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Chris Awful
Oct 2, 2005

Tell your friends they don't have to be scared or hungry anymore comrades.


I never wash my hands after using a public restroom. Unless something gets on me. Otherwise, I figure I'm as clean as when I walked in. Besides, the sink is usually filthier than I am. I'm convinced that many of the men I see frantically washing up do not do the same thing at home. Americans are obsessed with appearances and have an unhealthy fixation on cleanliness.

Relax, boys. It's only your dick. If it's so dirty that after handling it you need to wash your hands, you may as well just go ahead and scrub your dick while you're at it. Tell the truth. Wouldn't you like to see some guy trying to dry his genitals with one of those forced-air blowing machines that are mounted four feet off the ground?

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VisAbsoluta
Dec 18, 2009





Laughing Man
Feb 11, 2008
I thought what I’d do was pretend I was one of those deaf mutes, or something...

I don't wash my hands at home because I know I just cleaned the door handle, and the shitter, and the toilet paper roll holder.

You nasty.

Uncle at Nintendo
Dec 31, 2000



I only wash my hands when I poo poo on them. And that happens 2, maybe 3 times a week tops.

FAGGY CLAUSE
Apr 9, 2011



i wont even shake another mans hand unless its covered in smegma

amityville anus
Jan 30, 2010


I only run the water don't even touch it

Alberto Basalm
Nov 14, 2005


Uncle at Nintendo posted:

I only wash my hands when I poo poo on them. And that happens 2, maybe 3 times a week tops.

RIP

gingerberger
Jun 20, 2014

Gotta love my Squirtle Swag


I don't wash my hands, but I do like to pat other guys on the back while pissing.

Fuck Your Website
Nov 29, 2003
FUCK YOU, AND FUCK YOUR WEBSITE


You cause the Ebola

VendaGoat
Nov 1, 2005

I lived through the Black Plague and had a pretty good time during that. I've seen the EXORCIST ABOUT A HUNDRED AND SIXTY-SEVEN TIMES, AND IT KEEPS GETTING FUNNIER EVERY SINGLE TIME I SEE IT. NOT TO MENTION THE FACT THAT YOU'RE TALKING TO A DEAD GUY. NOW WHAT DO YOU THINK? You think I'm qualified?


I wash them, but I don't ever dry them. I enjoy shaking everyone's hand and putting my soaked hands on peoples shoulders.

Shimrra Jamaane
Aug 9, 2007


Don't ever count out Touchdown Tom.


OP, you best hope you don't do that in front of me because I will literally shoot you.

Helical Nightmares
Apr 30, 2009


Chris Awful posted:

I never wash my hands after using a public restroom. Unless something gets on me. Otherwise, I figure I'm as clean as when I walked in. Besides, the sink is usually filthier than I am. I'm convinced that many of the men I see frantically washing up do not do the same thing at home. Americans are obsessed with appearances and have an unhealthy fixation on cleanliness.

Relax, boys. It's only your dick. If it's so dirty that after handling it you need to wash your hands, you may as well just go ahead and scrub your dick while you're at it. Tell the truth. Wouldn't you like to see some guy trying to dry his genitals with one of those forced-air blowing machines that are mounted four feet off the ground?

You are a disease vector. gently caress you. Wash your loving hands jackass.

Harald
Jul 9, 2009

This space reserved for future text.

my own dick is clean but the other guys dick///?

neato burrito
Aug 25, 2002

bitch better have my chex mix

Helical Nightmares posted:

You are a disease vector. gently caress you. Wash your loving hands jackass.

What diseases would one transmit after touching their own undiseased penis?

Fuck Your Website
Nov 29, 2003
FUCK YOU, AND FUCK YOUR WEBSITE


neato burrito posted:

What diseases would one transmit after touching their own undiseased penis?

All penises are diseased, you love penis so much then marry it

VendaGoat
Nov 1, 2005

I lived through the Black Plague and had a pretty good time during that. I've seen the EXORCIST ABOUT A HUNDRED AND SIXTY-SEVEN TIMES, AND IT KEEPS GETTING FUNNIER EVERY SINGLE TIME I SEE IT. NOT TO MENTION THE FACT THAT YOU'RE TALKING TO A DEAD GUY. NOW WHAT DO YOU THINK? You think I'm qualified?


neato burrito posted:

What diseases would one transmit after touching their own undiseased penis?

this is a seminal issue

Guancho
Aug 22, 2010

Heineken? Fuck that shit! PABST BLUE RIBBON!


take the 30 seconds and wash your hands you gross goony fucker

Ron Paul Hype Man
Jun 18, 2007

It's a revolution
Brothers and sisters
There ain't a fight
And it doesn't mean
A god damn thing


Neurosis
Jun 10, 2003

All right, all right, spare me your life's story.


my dick is cleaner than the taps in a public restroom i agree

Shasta Orange Soda
Apr 24, 2007



20 seconds is longer than you think

Vastarien
Dec 20, 2012

Where I live is nightmare, thus a certain nonchalance.


you gonna get ebola and dissolve into poo poo pudding.

lesbian baphomet
Nov 30, 2011



I wash my hands even at home, because i am not a trash creature which lives in celebration of filth

lonesomedwarf
Mar 22, 2010



by washing your hands you are gf

Otto Von Jizzmark
Dec 27, 2004


I don't wash my hands either unless someone else is in the bathroom with me or I poo poo. Urine is almost sterile, barring no urinary tract infection, and the shaft of your penis just has normal human flora.

Moridin920
Nov 15, 2007


Same, OP. Unless I get something on my hands I pretty much don't wash either.

Helical Nightmares posted:

You are a disease vector. gently caress you. Wash your loving hands jackass.

How though he isn't touching anything in the bathroom except the door handle
urine is sterile anyway


if anything this 'WASH EVERY TIME! DISINFECT EVERYTHING!' thing white middle aged moms have going on causes stronger forms of bacteria and viruses to evolve as they continually wipe out 99.9% of the 'weaker' bacteria.

and your immune system needs some practice anyway otherwise when it does have to fight the flu it'll get stomped.

error1
Sep 29, 2001

BBC Computer 32K
BASIC
>_


These instructions won't work unless you make sure to use one paper towel to turn the sink off and a different paper towel to dry your hands. Otherwise you're smearing dick germs all over your hands from that guy who pretended he knew basic hygiene by just letting the water run for a while

Moridin920 posted:

and your immune system needs some practice anyway otherwise when it does have to fight the flu it'll get stomped.

Actually, some diseases like bird flu are more dangerous to people with strong immune systems because they get extremely high fevers that can kill them from the bodys aggressive reaction to the virus. Judging from my own experience you don't get sick as often, but when you finally do it feels like you're going to die.

error1 fucked around with this message at Aug 8, 2014 around 06:57

Tsinava
Nov 15, 2009


error1 posted:

These instructions won't work unless you make sure to use one paper towel to turn the sink off and a different paper towel to dry your hands. Otherwise you're smearing dick germs all over your hands from that guy who pretended he knew basic hygiene by just letting the water run for a while

and use another paper towel to turn the knob and open the door for all the troglodytes that didn't even bother washing their hands.

ilikedirt
Oct 15, 2004

king of posting


whenev i scartach my euyes i make sure to finger my butt before i do that way i get some antiseptic butt germs onto my eyes to keep them NICE and clean *winks at u slyly*

Tsinava
Nov 15, 2009


ilikedirt posted:

whenev i scartach my euyes i make sure to finger my butt before i do that way i get some antiseptic butt germs onto my eyes to keep them NICE and clean *winks at u slyly*

enjoy your extremely painful bouts of pink eye. whatev floats ya boat friend!

Waltzing Along
Jun 14, 2008

May your eyes be opened by the wonderful


I don't always wash my hands. But I do grab a paper towel to use on the door handle

ilikedirt
Oct 15, 2004

king of posting


Tsinava posted:

enjoy your extremely painful bouts of pink eye. whatev floats ya boat friend!

jokes on u im always high so its impossible to tell if i ha ve pinkeye

Tsinava
Nov 15, 2009


also people, people? *claps repeatedly in a very sanctimonious lovely manner to get attention*


all those signs in the bathroom that tell you to wash your hands are so you don't get pink eye, which is contagious and really freaking gross.

Moridin920
Nov 15, 2007


Tsinava posted:

also people, people? *claps repeatedly in a very sanctimonious lovely manner to get attention*


all those signs in the bathroom that tell you to wash your hands are so you don't get pink eye, which is contagious and really freaking gross.

yeah if you get poo poo on your hands then don't wash them anyway then stick your poo poo finger into your eye liking a loving moron

those signs are for employees and are mandated by law

DeepQantas
Jan 13, 2008

Ah, to be a Hero... Keeping such company...


Your butt is the cleanest part of your body, so really we should be shaking butts, not hands.

Tsinava
Nov 15, 2009


Moridin920 posted:

yeah if you get poo poo on your hands then don't wash them anyway then stick your poo poo finger into your eye liking a loving moron

those signs are for employees and are mandated by law

wash your drat hands you slob.

Moridin920
Nov 15, 2007


Tsinava posted:

wash your drat hands you slob.

only if I need to gotta make a judgement call every time

i'm the decider

lesbian baphomet
Nov 30, 2011



Moridin920 posted:

yeah if you get poo poo on your hands then don't wash them anyway then stick your poo poo finger into your eye liking a loving moron

those signs are for employees and are mandated by law

most people eat using hands as well.

ilikedirt
Oct 15, 2004

king of posting


DeepQantas posted:

Your butt is the cleanest part of your body, so really we should be shaking butts, not hands.

Its an honor to meet you, mr president
*president and me twerk at each other*

Moridin920
Nov 15, 2007


lesbian baphomet posted:

most people eat using hands as well.

well again if you get poo poo on your hands you wash them otherwise it probably isn't necessary unless you rub your fingers on your butthole every time you go take a piss or something

chances are you are touching some nastier poo poo out in the world and then not washing your hands before eating than your dick.

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Tsinava
Nov 15, 2009


also you can give someone pink eye by farting on their face. hosed up but true. i hope nobody uses this knowledge for evil.

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