Let's get a goon a date

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > General Bullshit > Let's get a goon a date

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Tricky Dick Nixon: Jul 26, 2010; by Nyc_Tattoo

Smoking yes, kids absolutely not, has cats, and "very ambitious."

# ? Aug 8, 2014 13:22

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# ? Apr 18, 2024 17:32

Zedd: Jul 6, 2009; I mean, who would have noticed another madman around here?

A cat? No man he has a snake or something.

# ? Aug 8, 2014 13:24

les fleurs du mall: Jun 30, 2014; by LadyAmbien

RedLobster posted:

An obnoxious atheist please.

okay, set to non-religious

BluPotato posted:

is there a 'college, some of' option then definitely that

changing from highschool to this then

Juvenalian.Satyr posted:

Smoking yes, kids absolutely not, has cats, and "very ambitious."

does he smoke, (no / occasionally / often) does he date people who smoke (and if so, exclusively or not?)

set to "does not want children"

Zedd posted:

A cat? No man he has a snake or something.

okay, instead of cats, "other"

# ? Aug 8, 2014 13:33

lonesomedwarf: Mar 22, 2010

make it so that he smokes but only wants to date non smokers

# ? Aug 8, 2014 13:46

lonesomedwarf: Mar 22, 2010

actually i am not sure about this. the people who would respond to this guy must be pretty close to suicide already.

# ? Aug 8, 2014 13:47

les fleurs du mall: Jun 30, 2014; by LadyAmbien

lonesomedwarf posted:

make it so that he smokes but only wants to date non smokers

done, but does he smoke often or just occasionally?

# ? Aug 8, 2014 13:47

RedLobster: Nov 19, 2010; Original Character
!DO NOT STEAL!

Often.

# ? Aug 8, 2014 13:48

les fleurs du mall: Jun 30, 2014; by LadyAmbien

RedLobster posted:

Often.

done

# ? Aug 8, 2014 13:49

BluPotato: Jul 18, 2006

lonesomedwarf posted:

actually i am not sure about this. the people who would respond to this guy must be pretty close to suicide already.

you would be surprised

# ? Aug 8, 2014 13:50

lonesomedwarf: Mar 22, 2010

BluPotato posted:

you would be surprised

depending on how this goes i might end up signing up for this because if this guy can get responses i sure as gently caress will

# ? Aug 8, 2014 13:53

Extra Large Marge: Jan 21, 2004; Fun Shoe

List his favorite bands as Radiohead and U2

# ? Aug 8, 2014 14:01

les fleurs du mall: Jun 30, 2014; by LadyAmbien

Hat Thoughts posted:

As for my taste in cinema, my heart belongs to the Marvel films. Each one builds upon the other in ways both clever and ingenious. The first culmination of their efforts, Joss Whedon's The Avengers can be described as nothing less than a masterpiece. It is everything a superhero film could ever wish to be, thrilling, heart-wrenching, and of course, always funny, thanks to Whedon's unique ear for snappy lifelike dialogue that can not be replicated. There is however, one blemish on the incredible house of cards that is the current Marvel universe, and that is Sony's damned Spider-Man films. They're churned out by clumsy idiots who know nothing of filmmaking and have no ties to the greater thematic universe.

Now, I do not blame the originals for this mishap, as then the universe did not exist. Still, they're ugly idiot movies that propagate the idea of Peter Parker as a sort of "nerd minstrel" (as you see in the Big Bang Theory). Why they hired "Sam Raimi" a man best known for making the equivalent of cinematic jock-rock for people who think good filmmaking = blood, will always be beyond me. Still, he was eventually stopped when his third Spider Man film was so terrible even Sony had to let go of him, but instead of doing the right thing, and letting the rights go back to those who could actually do something with them (Marvel). Sony kept their death-grip on the franchise and made two films about an impossibly-handsome "nerd" who gets a girlfriend and superpowers, I've seen them many times, and take my word for it, they are as horrid every time.

Astrofig posted:

he loves to read ayn rand and have 'intellectual discussions' of why those darn poors are still poor

Arian_Samurai posted:

List his favorite bands as Radiohead and U2

added all of these, but there's still a lot of space and we need the other more tedious details

# ? Aug 8, 2014 14:04

RedLobster: Nov 19, 2010; Original Character
!DO NOT STEAL!

Make sure you mention how overrated the Beatles are.

# ? Aug 8, 2014 14:06

BluPotato: Jul 18, 2006

That Marvell movie thing is just perfect, that must have been stolen, no sane human being can come up with poo poo like that

# ? Aug 8, 2014 14:06

les fleurs du mall: Jun 30, 2014; by LadyAmbien

RedLobster posted:

Make sure you mention how overrated the Beatles are.

Added this and some other suggestions from earlier in the thread to the description, but still need those mandatory fields

# ? Aug 8, 2014 14:09

les fleurs du mall: Jun 30, 2014; by LadyAmbien

ilikedirt posted:

make his job be professional mtg player and part time javascript programmer (hs dropout)

adding this as profession

# ? Aug 8, 2014 14:09

les fleurs du mall: Jun 30, 2014; by LadyAmbien

So personality in one word: are we going for intellectual, or brogrammer?

# ? Aug 8, 2014 14:10

BluPotato: Jul 18, 2006

brogrammer, because I hate that word

# ? Aug 8, 2014 14:11

les fleurs du mall: Jun 30, 2014; by LadyAmbien

BluPotato posted:

brogrammer, because I hate that word

done.

Okay next we need his dating intent

# ? Aug 8, 2014 14:12

Extra Large Marge: Jan 21, 2004; Fun Shoe

"date but nothing serious". He is a wild stallion that doesn't want to get tied down right now.

# ? Aug 8, 2014 14:13

Tricky Dick Nixon: Jul 26, 2010; by Nyc_Tattoo

My vote's for intellectual.

As for the rest: Drugs sometimes. Intent "serious effort to finding someone." Would not date BBW or those with kids. Parents separated but alive.

# ? Aug 8, 2014 14:14

les fleurs du mall: Jun 30, 2014; by LadyAmbien

Juvenalian.Satyr posted:

My vote's for intellectual.

As for the rest: Drugs sometimes. Intent "serious effort to finding someone." Would not date BBW or those with kids. Parents separated but alive.

Made intent ""date but nothing serious", added "I am a wild stallion who does not want to get tied down right now."
done. We still need longest relationship, income, only child or not?

# ? Aug 8, 2014 14:15

concerned mom: Apr 22, 2003; by Lowtax; Grimey Drawer

As for music I have a pretty eclectic range that has been described as mature for my age although that was some time ago. I enjoy classical ballads, especially when drinking wine in a nice restaurant maybe even on holiday because I don't like air conditioning. If you're a fan of The Smiths, Nirvana, or even (on occasions) Katy Perry then please look no further, I don't wish to talk to you. However, if you like refined auteurs like Nobuo Uematsu who can so deftly plumb the depths of human emotion and Strife (pun intended) I'd gladly like to sit down with you over an alcoholic beverage and discuss the finer points of the subject which I have written extensively about so preferably somewhere with wifi access.

# ? Aug 8, 2014 14:16

RedLobster: Nov 19, 2010; Original Character
!DO NOT STEAL!

No previous relationships

# ? Aug 8, 2014 14:16

les fleurs du mall: Jun 30, 2014; by LadyAmbien

RedLobster posted:

No previous relationships

okay, but minimum option is "less than 1 year"

# ? Aug 8, 2014 14:17

Tricky Dick Nixon: Jul 26, 2010; by Nyc_Tattoo

Only child for sure. Salary should be inflated considering the "profession" but not sky high, something like 40k. No previous relationship, this lucky someone will be popping our brogrammer cherry.

# ? Aug 8, 2014 14:17

les fleurs du mall: Jun 30, 2014; by LadyAmbien

Juvenalian.Satyr posted:

Only child for sure. Salary should be inflated considering the "profession" but not sky high, something like 40k. No previous relationship, this lucky someone will be popping our brogrammer cherry.

Set salary as 23 - 30k (GBP)

# ? Aug 8, 2014 14:19

les fleurs du mall: Jun 30, 2014; by LadyAmbien

Okay we still need:

Headline

More suggestions for the description

interests

first date caveats

# ? Aug 8, 2014 14:22

les fleurs du mall: Jun 30, 2014; by LadyAmbien

concerned mom posted:

As for music I have a pretty eclectic range that has been described as mature for my age although that was some time ago. I enjoy classical ballads, especially when drinking wine in a nice restaurant maybe even on holiday because I don't like air conditioning. If you're a fan of The Smiths, Nirvana, or even (on occasions) Katy Perry then please look no further, I don't wish to talk to you. However, if you like refined auteurs like Nobuo Uematsu who can so deftly plumb the depths of human emotion and Strife (pun intended)

added to description

[quote="concerned mom" post="433266957"]
I'd gladly like to sit down with you over an alcoholic beverage and discuss the finer points of the subject which I have written extensively about so preferably somewhere with wifi access.

Added to first date

# ? Aug 8, 2014 14:26

Drone_Fragger: May 9, 2007

Hey dipshits two words of advice for your fake profile:

Firstly, in the UK, nearly no one uses the term high school, they're all called Secondary school. The only exception is if it's in scotland or if it's an all girls grammar or private school which generally are called high schools. Since this is a goon and from london you'd be hence more believable using secondary school dropout instead.

Additionally no one cares about colleges, in Britain they're either 6th form colleges which generally suck (and you would be unlikely to drop out since if you didn't care enough about going to 6th form you wouldn't go to them in the first place) or collections of departments in a university, which again doesn't make sense from a "dropping out of college" point of view.

# ? Aug 8, 2014 14:26

les fleurs du mall: Jun 30, 2014; by LadyAmbien

Drone_Fragger posted:

Hey dipshits two words of advice for your fake profile:

Firstly, in the UK, nearly no one uses the term high school, they're all called Secondary school. The only exception is if it's in scotland or if it's an all girls grammar or private school which generally are called high schools. Since this is a goon and from london you'd be hence more believable using secondary school dropout instead.

Additionally no one cares about colleges, in Britain they're either 6th form colleges which generally suck (and you would be unlikely to drop out since if you didn't care enough about going to 6th form you wouldn't go to them in the first place) or collections of departments in a university, which again doesn't make sense from a "dropping out of college" point of view.

it's a drop down menu, so high school is the best option (also we do use the term in the UK sometimes)

# ? Aug 8, 2014 14:26

BluPotato: Jul 18, 2006

Headline: "Bitcoin Captain of Industry seeking his:" someone can finish this for me right?

# ? Aug 8, 2014 14:27

BluPotato: Jul 18, 2006

Drone_Fragger posted:

Hey dipshits two words of advice for your fake profile:

Firstly, in the UK, nearly no one uses the term high school, they're all called Secondary school. The only exception is if it's in scotland or if it's an all girls grammar or private school which generally are called high schools. Since this is a goon and from london you'd be hence more believable using secondary school dropout instead.

Additionally no one cares about colleges, in Britain they're either 6th form colleges which generally suck (and you would be unlikely to drop out since if you didn't care enough about going to 6th form you wouldn't go to them in the first place) or collections of departments in a university, which again doesn't make sense from a "dropping out of college" point of view.

no one cares

# ? Aug 8, 2014 14:28

les fleurs du mall: Jun 30, 2014; by LadyAmbien

BluPotato posted:

Headline: "Bitcoin Captain of Industry seeking his:" someone can finish this for me right?

it has a 42 character limit

# ? Aug 8, 2014 14:28

Drone_Fragger: May 9, 2007

Quickscope420dad posted:

it's a drop down menu, so high school is the best option (also we do use the term in the UK sometimes)

I've never heard it used ever, but it's possible this is because it's more common in the east of the UK I guess?

# ? Aug 8, 2014 14:28

les fleurs du mall: Jun 30, 2014; by LadyAmbien

Drone_Fragger posted:

I've never heard it used ever, but it's possible this is because it's more common in the east of the UK I guess?

Not sure, just every now and again I meet someone who went to a "high school" - might be used more regularly for private schools

# ? Aug 8, 2014 14:29

RedLobster: Nov 19, 2010; Original Character
!DO NOT STEAL!

Headline: *Tips hat* M'lady

# ? Aug 8, 2014 14:29

Drone_Fragger: May 9, 2007

BluPotato posted:

no one cares

I know from experiance in these matters that if the profile looks okay but theres a bunch of wierd sounding expressions and it means that something doesn't add up it's then very difficult to convince them to get into your creepy white van you parked in an alley.

# ? Aug 8, 2014 14:29

les fleurs du mall: Jun 30, 2014; by LadyAmbien

RedLobster posted:

Headline: *Tips hat* M'lady

Done

# ? Aug 8, 2014 14:29

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# ? Apr 18, 2024 17:32

Hat Thoughts: Jul 27, 2012

Headline: Welcome, to me.

# ? Aug 8, 2014 14:30

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > General Bullshit > Let's get a goon a date

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