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Arkanomen
May 6, 2007

All he wants is a hug

Xun posted:



Lets upgrade Commisar Fab's hat

NEEDS MORE COGS! Also a little LED marquee that displays his current emotion.

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Xun
Apr 25, 2010

Arkanomen posted:

NEEDS MORE COGS! Also a little LED marquee that displays his current emotion.

Green Intern
Dec 29, 2008

Loon, Crazy and Laughable

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3DaXJmo9cro

paragon1
Nov 22, 2010

FULL COMMUNISM NOW

hmmm better

But it's not really grimdark enough you know?

Make it louder and sadder.

Lord Cyrahzax
Oct 11, 2012

There's only one way to make our new husband happy: a matching (and utterly garish) mechanical eye! One that we can always access, of course.

paragon1
Nov 22, 2010

FULL COMMUNISM NOW
it should also have a signalling antenna on it so we know where he is at all times.

Brownview
Oct 15, 2012

Nothing in this world can take the place of a power rack
Devries sounds like he'd be pretty good at being a rogue trader. Not likely that you'd enjoy working for him, or get him to work for you without some kind of leverage that I can't even imagine. But he's a go-getter.

Xun
Apr 25, 2010

Lord Cyrahzax posted:

There's only one way to make our new husband happy: a matching (and utterly garish) mechanical eye! One that we can always access, of course.

paragon1 posted:

it should also have a signalling antenna on it so we know where he is at all times.


THIS SHALL BE THE ULTIMATE HAT

Successful Businessmanga
Mar 28, 2010

It grows ever more beautiful! :allears:

Xun
Apr 25, 2010



Is it heresy yet

E: Okay I stopped!

Xun fucked around with this message at 06:48 on Feb 26, 2015

Waci
May 30, 2011

A boy and his dog.
pls stop :ohdear:

Sogol
Apr 11, 2013

Galileo's Finger
He is a devout atheist.

HiHo ChiRho
Oct 23, 2010

Xun posted:



Is it heresy yet

E: Okay I stopped!

:allears:

Loel
Jun 4, 2012

"For the Emperor."

There was a terrible noise.
There was a terrible silence.



Xun posted:



Is it heresy yet

E: Okay I stopped!

:allears:

Ghostwoods
May 9, 2013

Say "Cheese!"

Xun posted:



Is it heresy yet

E: Okay I stopped!

See, that's the trouble with 40k. You drop into a mess room to get a cup of coffee, and BAM! You've fallen to Slaanesh.

Loel
Jun 4, 2012

"For the Emperor."

There was a terrible noise.
There was a terrible silence.



Now Im strongly considering making that my avatar...

Cannon_Fodder
Jul 17, 2007

"Hey, where did Steve go?"
Design by Kamoc

LowellDND posted:

Now Im strongly considering making that my avatar...

You and I both, buddy.

Also, many thanks on the cackling skulls. I had a :3: -worthy grin on my face.

Loel
Jun 4, 2012

"For the Emperor."

There was a terrible noise.
There was a terrible silence.



Cannon_Fodder posted:

You and I both, buddy.

Also, many thanks on the cackling skulls. I had a :3: -worthy grin on my face.

Im here for my players :D :3:

I have class here in a few, but I plan to camp out in IRC and maybe sketch some outlines. Tentatively, posts this afternoon?

Loel
Jun 4, 2012

"For the Emperor."

There was a terrible noise.
There was a terrible silence.



Slice of Life XXXVII

“Run that by me again?”
Sister Suffer glanced at her data slate. “The stormtroopers’ quarters were broken into.”
“Right, after that.”
“Someone managed to switch their uniforms while they slept, to exact copies that were one size smaller.”
“And then…”
“And then, the room registered a ship fire. The internal sprinklers went off, and the doors were magnetically sealed.”
“So when the fire response team arrived, they saw our stormtroopers dressed in ultra skin-tight clothes, while also being soaked. It was described as ‘fetish wear that could have been worn by the Great Enemy.’ ”
“And one of them happened to have a pict-taker…”
“Which was immediately distributed across the ship. The Church is trying to seize all the copies.”
“And the Stormtroopers didn’t see anything?”
“They were apparently drugged with a local fungal infusion. They did report ‘extremely vivid dreams.’”
“And the local sensors…”
“Had a routine malfunction. Yup.”
Inquisitor Siadwell rubbed the bridge of his nose. “This Ship is a madhouse.”

-

In the darkness of Between, three old men giggled like school boys.

Tomn
Aug 23, 2007

And the angel said unto him
"Stop hitting yourself. Stop hitting yourself."
But lo he could not. For the angel was hitting him with his own hands
What's the matter, Inquisitor? Too radical for you? :smug:

(A smugface with a Commisar cap on would honestly not be out of place.)

Pirate Radar
Apr 18, 2008

You're not my Ruthie!
You're not my Debbie!
You're not my Sherry!
I would question "a routine malfunction" but eh, it's the Beast.

Green Intern
Dec 29, 2008

Loon, Crazy and Laughable

:herooftheimperium:

HiHo ChiRho
Oct 23, 2010

LowellDND posted:

Slice of Life XXXVII

In the darkness of Between, three old men giggled like school boys.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CGbgAisf6_c

Outrail
Jan 4, 2009

www.sapphicrobotica.com
:roboluv: :love: :roboluv:
Haha yes! Our from below strategy is paying dividends.

'Psychoticological' warfare.

Deadmeat5150
Nov 21, 2005

OLD MAN YELLS AT CLAN

Outrail posted:

Haha yes! Our from below strategy is paying dividends.

'Psychoticological' warfare.

This is my new favorite term and I will be using it often.

Loel
Jun 4, 2012

"For the Emperor."

There was a terrible noise.
There was a terrible silence.



Deadmeat5150 posted:

This is my new favorite term and I will be using it often.

Brb Catechism of Psychoticological Warfare, as told by Old Man Henderson

Deadmeat5150
Nov 21, 2005

OLD MAN YELLS AT CLAN
Also that Slice of Life is my favorite one so far. Please do more of them :)

Toughy
Nov 29, 2004

KAVODEL! KAVODEL!

I also like that you use your SoL bits for comedy in this grim dark tale, the mix is just right

Arkanomen
May 6, 2007

All he wants is a hug

LowellDND posted:

Brb Catechism of Psychoticological Warfare, as told by Old Man Henderson

Goddam chaos gods stole me gnomes!

White Noise Marine
Apr 14, 2010

Tomn posted:

What's the matter, Inquisitor? Too radical for you? :smug:

(A smugface with a Commisar cap on would honestly not be out of place.)

:smugissar:

Loel
Jun 4, 2012

"For the Emperor."

There was a terrible noise.
There was a terrible silence.



So I think Im going to talk a bit about my method today.

Usually, most days, I can tell when I’m inspired to write. There is a … crispness, or a heightened awareness, and the words just flow. Sometimes, it goes past that even to an itch - have to write, have to write! This is usually aided by my little rituals - I have the same spot on the couch, I make my coffee, and I have my music. Often times, finding the right music takes as long as writing the post. I don’t know what I’m looking for, I just know what it is when I hear it.

Other important things is closing all my other tabs - forums, tumblr, facebook. I keep the IRC chat open, but only check it if I’m namedropped. Otherwise, I just check other tabs to look up names or bits of lore (or to check the exact definition of a word I’m thinking of using).

Today has been harder - yesterday was my long class day, so I slept a lot afterwards, and I couldn’t get into my groove. Usually just making the outline gets me there, but today I have the outline and the right music, but its not there yet. Most times I can refresh my ideas by doing an unrelated SOL, but that’s not working for me today either.

So Imma spend a few minutes explicitly not writing (and playing mario flash). It clears my brain up properly, and then I can get going.

Music is the Diablo catacombs/caves soundtrack


The Sanctity of this Place Has Been Fouled (Skade POV)

For some reason, the funeral was held in the basement of the Church.

Perhaps not unusual for a private ceremony, as this was - all the movers and shakers of Above - but most churches don’t have a torpedo tube in the basement. Why the Cathedral had been placed on top of one of the ship’s weapons - or why an anti-ship weapon had been built under a church - was unclear, lost to the vagaries of time.

All in all, it gave a strange juxtaposition. The chamber had the arches and pillars of an ornate church room, carved from the marble of distant worlds. But it also had the grooves and tracks for moving torpedoes into place, and the pulleys and old ropes still hung from the ceiling, seeming to shift uneasily as they were surrounded by the relics of a Holy place.

As you looked around the settling crowd, you saw De La Torres give you a little smile and wave. You smiled back, and sat down next to her, fingers entwined. She was really only invited to this private ceremony due to her place in Ohone’s retinue, but you were still happy to see her. The politics aboard Ship were exhausting you both, and you really hadn’t seen each other enough.

With the death of Limosa, Devries had found a wave of Above allies that he could simply slot into. They were practical people, and a smooth-talking ambitious new member of the Family had a ready welcome. In many ways, he spoke their language, that of power and political niceties, and Ohone hadn’t focused on them at all in her advances. Her response, and that of Below, was to simply reach for a bigger hammer.

It was enough to make you throw your hands in the air.

You could check your notes, but you knew them as well as you knew yourself. Hierophant Ruhr Allanson, talking to Devries as they both came in. You knew Devries had offered him an invitation to the Sisters of Battle, which was all Allanson had ever wanted. They and he would run around the Ship like maniacs, setting fires and having auto-de-fes. Allanson thought he would be the next Vandire, the fool. Devries had cultivated him within days of coming aboard, and now they were the best of pals.

The Hierophant’s religion was one for the officers and nobles, that of wealth moving up and violence moving down. His power base was substantially damaged by the loss of the Dregs, and he was looking to expand his power base. His alliance with Devries was a natural fit, particularly as the remaining Dregs were being cultivated by Erasmus and Father Kraig. Their religion spoke to the emotional needs of the poor, and you were winning numbers if not power.

You would have wondered how Amacita would have taken it - her initial power base had been those same Dregs - but she wasn’t doing well. She moved gingerly, and didn’t meet anyone’s eyes. When she sat down, she spoke to no one, and Devries made sure he stayed close to her. That was saddening, she had seemed so happy about him six months ago.

Next on the invitation list. Navigator Apollyon Diachenko. An ally of Devries, as were most people at this ceremony. He was from a family of navigators, similar to the dynasty that ran this Ship. They were more spread out, however - some of their people maintaining their monopoly here, others on other ships and other worlds. Their Guildhouse was on Khepri IV, and you were sketching plans with Sincera on how to manipulate it.

Parallel to him, Astropath Zackary Crotwell. Almost certainly a front/cover/puppet for someone else in their family, he was a boyish child who never did anything without consulting his Clan. You would have considered making use of his vices, but Devries was unnaturally good at finding and using them first. Whether drugs, sex, money, or something else, if someone had a flaw, he would wield it. The Guildhouse of Crotwell was on Minaria Prime, too distant to really send plots against.

The Merchant clans were a continuously squabbing mess of commerce, cartels, and conspiracies. The two major players on the ship right now were Hadrian Noctula and Boreas Polius. Powerful and complacent, they were strong influences on financial decisions of the Family, and they were orbited by a dozen lesser noble merchants. Slightly behind them, Georgi Tomkin. New and from Golgotha, he was the chosen leader of the Spire that Inquisitor Siadwell had collected, and he represented several Golgotha conglomerates. You were working on them, but it was hard to do without the public backing of Ohone.

The Officers were… a weird bunch. Normally officers had ranks, but they were all Family members, if not the fast-track to Lord-Sire or Retinue. They chose someone to speak of internal Family members to the Lord-Sire, and the current one was Oskar Ravensburg. He spoke for lesser Family, the ones who ran the ship between Lord-Sire and Dregs, and you thought you were making good mileage with them.

Next, wearing a hat that looked like a nest with the actual birds, Seneschal Eleonora Winterswijk. She served the position of Lord-Sire with indifference to who actually sat in the Throne. She had brought a stack of folders even to the funeral, and she watched the events with hard eyes. She had no time for Intrafamily politics. Amacita used to spend a lot of time with her, but Devries had taken a lot of that workload. They spoke briefly as she sat down, and then she ignored the proceedings.

The chief officer of the Grey Guards arrived as well, deploying a handful of her best troops to ensure the security of the ceremony. Colonel Sancha Rameriz, she had a similar view to things as the Seneschal - she was there to serve the Family in toto, and the individuals who made up the Family were largely useless. She protected them from outsiders, but cared little about protecting them from themselves.

Finally, an ally. The Imperial Guard Representative, Comissar-General Fabian Konichev. Often a role that went unfulfilled, and it was very rare to have a full General take the position. He was working closely with Sincera to counter Devries - they both hated him for their own individual reasons, and they were following Ohone’s initial From Below strategy.

The Magos entered, surrounded by lesser Tech-Priests and a swarm of skulls that continually left and entered the room. They were probably on your side. Historically, the Magos was meant to act as a counterpoint to Lord-Sire, although the last pair had gotten along fairly well. Still, the Magos had had much more experience working with Ohone over Devries. Matthias was working on cultivating them, but he lacked the rank for it. Mostly, he focused on maintaining Ohone’s relationship to them, and reminding them that Ohone was still in play.

Not present, although still important: The Gangs. They had fallen into line with Devries. Ohone had never really focused on them, mostly stringing them along with promises, and Devries had a lifetime of criminal experience. He knew just want to offer them, and now they walked about with an additional swagger. The Dregs kept their heads down, they knew what happened when the Gangs started feeling cocky. Usually the Gangs just had a Lord-Sire’s indifference, but with his actual backing?

Also not present, the Explorer’s Guild and the Tribes. Tanya was running rampant in both, and if Ohone died, Tanya could probably do a From-Below opening herself in a decade or so. For now, they were coordinating their efforts in finding all the secrets of the Ship, as well as all the connecting passages and forgotten maintenance avenues. Apparently, Father Krieg and Erasmus were already making good use of it.

Still working on the next half, but I wanted to get this posted to clear my head.

Loel fucked around with this message at 19:23 on Feb 27, 2015

HiHo ChiRho
Oct 23, 2010

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FmnDXRJ7btE
The book Ohone is long and boring
No one can lift the drat thing
It's full of charts and facts, some figures and instructions for borging

But I,
I love it when you implant to me.
And you,
You can implant me anything.

The book Ohone has Kriegers in it,
In fact that's where Kriegers comes from.
Some of it is just transcendental,
Most of it is just really dumb.

But I,
I love it when you gas mask me.
And you,
You can gas mask me anything.

The book Ohone is long and boring,
And written very long ago.
It's full of dendrites and Flour-shaped boxes,
And things we're all too young to know.

But I,
I love it when you give me things.
And you,
You ought to give me dendrite rings.

And I,
I love it when you give me things.
And you,
You ought to give me dendrite rings.
You ought to give me dendrite rings.

sniper4625
Sep 26, 2009

Loyal to the hEnd
Tooling around with effects and filters in photoshop working on some jacket designs.



Here's one for Tanya.

Edit: Never forget:

sniper4625 fucked around with this message at 06:24 on Feb 27, 2015

Loel
Jun 4, 2012

"For the Emperor."

There was a terrible noise.
There was a terrible silence.



:allears:

White Wedding Cake (Skade POV)

You were actually rather glad that you weren’t able to bring your full team up here. While it did mean you appeared weak to Above, all your forces were working while Devries’ team was in ceremony. Sincera was running a masterful plan in her quasi-bunker in the Deeps, and everywhere Ohone’s forces were obeying her will. Namely: to bring the smooth functioning of the Beast to a screeching halt.

See, the Officers and all the rest may have had authority, but their legitimacy was a sometimes thing. And the Deeps would never explicitly break a law or disobey an order - the consequences were far too harsh, even for people loyal to you - they were quite willing to make things difficult. The informal term in Ship’s crews was called a ‘slowdown’ and it was both illegal and hard to prove.

Much of the crew knew exactly what to do and when to do it - oftentimes, officers were only needed for general intent, and little else. Now, though, every order needed to be explicitly spelled out, and each order was carried out to the letter and not the spirit. Even further, unless they were directly overseen, the work crews simply worked slower, within the guidelines of the Catechisms. A Lord-Sire trying to run things against the will of the crew would be like swimming through molasses, and both Devries and Siadwell were learning that.

Siadwell was showing its effects, at that. His face was wan, and he moved with a tired precision. With him was Ohone, flanked by multiple stormtroopers in uniforms that looked faintly too small. No one commented on it though, and they stood with an icy dignity. Siadwell looked over the crowd, and nodded to himself. “I didn’t know your Lord-Sire well, and I don’t think its my place to speak at his funeral. If someone would like to say something?”

Most everyone glanced to Devries, who smiled apologetically and stood. His voice was comforting and mellow. “I didn’t know Lord-Sire long. I will say, though, that he changed my life in the short time that I did know him. I was and am a simple officer of the Imperial Guard, and it was through his grace that I met Amacita. Smile hon.” Amacita nodded without looking up, and he continued. “The love of my life. And I just want to say, that this Family is dearer than life to me, and I wish it all the best.” He sat down to polite applause.

Next to him, the Hierophant. “Lord-Sire was a good and faithful child of the Church, and of the Imperium. He served the will of the God-Emperor well, treating xeno, mutants, and the Enemy like the scum they were. I have every expectation that the next Lord-Sire will be a cut of the same fold.” He didn’t emphasize his words much, but he didn’t have to. Everyone knew he meant Devries.

Diachenko had nothing to say, his third eye focusing on something else entirely, and Crotwell stumbled through some prepared speech until Polius stood. Crotwell sputtered and stopped, not halfway finished, but sat down anyway. Polius smiled avuncularly. “That’s all well and good, but the man is dead. With no Lord-Sire, we have no heart of the Ship. No one to pump the profits through the system. What say you, Inquisitor? Have you come to name our next leader?”

The crowd nodded and thumped, and Devries looked modest. Almost certainly a planted question, to test the waters. Inquisitor Siadwell shifted where he stood, then walked to the center of the room. “I was hoping to delay this until after the ceremony, but if you insist.” The merchants smiled at each other, confident they knew how it was going to go.

“There won’t be a new Lord-Sire.”

Immediate bedlam, people raising their fists, shouting. Inquisition was one thing, but seizing a Charter was another. That was only done in the worst of heresies, and this was just some rogue Family member. At worst! He raised his hand, but they ignored it. They continued to do so, until Sister Suffer revved up her chainsaw. The guttural noise cut through the crowd like, well, a chainsaw, and he continued.

“I am holding the Warrant of Trade in trust until the investigation is complete. The ship will stay here, at Footfall, until we have concluded the matter. We want to see why an Interrogator died, and we intend to ensure it does not happen again. If Ohone and/or her people are innocent, the ship can go on its way.”

Noctula spoke next. “Why not name another Lord-Sire then? The Ship must run.”
“I and my staff will take over some small tasks. I’m sure the Ship can manage to orbit on its own for a few months.”
“Respectfully, Inquisitor, you won’t be here full time. A Lord-Sire must run the ship, waking and sleeping.”
“If I name your man Devries, Ohone may come back innocent but without the chance to her Family’s estate. That might provoke a civil war aboard ship, and the Inquisition predicts some needs of this Ship. We are doing what we must to keep the peace.”
“And if she’s found guilty?”
“Then I am sure you will choose your next Lord-Sire, as you always have.”
The two merchant-lords grimaced, but shrugged. “Have it your way then, Inquisitor.”
“I usually do. Would someone else like to speak?”

Ohone stepped forward, smiled apologetically about her. It was an uncanny reflection of Devries’ own approach, although you wondered if Ohone was more honest about it. She seemed to care about those who worked for her, anyway, as noblesse oblige demanded. You were happy to serve her in such a way - every citizen in their place and a place for every citizen.

“I didn’t know our Lord-Sire long. I came aboard ship from a Forge-World perhaps a year ago, and he was the same as I think he was to everyone - the Titan of this world. His will chose the direction of the ship, and it was his will that made it so. He was everything a Rogue Trader should be - ruthless, intelligent, and hungry. We did well under his leadership.

“And now he’s gone. I know this a touch sentimental, but I would like to recreate the last moments I had with him.” She met the Inquisitor's gaze. “While we all recognize the need for your Ordos, I think you will agree that it changed the tone of the wedding considerably.” Siadwell almost smiled despite himself, charmed by her voice. You wondered how long she had been planning this speech.

“Amacita? Dear sister. Could you come up here please?” Amacita did so, moving slowly, looking at Ohone’s feet. “Can you tell if this is the same cake as at your wedding?” She glanced half heartedly at the confectionary Beast, nodded. “That’s lovely. You can sit down, my dear.” Ohone looked about her. “Ah, yes. I think our Lord-Sire would have liked you, General Konichev. You both serve the Imperium in your ways.”

She glanced down. “Oh, I’m sorry. Did anyone bring a knife? I’m afraid the good Inquisitor took mine.” An older looking woman, one of the minor nobles, pulled a knife from her satchel - old and worn looking. “Try this one.” Ohone reached for it. You could see Siadwell’s eyes suddenly narrow, but he didn’t interrupt. “Thank you.” She then placed the knife in the former Lord-Sire’s hand, cut the cake. “In memories of weddings past, and weddings future. Our Family.”

Seneschal Winterswijk burst out laughing. Everyone turned to stare at her.

“What happened? Why are you laughing?” Anyone could have asked that, but Crotwell was loudest.
“She just married Konichev! The Commissar is Family!”
Devries stared daggers, but didn’t say anything. Siadwell spoke. “Lord-Sire is dead though. He couldn’t officiate.”
“You didn’t name a successor! He still qualifies!”
Siadwell stared at her. “It can’t possibly work like that.”
“It has for five thousand years, Inquisitor!” She crowed, still laughing.

He stared at her a moment longer, then rubbed his temples. “This loving Ship.”

Loel fucked around with this message at 19:23 on Feb 27, 2015

Successful Businessmanga
Mar 28, 2010

Hold up a piece of cake and ask Devries if he'd like the first slice, proceed to run across the room and slit his throat. :v:

sniper4625
Sep 26, 2009

Loyal to the hEnd
Dear Inquisitor Siadwell and Mr. Devries,



:smug:

Love, Fabhone

vvv Hella sweet vvv

Xun
Apr 25, 2010



OMG WE GOT MARRIED

Xun fucked around with this message at 07:26 on Feb 27, 2015

JT Jag
Aug 30, 2009

#1 Jaguars Sunk Cost Fallacy-Haver
The fact that this pissed off DeVries tells me that it was absolutely the right thing to do

Lanky Coconut Tree
Apr 7, 2011

An angry tree.

The angriest tree

LowellDND posted:

“This loving game.”

:allears:

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Loel
Jun 4, 2012

"For the Emperor."

There was a terrible noise.
There was a terrible silence.



sniper4625 posted:

Dear Inquisitor Siadwell and Mr. Devries,



:smug:

Love, Fabhone

vvv Hella sweet vvv

Xun posted:



OMG WE GOT MARRIED

:3: :3: :3: :allears: :allears: :allears:

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