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I am going to make a plentyoffish dating profile for an imaginary goon which we all design collaboratively, and then get the goon a date with someone who isn't terrible, updating the thread with screenshots of message replies from potential goon date victims I will share (but not respond to) any spontaneous messages our goon receives, to prevent people making fake accounts to hit on the goon. This goon will get a date with a real person. Update: Okay following 5 pages of suggestions for profile content, our goon is now complete:     Time to start dating! I will add screens of messages I send and receive. You are welcome to make suggestions for Kevin's dating activities! Suggest messages to send etc. We will use one message at a time. I will send the same message out to a number of lucky people until someone makes a new suggestion, and that will become the message. I will continue to update the lists of replies to prior messages as and when they arrive, rather than listing them chronologically. The first message: Okay so I've sent this out to roughly 10 attractive women in the goon's area:  But one doesn't accept messages below a certain word limit so I added a bit for my message to her:  Replies to the first message    Ongoing sagas: NEW! H  E    The Second Message:  Replies to the second message   Ongoing sagas from the second message: NEW! M   S   The third message  The fourth message (is too long for a screencap showing it all) "You may have a date with me, if you solve these riddles three: A man has to get a vulpix, a pidgey, and a sack of corn across a river. He has a rowboat, and it can only carry him and one other thing. If the vulpix and the pidgey are left together, the vulpix will eat the pidgey. If the pidgey and the corn are left together, the chicken will eat the corn. How does the man do it? #2 what is in my pocket? (not a rude answer) #3 When you have me you want to share me. When you share me I no longer exist" Fifth message ""There are a lot of pickup artists on these websites. Are you scared that I am one?"" Sixth message ""Kevin likes your profile. Should you wish to accompany Kevin on a date you should prepare to be overwhelmed by the sheer animal magnetism that is Kevin"" Well none of your goony suggestions worked apart from "Do you have stairs in your house" so far, but I will persevere. CURRENT MESSAGE ""Meet me for a romantic happy meal at McDonalds tonight. I know the manager, we can get a discount. 8pm?" FAILDATE 1 So we sent RedLobster to meet someone:  Looking like this:  Of course, the prospect of getting terrible, terrible Kevin a date after just one day of absolutely awful messages to women blinded us to the obvious fact that she wasn't going to show up... (we "wanted to believe"), so RedLobster made a 3hr-round-trip just for a McDonalds. When later questioned why she didn't show up:  Kevin's journey to find a simple date is not over yet, though, because unlike your typical goon who would give up before even a single rejection, Kevin is determined. Stay tuned. les fleurs du mall fucked around with this message at 12:20 on Aug 10, 2014 |
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Aug 8, 2014 10:30
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| # ? Apr 19, 2024 12:58 |
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let me oh god let me get the date i don't even care who
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Aug 8, 2014 10:39
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didn't read the op never mind
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Aug 8, 2014 10:40
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how big does the image have to be, a full body thing or just the face
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Aug 8, 2014 10:43
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lonesomedwarf posted:how big does the image have to be, a full body thing or just the face Just something that looks like a profile picture for a profile like any other except goony
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Aug 8, 2014 10:43
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i wanna have sex with someone who has a hot body and tight holes for a pic just gis "benedict cumberbatch" send me the holes
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Aug 8, 2014 10:47
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make his job be professional mtg player and part time javascript programmer (hs dropout)
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Aug 8, 2014 10:51
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scratch that make him a pro quidditch player
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Aug 8, 2014 10:51
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 any goons that look like this minus the legs please pm me please totally horny for good holes
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Aug 8, 2014 10:52
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cant shut up about politics and video games because "he is really passionate" about them, hates and complains about every single even slightly popular thing
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Aug 8, 2014 10:53
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this image doesn't get any hits on tineye so maybe it would work although i guess it would now? edit: okay i submitted a deletion request lonesomedwarf fucked around with this message at 11:03 on Aug 8, 2014 |
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Aug 8, 2014 10:53
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lonesomedwarf posted:this image doesn't get any hits on tineye so maybe it would work okay delete it from your post, i have saved it (also delete it from imgur if you can)
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Aug 8, 2014 10:53
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 http://imgur.com/IF2bIeV haha best image search ever (cant afford a ban gently caress u)
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Aug 8, 2014 10:55
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MOOBS! posted:
what is this? not clicking, since i am a very fragile being.
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Aug 8, 2014 11:03
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Rambling Robot posted:what is this? its fuckin hot im j-ing o right now
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Aug 8, 2014 11:04
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if failing to get dates on okcupid is so boring i dont even do it why would making this a community effort be any better.
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Aug 8, 2014 11:08
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Aferisan posted:if failing to get dates on okcupid is so boring i dont even do it why would making this a community effort be any better. Because our goon WILL get a date
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Aug 8, 2014 11:09
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Rambling Robot posted:what is this? pulsating anus please click and enjoy
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Aug 8, 2014 11:11
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this sounds gay and stupid as gently caress
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Aug 8, 2014 11:11
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not sure if a male or female anus but if i had to guess i would say female
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Aug 8, 2014 11:11
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lotta pelvic muscle control
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Aug 8, 2014 11:12
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Instead of an imaginary goon use a real one who is willing.
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Aug 8, 2014 11:14
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concerned mom posted:Instead of an imaginary goon use a real one who is willing. this is also acceptable if we have volunteers for the info and photos but i will still be in control of the account
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Aug 8, 2014 11:15
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name: rhubarb creampie
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Aug 8, 2014 11:16
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MOOBS! posted:pulsating anus please click and enjoy I did. Is there a r/pulsatinganus?
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Aug 8, 2014 11:30
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Kevin Spears for the name.
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Aug 8, 2014 11:37
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Al Borland posted:Kevin Spears for the name. that'll do
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Aug 8, 2014 11:39
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write his name like this- K€vin $p€@rs - , so that people don't google him + pof and find this page.
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Aug 8, 2014 11:43
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Lets make him an IT consultant for US Bank or some major bank company. His ambitions is to start up his own Iphone / android app company. Currently he makes apps in his spare time. Kevin likes to play ultimate frisbee with his college friends, and is big into salsa dancing and karaoke. His favorite drink is the mojito and his novel series is A Song of Fire and Ice, AkA Game of Thrones.
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Aug 8, 2014 11:45
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Make him really into the Marvel movies
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Aug 8, 2014 11:45
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Not Spiderman though, since that's not technically part of the "Cinematic Universe"
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Aug 8, 2014 11:46
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Hat Thoughts posted:Not Spiderman though, since that's not technically part of the "Cinematic Universe" Yeah I could see kevin being a big iron man fan but HATING spider man. What a beta Peter is so wishy washy with women. Oh god I'm getting into kevin's mind. E: How goony are we making this guy? Like should he be goon in appearance?
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Aug 8, 2014 11:48
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Hat Thoughts posted:Not Spiderman though, since that's not technically part of the "Cinematic Universe" he should do 2 whole paragraphs on this issue.
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Aug 8, 2014 11:48
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Rambling Robot posted:he should do 2 whole paragraphs on this issue. I was watching a video in another thread about some guy who went on a speed date at comic con and some girl was dressed as electra looking for a date there. He was like "I know you're electra!" And she was happy about that, then he went into 8 minutes of talking about the comic series and what he liked / didn't like about it instead of a normal loving conversation. E: Another thing of note, sometimes people want your profile to have multiple pictures of you from different angles. So we may need an actual volunteer for this. Al Borland fucked around with this message at 11:53 on Aug 8, 2014 |
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Aug 8, 2014 11:50
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where shall i set as his location? e: has to be a UK location
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Aug 8, 2014 11:59
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Quickscope420dad posted:where shall i set as his location? Nottingham. I have a friend from there.
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Aug 8, 2014 12:01
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As for my taste in cinema, my heart belongs to the Marvel films. Each one builds upon the other in ways both clever and ingenious. The first culmination of their efforts, Joss Whedon's The Avengers can be described as nothing less than a masterpiece. It is everything a superhero film could ever wish to be, thrilling, heart-wrenching, and of course, always funny, thanks to Whedon's unique ear for snappy lifelike dialogue that can not be replicated. There is however, one blemish on the incredible house of cards that is the current Marvel universe, and that is Sony's damned Spider-Man films. They're churned out by clumsy idiots who know nothing of filmmaking and have no ties to the greater thematic universe. Now, I do not blame the originals for this mishap, as then the universe did not exist. Still, they're ugly idiot movies that propagate the idea of Peter Parker as a sort of "nerd minstrel" (as you see in the Big Bang Theory). Why they hired "Sam Raimi" a man best known for making the equivalent of cinematic jock-rock for people who think good filmmaking = blood, will always be beyond me. Still, he was eventually stopped when his third Spider Man film was so terrible even Sony had to let go of him, but instead of doing the right thing, and letting the rights go back to those who could actually do something with them (Marvel). Sony kept their death-grip on the franchise and made two films about an impossibly-handsome "nerd" who gets a girlfriend and superpowers, I've seen them many times, and take my word for it, they are as horrid every time.
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Aug 8, 2014 12:05
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^^^ This man will get hit on only by slam whales. Like how good of a date are we trying to get him? E: I mean if we're going all out awful. He should have a katana collection and the Art of War should be another of his favorite books. You could use that one nerd from the It's tape video for a profile picture and have several pictures of him holding katanas and unboxing anime girl games. He has a channel full of the poo poo.
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Aug 8, 2014 12:06
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London or there might not be enough people out there. Make his profile an acrostic that spells out goku kamehameha
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Aug 8, 2014 12:10
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who is the other imaginary goon that gets raped
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Aug 8, 2014 12:11
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