimes just around in circles. His eyes are intently on the screen and he is leaning forward. I have to tell him "Dude, go to the bathroom" and the only thing he will say is "Oh, yeah" before darting to go piss. When he was younger he actually pissed himself when I was there.

He dresses semi-nice and talks about how smart he is and how so much better than everyone he is at his grocery store job and how someday he will make it.

One time I went into his place and his girlfriend was just there, naked on the bed and sleeping face down. I could see her rear end and as soon as I walked into the room I walked right back out. She was very gross and approaching 350 pounds. He told me it was fine and to just come in. She later woke up, looked at me, got up and tried to sexy-walk away. I made up an excuse to leave. I never saw her again and my friend said she was just a friend.

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Endorph
Jul 22, 2009

You are all DOOMED



posts on imp zone

Tragic Fat Detective
Jul 11, 2002

           soulja boy tell em

Jackie D
May 27, 2009

Democracy is like a tambourine - not everyone can be trusted with it.



im a gamer

Hoodrich
Feb 4, 2011




Silver Alicorn
Mar 30, 2008

I'll get to it eventually.


it's you, OP

LaTex Fetish
Oct 11, 2010

If only I could get her to sharpen me axe!



w-we're friends no-now?

Zoq-Fot-Pik
Jun 27, 2008

Frungy!


He sounds cool dude.

Y-Hat
Feb 10, 2007

I'll get you, I'll burn you, I'll crush you, I'll flush you down, down
The toilet where you'll spiral around, round
Awwww tick... tick tick tick


this is a bad premise. gamers don't have friends

Ristolaz
Sep 29, 2005




I wish he was my gamer friend.

Wormskull
Aug 23, 2009



Ristolaz posted:

I wish he was my gamer friend.

Same here.

Zoq-Fot-Pik
Jun 27, 2008

Frungy!


Ristolaz posted:

I wish he was my gamer friend.

Skylark
Apr 27, 2007

The stars are captured as they fall to the sea, the light the water is receiving
I haven't caught their kind of light in me


My gamer friend wears a fedora unironically... Enough said. drat good at TF2 however, and thankfully he is not into MRA or PUA.

Hoodrich
Feb 4, 2011




Skylark posted:

My gamer friend wears a fedora unironically... Enough said. drat good at TF2 however, and thankfully he is not into MRA or PUA.

lmao

Zoq-Fot-Pik
Jun 27, 2008

Frungy!


Skylark posted:

My gamer friend wears a fedora unironically... Enough said. drat good at TF2 however, and thankfully he is not into MRA or PUA.

Widestancer
Mar 29, 2014

Attention Whore of Babylon



Skylark posted:

My gamer friend wears a fedora unironically... Enough said. drat good at TF2 however, and thankfully he is not into MRA or PUA.

Wormskull
Aug 23, 2009



Skylark posted:

My gamer friend wears a fedora unironically... Enough said. drat good at TF2 however, and thankfully he is not into MRA or PUA.

*nods* Sounds like my mate Mike The Guy in the Hat from FunForFreedom, known for looking like a sickly AIDs-ridden homo at Zeldathon.

Hoodrich
Feb 4, 2011




Mike the Guy

Hoodrich
Feb 4, 2011




Pat the NES Punk

Hoodrich
Feb 4, 2011




Wormskull posted:

*nods* Sounds like my mate Mike The Guy in the Hat from FunForFreedom, known for looking like a sickly AIDs-ridden homo at Zeldathon.

Wormskull
Aug 23, 2009




I'm just joking, Mike's a good guy. And he stopped wearing the fedora.

Pewdiepie
Oct 31, 2010



Hoodrich posted:

Pat the NES Punk

That guys cool.

WanderingMinstrel I
Mar 31, 2010

Gotta Catch 'Em All


My only gamer friend is my coworker and she still has a hard time with non isometric games. But its cool we dork out about diablo builds and PoE.

Elijah.
Feb 11, 2007

all of your troubles are dead and gone~


Pewdiepie posted:

That guys cool.

He's not

Elijah.
Feb 11, 2007

all of your troubles are dead and gone~


WanderingMinstrel I posted:

My only gamer friend is my coworker and she still has a hard time with non isometric games. But its cool we dork out about diablo builds and PoE.

bjork ftw

maev
Dec 6, 2010

Ask me about bearing the word


My gamer friend talks constantly about all the video games yet refuses to play them. Talks about Ultima games being the best games, links nethack spoilers, talks about the good old days of vanilla wow and is a general gamer snob.

the only game he ever plays is football manager

DoubleDonut
Oct 22, 2010



Screams over video games and has the word "pew" in his loving username

I mean he's not MY friend but presumably he's someone's friend

Elijah.
Feb 11, 2007

all of your troubles are dead and gone~


maev posted:

My gamer friend talks constantly about all the video games yet refuses to play them. Talks about Ultima games being the best games, links nethack spoilers, talks about the good old days of vanilla wow and is a general gamer snob.

the only game he ever plays is football manager

He sounds cool as hell and would rather him post here

Pewdiepie
Oct 31, 2010



Elijah. posted:

He's not

But Rocks Hurt Head
Jun 30, 2003



my gamer friend joined le MDE subreddit

George
Nov 27, 2004

No love for your made-up things.


my gamer friend comes online to tell me i should be playing a different game

Grim
Sep 11, 2003

HEX Gon' Give It to Ya


always suggests that we play a loving boardgame or some other dumb poo poo when people are trying to come up with not-boring plans

Grim
Sep 11, 2003

HEX Gon' Give It to Ya


NOBODY GIVES A poo poo ABOUT YOUR ARTISANAL BESPOKE loving THING THAT WILL TAKE HOURS TO DO AND WILL SUCK

Fargield
Sep 27, 2008





BaconDonut FTW

Ekster
Jul 18, 2013



please don't helldump me OP

The Protagonist
Jun 29, 2009

Entropy comin'


Ekster posted:

please don't helldump me OP

Wormskull
Aug 23, 2009



Fargield posted:

BaconDonut FTW

Mung Dynasty
Jul 19, 2003

Why do the peasants slave while the emperor gets to eat all the mung?!


all my gamer friends are online only

its all u guys

Sito
Apr 25, 2013


i don't have any friends, op

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Dick Spacious CPA
Oct 10, 2012



triforce tattooed on the right wrist, apple-style keyboard tatted across his shoulder blades, hair pulled back into a ponytail. 2 dogs named after characters from the hit showtime series Dexter. that's my gamer friend

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