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LaTex Fetish
Oct 11, 2010

If only I could get her to sharpen me axe!


I just feel like I have more potential.

Sometimes while at work, I think of something funny and write it down but by the time I get home I can't help but think it's just not funny. I've been reading a lot of other posters' threads and posts to try and understand what makes them funny, but I don't think I understand. Like, sometimes I do the whole 'post without proper grammar' routine, but that only goes so far, you know?

My posts get empty-quoted every now and again, but that's really all. I see some posters get lauded and I want to be like that. There's always 'that one group', you know? I want to be apart of that but I don't think I'm funny enough.

I just feel like I'm at the end of my rope and I don't know how much further I can go.

Do you guys have any resources? I'm looking for articles I can read, preferably some youtube videos I can watch to maybe make my posting better.

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Lank
Sep 16, 2002

WHERE IS THE CHANCELLOR?!



Follow this guy's approach.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hhQfBlthOWM

xov
Nov 14, 2005

DNA Ts. Rednum or F. Raf


Get a load of this guy - he gives a poo poo about what anonymous chucklefucks on a message board think of him.

Love yourself and the rest will follow. Stop caring and you will achieve greatness, or something.

Aggressive pricing
Feb 25, 2008


When my posting feels a little weak, I'll staple my scrotum to my thigh.

Mofabio
May 15, 2003
(y - mx)*(1/(inf))*(PV/RT)*(2.718)*(V/I)

Even if you became hilarious people would still link to this thread after every post you make

jackyl
Jun 1, 2000


LaTex Fetish posted:

My posts get empty-quoted every now and again, but that's really all. I see some posters get lauded and I want to be like that. There's always 'that one group', you know? I want to be apart of that but I don't think I'm funny enough.

Sabaka
Aug 12, 2005



Funny posting is a pretty important part of life. It's one of the biggest things people tend to regret on their deathbed.

BlueChocolate
Jan 4, 2014


that's ok, all the actual funny people are all gone anyways

Palpek
Dec 27, 2008


Do you feel it, Zach?
My coffee warned
me about it.


I think the answer is obvious - sever and therapy.

Frykte
Jan 20, 2009


LaTex Fetish posted:

I just feel like I have more potential.

Sometimes while at work, I think of something funny and write it down but by the time I get home I can't help but think it's just not funny. I've been reading a lot of other posters' threads and posts to try and understand what makes them funny, but I don't think I understand. Like, sometimes I do the whole 'post without proper grammar' routine, but that only goes so far, you know?

My posts get empty-quoted every now and again, but that's really all. I see some posters get lauded and I want to be like that. There's always 'that one group', you know? I want to be apart of that but I don't think I'm funny enough.

I just feel like I'm at the end of my rope and I don't know how much further I can go.

Do you guys have any resources? I'm looking for articles I can read, preferably some youtube videos I can watch to maybe make my posting better.

Well LaTex Fetish I think that when you get home you should post it anyways. At worst it will just get ignored, and if you're lucky you'll get some constructive criticism back. Posting on a forum as popular as something awful's can be intimidating, but chances are everyone else is thinking the same thing "I hope people enjoy my posts" instead of thinking about your posts specifically. Good luck in the future friend.

Illinois Smith
Nov 15, 2003

Ninety-one? There are ninety other "Tiger Drivers"? Do any involve actual tigers, or driving?


have you tried weed or lsd or both

Discount Viscount
Jul 9, 2010

Watch Out!


Observe the world around you, find out what kinds of things you find funny. Take everything in and let those connections happen in your brain. A breadth of knowledge is a good foundation and will provide you with many more opportunities. The trick then is in taking them.

Even if this never leads to you being a laugh riot it'll at least provide a good context for conversation and interaction and having a good fun time with as many people as possible.

I'm no Everdraed but a small group of brain-damaged folk have found a small percentage of my posts humorous and/or informative at various times. My sense of humor is a mix of awful puns and barely disguised allusions to any number of things (mostly movies). I also aim for brevity, partly due to laziness and an inability to craft anything elaborate, but also it's terribly satisfying to be able to amuse with just a handful of well-chosen and timed words.

Alternatively, be a clown.

Silver Striker
May 21, 2013



OP, I have seen you post before and I think you are a good poster. Hope this helps.

Danger
Jan 4, 2004

all desire - the thirst for oil, war, religious salvation - needs to understood according to what he calls 'the demonogrammatical decoding of the Earth's body'

Have you tried getting a weird twitter? Is that still a thing?

The Devil Tesla
Jan 2, 2012

Watch Ping Pong

Weird Sandwich
Dec 28, 2011


No one on Something Awful is funny, don't worry about it.

Kazvall
Mar 20, 2009



I will take you under my wing so you may learn how to properly use 'im gay' and 'kill youre parents'. The advanced lessons will cover inverse tryhard posting and how to make horseshoes.

Cnut the Great
Mar 30, 2014

If you'd like to be a dear and spend money to change it to something more mature, be my guest


It's not about being funny. It's about the post count.

Now go forth and prosper.

Misandrist Wytch
Jan 12, 2011
Probation
Can't post for 6 hours!


tane

SuppressdPuberty93
Nov 11, 2013



Who do you guys follow on Twitter? Thanks.

Chilled Cap
Nov 15, 2011



Step 1: Think of some funny combos of words that don't even necessarily mean anything together, like "cheese donkey" or "banana dog penis". It helps to write down all of the funny words in an Excel file, and then write a VBA script that will create random combinations of them until one of them makes you laugh out loud. When that happens, you're really onto something! (Sometimes, you can even make up a word out of thin air, like "tane" or "plape" or "hame", but this is an advanced technique and well outside the scope of this guide.)

Step 2: Okay, "banana dog penis" is pretty funny, but to really launch it into the stratosphere of comedy, we're going to want to humorously misspell it (for example, "banana doog peanis"). What I find helps in the beginning is to just type out the phrase really fast with your eyes closed about one hundred times, and then choose the funniest misspelling or even combine several of the funniest typos! Once you get some experience, though, you'll have a "sixth sense" about what to misspell!

Step 3: Wow, with "banana doog peanis", we've really got something. Now we just have to put this wacky invention into some context! Just think about something funny to say about your invention! In this scenario, I'd say the funniest thing you could do would be to suck that dog penis! How does posting "i want to suck banana doog peanis" sound? We're really on the right track!

Pope Corky the IX
Dec 18, 2006

What are you looking at?


Have you tried Hare Krishna?

Tonetta
Jul 8, 2013

Hitler Would Have Loved You

stop using anime titty sleeves on your cards

stop posting almost exclusively i ngames

change yourg ay avatar

imp zone is not a place to learn funny

Magnus Gallant
Mar 9, 2010

Waoh, it's like, a thing

Chilled Cap posted:

Step 1: Think of some funny combos of words that don't even necessarily mean anything together, like "cheese donkey" or "banana dog penis". It helps to write down all of the funny words in an Excel file, and then write a VBA script that will create random combinations of them until one of them makes you laugh out loud. When that happens, you're really onto something! (Sometimes, you can even make up a word out of thin air, like "tane" or "plape" or "hame", but this is an advanced technique and well outside the scope of this guide.)

Step 2: Okay, "banana dog penis" is pretty funny, but to really launch it into the stratosphere of comedy, we're going to want to humorously misspell it (for example, "banana doog peanis"). What I find helps in the beginning is to just type out the phrase really fast with your eyes closed about one hundred times, and then choose the funniest misspelling or even combine several of the funniest typos! Once you get some experience, though, you'll have a "sixth sense" about what to misspell!

Step 3: Wow, with "banana doog peanis", we've really got something. Now we just have to put this wacky invention into some context! Just think about something funny to say about your invention! In this scenario, I'd say the funniest thing you could do would be to suck that dog penis! How does posting "i want to suck banana doog peanis" sound? We're really on the right track!

I said come in!
Jun 22, 2004



Don't copy other peoples humor, you gotta come up with your own style. All of the funny posters on this forum (there are very few) have their own unique posting style, they don't copy anyone else.

LaTex Fetish
Oct 11, 2010

If only I could get her to sharpen me axe!


Tonetta posted:

stop using anime titty sleeves on your cards

stop posting almost exclusively i ngames

change yourg ay avatar

imp zone is not a place to learn funny

I'm trying to become a funnier poster, not move into a 'normal' lifestyle where there's no anime allowed.

Tautologicus
Oct 3, 2013


Have you tried drugs and therapy, OP?

By which I mean psychedelic drugs and urine therapy?

Mulefisk
Sep 24, 2007

I am angry.
ANGRY ABOUT CITIES


hmmm, banaena doog peanis

Yad Rock
Mar 1, 2005


Chilled Cap posted:

Step 1: Think of some funny combos of words that don't even necessarily mean anything together, like "cheese donkey" or "banana dog penis". It helps to write down all of the funny words in an Excel file, and then write a VBA script that will create random combinations of them until one of them makes you laugh out loud. When that happens, you're really onto something! (Sometimes, you can even make up a word out of thin air, like "tane" or "plape" or "hame", but this is an advanced technique and well outside the scope of this guide.)

Step 2: Okay, "banana dog penis" is pretty funny, but to really launch it into the stratosphere of comedy, we're going to want to humorously misspell it (for example, "banana doog peanis"). What I find helps in the beginning is to just type out the phrase really fast with your eyes closed about one hundred times, and then choose the funniest misspelling or even combine several of the funniest typos! Once you get some experience, though, you'll have a "sixth sense" about what to misspell!

Step 3: Wow, with "banana doog peanis", we've really got something. Now we just have to put this wacky invention into some context! Just think about something funny to say about your invention! In this scenario, I'd say the funniest thing you could do would be to suck that dog penis! How does posting "i want to suck banana doog peanis" sound? We're really on the right track!

this is a good example of how not to be funny (not just the instructions but the post itself)

facebook jihad
Dec 18, 2007

all my words trip as they leave my lips
I've come to set things straight
she needs an excuse to end things and
become the things you hate


wow E/N has gotten really...slow lately

Filippo Corridoni
Jun 12, 2014

I'm the fuckin' man
You don't get it, do ya?


Palpek posted:

I think the answer is obvious - sever and therapy.

This is a joke but i'm quoting this because its good advice. For me, something awful is a place for nerds to nerdily make fun of nerds and for trolls to troll trolls. (I'm actually embarrased by how many posts i racked up in such a short amount of time.) It's not real life, and i don't care all that much about it because of that.

Any sort of emotional investment in anything that's not real life is goddam dangerous. I think goons despise goony morons because, at some level, we've all been there - and hate our old selves for getting there. Whether its being a shy beta loser or being a full-blown WOW addict, we've all been there. Hell, even being an SJW is an example of nerdy garbage, except extreme identity politics stands in place of magic the gathering or bitcoins or whatever. Meth addicts and nerds stop bathing for the same reason - real life no longer interests them.

Wanting to craft better jokes to impress strangers on the internet means you're still in that drat wretched place/mindset. You need to just stop loving posting and start doing ANYTHING else (video games don't count). Seriously, sever from the internet and talk to a real-life person about anything that's not nerd-related. Make self-improvement your nerd hobby. Join a gym, get a therapist, and just embrace actual life.

The Silver Snail
Apr 2, 2010

BEHOLD AND WEEP

Do not try to be funny for our sake. Just post the things you have fun posting.

Entropia
Nov 18, 2012


lately i've been getting probated for posting things that i find funny

Wayne Gretzky
Aug 4, 2007


Yad Rock posted:

this is a good example of how not to be funny (not just the instructions but the post itself)

i think Banana doog Peanus is kind of funny...

Kazinsal
Dec 13, 2011

I can say with absolute certainty that we went in there intending to kill everything.


Stop giving a poo poo and braindump. Chances are whatever spergy things you find funny the other thousands of spergy people we call our fellow goons might find funny.

Except "xbone" jokes. No one finds those funny. Even reddit thinks those aren't funny.

Tonetta
Jul 8, 2013

Hitler Would Have Loved You

Oh yeah well your xboned another man before leaving your sadbrained rear end

Kazinsal
Dec 13, 2011

I can say with absolute certainty that we went in there intending to kill everything.


Tonetta posted:

Oh yeah well your xboned another man before leaving your sadbrained rear end

You know me too well, person I've never conversed with.

Prallax Litovsk
Oct 5, 2013

This poster has no sense of humourTM and is fully aware of it.


You just have to come to terms with not being funny, op. If you could chose to be very funny or v. rich or v. beautiful - which one would you chose?, is what I like to tell myself because I would not chose funny, even though I am none of those things, at least I know how to hypothetically make good choices in life.

Xillah
Nov 29, 2002

I paid $10 to change some guys avatar to an Oblivion Elf with giant tits just to steal this gif


Drugs. Lots of drugs

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spacetimecontinuu
Dec 31, 2004


Filippo Corridoni posted:

This is a joke but i'm quoting this because its good advice. For me, something awful is a place for nerds to nerdily make fun of nerds and for trolls to troll trolls. (I'm actually embarrased by how many posts i racked up in such a short amount of time.) It's not real life, and i don't care all that much about it because of that.

Any sort of emotional investment in anything that's not real life is goddam dangerous. I think goons despise goony morons because, at some level, we've all been there - and hate our old selves for getting there. Whether its being a shy beta loser or being a full-blown WOW addict, we've all been there. Hell, even being an SJW is an example of nerdy garbage, except extreme identity politics stands in place of magic the gathering or bitcoins or whatever. Meth addicts and nerds stop bathing for the same reason - real life no longer interests them.

Wanting to craft better jokes to impress strangers on the internet means you're still in that drat wretched place/mindset. You need to just stop loving posting and start doing ANYTHING else (video games don't count). Seriously, sever from the internet and talk to a real-life person about anything that's not nerd-related. Make self-improvement your nerd hobby. Join a gym, get a therapist, and just embrace actual life.

heh, I don't care about this thing *writes a long post about it*

 
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