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I am going to make a plentyoffish dating profile for an imaginary goon which we all design collaboratively, and then get the goon a date with someone who isn't terrible, updating the thread with screenshots of message replies from potential goon date victims I will share (but not respond to) any spontaneous messages our goon receives, to prevent people making fake accounts to hit on the goon. This goon will get a date with a real person. Update: Okay following 5 pages of suggestions for profile content, our goon is now complete:     Time to start dating! I will add screens of messages I send and receive. You are welcome to make suggestions for Kevin's dating activities! Suggest messages to send etc. We will use one message at a time. I will send the same message out to a number of lucky people until someone makes a new suggestion, and that will become the message. I will continue to update the lists of replies to prior messages as and when they arrive, rather than listing them chronologically. The first message: Okay so I've sent this out to roughly 10 attractive women in the goon's area:  But one doesn't accept messages below a certain word limit so I added a bit for my message to her:  Replies to the first message    Ongoing sagas: NEW! H  E    The Second Message:  Replies to the second message   Ongoing sagas from the second message: NEW! M   S   The third message  The fourth message (is too long for a screencap showing it all) "You may have a date with me, if you solve these riddles three: A man has to get a vulpix, a pidgey, and a sack of corn across a river. He has a rowboat, and it can only carry him and one other thing. If the vulpix and the pidgey are left together, the vulpix will eat the pidgey. If the pidgey and the corn are left together, the chicken will eat the corn. How does the man do it? #2 what is in my pocket? (not a rude answer) #3 When you have me you want to share me. When you share me I no longer exist" Fifth message ""There are a lot of pickup artists on these websites. Are you scared that I am one?"" Sixth message ""Kevin likes your profile. Should you wish to accompany Kevin on a date you should prepare to be overwhelmed by the sheer animal magnetism that is Kevin"" Well none of your goony suggestions worked apart from "Do you have stairs in your house" so far, but I will persevere. CURRENT MESSAGE ""Meet me for a romantic happy meal at McDonalds tonight. I know the manager, we can get a discount. 8pm?" FAILDATE 1 So we sent RedLobster to meet someone:  Looking like this:  Of course, the prospect of getting terrible, terrible Kevin a date after just one day of absolutely awful messages to women blinded us to the obvious fact that she wasn't going to show up... (we "wanted to believe"), so RedLobster made a 3hr-round-trip just for a McDonalds. When later questioned why she didn't show up:  Kevin's journey to find a simple date is not over yet, though, because unlike your typical goon who would give up before even a single rejection, Kevin is determined. Stay tuned. les fleurs du mall fucked around with this message at 12:20 on Aug 10, 2014 |
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Aug 8, 2014 10:30
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| # ¿ Apr 28, 2024 01:25 |
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lonesomedwarf posted:how big does the image have to be, a full body thing or just the face Just something that looks like a profile picture for a profile like any other except goony
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Aug 8, 2014 10:43
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lonesomedwarf posted:this image doesn't get any hits on tineye so maybe it would work okay delete it from your post, i have saved it (also delete it from imgur if you can)
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Aug 8, 2014 10:53
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Aferisan posted:if failing to get dates on okcupid is so boring i dont even do it why would making this a community effort be any better. Because our goon WILL get a date
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Aug 8, 2014 11:09
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concerned mom posted:Instead of an imaginary goon use a real one who is willing. this is also acceptable if we have volunteers for the info and photos but i will still be in control of the account
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Aug 8, 2014 11:15
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Al Borland posted:Kevin Spears for the name. that'll do
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Aug 8, 2014 11:39
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where shall i set as his location? e: has to be a UK location
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Aug 8, 2014 11:59
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added an update to the OP with screens for the goon details selection
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Aug 8, 2014 12:15
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I'll include as many of your profile content suggestions from this thread as I can fit / within ToS
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Aug 8, 2014 12:25
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i added the list of options for "describe yourself in one word" setting, there are some good ones Anyone prefer anything over "brogrammer" though?
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Aug 8, 2014 12:31
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Focus on the dropdown menu options first, or i'll just start filling them in, but I don't want you to think I'm being selective to make the task of getting him a date less difficult for myself
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Aug 8, 2014 12:36
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BluPotato posted:really are those all options they give for a drop down in 'describe yourself in one word' because anyone who uses any of those seems like an insufferable human being. yeah but we can only pick one
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Aug 8, 2014 12:39
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i've made him 5ft 8 should he reveal that he does / doesn't have a car, or prefer not to say?
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Aug 8, 2014 12:42
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concerned mom posted:If he's in london then no car, anywhere else it's a must. okay but does he reveal it or not? Has the option for "rather not say"
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Aug 8, 2014 12:46
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Hat Thoughts posted:Definitely rather not say done. now we need education - we all happy with just "highschool" (that is the minimum) also what is he "Looking for" (see options in OP) les fleurs du mall fucked around with this message at 12:55 on Aug 8, 2014 |
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Aug 8, 2014 12:52
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Al Borland posted:^^^ We're trying to get him a real date of which real goons would be jealous, but at the same time he has to be just as terrible as a real goon
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Aug 8, 2014 13:01
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Zedd posted:Obviously long term, only sluts and jocks sleep around. Done. setting high school as education, no second language, no kids, single. Now we need: does he want kids? smoke, drugs, drink, religion, pets, ambition (from not ambitious to very ambitious)
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Aug 8, 2014 13:12
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Fagmaster posted:doesnt like the taste of alcohol okay, set as no
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Aug 8, 2014 13:19
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RedLobster posted:An obnoxious atheist please. okay, set to non-religious BluPotato posted:is there a 'college, some of' option then definitely that changing from highschool to this then Juvenalian.Satyr posted:Smoking yes, kids absolutely not, has cats, and "very ambitious." does he smoke, (no / occasionally / often) does he date people who smoke (and if so, exclusively or not?) set to "does not want children" Zedd posted:A cat? No man he has a snake or something. okay, instead of cats, "other"
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Aug 8, 2014 13:33
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lonesomedwarf posted:make it so that he smokes but only wants to date non smokers done, but does he smoke often or just occasionally?
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Aug 8, 2014 13:47
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RedLobster posted:Often. done
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Aug 8, 2014 13:49
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Hat Thoughts posted:As for my taste in cinema, my heart belongs to the Marvel films. Each one builds upon the other in ways both clever and ingenious. The first culmination of their efforts, Joss Whedon's The Avengers can be described as nothing less than a masterpiece. It is everything a superhero film could ever wish to be, thrilling, heart-wrenching, and of course, always funny, thanks to Whedon's unique ear for snappy lifelike dialogue that can not be replicated. There is however, one blemish on the incredible house of cards that is the current Marvel universe, and that is Sony's damned Spider-Man films. They're churned out by clumsy idiots who know nothing of filmmaking and have no ties to the greater thematic universe. Astrofig posted:he loves to read ayn rand and have 'intellectual discussions' of why those darn poors are still poor Fagmaster posted:doesnt like the taste of alcohol Arian_Samurai posted:List his favorite bands as Radiohead and U2 added all of these, but there's still a lot of space and we need the other more tedious details
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Aug 8, 2014 14:04
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RedLobster posted:Make sure you mention how overrated the Beatles are. Added this and some other suggestions from earlier in the thread to the description, but still need those mandatory fields
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Aug 8, 2014 14:09
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ilikedirt posted:make his job be professional mtg player and part time javascript programmer (hs dropout) adding this as profession
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Aug 8, 2014 14:09
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So personality in one word: are we going for intellectual, or brogrammer?
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Aug 8, 2014 14:10
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BluPotato posted:brogrammer, because I hate that word done. Okay next we need his dating intent
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Aug 8, 2014 14:12
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Juvenalian.Satyr posted:My vote's for intellectual. done. We still need longest relationship, income, only child or not?
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Aug 8, 2014 14:15
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RedLobster posted:No previous relationships okay, but minimum option is "less than 1 year"
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Aug 8, 2014 14:17
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Juvenalian.Satyr posted:Only child for sure. Salary should be inflated considering the "profession" but not sky high, something like 40k. No previous relationship, this lucky someone will be popping our brogrammer cherry. Set salary as 23 - 30k (GBP)
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Aug 8, 2014 14:19
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Okay we still need: Headline More suggestions for the description interests first date caveats
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Aug 8, 2014 14:22
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concerned mom posted:As for music I have a pretty eclectic range that has been described as mature for my age although that was some time ago. I enjoy classical ballads, especially when drinking wine in a nice restaurant maybe even on holiday because I don't like air conditioning. If you're a fan of The Smiths, Nirvana, or even (on occasions) Katy Perry then please look no further, I don't wish to talk to you. However, if you like refined auteurs like Nobuo Uematsu who can so deftly plumb the depths of human emotion and Strife (pun intended) Added to first date
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Aug 8, 2014 14:26
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Drone_Fragger posted:Hey dipshits two words of advice for your fake profile: it's a drop down menu, so high school is the best option (also we do use the term in the UK sometimes)
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Aug 8, 2014 14:26
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BluPotato posted:Headline: "Bitcoin Captain of Industry seeking his:" someone can finish this for me right? it has a 42 character limit
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Aug 8, 2014 14:28
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Drone_Fragger posted:I've never heard it used ever, but it's possible this is because it's more common in the east of the UK I guess? Not sure, just every now and again I meet someone who went to a "high school" - might be used more regularly for private schools
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Aug 8, 2014 14:29
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RedLobster posted:Headline: *Tips hat* M'lady Done
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Aug 8, 2014 14:29
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Hat Thoughts posted:Headline: Welcome, to me. added this on the end of RedLobster's suggestion
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Aug 8, 2014 14:31
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Still need more detail in the "first date" thing, a list of interests, and there's more space for the description too
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Aug 8, 2014 14:33
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concerned mom posted:Miner Too late
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Aug 8, 2014 14:34
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Hat Thoughts posted:Definitely she has to pay on the first date Will you accept "you will have to pay for yourself"
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Aug 8, 2014 14:36
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Zedd posted:"Seeking independent woman that can take care of herself and others, that said I'm willing to go 50-50." added to the description. RedLobster posted:As a firm believer in womens rights I am more than prepared to split the bill. Added to the first date caveats concerned mom posted:It all depends on the photo anyway, unless you're a horrible racist. There's no way this is ever going to get a message or a reply unless the photo is above average. I think you'll be surprised
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Aug 8, 2014 14:41
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