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Robo Reagan
Feb 12, 2012
Probation
Can't post for 2 hours!


after about 30 minutes she starts licking her own rear end in a top hat/vagina and it's awkward and i put her back on the floor but really i'd like to get her to stop can any goon recommend something i'm considering dabbing a bit of ghost pepper sauce on her holes that will probably fix the problem

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turdriver
May 31, 2014

by XyloJW


if ur dog fits on ur lap u have a purse rat

FAGGY CLAUSE
Apr 9, 2011



when my dog does this i push her muzzle away from her naughty bits and start licking her myself while she gives me doe eyes

also its actually quite tasty when she expresses her anal glands in my mouth its like a gamey beef jerkey

Crewmine
Apr 26, 2012


put dog in sack throw sack in river

Robo Reagan
Feb 12, 2012
Probation
Can't post for 2 hours!


turdriver posted:

if ur dog fits on ur lap u have a purse rat

it's a chihuahua terrier mix so yes

Benito Hitlerstalin
Nov 5, 2008

We are not so very different, you and I.


Duuude she's clearly into you take a hint man

Smokey
Feb 8, 2008

brb a nigga gotta doo doo


surprise sex it

turdriver
May 31, 2014

by XyloJW


Robo Reagan posted:

it's a chihuahua terrier mix so yes
chihuahuas are awful and should be punted into the trash

Robo Reagan
Feb 12, 2012
Probation
Can't post for 2 hours!


turdriver posted:

chihuahuas are awful and should be punted into the trash

that's cool but she's actually an energetic thing that loves everyone including you the only problem is aforementioned vagina/rear end licking

Three Olives
Apr 10, 2005

All you need is Love.


Can someone explain to me what is up with crazy as gently caress dogs? Mine are chill as gently caress, they will chill out under a patio table or just walk on by other dogs on the street barely acknowledging them like 90% of the other dogs we see every day but there are like 10% that freak the gently caress out and aggressively go after mine who are like WTF get away from me we want to keep on walking and don't give a gently caress about you.

What's up with that? Are people just lovely to their dogs and make them assholes or do a fraction of dogs just have crazy mean personalities that just want to wreck other dogs nice afternoon walks.

Zzulu
May 15, 2009

Revengeful corpse out to kill Smell the stench, your guts will spill
Vomit for a mind, maggots for a cock With his axe the corpse will chop


yes

Dr Strangepants
Nov 26, 2003

Mein Führer! I can dance!

Saalkin
Jun 29, 2008

GREAT RACK


Smokey posted:

surprise sex it

this bitch right here gotta go post more.

also kill it and wear its head as a hat.

Saalkin fucked around with this message at Aug 7, 2014 around 17:58

NiceGuy
Dec 13, 2006

The skin that drips down
Off the tree
Or peels back slowly
From your knee
Erupts into your lung
and heart
You laugh and laughing,
Fall apart



edit:

Three Olives posted:

Can someone explain to me what is up with crazy as gently caress dogs? Mine are chill as gently caress, they will chill out under a patio table or just walk on by other dogs on the street barely acknowledging them like 90% of the other dogs we see every day but there are like 10% that freak the gently caress out and aggressively go after mine who are like WTF get away from me we want to keep on walking and don't give a gently caress about you.

What's up with that? Are people just lovely to their dogs and make them assholes or do a fraction of dogs just have crazy mean personalities that just want to wreck other dogs nice afternoon walks.

I've actually found (in my anecdotal experience) that it's more often the opposite; that the owners of said dogs tend to either baby them and/or not socialize them enough, and they develop an over-protective personality for one or more members of the family that's pretty aggressive. Kind of explains why smaller/toy breeds tend to be of this type more than others.

NiceGuy fucked around with this message at Aug 7, 2014 around 18:02

Saalkin
Jun 29, 2008

GREAT RACK


Three Olives posted:

Can someone explain to me what is up with crazy as gently caress dogs? Mine are chill as gently caress, they will chill out under a patio table or just walk on by other dogs on the street barely acknowledging them like 90% of the other dogs we see every day but there are like 10% that freak the gently caress out and aggressively go after mine who are like WTF get away from me we want to keep on walking and don't give a gently caress about you.

What's up with that? Are people just lovely to their dogs and make them assholes or do a fraction of dogs just have crazy mean personalities that just want to wreck other dogs nice afternoon walks.

my dog is the biggest loving baby in the world but when i take him out on walks he wants to get at every dog ever. who loving knows

FAGGY CLAUSE
Apr 9, 2011



get at me dog

Lawman 0
Aug 17, 2010



turdriver posted:

if ur dog fits on ur lap u have a purse rat

Jerry Mumphrey
Mar 10, 2004


turdriver posted:

if ur dog fits on ur lap u have a purse rat

I used to have a 95 lb Chesapeake Bay retriever that would try to sit on your lap because he had no concept of how big he was and if you let him get up there successfully he would be super uncomfortable and embarrassed

e: once a declawed cat smacked him on the nose and he got so upset that he ran into the corner and threw up

Sam: a good cowardly doge

Robo Reagan
Feb 12, 2012
Probation
Can't post for 2 hours!


Jerry Mumphrey posted:

I used to have a 95 lb Chesapeake Bay retriever that would try to sit on your lap because he had no concept of how big he was and if you let him get up there successfully he would be super uncomfortable and embarrassed

e: once a declawed cat smacked him on the nose and he got so upset that he ran into the corner and threw up

Sam: a good cowardly doge

big dogs that don't know how big they are own

scalded schlong
Sep 20, 2003



is your dog pre-owned

Doctor Butts
May 21, 2002

AFC NORTH PITY FUCK


I dunno, you should try doing something nice for the dog first like taking it out to McDonald's for a hamburger or something.

im pooping!
Nov 17, 2006


Doctor Butts posted:

I dunno, you should try doing something nice for the dog first like taking it out to McDonald's for a hamburger or something.

u r a horrible mostare, mcdonalds is the most unhealthy thing u or ur dog could ever eat and ur a hosed up monstare for even suggesting

Robo Reagan
Feb 12, 2012
Probation
Can't post for 2 hours!


scalded schlong posted:

is your dog pre-owned

yeah i liberated her from my neighbor because she kept escaping because they never gave her any attention and were going to send her to a shelter that euthanizes

Ekster
Jul 18, 2013



Three Olives posted:

Can someone explain to me what is up with crazy as gently caress dogs? Mine are chill as gently caress, they will chill out under a patio table or just walk on by other dogs on the street barely acknowledging them like 90% of the other dogs we see every day but there are like 10% that freak the gently caress out and aggressively go after mine who are like WTF get away from me we want to keep on walking and don't give a gently caress about you.

What's up with that? Are people just lovely to their dogs and make them assholes or do a fraction of dogs just have crazy mean personalities that just want to wreck other dogs nice afternoon walks.

know any kids who aren't disciplined enough but only babied and they are really annoying and pampered and nobody wants to interact with them voluntarily?

it's the same with dogs

Ekster
Jul 18, 2013



also OP just tell your dog 'no' when she does that and push her face away from her genitalia, problem solved

Robo Reagan
Feb 12, 2012
Probation
Can't post for 2 hours!


Ekster posted:

also OP just tell your dog 'no' when she does that and push her face away from her genitalia, problem solved

i do it doesnt work thanks tho

Quickscope420dad
Jun 30, 2014

From 0 to boner in 1500-3000 seconds

If you fully insert your finger into the dog's rear end in a top hat it will stop attacking

Verisimilidude
Dec 20, 2006

Strike quick and hurry at him,
rush in,
not caring to hit or
miss.
So that you dishonor him before the judges.


turdriver posted:

if ur dog fits on ur lap u have a purse rat

Robo Reagan
Feb 12, 2012
Probation
Can't post for 2 hours!


yes my dog is a chihuahua terrier it's very tiny and could fit in a purse we've been over this ty goons

Hobohemian
Sep 29, 2005
Nope

Small dogs are basically cats for men who have the sense enough to know that owning a cat would make them look like a total pussy, but still have the total pussy mentality so they can't handle a real dog.

Robo Reagan
Feb 12, 2012
Probation
Can't post for 2 hours!


i have a cat and also a rabbit pets own sorry

tho this thread is still about preventing aforementioned licking and i would appreciate if we could stay on topic thank yoy

scalded schlong
Sep 20, 2003



Robo Reagan posted:

yeah i liberated her from my neighbor because she kept escaping because they never gave her any attention and were going to send her to a shelter that euthanizes

i think your neighbours gave your dog entirely the wrong sort of attention

Hobohemian
Sep 29, 2005
Nope

Robo Reagan posted:

i have a cat and also a rabbit pets own sorry

Oh, so you're just a complete total pussy with no shame at all. Can't say it's surprising.

Robo Reagan
Feb 12, 2012
Probation
Can't post for 2 hours!


it's okay hobohemian you don't have to try so hard to fill in the gap now that twee as gently caress has been banned we still love you no matter what

Hobohemian
Sep 29, 2005
Nope

Robo Reagan posted:

it's okay hobohemian you don't have to try so hard to fill in the gap now that twee as gently caress has been banned we still love you no matter what

If you don't want to be mocked for having a dog that masturbates on your lap maybe don't post it on the internet in public?

Robo Reagan
Feb 12, 2012
Probation
Can't post for 2 hours!


*ruffles ur hair*

Berious
Nov 13, 2005


should've got a boy dog sorry op

FinalGamer
Aug 30, 2012


Remember OP, no means no. So no matter what she's wanting, you tell that bitch no because you're feeling uncomfortable with that poo poo.

Then go take your dog onto Maury Povich so you can have the same experience of being mocked here but now in real life

ilikedirt
Oct 15, 2004

king of posting


the cure fior thus is to feed youre dog chocolate lots of it dogs lick there butts bc they taste loke chocolate and dogs crave choclaye so if u give threm chocolate theyll stop

hth :thunnbsup:

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you irl
Jan 22, 2014


my cat's penis was out and he forgot to put it back in, walking around with his penis out

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